Tell The Truth Lads - Celtic Were Miles Better Than A Poor Rangers Outfit

FOR all the efforts of the Lap Top Loyal and the other apologists for the currently mis-firing Rangers, only the most-myopic of Ra Peepul will believe any of the: “The gap's not that big” guff being spouted.

Sunday's League Cup semi-final could so-easily have been another five-goal humping for Rangers, but, even if Celtic's superiority was not reflected in the score line, it was all-too-evident to anyone not watching through red white an blue specs.

Then cometh the fall-out, and, first out of the traps was Graeme Souness, calling for Rangers to spend, spend, spend in an effort to close the gap. Given it was Souness's spending which forced the Lawrence family to bail-out of Ibrox after many years, then sent David Murray down the road penury – it might be wise for that honest and upright citizen of the Republic of South Africa, Mr David Cunningham King to lift the telephone and say: “Graeme, shut the fuck up, you've caused enough damage”.

Rangers' problem is no so-much that they've undr-spent, more they've taken Ike Turner as an example – Tina's former husband once famously showed it was possible to spend $1 million on tat from Woolworths – that's the showbiz equivalent of Rangers' current policy of buying guys who couldn't cut it in the lower reaches of the English Championship and below.

IF, back when the SFA and the SPFL decided some form of “Rangers” HAD TO be kept in Scottish football, the reprieved club had opted to believe in youth and build through the lower leagues, then, perhaps, today they would have a squad of young, thrusting Scottish players, who had come through the ranks and were keen to show what they could do. A squad which would surely have given Celtic more of a game than their mercenaries have managed thus far.

GOOD to see and hear Stuart Regan's spirited defence of Wee Gordon Strachan this week, in the face of the half-hearted “Strachan Must Go” campaign, currently being whipped-up by some of the weans writing about football or commentating on the game in the mainstream media.

Regan maybe isn't the cleverest, but, he knows, it wouldn't matter who was Scotland boss, because of the stumblebums from the clubs that he has to deal with on a daily basis, changing the manager will not mean Scotland will qualify for the 2018 World Cup Finals.

I really am getting fed-up pointing this out, but, I will keep saying it until something happens.

I HAD a minor victory at the weekend. For years, I have been trying to get the excellent Tom Johnston, the man with the hardest job in Scottish football, as Secretary of the SJFA, to list the Scottish Junior Cup draw, alphabetically.

For Saturday's second round, he did it, which made reading through the results a bit easier. Nice one Tom.

YOU KNOW, “The Greatest League In The World” and all that shite – the English Premiership. Well, this week, I watched a couple of games, Liverpool v Manchester United and Chelsea v Manchester United.

Maybe it was the presence of Man U in both games, but, I have to say, the game at Anfield was absolute mince, a 90-minute boring snoozefest, while all I can say about United's isplay at Stamford Bridge is: “The cry was no defenders”.

I've seen better games at Rosebank Park, Lugar – home of the mighty Lugar Boswell Thistle.

We're Awe Doomed - Yet Again

OLD Private Fraser here, while the rest of Scotland was celebrating Celtic's magnificent 3-3 home draw with Manchester City, was trying to preach caution. Watching the game, it was clear, City was the better team, and, Celtic were lucky to escape with a point.

This, however, didn't fit-in with the tale the Scottish Football Writers Association was trying to spin to the dafties who pay at the gate, or buy the TV packages to watch Scottish fitba. I say again, the Scottish mainstream media's football writers, whether in or out of the SFWA could give Josef Goebbels lessons in propaganda.

We've been shite for years, but, wheesht, dinnae tell the punters this. Keep telling them, we are good at this gemme, and the saps will keep turning up.

Well, after last night's gubbing from Gladbach, back at Fortress Parkhead, I don't think Celtic have anywhere left to hide. They are going out of Europe before Christmas. For the benefit of those who would argue otherwise – remember this: Celtic are as much use in Europe as a three-pin plug.

Yes, they might beat Barcelona at Celtic Park, but, I would suggest, only if Barca have already qualified and want to give their youth team a run out. I suppose they could yet go the the Ethiad and win, but, by the same token, I could get off with Elle McPherson. Celtic might go to Monchengladbach and win 3-0; there is previous on this, Rangers did it once, but, that was in 1960 – before there was a national German league, and Gladbach were a largely amateur side.

But, let's face reality, Celtic lost 0-2 at home, and got off lightly. But for Craig Gordon, it could have been another embarrassing defeat. And, Celtic are, by some distance, the best team in Scotland.

Altogether now: “We're shite – and we know we are..........”

I NOTICED a wee piece on The Herald's website today, apparently moves are afoot to get a reborn Third Lanark into the Junior Central League, then the Lowland League and, eventually, back into senior football.

Old romantic that I am, I would love to see the Hi Hi, the team of Jimmy Brownlie, Jimmy Carabine, Jimmy Mason, Ally MacLeod, Bobby Mitchell, Goodfellow, Hilley, Harley, Gray and McInnes back in senior football.

Thirds were undone by allegedly corrupt business practices and died. If another Glasgow club, also undone by allegedly corrupt business practices had gone down this route – starting in the Juniors, then joining the Lowland League, and working-up through the levels – well, an awful lot of Scandinavian forests would still be standing, and there would be a lot fewer stupid comments being posted below the line on various websites.

The new team will, 50-years after the old one died, still be able to claim the history and the trophies – that much has been established!!

IT SEEMS the UK is heading for a “hard” Brexit fro Europe, with the numbers of immigrants arriving in England one of the driving forces for this sharp exit.

The Tory government is adamant, they want to control immigration and cut down on the number of Europeans now working in the UK. Unelected Prime Minister May has, on a couple of occasions, ruled-out guaranteeing EU immigrants currently in this country, continuity of stay once Brexit happens.

Well, IF this happens, we can say goodbye to such English Premiership talents as:

David De Gea (Manchester United and Spain); Per Mertesacher (Arsenal and Germany), Vincent Kompany (Manchester City and Belgium), Gael Clichy (Manchester City and France); Bastian Schweinsteiger (Germany and Manchester United), Juan Mata (Manchester United and Spain) Cesc Fabregas, Paul Pogba (Manchester United and France); Mesut Ozil (Arsenal and Germany) and Zlatan Ibrahimovic (Manchester United and Sweden) will all have to go home – along with the several hundred other EU footballers plying their trade in England.

Stands to reason, if all those Poles, Bulgarians, Romanians and so forth who are keeping the English agriculture and hospitality industries going have to go home, well then why should European footballers be allowed to stay. Popcorn ready, this could be fun.

However, we must ask ourselves – how will this affect the stellar talents emerging from what will probably be an independent Scotland? Will a “hard” Brexit, followed by indepenence mean a “hard” border, customs posts at Carlisle and the closing off of the High Road to England?

GERRY Gow died last week. Gerry was from Drumchapel, one of the many Scottish hard but talented midfielders who stalked the midfields of England in the 1970s and 1980s, when men were men, who spoke with a Scottish accent.

Gerry was best-known for his time with a Bristol City team which over-achieved by getting into the old First Division and staying there, before getting a big-money move to Manchester City.

The best story I heard about Gerry was of how, facing the 17-year-old Neil Redfearn, making his debut for Bolton Wanderers, Gow told Redfarn: “Son, Ah'm gonnae brek yer fuckin' leg”.

An older team mate told Redfearn to ignore him, since: “Gerry's only kidding-on”. Then Gow went back and told Redfarn: “Ah'm no kiddin; Ah will brek your fuckin' leg”.

Right up there with the legendary Jim Holton retort to Spurs and England's Martin Chivers, who told him: “You're nothing but a big, dirty, Scots c*nt”.

“Aye, and don't you ever forget it”, was the response from 'Six-Foot-Two, Eyes of Blue'.

SHUT UP GUYS - WGS IS NOT THE PROBLEM AND CHANGING MANAGER IS NOT THE ANSWER

THIS will be a very short post – I have only one message, which I direct to the numpties in the Scottish Football Writers Association.

The message is: “Be careful what you wish for, and it would help if you SHUT UP”!!

A bandwagon is building to get rid of WGS and get a new Scotland manager in place. The question is who do we go for?

The reality is, no manager today could make a silk purse out of the sow's ear that is Scottish football. If not Strachan – who? Name one credible contender?

The SFA is a failed organisation – Theresa May's government has more of a clue about Brexit than the haddies on the sixth floor at Hampden have about running a football association, and the Tories are making it up as they go along.

Let's be clear about this. As of now, WGS's overall record as Scotland manager reads:

Played 32 – won 16 – drawn 6 – lost 10; this equates to winning 50% of the games, and garnering 56.25% of the available points.

I admit, his record in friendlies is better than in competitive games, but, overall, Strachan's record is about average for a Scotland manager. 

By the way, his current record is better than Jock Stein's overall record – won 42.64% of the games, took 49.02% of the points. And nobody will convince me that Strachan is a better manager than Stein. Similarly, nobody would dare to try to tell me Strachan has better players at his disposal than Stein had.

Stein capped (admittedly not all at the same time): Jim Leighton, Sandy Jardine, Danny McGrain, Graeme Souness, Alex McLeish, Willie Miller; Jimmy Johnstone, Denis Law, Kenny Dalglish, Jim Baxter and Davie Cooper. Pick an XI from the players Strachan has at his disposal to give that XI a game – and, I'll give you three goals of a start.

Strachan is not the problem – Hampden is the problem, the set-up in Scottish football is the problem. We need to change that, before we need to change the manager.

The 13 Haddies - And Not One Is A Player

AS I sifted through the wreckage of last night's travesty in Travana, some of the wise words of Ally MacLeod came back to me. During one of the free-wheeling discussions which followed a good Ayr United performance, in his pokey wee office below the stairs at Somerset Park, we were mulling-over the then upheaval up the road at Rugby Park. I cannot remember which Kilmarnock boss was under pressure at the time – it might have been Eddie Morrison, or Jim Clunie, but, anyway, while things were rolling along nicely for Ally in South Ayrshire, in East Ayrshire, the natives were revolting.

“He's ok just now”, said Ally of the under-pressure boss. “His troubles will really start when the fans turn on the directors. Once they start getting flak for how the team isn't playing, the manager's jacket is on a shoogly nail – that's when the board has to be seen to do something, and the gaffer is on the way out”.

Sure enough, the Killie crisis deepened, and the manager duly left. That's how it is in football – the professionals cop all the flak, then take the walk of shame, the directors, who more-often than not pick the wrong guy as manager, have a fairly easy time of it.

Right now, WGS is under attack from the combined football IQ of the fans with lap tops, most of whom couldn't explain the offside law to you, far less discuss how to counter a high pressing game, or how a midfield diamond works. The chaps have, in their infinite wisdom, decided that the fact Scotland is shite is all the fault of the wee man in the technical area.

Guys, Scotland has been shite for years – last night's “disaster for Scotland” is nothing new. My dear and much-lamented old friend David Francey trade-marked: “Oh dear, oh dear! Disaster for Scotland”, before most of the present-day hacks were born.

We currently have four points from three games; this is par for the course with Scotland in the 21^st century. Does any sane and sensible Tartan Army foot soldier honestly believe a new manager, even if we could persuade the likes of Jose, “The Chosen One” or Pep Guardiola to take the Scotland job, could do any better with the players WGS has at his disposal.

OK, maybe tinkering with the personnel could bring improved performances, but, there is no guarantee of this. It is not as if we have guys to bring in who are markedly better than the guys WGS is picking.

The manager is getting pelters for losing, away from home, to the team ranked second in the group – he has had more abuse for this result than he got for not beating, at Hamden, the team ranked fifth out of the six in our group – but, that's the thinking of the Scottish media pack.

Over the years, it isn't the away losses to the teams ranked above us which has derailed Scotland's cause in World Cups or European Championships, it's the fact we consistently dro points to the group minnows.

In 1965, it wasn't the fact a weakened team lost 3-0 to Italy in Naples which cost us our place in the World Cup in England the following year – it was the fact we only took one point from the four available against Poland. If we hadn't lost from a winning position in the final five minutes of the game against Poland at Hampden, things would have been a lot different, and we would at least have been in a play-off against the Italians.

In 1994, we took maximum points from the two “diddy” nations in the group – Malta and Estonia, but, we only took two of the eight points available against Portugal – who didn't qualify – and Switzerland, who did. Italy were always favourites to top our qualifying group that campaign, it was our poor displays against the other two teams we were effectively fighting for the second qualifying slot which snookered us.

In 2006, it was always going to be the Italians who topped the group, with Scotland and Norway fighting it out for second. The Norwegians won at Hampden, we won in Oslo, which cancels out. We had the same record as the Norwegians against Moldova, who finished bottom of the pool. Where Norway qualified instead of us was they took 10 of the 12 points available against Slovenia and Belarus, we only managed five points.

The last campaign, to go to Brazil, was yet another in which our failure to impose ourselves on the two bottom teams cost us dearly. I can agree, we suffered some dreadful refereeing decisions in the two games against Wales – who finished below us, but no points from the six on offer was a huge blow to our qualifying hopes. Also, we took four of the six available points from our games with Croatia – who qualified, but, failing to beat Serbia, who finished above us, was almost as big a blow as our failures against Wales.

In the 2010 campaign, I suppose we really can blame one man. If big Chris Iwelumo had only stuck away that sitter against Norway at Hampden, we probably would have qualified.

But, as you can see from the above list – our failure to win games we ought to win has been a recurring theme, so, we shouldn't be too-surprised at what happened last night.

I would suggest, from the above evidence, there is something lacking in Scottish football, something right at the heart of the game, and, since past managers, even the great Jock Stein, have had to live with qualifying failures, it is no use blaming the guy who picks the side, or the players.

I say again, the whole structure of Scottish football is wrong. It has been wrong for years, and there is absolutely no sign of the Hmpden blazers changing things to sort this imperfect structure, and, until we do – non-qualifications will simply continue.

And, by the way, it is far too early in the 2018 campaign, to be throwing-in the towel. There are a lot more twists to come in this group.

However, if the Tartan Army and the Fans with Lap Tops really do care about the future of Scottish Football and about where we are going from here – they should not attack the manager, but, the combined wrath of an angry Scottish nation should – MUST – fall on the stumblebums who make the decisions.

The main Board consists of eight members: the Scottish FA Office Bearers (Alan McRae, President; Stewart Regan, Chief Executive; and Rod Petrie, Vice-President), plus Ralph Topping (SPFL), Michael Mulraney (SPFL), Tom Johnston (Scottish Junior FA) and independent non-executive directors, Barrie Jackson and Gary Hughes.

Chairman: Rod Petrie (Scottish FA), along with Alan McRae (Scottish FA), Stewart Regan (Scottish FA), Andrew McKinlay (Scottish FA)*, Neil Doncaster (SPFL), Ralph Topping (SPFL), Duncan Fraser (SPFL), Michael Mulraney (SPFL), Stewart Robertson (SPFL), Sandy Stables (SHFL) and Andrew Waddell (SLFL) make-up the Professional Game Board.

I would excuse Tom Johnston – who has enough on his plate keeping order between Auchinleck Talbot and Cumnock, before he gets going on the other local versions of the Hatfields and McCoys in Junior Football – Ban Ki Moon couldn't do Tom's job.

But, we should be getting into the ribs of those others named above. The ongoing mess is their fault, we should be reminding them of that and insisting they get their fingers out and put things right, pronto.

It's not th fault of WGS that we are shite, but, the 13 haddies named above can take the blame for their failings, and those of the hundreds of haddies who went before them.

You Cannot Blame The Scottish Government For the Fact The SFA Is Run by Idiots

The Herald has this week ran a piece by its Chief Football Writer, which is a straight rant at the Scottish Government, for simply floating the notion that “Strict Liability” for the behaviour of their fans might be imposed on Scotland's football clubs – perhaps as a means of taking OBFA off the statute book.

Matthew Lindsay, the current holder of the post of Chief Football Writer for the Herald goes on, in his article, to make it clear, in his view this is a load of keech. Well, Matthew is Scottish football's undoubted expert on keech – he's been writing it for years where Rangers is concerned. In my view, were the fabled position of Right Worthy Master of the Lap Top Loyal ludge to exist, Mr Lindsay would be the holder of that position.

As I have said, often, Offensive Behaviour at Football is not the preserve of the Old Firm clubs, collectively or individually, but, there are more fans of these clubs, so, it stands to reason, they are likely to have more bams than any other clubs, bams who are liable to indulge in offensive behaviour at football.

Professional football is a branch of the entertainment industry. As such, football clubs are liable to uphold certain standards of behaviour. For instance, if the police are repeatedly called to a pub, because there are fights there every night, or even every weekend, at closing time – it would not be long before, when that pub's application to renew their licence came up, the Polis would be objecting, on the grounds of repeated bad behaviour.

If there is evidence of repeated drug-taking, fighting and anti-social behaviour at a club or dance hall, again, the Polis will object and, if the case is strong enough – the licence goes.

Funnily enough, in spite of one set of fans seemingly glorying in the late Dan Archer's description of them as: “A constant embarrassment and occasional disgrace”. In spite of the proven spike in assaults, admissions to A&E, incidences of wife-beating etc, which follows Old Firm games, not to mention the high arrest rates both inside and outside the grounds at such games – we never hear of Ibrox or Celtic Park being threatened with closure. Football has been treated as a special case, and has had an easy ride for generations.

Generations of youngsters in Motherwell, Kilmarnock, Aberdeen, Dundee etc., have been taken by their fathers to watch their local team playing – but, have not, until their Dad considers them old enough, been taken to games when the Old Firm comes calling – their excesses have been tolerated, for far too long.

And, before the Celtic Family seize the moral high ground here, I would refer them to the wise counsel of Rev Stuart Campbell, who runs the excellent pro-independence website, Wings Over Scotland. The Rev, who is an avowed Aberdeen fan maintains: “75% of the Rangers support are knobheads, only about 50% of the Celtic support are thus”. Loath though I am to disagree with the Rev, I feel his percentages are a bit low there.

When OBFA was brought in, the majority of the fans of the “diddy” teams supported it – the opposition came mainly from the Old Firm. This hardened somewhat once the Celtic fans realised, the Act was not designed to catch the bad guys who followed Rangers, but, could also capture the Celtic lunatic fringe.

Every club has its lunatic fringe, again, I state the obvious, the Old Firm's lunatic fringe is bigger, so, if OBFA can weed them out first, it is win-win.

That said, OBFA is flawed Law, badly-drafted, hurriedly-introduced, but, it is better than nothing. We are now beginning to see the flaws in OBFA, so, perhaps the time is right to review it, or tweak it. For myself, I honestly believe, “strict liability” is the way ahead, because, it would force the clubs, particularly the Bigot Brothers, to finally, get off their erses and do something about their: “constant embarrassment and occasional disgrace”.

Let us assume, “strict liability” is brought in. Let us also assume, and this one is harder for me to get my head round – that the will exists within the Hampden corridors of power to make SL work. The first match day in which SL applies – the fans of a certain Glasgow club reprise their favourite ditty of the moment, that one about being up to their knees in a scarlet bodily fluid emitting from persons who follow the Roman Catholic faith.

This community singing is considered to be offensive, and the club is fined. The following week, it happens again – again the club is fined. It happens a third time, but, this time, instead of fining the club, they are deducted three points. I suggest, it would not be long before the club took action to ban the miscreants.

As I have said before, the community singing is perhaps more prevalent at away games, where the ticket allocation tends to be distributed via organised Supporters Clubs. Since the technology exists today to pin-point where the choristers are sitting – it would be easy to discover to which SC they belonged. A warning letter to the secretary of that club, followed by, if it happens again – a ban on that club's members getting tickets – problem solved in jig time.

The football clubs and the game's wider authorities would need to do a bit of work to rid the game of the lunatic fringe, but, it could be done. Again, however, I question if the will to act is there.