BEING “A BABY BOOMER” - I am now something of a dinosaur. I might have had the first pair of Puma boots in Scotland, but, what a change they were from the Manfield Hotspurs I wore before that. I was brought-up to believe: “Fitba's no fur lassies” even though big May Stark, from the year above ours at Primary was a better centre forward than the boy who did wear the nine jersey. I have also come to the conclusions: Julie Fleeting was the best Scottish striker since “The King”, while Caroline Weir has the best Scottish left foot since “Jim Baxter's Claw”.
But, still I have never been a cogniscenti of Women's Football – something in my DNA says it's not right. However, I had been partially won over by the occasional clips I had seen of the ongoing Women's Euros. Unlike the top-tier Men's game, with its ethos of: “Don't lose, don't give the ball away, never try a risky forward pass”, the Women seemed prepared to try things.
Thus, in the spirit of let's give them a shot, I decided to watch last night's England v Sweden game. I survived, and my psychiatrist tells me, with time and the proper care, I should make a full recovery.
I joined the preamble as late as I could, but Mrs Logan and her panel were already in full-on “Engurland, Engurland, Engurland” mode; however, experience has taught me, that is the Television companies' default setting for games involving England – so I let it pass.
Then, on came the match commentators: Robyn Cowen and Rachel Brown-Finnis, who over the following two and a bit hours, managed to give the best impression of the late Marty Feldman's legendary England v Uruguay sketch I have ever heard. If you don't know this particular little gem – it's on You Tube.
I thought the pair were going to fall on their microphones as Sweden surged into a two-goal lead, totally dominating the game. However, the Swedes then conspired to miss a handful of chances which the likes of Henrik Larssen or Zlatan Ibrahimovic would have converted in their sleep and, to be fair to the English girls, some inspired substitutions and sheer grit got them back to 2-2 and into a penalty shoot-out.
We didn't have penalty shoot-outs when I was a goalkeeper, but, I used to love facing spot-kicks; mind games come into play and I had a reasonable stopping record. But this one: it was Keystone Kops in the low quality of the misses.
Again, credit to the English girls, at least they forced the Swedish goalkeeper to make saves, albeit from poorly-struck penalties. However, the failure of three of the Swedish takers to even force the England goalkeeper into making a save – that's criminal. If you cannot even hit the target, you don't deserve to progress in a tournament.
Sweden might have ruled the roost for the bulk of the two hours' play, but, if you cannot put the ball in the net, you go out.
I do hope the two BBC Commentators have recovered, they were close to hysteria by the end, and they still have – potentially – two more games to cover. However, once again, we Scots must ask: why do we have to be subjected to such biased English commentary overkill?
I know, it's no use complaining, the English bosses, plus the “House Jocks” within the BBC hierarchy will not listen. At least, if we were Independent and had our own Scottish broadcasting body, we would not be subjected to such blatant English propaganda.
I am now going off to destroy my ABBA CDs and bin my copies of Mama Mia and Mama Mia HWGA.
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