The Hapless Herald - Getting It Wrong Again

I STILL get the (Glasgow) Herald's morning bulletin into my inbox, but I haven't bought a hard copy of this once-great paper in years. I recall, a few years back now, telephoning the Herald Sports Desk, and getting the late Hugh McKinlay. Now, in the Herald's order of precedence of brilliant journalists, Hughie, as he would tell you himself, wasn't in the front line alongside the likes of Dan Archer or Doug Gillon, but Hughie was a brilliant sub-editor, who could polish even their glittering prose, while he could go out into the front line of match reporting and deliver the goods. He was the professional's professional.

When I asked him how things were at the top of Albion Street, back then, (this was right at the start of the bean counters down-sizing the paper) he told me: There are still, just, enough of us in here who still care, but, it's getting harder and I am counting the days until I can go.”

Shortly afterwards, Hughie did indeed go, sadly, he didn't get to enjoy a long retirement, before he was taken, too-early.

I doubt if I could have that conversation today, there are people running desks and getting by-lines in the Herald who would never have got through the doors twenty or even ten years ago.

For example, take one of today's featured pieces, by Graeme McGarry, who asks what is the point of the Scotland Under-21 team under Scot Gemmill. On the face of it, a fair question. Scotland will not be going to the 2025 European Under-21 Championships, a result which young Master McGarry thinks has got Gemmill's trackie jaiket on a shoogly nail.

Here Son, have a reality check from an old hack who has endured far-more “Disasters for Scotland” than you. Scotland failing to qualify for the finals of this competition is nothing new – we haven't managed it this century. Our last visit to the finals of this competition was when it was held in Spain in 1996.

Our record in this competition since then is:

Played 128 – won 47 – drawn 30 – lost 51 – wins per-centage 36.7%

In the qualifying competition which has just finished, we finished third in our group, behind Spain (FIFA ranking 3) and Belgium (FIFA ranking 6). Lest we forget, Scotland is currently ranked 52 by FIFA. Scotland won 50% of their games in their 2025 qualifying group, so, rather than thinking of sacking Gemill, we ought to be praising him for a better than usual campaign.

But what Master McGarry and the great brains of the Scottish Football Writers Association will not tell their readers is: it matters not a jot who is managing our Under-21 team,; you could invest in a time machine, bring back peak Alex Ferguson and give him the manager's gig and we would still fail to qualify – because Gemmill is having to work in a system which is broken and against developing young Scottish talent.

Scot Gemmill is having to largely pick from players who are not playing for really big clubs, and, if they are, they are only getting occasional minutes on the park, because the clubs' first teams are packed by inferior non-Scottish imports.

It is easier to buy a ready-made journeyman from a nation which still believes in youth development, than for the SFA to enforce a genuine youth development programme in Scotland, and until that changes, out Under-21 team will continue to fail to qualify for the big tournaments.

Them are facts – face them.

WE ALL KNOW, managing the England football team is The Impossible Job, so good luck to Thomas Tuchel, the latest schmuck to be tasked with meeting English expectations via the reality of most of the available players coming from a league which is only English in where it is based.

Mind you, I reckon, these days, managing Scotland is fast approaching English levels of impossibility, we do love to make things difficult4 for the manager in whom we trust, or do not trust as the case may be.

I was disgusted by some of the immediate comments on social media from some Rangers supporters, continuing their insidious campaign of hatred against Stevie Clarke. It is a sad condemnation of Scotland and Scottish Football that the national manager should be getting abuse from a section of the football public, probably because, for them, to use a Scottish expression: “He kicks wi the wrang fit.”

That this criticism should come from followers of a club which has very-fre Scots in its first team squad, and whose management would far-rather they were a small fish in the larger and financially deeper English Premiership pond – well, to me, they are onloy embarrassing themselves by their stupidity.

SPEAKING of people embarrassing themselves, Cristiano Ronaldo didn't do himself any favours when he spat the dummy and threw his rattle out of the pram at the end of Tuesday night's Nations Cup match at Hampden.

Sure, it must be annoying when you, who sees yourself as The G.O.A.T. miss the only two half-decent chances which come your way in a game, chances you would have buried with aplomb even five years ago; then to see your expensively-rated team unable to beat Scotland, a nation ranked 44 places below you in the Coca-Cola/FIFA World Rankings – well, I think that gives you some right to throw a wobbler.

It is common knowledge that the hardest decision a sportsman has to make is when to call it quits. To be honest, the few who have managed to get it right are hugely out-numbered by the thousands who got it wrong, who soldiered-on too-long and ended up being dumped out of a game they loved when someone, usually of inferior ability decided: “Nah! He's over the hill and it's time to put him out to pasture.”

As yet, Ronaldo has not met anyone with the strength of character to pull the plug on his career, but, on the evidence of Tuesday night, he is swirling round the stank-hole and it is perhaps time for somebody to grab the bull by the horns and save him from himself.

EMBARRASSMENT is contageous; consider the case of the reports that Manchester United has cancelled Sir Alex Ferguson's contract as Club Ambassador – a move which has brought even more abuse down on the heads of the new High Heid Yins at the club.

Club Ambassadors are a fairly recent arrival in the world of football. Time was when the Club Chairman was its Ambassador. The Manager was perhaps the public face, but when it came to the politics of the game the man seated at the top of the board room table was the Main Man.

United were perhaps fortunate in having, over many years, top shelf, football royalty in the ambassador's role. Once he stepped down as Manager, Sir Matt Busby practically invented the position, before handing it over to Sir Bobby Charlton. After Bobby's death, the role passed to Sir Alex.

The Alex Ferguson of his days as a manager, well for that Alex Ferguson, diplomacy and an ambassadorial role was a definite no-way; however, he has embraced the role of Elder Statesman and while his presence around the club was far from ideal for those attempting to fill his shoes in the technical area, he added dignitas and lustre in the directors' box.

But, this came at a price and perhaps his reported £2 million per year plus employment package is now too-much for a mid-table Premiership club. I dare say, however, he will continue to sit in his free seat at Old Trafford on match days. But, in dropping him, the new United management has given themselves a face as red as the club's shirts.

 

Do We Really Have To Cancel Everything For A Game 1400 Miles Away?

ANDY MITCHELL or Douglas Gorman I am not, but I do enjoy delving into the rich history of Scottish Football. Indeed given the parlous state of our game in this third decade of the 21^st century, there is something comforting in looking back to the days when Scotland was a genuine force in the Beautiful Game.

Back in 2018 I was doing a 90^th Anniversary of the Original Wembley Wizards piece, when a snippet from the Daily Record picqued my attention. This was an aside to the effect that when the half-time score from Wembley (England 0 – Scotland 2) was announced at Ibrox, where Rangers were in the process of beating Clyde 3-1, it produced the biggest roar of the day.

That will seem strange to modern eyes. The perception these days is that Rangers supporters are, to a man, England fans in disguise. But, surely the stranger thing is – there was a full Scottish First Division programme going on that day.

OK, there were only three Scotland-based players in the victorious XI at Wembley: goalkeeper Jack Harkness (Queen's Park), inside-right Tim Dunn (Hibs) and outside-left Alan Morton (Rangers), but I reckon, from memory, it was only in the 1970 that clubs were given a dispensation to re-arrange matches – when they had three or more players in an international squad.

Nowadays, complete swathes of fixtures are cancelled when there are internationals on the agenda. To me, this does not make sense. Scotland are in Croatia on Saturday, so why cannot we have a full programme of domestic games played. After all, it's not as if Stevie Clarke calls on Scottish-based players, only seven of his squad for the games against Croatia and Portugal are home-based and of these, only Hearts (2) and Celtic (also 2 now that Greg Taylor has pulled out) contribute more than a single player to the squad.

You look at Rugby Union, where both Glasgow Warriors and Edinburgh are expected to contribute a full team of players to a Scotland squad and still play league games. After all, if our 12 top-flight teams can register 399 professionals and only 7 of them are on Scotland-duty, 1400 miles from Glasgow, what's stopping them from putting-on a full domestic programme on Saturday?

As it stands, there are only two domestic SPFL fixtures scheduled for Saturday. I fear this might be a mistake on the part of the SFA and the League. What happens if a lot of the displaced fans decide to get their Saturday Fitba Fix by taking in something like a West of Scotland League game, and realise, they are getting better entertainment and more bang for their buck there?

There are some tasty-looking South Challenge Cup Third Round ties on the calendar, I can tell you.

When I was a boy the senior football season began in August and was effectively done and dusted by the end of April. The Juniors mind you, worked to a different calendar. I remember, back when he had hair on his head rather than his chin, Chick Young announcing: “This season's Junior Football shutdown will be on a Wednesday”. I remember one season covering one Ayrshire side's first pre-season friendly one July Saturday, then Auchinleck Talbot's final cup final of the previous season the following Wednesday.

With these blank weekends for internationals, the postponed games will have to be played on a midweek, which will mean additional costs for floodlighting, police overtime and so forth. Surely, if Scotland is in Zagreb, it makes sense to tive the stay-at-home fans games to go to at 3pm on a Saturday. You never know, it might catch on.

IN A RECENT BLOG I was somewhat scathing as to the talents of Rangers' wide man Vaclav Cerny. I reckoned, on the evidence of his early displays in blue that he wasn't Rangers Class.

He has quickly discovered, expectations are high when you patrol the wider areas of Ibrox,you are being judged against legends such as Alan Morton, Willie Waddell, Alex Scott, Willie Henderson, Davie Wilson, Willie Johnston, Davie Cooper and Brian Laudrop – and that judgement is being carried out by a support which demands, rather than expects excellence.

However, watching Cerny against St Johnstone on Sunday night, I got an idea that maybe there was more to the Croat than I had initially thought. He took his goals well and looked a much better player than previously.

Maybe he is starting to find his feet in the crazy world of Scottish Football. I think there is a player in there, simply struggling to get out. It certainly does not help that the current Rangers squad is very-much a work-in-progress, in the face of impatient, over-critical fans.

SEVENTY YEARS or so ago, Scottsh Football was supposed to catch up with the modern world. Embarrassed by doings at the hands of Hungary and Uruguay the English FA and the SFA decided to inaugurate Under-23 games, to help develop the next generation of young talent and feed them into international football.

Thus, on 8 February, 1955 the nations met, at Shawfield, for their first meeting at this level. The game finished 6-0 to England, the win mainly down to a second-half hat-trick from the great Duncan Edwards of Manchester United. It would be fair to say, Scotland centre-half Doug Baillie never really recovered from the Hell which the legendary Busby Babe put him through that night.

However, four of that beaten Scottish team: Alex Parker, Eric Caldow, Dave Mackay and Graham Leggat went on to wear the full team's kit with distinction. The full Scotland team that night was: Willie Duff (Hearts); Parker (Falkirk), Caldow (Rangers), Mackay (Hearts) Baillie (Airdrie), Bobby Holmes (St Mirren), Leggat (Aberdeen), Jimmy Walsh (Celtic), Ally Hill (Clyde), Bobby Wishart (Aberdeen), Davie McParland (Partick Thistle).

Nine of the England team, by the way, went on to become full internationalists.

In the pre-game preview, the Glasgow Herald pointed-out that the entire Scotland team, with the exception of Caldow, were already first-team regulars with their clubs.

Compare that with today, where hardly any of the latest Scotland Under-21 squad are even household names in their own households; 6 of the 25 players named are on-loan to lower-ranked clubs that their original sides and the squad includes Rangers' third-ranked and Celtic's fourth-ranked goalkeepers.

As part of their Player Development Programme, the SFA has initiated the formation of a number of Performance Schools across Scotland. These are at: Aberdeen's Hazlehead Academy, Dundee's St John's RC High School, Edinb urgh's Broughton High School, Falkirk's Graeme High School, Glasgow's Holyrood Secondary, Kilmarnock's Gtrange Academy and Motherwell's Braidhurst High School.

This programme has been running since 2012 and has brought through the grand total of one player – Napoli's Billy Gilmour, the only member of Stevie Clarke's current squad who is a Performance Schools graduate.

That's an awful lot of money spent on developing one player, even if, Gilmour is a wee bit special.

I also had a look at the make-up of the current full Scotland squad. Of the 23 players in the squad, 14 are graduates from the Under-21 team, on average taking just over two years to graduate to the full team. But there is no set pattern to this promotion. Some players, such as Ben Doak James Forrest or Grant Hanley are promoted quite-quickly. Others such as Ryan Porteous can take up to five years to graduate to full honours.

Maybe we need a half-way house between the Under-21 and full teams, Berti Vogts certainly thought so, when he came up with a German-style Scotland Development Team, but that idea didn't fit with how we have always done things here – just as the Scotland B team, a concept first tried in 1952, and which, in five seasons, was the breeding ground for two full teams of capped players – never caught on.

I fear we simply have to face it, we Scots don't do player development, or even planning for such development, at all well. We prefer to trust to luck, it's the Scottish way apparently.

 

Let's Not Laugh At Celtic

SCOTLAND'S STRANGE attitude to Football was perhaps best summed-up by the late Hugh McIlvanney's almost off-hand re-telling of an encounter he had with one of the High Heid Yins of the Scottish Football Association as they departed Hampden Park following the 1960 European Cup Final, in which Real Madrid hammered Eintracht Frankfort 7-3 – the Germans having reached the final via a 12-4 win over Rangers in the two-legged semi-finals.

As McIlvanney told it, this pillar of football administration assured him: “The ordinary Scottish football fan will never pay to watch that sort of football on a weekly basis.” As I understand it, the bold Hugh's response was a two-word reply, familiar to anyone from Scotland: “Aye right!”

Fast forward nearly 65 years, and I suppose, along the sixth floor corridor of power inside the same SFA's Hampden Park bunker and the successors to that 1960s “blazer” are probably, being Scottish, not exactly indulging in wailing, renting their garments, gnashing teeth and doing: “woe, woe and thrice woe” Frankie Howard impressions, in the wake of last night's Dortmund doing for Celtic.

At this juncture, we can rest assured, any sadness being felt by the High Heid Yins of the Celtic Family will be assuaged by reflecting on the wisdom of another SFA High Heid Yin from the sepia-tinted days of the 1950s – the blazer whose response to Uruguay 7 Scotland 0 at the 1954 World Cup in Switzerland was: “Ach! The fans will forget all about this one if we beat England next season.”

Unfortunately for him, the score at Wembley, ten months later, was: England 7 Scotland 2, and, nearly 70 years on, this writer still bears the scars that defeat inflicted on his eight year old self.

So, while heavy defeats in Europe are now becoming an all-too-familiar burden on the Celtic Family, I suppose a big win against Ross County, in Dingwall on Sunday and all will again be sweetness and light in the East End of Glasgow.

Perhaps in the cheaper seats, among the massed ranks of the Green Brigade and among the many in the corporate seats to whom, looking down on The Other Lot is their main kick in life, a typical multi-goal win on Sunday and, once again, all will be well with the world.

But, I would suggest that view will find little traction in the rarified areas of Dublin, in the locker room at The K Club, or the Members Club at The Curragh where no doubt, Dermot Desmond will be the butt of some humourous asides from the other movers and shakers of the Celtic Tiger – (that's Keltic with a hard K) he encounters there.

Perhaps Mr Desmond is having second thoughts about bringing back Brendan, after yet another European disaster. Maybe he is questoning a management model which sees his club paying over the odds for B or C List players, who may well be a tier or two above those they encounter in their domestic league, but who are found wanting on the big stage.

One of my Facebook friends, a Former Pupil of The Academy, who has blighted his reputation as a member of arguably the school's finest football team, by not just supporting Talbot, but also joining the Celtic Family. Well, he's hurting this morning and is suggesting: perhaps it would be better if his team and (maybe) The Other Lot, got out of Scottish football and into a European League – to allow the other Scottish clubs to find their own level.

Sorry Tam, won't happen. Not that you are wrong; I firmly believe there has to, sooner or later, be a European League, but, the entrenched interests of the long-established national associations, of FIFA and UEFA, werll, for a start, they will want their pound of flesh in setting-up such a League. They will also place every obstacle they can erect in the path of that League getting going, far-less thriving.

Even getting the Ugly Sisters into the English system would not really work – that would require the SFA to be taken over by the English FA. Good luck in selling that to the “blazers”.

Good luck too in the obvious answer to the problem, by raising the standard of players, coaches and team managers and overall club managers in Scotland. We could make a start to this, by making the Scottish League more Scottish.

I did a wee search this morning, on the number of Scottish players playing in the top flight in Scotland. It wasn't easy, but here is what I found:

1. Celtic – 29-man First Team squad – 9 Scots – only 2 of whom are first-team regulars

2. Rangers – 30-man squad – 12 Scots – only 1 of whom is a first-team regular

3. Aberdeen – 30-man squad – 11 Scots

4. Dundee – 26-man squad – 11 Scots

5. Dundee United – 42-man squad – 21 Scots

6. Hearts – 30-man squad – 10 Scots

7. Hibs – 35-man squad – 10 Scots

8. Kilmarnock – 30-man squad – 21 Scots

9. Motherwell – 45-man squad – 19 Scots

10. Ross County – 34-man squad – 16 Scots

11. St Johnstone – 34-man squad – 16 Scots

12. St Mirren – 30-man squad – 17 Scots

This adds up to 399 professionals across the 12 clubs, only 173 of whom (43%) are Scottish. Only two of the clubs, Kilmarnock, with a staff who are 70% Scottish and St Mirren, with a staff who are 57% Scottish have more than half their sqaud qualified to play for Scotland.

I would suggst that no national governing body worth its salt should be allowing their memebr clubs to so openly recruit players who are not qualified to play for the national side.

In the early days of the Bosman Ruling, UEFA introduced the Three Foreigners Rule, which Chick Young immediately christened: “The Eight Diddies Rule”. Maybe we should go back to those days.

I would suggest, no Celtic XI composed entirely of home-grown Scots would have shipped seven goals in Dortmund. After all, look no further than the greatest Scottish, far-less Celtic club XI: Simpson; Craig and Gemmell; Murdoch, McNeill and Clark; Johnstone, Wallace, Chalmers, Auld and Lennox.

None of them born more than 40 miles from Celtic Park, nine of them brought through the ranks at Celtic Park.

Or: McCloy; Jardine and Mathieson; Greig, Johnstone, Smith; McLean, Conn, Stein, MacDonald, Johnston; again, every one Scottish, five of them home-grown, the other six bought from other Scottish clubs.

Or: Leighton; McMaster and Rougvie; Cooper, McLeish and Miller; Strachan, Simpson, McGhee, Black and Weir. Once again, 11 Scots, 8 of them home-bred by the club.

I do not accept the: “That could never happen nowadays,” as if we suddenly lost the knack of recruiting and training-on talented young Scots. I am convinced we still have diamonds out there, maybe we have lost the skills to polish those raw diamonds.

So, today, I caution my fellow Scots:

Let's not laugh at Celtic, because, if we do not waken-up and smell the coffee, such results may well become more-common.

 

More Left-Field Thinking

I HAVE this week upgraded my television package and have finally got access to Sky. So now I can watch sport across all platforms. It doesn't help me much, because, the more I watch, the more I am becoming convinced: Football in 2024 is crap.

I can accept we have more-athletic players than we have ever had, but with all the money sloshing around in the game these days, we are seeing a lot of pretty-average journeymen being paid superstar wages for a low level of skill and application.

This is particularly true in the domestic Scottish game, about which I have a theory. In a past life I did a stint as a trade plater. Moving trucks old and new around the country on trade plates.

The company I worked for had contracts with several heavy truck manufacturers, who sold a lot of new trucks on leasing deals, at the end of which I, or one of the other platers would turn-up, collect the end-of-lease truck and deliver it to the manufacturers facility for handling such trucks.

There, they would be assessed, given whatever maintenance work was called for and either sent onto to the second-hand market, or, more-frequently, sent for export.

The end-of-lease facilities were usually along the M4 corridor and the trucks bound for export went out from either Harwich or Tilbury.

I think somebody, perhaps a mega football agency has the same sort of system going, collecting out of contract players from the lower levels of the Football League then exporting them to Scottish clubs, where, although they are not top of the line models, they are seen as better and more exotic than the local models, so, they get to play.

That's my take on how we come to see Scottish Football as, to use the local vernacular: “Pure Pish man.”

OK, I can already hear the advice: “If you think Scottish Fitba is so bad, you've got the TV Sports package, watch the English Premiership”.

Except, I cannot. OK, I admit to that morbid Scottish fascination for watching the not-so-good inaction – Sydney Devine, Fran and Anna, Joe Gordon and Sally Logan, The Alexander Brothers, 90% of the modern “comedians” on BBC Shortbread – there's a proud Scottish tradition of punters paying good money to watch mince in action. But, the truth is, while watching the current Manchester United squads passes the watching mince threshold, the likes of Manchester City, Arsernal and Liverpool are so-efficient, they are making football boring.

This current obsession with passing teams to death for instance. I suppose, in some ways, it dates back to Barcelona and “Tiki-Taka”. This style of football, short passing, at speed, was developed in Barcelona and Manchester City's Pep Guardiola, from his time with the Spanish club is considered the High Priest of the tactic. But, right from the start, in the early days of this century, Tiki-Taki had its critics; Atletico Bilbao manager Javier Clemente, back in 2006, is considered the first-person to have used the words “Tiki-Taka” in a derogatory way – he thought it was boring.

But, as demonstrated by the likes of the young Lionerl Messi, Xavi, Andreas Iniesta and Cesc Fabregas, it worked, so it spread. However, the Barcelona Boys wove their patterns in the final third of the park, today, too-often, lesser sides simply pass, for passing's sake, from their own 18 yard box.

Watching Rangers v Dundee on Saturday, four of the first five Rangers passes went backwards, indeed, I am convinced they played more square or back passes than forward ones over the 90 minutes. Yes, they played “Keepball” well, against limited opponents, but,the swathes of unoccupied seats in the Copland Road Stand is surely ample demonstration, they are playing a brand of football which not even the staunchest Bears can stomach.

My very first Old Firm game was in season 1963-64. I was lodging with my Uncle and Aunt in Springburn and Uncle Bobby was a Rangers fanatic, so off to Celtic Park we went with him and his work-mates.

It was, from memory a League Cup tie, Rangrers won at a canter with the young Jim Forrest making his name with a double. Rangers had the game won long before the end, so Jim Baxter decided to have a bit of fun as he, John Greig, Ronnie McKinnon and Davie Provan just passed the ball around among themselves for long periods inside the Rangers half.

OK, they were taking the piss out of a shell-schocked Celtic team, but, on Saturday I watched a Rangers back four, pale shadows of Greig, McKinnon and Baxter, passing the ball around among themselves, because it appears that is what they are expected to do nowadays.

If it was an attempt at Tiki-Taka it was a poor one; and, by the way, it way being played some 40 yards further from goal than Barcelona played it. I am also getting exasperated at the modern fashion for passing backwards.

When Rangers kicked-off on Saturday, they made four back passes, berfore they played one ball forward. There was one period, later-on on Saturday when, from a throw-in to Rangers, some 25 yards out from the Dundee goal, the ball was played all the way back to Jack Butland. To use a time-honoured Scottish Football expression: “That sort o' thing wid get Fitba stoaped.”

If we are going to insist on playing Keepball, in a congested midfield, which means passing back into our own half in an effort to open up space – here's a stream of thought:

• Why don't we cut the size of each team?

• Make Football a seven-a-side game

• Ban passing back into a side's own half, once they have taken the ball into their opponents' half

• We could even instead of having a half-way line, divide the field into three sections and limit the number of players who could be in any one section at a time

• That way, we would open-up space and make for a more-entertaining game

Football appears much-less willing than other games to tinker with the Laws. I have long believed the Law Book needs major reform. We are now 150 years into International Football, perhaps it is time for that reform.

Some Left-Field Thinking

IN HIS YOUTH Bill Struth was a “Pedestrian” - a middle distance runner of some note. He then moved across to Football, where he ran Rangers with an iron hand for many years, during which, he promoted, every year, the most-lucrative athletics meet in Scotland – the annual Rangers Sports.

In its glory years, under Struth, Rangers' Sports attracted huge crowds, to see Olympic Champions such as Eric Liddel or Jack Lovelock, and world record holders such as Sydney Wooderson or Derek Ibbotson compete on the Ibrox track. But, it wasn't those stellar athletics names who pulled-in the punters, no, it was the Five-a-side Football event, which brought together the six Glasgow clubs: Rangers, Celtic, Patrtick Thistle, Clyde, Queen's Park and Third Lanark – that was the big draw for most of the fans.

They had had no real football since the end of April, so, by the time the annual Sports came round, in early August, the punters were suffering withdrawal symptoms and desperate to see their heroes kicking a ball about – even if only half of the team was out there.

So, in the interests of seeing the Commonwealth Games in Glasgow in 2026 be a financial as well as a sporting success – here's my free suggestion: make Fitba one of the sports.

Imagine the chance to be Commonwealth Football Champions, surely that would get the countries interested and bring-in the fans. What price a Final, at Hampden, between Scotland and England, gold medals on the line – tickets for that would be like the proverbial gold dust.

The Rugby Sevens tournament at the last Commonwealth Games had an entry of 16 countries. OK, running a Sevens tournament, in which each game only lasts 15 minutes or so is a lot easier than running a full-scale Football tournament, but, we could take a leaf out of the Rangers sports book and make it five-a-side, or even seven-a-side, I am sure it would still pull-in the fitba fans.

Just for interest, the top 16 Commonwealth nations, according to the latest FIFA World Mens Rankings are – in descending order: England (4), Australia (25), Wales (29), Canada (38), Nigeria (39), Scotland (52), Cameroon (53), South Africa (59), Jamaica (61), Ghana (70), Northern Ireland (73), Gabon (84), Uganda (90), Zambia (93), New Zealand (95), Mozambique (99).

In the FIFA Women's Rankings, the top 16 are: England (2), Canada (6), Australia (15), Scotland (23), Wales (29), New Zealand (31), Nigeria (36), Jamaica (42), Northern Ireland (45), South Africa (50), Papua New Guinea (56), Zambia (62), Ghana (66), India (68), Cameroon (69), Fiji (72), Trinidad and Tobago (77).

There is one minor problem, Football is not a Commonwealth Games member sport, but, that is surely a minor consideration. I reckon, even at five or seven-a-side, the punters would love it.

I MUST ADMIT, I was a wee bit fearful for Celtic, facing Slovan Bratislava on Wednesday night. Perhaps long experience of our Big Two tripping-up in Europe had made me unduly pessimistic, but, fair dos to Brendan Rodgers' men, they did a thoroughly-professional job on their Slovakian opponents.

Tougher tests are coming down the road, Borussia Dortmund (away) next up will be a whole lot harder, but, sticking five past their opponents first time out has to be a confidence-booster for the rest of the campaign.

Celtic scoring a nap hand of goals (the old football cliches are the best) was as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit to the club across the city – greater expectations now apply to them as they head for Sweden next week; it's just another week in the mad, mad world of Glesca Fitba.

I SAW A POST on Facebook last week – the Best Playmakers in British Football History. It was the usual shite for such lists, with very few players from more than 20 years ago mentioned.

What was surprising was, Jim Baxter, who retired more than 50 years ago, was listed at Number Three. Now, the Gallus Genius is seldom, if ever, mentioned in such all-time great listings, so, I was surprised to see him in there, and so high-up.

Since Bobby Charlton and George Best, neither of whom I would tag as a “Playmaker” were ranked one and two, I did feel Baxter was under-rated, even at three. Danny Blanchflower, was way down the list, but, in my view, he was almost as good as “Stanley” as a setter-up of chances. While there was no mention of the under-appreciated “White Ghost of White Hart Lane” - the late and much-lamented John White.

White was the common denominator in Spurs' fabulous midfield trio of himself, Blanchflower and Dave Mackay and in Scotland's finest-ever midfield pairing, with the afore-mentioned Baxter.

Also missing was the name of Johnny Giles and another couple of great Irish midfield providers – the Republic's Liam Brady and the North's Peter Doherty.

Few fans today will have heard of Middlesbrough's Wilf Mannion or the man many older fans considered our finest Number Ten, before Denis Law – Billy Steel, a man still reveered on Tayside – but they were the orchestrators of Great Britain's six-goal hammering of The Rest of Europe in 1947.

And, if Mannion is still a God on Tees-side, older 'Boro fans will tell you, Bobby Murdoch wasn't a bad operator in the same role when he ended up at Ayresome Park.

Mannion succeeded another great of North-East of England football, Sunderland's Raich Carter, as England's main playmaker, before that role was passed on to Johnny Haynes of Fulham.

Haynes, forever enshrined as the British game's first “£100 per week footballer” had a passing range today's so-called playmakers could only dream about, while another absolute artist as a provider for others from that era was Welshman Ivor Allchurch.

Football today is a different game. Today's top stars have to be athletes as much, if not more than footballers, but, I firmly believe, when it comes to using the ball, making those defence-splitting 50 and 60 yard crossfield passes, rather than the simple five yard one we see so-often today – the old timers were in a different class.

One of my uncles was a Rangers regular, seldom missing a game that club played. He had a tale of how, as was generally the case – he always took a week or two to warm-up and work his way into a new season, Baxter was taking some flak from the old Ibrox “Hayshed” in an early-season game in which Rangers were struggling to get going.

His case wasn't helped by two things, one, that week he had been photographed at a social event with one or two members of “The Celtic Family”. Two - this had sparked off a rumour that he was rather close to a Celtic player's sister – and the Slim One was being barracked to: “Awa an' f#ck Bridie”.

As my uncle tells it, the abuse of Baxter reached a crescendo as Rangers prepared to take a throw-in in front of the Hayshed. Eric Caldow threw the ball in to Baxter, who let it bounce, then swivelled and left-footed volleyed the ball some 40-yards across field to Alex Scott, who rounded his marker and crossed, for Ralph Brand to fire home at the back post.

One-nothing Rangers, no more jeering of Jim Baxter. As the saying goes, form is transient, class is permanent.

 

A Reality Check For Celtic?

THIS IS a big week for Celtic. The new season has been plain sailing so far, five straight wins in the Premeirship, including a very-comfortable spanking of the side from across the city. But, on Wednesday night, the campaign moves up a notch or two, when Slovan Bratislava come calling to Celtic Park on Champions League duty.

Naturally, given their club's impressive start to the season, five straight League wins, 14 goals scored, no goals conceded, the Celtic Family are feeling good about this game. But, Slovan Bratislava are no mugs. Like Celtic they have a UEFA star on their shirts, from beating Barcelona in the 1969 Cup-Winners Cup Final. Also, Slovakian sides have a habit of upsetting Scottish opponents, so a home win on Wednesday should not be taken as read.

Slovan are unbeaten away from home in the four two-legged European games they have already played this season, and while they did lose heavily, 0-5, at MSK Zilina at the start of the month, that is their only loss in the 17 games they have played this season.

Celtic will find their opponents on Wednesday a step up in class from what they have faced so far this season. All Scots must hope they can get their European campaign off to a winning start, but, should beware of over-confidence.

And another thing – Slovan are ranked 59^th in the latest UEFA Club Co-efficients, Celtic are ranked 70^th.

RANGERS have another week before they return to the European stage, with their trip to Malmö – but, after their win at Tannadice on Saturday, they will be feeling a wee bit better about themselves.

However, drama is never far away from Ibrox these days and I suppose the latest offerings from Dave King – a sort of poor man's Donald Trump around the club, who fancies he is the man to sort everything out if they make him Chairman, well that will keep the red top hacks in the city excited for a day or so.

MEANWHILE – down here in God's County, the nativers are restless following Kilmarnock's adventures is Paisley at the weekend.

Derek McInnes is of course a Paisley Buddie by birth and he certainly enjoyed some banter with the local fans, after what the locals thought was a late winner, was ruled out by a VAR check.

But this, on the day, was a rare case of Derek agreeing with the match officials – I don't see referee Matthew McDermid being on the McInnes Christmas Card list after a couple of his decisions. Young Master McDermid is one of those referees, much like his new boss, Willie Collum was in his younger days, who is forging a reputation for being involved in controversial incidents.

But, to be fair to young Matthew, on Saturday he was hung out to dry by a totally unsatisfactory performance in the TV truck by Andrew Dallas. Of course I am a Kilmarnock supporter, but, I did spend the best part of a decade covering St Mirren, so, I have a foot in both camps here.

In truth the game ought to have been nine St Mirren players v ten Kilmarnock. Mikael Mandron, who was clearly taken off before he got himself sent off, should have gone on a clear second yellow card, which the officials ignored. But, that was nothing compared dto the total lack of action after Shaun Rooney twice clearly kicked the grounded Kyle Vassell.

In fact, had Rooney, as he should have been, seen red then, then Joe Wright would probably have avoided the red card he got later for a punch to the Rooney cajones, which Dallas in the TV truck did spot – and it would have been 11 Killie men v 9 Buddies.

Still, if you like your Scottish Fitba red in tooth and claw, then Paisley was the place to be on Saturday.

IN TRUTH, Heart of Midlothian were not expected to win at Celtic Park on Saturday, but, foot of the table, winless and with just one draw to post so far in the league campaign, they really need a boost before their upcoming European Conference League campaign gets underway.

The Jam Tarts are at St Mirren on Saturday; they then visit Motherwell, before their opening Conference League game, in Minsk the following Wednesday. Stephen Naismith really needs good results from these two domestic games prior to that match. The vultures are hovering over Gorgie this early in the season, that's the way of Scottish Football.

MEA CULPA, but it is only this week that I have caught up with the South Challenge Cup, what a cracking competition, bringing together 163 clubs from the Lowland, East of Scotland, South of Scotland and West of Scotland Leagues.

This season sees the 18^th running of the tournament, and, for the first time, it features an all-in draw from the start, which means clubs who rarely ever cross swords get to meet. In Saturday's 64 second round ties, there were some rare meetings and I picked out one or two interesting results.

For instance, I can think of no other competition which might see Whitehill Welfare of the East League, paired with St Anthony's that pro-Celtic enclave in the shadow of Ibrox, but, their clash certainly produced goals – 23 to be exact; with Whitehill winning 10-9 on penalties after the tie finished 2-2 after extra time.

Contrasting fortunes for the town of Irvine: Irvine Meadow cruised to a 10-0 win over South League Wigtown and Bladnoch, while Irvine Victoria were thumped 7-0 by St Cadoc's. Another big win saw Broxburn Athletic travel to Sanquhar and beat Nithsdale Wanderers 10-2.

Just up the road, in New Cumnock, Glenafton Athletic's 0-2 loss to Dalry Thistle was the end of the road for manager Ryan Caddis and his background team. I have already upset one or two locals in the village where I hide from my critics, by suggesting they break the bank, or at least get Sir Tom Hunter to chip-in, to bring Billy Dodds home as Manager/Saviour.

Needless to say, my advice has been ignored, man of many clubs and lurid headlines, Paul Paton has got the gig.