Paraguayan Footballers Don't Change

ONE OF THE less-documented chapters in the long and tumultuous footballing life of Thomas Henderson Docherty occurred in the summer of 1958. The Doc had played a key role in Scotland qualifying for the World Cup Finals, to be played in Sweden that year.

He had done a superb man-marking job on the great Alfredo de Stefano as Scotland beat Spain at Hampden in their opening qualifier. He then steadied the ship after the SFA Selectors viciously sacked Captain and effective Player-Manager George Young before the return game in Madrid, which Spain won at a canter.

This meant that Scotland had to beat Switzerland in their final qualifier to reach Sweden and in the match, at Hampden, Docherty gave a true Captain's performance to drag us over the line to Sweden.

However, after a 0-4 thrashing from England, back at Hampden in April, 1958, Doc was dropped; he remained in the 22-man squad which travelled to Sweden, but he was by then very-much in the “only to be used if everyone else is injured” category.

So, while the selected team prepared to open the tournament against Yugoslavia, in Västerås, Doc and Clyde's Archie Robertson were despatched to Norrköping to spy on next opponents Paraguay, who were playing France.

They reported back that the Paraguayans were very enthusiastic, but liked to “put it about a bit” and Scotland should prepare themselves for a bit of a battle. Doc went to his grave convinced that the SFA High Heid Yins totally ignored his report. Any way, a couple of rare goalkeeping errors from Captain Tommy Younger, which ended his Scotland career after 24 straight games, gifted the South Americans two goals in a 2-3 defeat.

In his match report for the next day's Glasgow Herald, Cyril Horne, the great Herald reporter, legendary for putting a Glesca Kiss on a gloating Uruguayan football writer four years previously, wrote: “This Paraguayan team is one of the poorest I have seen in international football. Their greatest assets were their tremendous enthusiasm and the variety of unfair tricks they employed.”

Mr Horne was typically incisive in his view on the match referee, Italian official Vincenzo Orlandini, of whom he wrote: “Signor Orlandini, for whom in the past I have had great respect, was a very poor referee indeed. The Paraguayan outside left kicked a Scot at least a dozen times after he had been outwitted, but the only punishment he suffered was a talking-to.”

What, one wonders, would today's SFA High Heid Yins make of Horne's brutal summing-up: “The tactics of Paraguay apart, Scotland lost this match because of goalkeeping errors, weak play at right back and poor shooting – the last the very fault that has been so apparent in recent months in every Scottish team.”

Fast forward 68 years and plus ca change. Scotland goes out of a World Cup because of our errors at the back and our inability to score, while Paraguay are roundly condemned when a weak referee allows them to reduce a game to a kicking match.

Mind you, today's Scotland stars might prefer, following a defeat, if the Scdottish press restricts themselves, as the Herald did the next day. To a report on the progress of the five Scotland players injured in the game. No hysterical four-page post-mortem on the loss.

Having watched that Paraguay v France match on Saturday night, I have only two thoughts:

1. Why didn't Didier Deschamps pull Mbappé and Dembele, to save them from possible injury at the hands of Paraguayan defenders who were in full head-hunting mode?

2. How bad must Scottish referees be, that we don't have a single official at this World Cup? When you reflect on how such a terrible referee as Ilgiz Tantashev of Uzbekistan can, after his rank rotten performance in our group game against Morocco, be given a knock-out game, in which, if anything he was even worse, our referees must be even worse than we think they are.

Scotland - Always Travelling Hopefully - Never Arriving

THE ONE consistent thing about Scottish international football since we first took to the world stage in 1950 has been our inability to meet our expectations.

Since our initial tilt at global or pan-European competition at the 1950 World Cup, we have entered either the World Cup or the European Championships 35 times. In these 35 tournaments, we have qualified in 14 and slipped amongst the also-rans in 21 – a 40% qualification rate.

Not particularly impressive, but, still a lot better than our non-success when we have reached the main tournament – where we have yet to advance beyond the initial group stage on all 13 occasions when we competed.

Our grim record is listed below:

• 1950 World Cup – Qualified 6 of 16 European entrants – did not travel

• 1954 World Cup – Qualified 8 of 26

• 1958 World Cup – Qualified 8 of 27

• 1962 World Cup – 12 of 28 – Failed to Qualify

• 1966 World Cup – 14 of 29 – Failed to Qualify

• 1968 Euros – 9 of 31 – Failed to Qualify

• 1970 World Cup – 12 of 29 – Failed to Qualify

• 1972 Euros – 21 of 32 – Failed to Qualify

• 1974 World Cup – Qualified 6 of 32

• 1976 Euros – 18 of 32 – Failed to Qualify

• 1978 World Cup – Qualified 6 of 31

• 1980 Euros – 22 – of 30 – Failed to Qualify

• 1982 World Cup – Qualified 5 of 31

• 1984 Euros – 24 of 32 – Failed to Qualify

• 1986 World Cup – Qualified 13 of 32

• 1988 Euros – 16 of 32 – Failed to Qualify

• 1990 World Cup – Qualified 12 of 32

• 1992 Euros – Qualified 5 – 33

• 1994 World Cup – 22 of 36 – Failed to Qualify

• 1996 Euros – Qualified 12 of 47

• 1998 World Cup – Qualified 10 of 49

• 2000 Euros – 20 of 50 – Failed to Qualify

• 2002 World Cup – 26 of 50 – Failed to Qualify

• 2004 Euros – 20 of 50 – Failed to Qualify

• 2006 World Cup - 24 of 52 – Failed to Qualify

• 2008 Euros – 16 of 50 – Failed to Qualify

• 2010 World Cup – 27 of 53 – Failed to Qualify

• 2012 Euros – 27 of 51 – Failed to Qualify

• 2014 World Cup – 34 of 53 – Failed to Qualify

• 2016 Euros – 28 of 53 – Failed to Qualify

• 2018 World Cup – 20 of 54 – Failed to Qualify

• 2020 Euros – Qualified 24 of 55

• 2022 World Cup – 16 of 55 – Failed to Qualify

• 2024 Euros – Qualified 14 of 55

• 2026 World Cup – Qualified 6 of 54

In these tournaments, the results statistics are:

• World Cup Qualifiers: p 142 – w 73 – d 31 – l 38 – for 232 – agnst 153 - 51% wins – 59% of available points won

• European Championship qualifiers: p 130 – w 62 – d 30 – l 38 – f 200 – agn 145 - 48% wins – 55% of available points won

• World Cup Final Tournament games: p 26 – w 5 – d 7 – l 14 – for 26 – agnst 45 - 19% wins – 28% of available points won

• European Championship Final Tournament games: p 12 – w 2 – d 3 – l7 – for 5 – agnst 18 – 17% wins – 25% of available points won

• Overall: p 310 – w 142 – d 71 – l 97 – for 463 – agnst 361 – 46% wins – 53% of available points won

So, while our performances are fairly consistent whether we are competing in the European Championships or the World Cup, we have tended to do better in the World event, where we have qualified for the finals in 10 of our 20 qualifying attempts – a 50% success rate. In Europe, we have only qualified in 4 of our 15 qualification attempts – a 27% success rate.

We are now in our eighth decade of truly competitive international football, playing nations from across Europe and the World, whereas from the 1870s until the 1940s we only played competitively against the other British Isles nations. These eight decades have seen us slump from being one of the top eight nations in Europe to now being a mid-table side. The results in each decade are:

• 1950s – average European ranking 8 – qualifying success 3 from 3 – 100%

• 1960s – average ranking 13 – qualifying success 0 from 3 – 0%

• 1970s – average ranking 12 – qualifying success 2 from 5 – 40%

• 1980s – average ranking 16 – qualifying success 2 from 5 – 40%

• 1990s – average ranking 12 – qualifying success 4 from 5 – 80%

• 2000s - average ranking 21 – qualifying success 0 from 5 – 0%

• 2010s – average ranking 25 – qualifying success 0 from 5 – 0%

• 2020s – average ranking 14 – qualifying success 3 from 4 – 75%

Worryingly however, when we do qualify for a final tournament, we have a tendancy to under-perform, as this table shows. It should be noted, our qualification process is always against other European nations, thus, in addition to how we perform overall in World Cup Finals, we have to compare our performances there against that of the other European nations which qualify; the results are:

• 1954 World Cup – Qualified 11 of 26 European entrants : finished 11th European - 15th of 16

• 1958 World Cup – Qualified 11 of 27 : finished 11th European - 14^th of 16

• 1974 World Cup – Qualified 8th of 27 : finished 7th European - 9^th of 16

• 1978 World Cup – Qualified 6th of 31 : finished 7^th European - 10^th of 16

• 1982 World Cup – Qualified 5th of 31 : finished 13^th European - 15^th of 24

• 1986 World Cup – Qualified 13th of 32 : finished 13^th European – 19 of 24

• 1990 World Cup – Qualified 12th of 32 : finished 13^th European – 18 of 24

• 1992 Euros – Qualified 5th of 33 : finished 5^th of 8

• 1996 Euros – Qualified 12^th of 47 : finished 12^th of 16

• 1998 World Cup – Qualified 10^th of 49 : finished 14^th of 15 – 26^th of 32

• 2020 Euros – Qualified 24^th of 55 : finished 22^nd of 24

• 2024 Euros – Qualified 14^th of 55 : finished 24^th of 24

• 2026 World Cup – Qualified 12^th of 55 – finished 15^th of 16 - 35^th of 48

Only twice, in 13 tournaments for which we have qualified for the finals – in the 1974 World Cup and at Euro 2020 have we bettered our qualifying performance when it matters. Is it perhaps a Scottish thing – that it is better to travel hopefully than to arrive? Whatever, we have still to break through the glass ceiling into the knock-out phase of the finals.

Since we joined the rest of the world in 1950, our median position in the European nations pecking order has been 15^th, while we have generally succeeded in qualifying for the finals in 45% of the two major international tournaments. Stevie Clarke, having led us to three of the last four tournaments, leaves us slightly ahead of the game, can his successor cheer-up the nation by taking us even higher?

Can whoever gets the job get us where we want to be, into the sharp end of either of the major tournaments? That is the big question and our great hope.

 

The Best Of Times - The Worst Of Times

THIS IS the best time to be Chief Football Writer for a mainstream Scottish media outlet, but 2026 brings additional joy. Instead of writing the normal midsummer pish - outrageous rumours about who The Ugly Glasgow Sisters are about to recruit, this close season, they have the added bonus of speculating on who is going to pick up the poisoned chalice, recetly discarded by Stevie Clarke, and become the new Scotland boss.

What joy: freedom to regurgitate any old rumours, carte blanche to make-up pish, a free pass to let your mind run free and all in the certainty, it's impossible to second guess the gigantic minds along the sixth floor corridor at Hampden – because, collectively, that lot haven't enough brain power to blow their bunnets off should they collectively explode.

Well, it will fill column centimetres, but, the elephant in the room will be left unmolested – because the truth is – it doesn't matter who gets the gig, under our warped system of football governance, Scotland will continue to be what we have been almost from the day International Football became truly thus – a lower mid-table nation on the periphery of the game at the top level.

You could make a reasonable argument for suggesting, up until the end of the 1920s, Scotland was one of the leading nations in the international game – mainly because, we ignored the rest of the world, being quite content to play against only England, Ireland and Wales.

Our record against the other three Home Nations as the four British associations were collectively known was a good one. At the end of the 1928-29 season, the record in the Home International Championship was:

• Scotland – 23 wins

• England – 20 wins

• Wales – 4 wins

• Ireland – 2 wins

Scotland was also in a dominant position in the head-to-head meetings with the other three, for instance, Alec Cheyne's iconic goal, direct from a corner, which won the 1929 meeting and allegedly gave birth to The Hampden Roar clinched Scotland's 24^th win over The Auld Enemy, who had only beaten The Jocks 15 times. Our lead over the Irish and Welsh was even-more emphatic.

Over the ten years up until World War II, we continued to hold sway, in the ten fixtures of the 1930s, we beat England by five wins to four with one draw.

After the war and with the Home Nations back in the bosum of FIFA – everything changed. England appointed Walter Winterbottom, a former Manchester United wing-half as their first Team Manager in 1946; and while he did not pick the team, under his tenure, England began to cut into our lead in head-to-head victories, while England became better than us internationally. The SFA clung-on to control, long-serving Secretary Sir George Graham insisted, with Rangers' George Young as Captain, we didn't need a Team Manager.

I have been assured by international team mates of his that Young was indeed the Scotland Team Manager in all but name. Including the games against Austria and Hungary, on the 1955 end of season European Tour, when he was injured and couldn't play but directed operations from the dug out, Young led the side in 50 internationals, the record in these games reads:

• 30 wins

• 7 draws

• 13 defeats

• 60% wins

• 65% available points won

• 1.95 points per game

That record should earn Young a place on the top shelf of any pantheon of Scottish managers.

When Rangers' club commitments meant Young wasn't available for the 1954 World Cup, the SFA Selection Committee appointed Huddersfield Town Manager Andy Beattie as part-time team boss, but, this was hardly a marriage made in Heaven, and, after losing their opening game, to Austria 0-1, Beattie had had enough of interference from the blazers and resigned, although he was prevailed upon to take the team in their second game – the notorious 0-7 loss to Uruguay which signalled us crashing out of the tournament.

Young came back to set Scotland en route to qualification for the 1958 World Cup Finals in Sweden; his thanks, to not be selected for what he had hoped would be his final international, against Spain, in The Bernabeau – which we lost 1-4.

The next decade saw Scotland stumble along. The Selectors continued to pick the team while various Team Managers prepared the squads, with varying degrees of success.

Beattie had a second go at the job, with no more success than first time round. Ian McColl managed a credible near 61% winning ration, but was sacked after back-to-back draws with England and European Champions Spain. Jock Stein was brought in to get us to the 1966 World Cup in England, but couldn't manage it, then after short spells with John Prentice and Malcolm Macdonald in-charge, in 1967, Bobby Brown was appointed as our first full-time Team Manager, and was also given the right to select the squads.

Apart from perhaps one or two of the backwoodsmen in SFA blazers, this switch to giving the Team Manager absolute authority, including over team selection was met with huge approval – by the fans, and in particular by the fans with typewriters from the mainstream media. However, in a definite case of being careful what you wish for, here are the relevant statistics:

Scotland's record when the Selectors picked the team and either the Captain or a Team Manager prepared the team:

• p 321 – w 177 – d 62 – l 82 – w 55% - points per game 1.85

Scotland's record when the team is selected and managed by a Team Manager:

• p 535 – w 227 – d 121 – l 187 - w 42% – ppg 1.5

Opinions naturally vary, but, it generally believed that the hardest part of coaching a team is team selection, getting the balance right so a team performs to its optimum potential.

I am not saying we go back to the bad old days when the SFA Selection Committee was all-powerful, so that a guy who was a butcher, baker or candlestick-maker from Monday to Friday could suddenly, by putting on his SFA blazer and sitting in a directors' box on a Saturday become the all-knowing judge of whether or not a particular player was international class.

That system may have got us some big wins, but, it also produced several One-Cap Wonders whose performances in the Scotland jersey had the Tartan Army, to a man, wondering – how did he manage to get picked for Scotland?

Maybe there is a case for something like the All Black's system in Rugby Union, where the Head Coach is a Selector, but, he is not the only guy picking the team and he has other qualified guys assisting him in answering the selection dilemmas.

Such a system might get us into the knock-out stages of the big competitions, but, I fear it will still not cure the blatant failings in our system of football governance.

 

Myths, Fantasies, Lies And Statistics - A Long Read

WE'RE SCOTLAND – we don't really do sporting reality and that's a fact. In the wake of our elimination from the 2026 FIFA World Cup at the group stage and the subsequent resignation of Stevie Clarke, I've been crunching the numbers over our history in the competition. My conclusion, we've been kidding ourselves on for the past 76 years.

In this post, which comes into the Long Read category, I looked at our record in each of the tournaments since our first entry, in 1950 and I fear, the fuck-up the Scottish Football Association's High Heid Yins perpetrated back then has been the template for every subsequent tournament.

For the benefit of those too-young to remember Thomlinson T-balls and Manfield Hotspur football boots, having totally ignored FIFA and its World Cup when the competition was held in 1930, 1934 and 1938, the four British Associations kissed and made up with FIFA in 1947, even arranging a now legendary game at Hampden and agreeing to enter the World Cup, to be held in Brazil in 1950.

An Own Goal 

The 1949-50 British International Championships would double-up as a World Cup qualifying competition with the top two nations travelling to Brazil in the summer of 1950. All reasonable enough, but, in a display of petulant arrogance which still defies explanation, the SFA Blazers decided, they would only go to Brazil as British Champions, before a 0-1 loss to England gave the men in white the title and meant Scotland has to be content with a short end-of-season European Tour, which brought a 2-2 draw with Portugal in Lisbon and a 1-0 win over France in Paris.

Still better than the fate that befell the English, who did go to Brazil, but managed to lose 0-1 to the USA and were home before their postcards.

For the 1954 tournament, in Switzerland, the Home Internationals again doubled-up as a qualifying group, Scotland again finished second behind England, but, this time, they did travel.

Mind you, the SFA still managed to mess-up big time.

The qualifying group results were: a 3-1 win over Northern Ireland in Belfast, before a 3-3 Hampden draw with Wales and a 2-4 loss to England at Hampden. In the Belfast win, East Fife's Charlie Fleming marked his solitary cap with two goals, not quite the same as club-mate Henry Morris, who, in his only Scotland appearance, against the Irish back in 1949 (in our first World Cup qualifier) scored a hat-trick.

In the Welsh game at Hampden, Willie Telfer, first called into the national squad back in 1949, finally got on the park for his only cap. He was never picked again after refusing to pull down the great John Charles as the Welsh star ran through to score a late equaliser for the visitors.

But, that wasn't the last piece of selection madness in 1954. Rangers had arranged a North American Tour for the end of the season, which meant Scotland regulars, Captain George Young, stand-in Captain Sammy Cox, centre-half Willie Woodburn and regular outside right Willie Waddell would be in North America rather than Switzerland.

Then, to add further embarrassment, the SFA ordered heavy winter-weight woolen shirts, for a tournament played in a high summer heatwave.

The SFA had to register 22 players with FIFA, but, they only took 13 of them to Switzerland, that group included only one goalkeeper – Aberdeen's Fred Martin. Back-up 'keeper Jock Anderson of Leicester City was back home in Barrhead for the duration of the tournament.

After the loss to England, the SFA Selectors, who picked the team, adopted their default position and dumped most of the team. Of the 20 players who had featured in the three qualifying games, only five: Bobby Evans, Doug Cowie, John-Archie Mackenzie, Allan Brown and Willie Ormond were on the flight to Switzerland and Evans, the most-capped player in the squad, wasn't used in either of the two games in the Alps.

The media hadn't come up with the Group of Death notion back then, but Scotland were paired with Austria, then one of the top nations in Europe and defending Champions Uruguay.

A 0-1 loss to the Austrians was not a bad result, but the subsequent 0-7 mauling at the hands of the South Americans was an unmitigated disaster. It didn't help that Andy Beattie, Scotland's first National Team Manager, who didn't get to pick the side, had had enough of the SFA Selectors' interference and resigned mid-tournament – it should have been red faces all round, except, the SFA High Heid Yins don't do embarrassment. Austria and Uruguay, who eliminated England, went on to finish third and fourth respectively.

Aye, in a foretaste of things to come – Scotland had got The Group of Death.

The Selectors again took charge, but, after Scotland saw off Spain and Switzerland to qualify for the 1958 tournament in Sweden, the SFA persuaded Manchester United Manager Matt Busby to manage the team at the tournament. Unfortunately, he was still recovering from the serious injuries he sustained in the Munich Air Crash in February, 1958, and team preparation had to be left to trainer Dawson Walker of Clyde.

After only taking 13 players to Switzerland, the SFA decided to take all 22 registered players to Sweden. They had been criticised for not taking enough players four years previously, this time, the press criticised them for taking too-many players. Still, a 1-1 draw with Yugoslavia was a promising opening.

Tommy Docherty and Archie Robertson hadn't played in that game, instead they were sent to spy on next opponents – Paraguay. The Doc, who would go on to have a spell as Scotland boss, always insisted, the SFA Selectors totally ignored the report he and Robertson submitted – Scotland lost 2-3 to the South Americans and now had to beat France, who had been the most-impressive of the nine European nations to qualify for Sweden, to remain alive. It was a task too far for the Scots, who again failed to get out of the group.

As you can see, a pattern is emerging; when it comes to the World Cup, if it can go wrong for Scotland, it will. Here, leaving aside the own goal of 1950, is a breakdown of our World Cup record:

• 1954 – Qualified 11 of 11 European nations – finished 15 of 16 finalists

• 1958 – Qualified 8 of 9 European nations – finished 14 of 16 finalists

• 1962 – Did not qualify – finished 12 of 28 European entrants

• 1966 – Did not qualify – finished 14 of 29 European entrants

• 1970 – Did not qualify – finished 12 of 29 European entrants

• 1974 – Qualified 6 of 8 European nations – finished 9 of 16 finalists

• 1978 – Qualified 6 of 9 European nations – finished 11 of 16 finalists

  1982 – Qualified 5 of 13 European nations – finished 15 of 24 finalists

• 1986 – Qualified 13 of 13 European nations – finished 20 of 24 finalists

• 1990 – Qualified 12 of 13 European nations – finished 18 of 24 finalists

• 1994 – Did not qualify – finished 22 of 36 European entrants

• 1998 – Qualified 10 of 14 European nations – finished 27 of 32 finalists

• 2002 – Did not qualify – finished 26 of 50 European entrants

• 2006 – Did not qualify – finished 24 of 52 European entrants

• 2010 – Did not qualify – finished 27 of 53 European entrants

• 2014 – Did not qualify – finished 34 of 53 European entrants

• 2018 – Did not qualify – finished 20 of 54 European entrants

• 2022 – Did not qualify – finished 16 of 55 European entrants

• 2026 – Qualified 12 of 18 European nations – finished 35 of 48 finalists

Over these 76 years and 20 World Cups, we have only once, in 1982, qualified as one of the top European qualifiers. In the other nine successful qualifying campaigns (including 1950), we have either got in as a second-placed nation, or as one of the least-impressive group winners.

OK, today the Tartan Army styles itself as the game's ultimate party animals, Scotland games are party central, but, up until reality set in over the first quarter of the 21^st century, we definitely had delusions of adequacy, a failing still to an extent evident in our support – including our Fans with lap tops.

Our perennial weakness as a footballing nation is our inability to score goals. Might this be a mental thing? As evidence of this, I submit the legendary story of the 1967 Wembley Wizards' pre-game planning. The Scottish squad, to a man, did not rate the English World Champions they would be facing; legend has it, pre-game planning focused on how they would approach the game.

Problems Finding The Net 

Denis Law, scarred by the memory of losing 3-9 in 1961 wanted Scotland to put as many goals as possible on the Saxons, but, he was over-ruled by a combination of Jim Baxter and Billy Bremner, who allegedly wanted to: “humiliate them 1-0.”

The reality was, Scotland's win was 3-2 going on 6-2, but, if you look today at the BBC highlights edit, you might think Scotland were fortunate to win. But, that's our way – win with a bit of swagger. Never mind piling on the goals.

A look at our goals for and against for our 20 World Cup qualifying campaigns demonstrates where our inability to put the ball in the net has handicapped us:

• 1950 – average goals scored per game against goals conceded: 6.33 – 1 Q

• 1954 – 2.66 – 2.66 Q

• 1958 – 2.5 – 2.25 Q

• 1962 – 2.4 – 2.2 DNQ

• 1966 – 2.3 – 1.6 DNQ

• 1970 – 3 – 1 DNQ

• 1974 – 2 – 0.75 Q

• 1978 – 2.5 – 0.75 Q

• 1982 – 1.12 – 0.5 Q

• 1986 – 1.25 – 0.5 Q

• 1990 – 1.5 – 1.5 Q

• 1994 – 1.4 – 1.3 DNQ

• 1998 – 1.5 – 0.3 Q

• 2002 – 1.5 – 0.75 DNQ

• 2006 – 0.9 – 0.7 DNQ

• 2010 – 1.325 – 1.25 DNQ

• 2014 – 1.2 – 1.1 DNQ

• 2018 – 1.7 – 1.2 DNQ

• 2022 – 1.63 – 0.9 DNQ

• 2026 – 2.16 – 1.16

The 1950 average is somewhat skewed by that big 8-2 win in Belfast, while the 1970 figure is also skewed by the 13 times we scored in two goal feasts against Cyprus. However, until the 2026 campaign, we hadn't averaged better than just over a goal a game in almost 50 years of qualifying campaigns.

In attempting to qualify for World Cup Finals, we have played 142 games, over which we average 1.633 goals per game scored – 1.077 gpg conceded.

Our record in the Big Show, on the nine occasions we turned-up is as follows:

• 1954 – 0 goals scored – 8 conceded: average 0-4

• 1958 – 3 goals scored – 6 conceded: average 1 – 2

• 1974 – 3 goals scored – 1 goal conceded: average 1 – 0.33

• 1978 – 5 goals scored – 6 goals conceded: average 1.66 – 2

• 1982 – 8 goals scored – 8 goals conceded: average 2.66 – 2.66

• 1986 – 1 goal scored – 3 goals conceded: average 0.33 – 1

• 1990 – 2 goals scored – 3 goals conceded: average 0.66 – 1

• 1998 – 2 goals scored – 6 goals conceded: average 0.66 – 2

• 2026 – 1 goal scored – 4 goals conceded: average 0.33 – 1.33

Overall our record in finals tournament is:

• 9 tournaments – 26 goals scored – 45 goals conceded: average goals per game: 1 – 1.73

Frustratingly, we haven't scored a goal per game in each of our last four tilts at the final tournaments, it's now 44 years since we bettered that benchmark, and the 1982 figures have undoubtedly been helped by sticking 5 goals on New Zealand in our opening game.

In all, both qualifiers and final tournament games, we have played 168 World Cup games, in which we have scored 258 goals – an average of 1.5 goals per game. We have conceded 198 goals in these matches, an average of 1.18 gpg.

A total of 166 players have scored for Scotland in World Cup games, either qualifiers or final tournament matches; 51 of these players have scored more than one World Cup goal and the top ten (actually 11) Scottish World Cup goalscorers are;

• Maurice Johnston – 9 goals

• Kevin Gallacher – 9 goals

• Kenny Dalglish – 7 goals

• Joe Jordan – 7 goals

• Jackie Mudie – 6 goals

• Denis Law – 5 goals

• Ally McCoist – 5 goals

• Robert Snodgrass – 5 goals

• John McGinn – 5 goals

• Che Adams – 5 goals

• Lynden Dykes – 5 goals

Our 26 goals in Finals tournaments have been shared amongst 20 players, of whom 16 have scored only one final tournament goal. The players who have scored more than once for Scotland in the Big Show are:

• Joe Jordan – 4 goals

• Kenny Dalglish – 2 goals

• Archie Gemmill - 2 goals (in one game)

• John Wark – 2 goals (in one game)

• Jimmy Murray, Jackie Mudie, Bobby Collins, Sammy Baird (1958), Peter Lorimer (1974), John Robertson, Stevie Archibald, David Narey, Graeme Souness (1982), Gordon Strachan (1986), Stuart McCall, Maurice Johnston (1990), John Collins, Craig Burley (1998) and John McGinn (2026) are the single goal scorers.

When it comes to consistently scoring – that goals per game ratio – you obviously get regular outliers. For instance, his hat-trick in his only international, that first-ever World Cup qualifier back in 1949, makes East Fife's Henry Morris, statistically our top marksman, with a 3-00 goals per game average; just ahead of his club-mate, Charlie Fleming, who bagged a brace in his only international in 1954 and there are anomalies too when we look at the scorers of our 25 goals in finals (I discount the own goal in the Iran game in 1978).

Here the averages read, in descending order:

1. 1.00 gpg - Sammy Baird (Rangers) – (1 game, 1 goal, 1958)

2. 0.66 gpg - Archie Gemmill (Nottingham Forest) – (3 games, 2 goals 1978) : John Wark (Ipswich Town) – (3 games, 2 goals 1982)

3. 0.57 gpg - Joe Jordan (Leeds United, Manchester United, AC Milan) (7 games, 4 goals 1974, 1978, 1982)

4. 0.5 gpg - Jimmy Murray (Heart of Midlothian) – (2 games, 1 goal, 1958) : David Narey (Dundee United) – (2 games, 1 goal 1982)

5. 0.33 gpg - Jackie Mudie (Blackpool) – (3 games, 1 goal 1958) : Bobby Collins (Celtic) – (3 games, 1 goal 1958) : Peter Lorimer – (Leeds United) - (3 games, 1 goal 1974) : Stuart McCall (Rangers) – (3 games, 1 goal 1990) : Maurice Johnston (Rangers) – (3 games, 1 goal 1990) : Craig Burley (Celtic) – (3 games, 1 goal 1990) : John McGinn (Aston Villa) – (3 games, 1 goal 2026)

6. 0.25 gpg – Kenny Dalglish (Celtic, Liverpool) – (8 games, 2 goals 1974, 1978, 1982) : Steve Archibald (Tottenham Hotspur, Barcelona) – (1 goal, 4 games 1982, 1986) : John Collins (Hibernian, Monaco) – (1 goal, 4 games 1990, 1998)

7. 0.17 gpg Graeme Souness (Liverpool, Rangers) – (1 goal, 6 games 1978, 1982, 1986) : Gordon Strachan (Aberdeen, Manchester United) (1 goal, 6 games 1982, 1986)

For the purposes of this piece, I have categorised Kenny Dalglish as a midfielder rather than a striker, some might argue about this, however. Any way, the five strikers in my list: Messrs Jordan, Mudie, Lorimer, Johnston and Archibald scored goals at a median average of 0.4 goals per game – just below the 0.5 benchmark for a top-class international striker.

The 12 midfielders on the list posted a median average of 0.35 goals per game, which is around the expected average for an international-class midfielder. All I can say about the one Scottish goal scored by a defender in a World Cup finals game: David Narey's “toe poke” against Brazil in 1982 is – great strike as it was, as was noted at the time – it was a clear case of poking a slumbering bear with a stick.

My conclusions – well, given our midfielders score at almost the same level as our strikers, perhaps, in a Scottish International context, Craig Levein's 4-6-0 formation wasn't stupid.