The Slippery Slope

MUCH wailing and gnashing of teeth has followed Hearts' 0-0 draw at Pittodrie on Saturday, an outcome which meant that the Jam Tarts had missed a chance of, however temporarily, splitting the Old Firm at the top of the SPL table.

The club's failure to take their chance of some sort of glory is disappointing for the Gorgie club's fans, but, given the way "Grandpa Broon" and Archie Knox, or "Jack and Victor" as the still game veteran duo have been dubbed in some quarters have turned things around in the Granite City, emerging unbeaten from a trip to Pittodrie is no bad thing for the visiting side.

But, one thing about the match which has gone largely uncommented-upon was the attendance. When the two clubs which ought to be disputing the right to be considered "The Third Force" in Scotland cannot even half-fill the ground for a meeting, something is awry with the SPL.

OK, after the disastrous McGhee regime, for all the sunshine which Craigie and Erchie have brought to Aberdeen, the club is still languishing in the wrong half of the table. There have been some blips along the Brown/Knox route map back to the top three (or four), even the top six, factors which might have helped keep the attnedance down.

Hearts might not yet be carrying the travelling support they might, which is another factor, but, just over 9000 is a depressingly low turn-out for this fixture.

There is a general acceptance that things in Scottish fitba have to change, but, as yet I have yet to see a proposal for change which is sufficiently radical to avoid the game falling into previous traps.

We need new ideas, we need new energy, we need fresh leadership - from where might it come.

In praise of haun-knitted fitba

THE Tartan Army has its critics - particularly amongst the ranks of my media colleagues in "the Lap Top Loyal", or as I prefer to call them "the A Team": those put-upon souls, the lead football writers of our national newspapers, with their soul-destroying round of - Murray Park, Lennoxtown then Hampden Park for press conferences, with weekends spent chronicling the games involving the Old Firm and just the occasional midweek trip to Europe with the big two or Scotland for light relief.

Theirs is indeed, a long, hard slog; and as the bean counters' influence grows ever-greater within newspaper and broadcasting back offices, they can no longer flex their imagination with outlandish expenses claims. Gone are the days when the late, great Ian "Dan" Archer could blighly take the hovercraft from Dover to Calais to enjoy a particularly fine French lunch, whilst supposedly covering the Open Golf at Royal St George's.

Then, there is the sheer tedium of covering the SPL. For every brief potential Camelot moment from Hearts or Dundee United or Aberdeen downing one or other to the Big Two, there will be a crushing riposte as the twin axis of evil grinds it metaphorical jackboot down on the throat of Scottish football.

No wonder we often yearn for a Scottish game without the tedium of the same two clubs winning everything. No wonder the ranks of the Tartan Army are awash with provincials who would never see foreign cuisine (other than Indian, Chinese or the odd pizza) with their clubs.

What a paradise it would be, if THEY would simply bugger-off and join the rest of the greedy, money-obsessed clubs in the English Premiership.

Well there is such a paradise, it's called the SFL.

OK, the football is sometimes crap, the surroundings are at best Edwardian, but more-likely to recall the dark satanic mills of Victorian times, but it's competitive.

You are far more likely to see upsets and shocks in the three SFL divisions than in the SPL. The SFL clubs don't go in for badge-kissing foreign mercenaries; and while many of the "top" players in the SFL failed with the Old Firm or the usual also-rans in the SPL; and at the lower level many of the players are on a Saturday, augmenting the meagre wages they earn Monday to Friday: because, by paying too-much attention to football and not enough to education while at school, they under-achieved in life, just as in football.

Yes, they lack flair and skill - but they try, and God loves a trier.

The SFL may be crap, but it's Scottish crap and long may it continue. Sure there are failings, many of the directors are simply glorified fans, more concerned with nanging-on in senior football than driving the game forward. But, many of the genuine greats of Scottish football emerged from these wee clubs - John White at Alloa, Wembley Wizards Jimmy McMullan and Alex James at Partick Thistle and Raith Rovers, Billy Steel and Jimmy Cowan from Morton - umpteen Rangers greats from Airdrie.

If the SPL is a league of supermarkets - 24-hour mega-stores in East and South West Glasgow, large branches elsewhere - there are still good experiences to be enjoyed in the corner shops of the SFL. At least the element of surprise still lurks there - the same two clubs don't win everything.

Surprise Surprise

THE King is dying - long live the King, is probably the best response to confirmation that Ally McCoist will indeed succeed Walter (the man with no surname) at the end of the season.

And why not? Succession from within is, after all, a long-standing Rangers' tradition. William Wilton, the first Rangers' manager, died in post after a sailing accident, to be succeeded by trainer Bill Struth. Struth probably over-stayed his shelf-life and left no heir apparent, far less an heir presumptive; however, with George Young, the man who should have succeeded him deemed too-young, Scot Symon, probably the most-successful ex-Ranger then managing, was a safe and as it turned-out, good choice as successor.

Symon's number two, Davie White, like Struth before him plucked from Clyde, was appointed too-soon and in haste, as the board panicked in the face of Celtic's success under Jock Stein, so it's hardly surprising it quickly went pear-shaped and Willie Waddell had to come in and do a salvage job.

Waddell was succeeded by his number two, Jock Wallace - who in his turn didn't have a number two with the necessary charisma, so whereas Young missed his chance, John Greig was promoted too-soon from the dressing room, with Wallace having to come back to stabilise things.

Then came the Souness revolution - and when he committed professional suicide by returning to Liverpool, appointing trusted assistant Walter Smith was a no-brainer.

Not making nine-in-a-row into ten-in-a-row saw Smith leave, whereupon, mirroring the recruitment policy he employed when he ran MIM, Scotland's most-successful basketball team, Sir David Murray embarked on a policy of bringing-in outside coaches, with greater or lesser degrees of success, before the man by now known simply as "Walter", like Waddell and Wallace before him, was brought back to stabilise a listing if not sinking ship.

Now, as "Walter" prepares to ride off into the sunset, SuperAlly girds his loins to take up the big job. One cannot help thinking that, like past Ibrox Legends Young and Greig, his timing aint what it might have been.

But, in his defence, he is taking over a national institution and running institutions is maybe best left to someone who knows intimately how that institution works.

This therefore is the fifth time in a 91 years that the heir presumptive has ascended the throne and in the previous four occasions, only White taking over from Symon might be deemed a flop. Unfortunately for White, he was asked, with relatively little experience, to go head-to-head with one of the five greatest managers in Scottish football history (arguably THE greatest), with an ageing side.

McCoist too will have some big decisions to make as regards his squad when he takes over, but, fortunately for him, right now Neil Lennon is no Jock Stein; while, unlike White, McCoist has very-able lieutenants in the shape of the somewhat under-rated "Koj", Kenny McDowall and Ian Durrant. He also has some highly-promising young players emerging from Murray Park. BUT, the gap between being a promising boy and an established Rangers man is wide and there is that subtle difference of expectation: Celtic's players are "the Bhoys", Rangers' players are expected to be Rangers' men.

Modern football being money-obsessed, much will be made of Rangers' current poverty. Let's be clear on this: Rangers are NOT a poor club; even under the restraints of Scotland's limited appeal to the TV money men, the fact we are small beer in European terms, Rangers are a big club.

This big club, however, has been woefully mis-managed of late. The recruitment policy appears flawed, relatively poor players have been over-paid and over-rated, Smith's apparent mis-trust of young players has seen the likes of Charlie Adam and Chris Burke and to a lesser extent, Ross McCormack, depart.

A compliant media, sometimes referred to as 'the Lap Top Loyal' has been loathe to criticise "Walter", while the alleged interference of the club's bankers has been a handly tool with which to divert attention from what some of us see as internal failings.

Ally faces a huge task in getting Rangers back to where the majority of the club's fans want their institution to be. "We are the people" is more than a slogan to many of the season ticket holders. They believe they have an almost divine right to rule Scottish football.

Should "Walter" sign off with at least one trophy, it may buy Ally time to stamp his own authority on the club. One trophy this season will certainly guarantee him time - he would probably be allowed a barren season in 2011-2012. However, should be fail to land silverware then, he will be under extreme pressure to deliver in 2012-2013.

However, McCoist has overcome difficulties before. In the early years of his playing career, after joining Rangers from Sunderland, he was dubbed "Alice" McCoist and suffered his share of abuse from the fans; he had spells out-of-favour under Souness, when he was dubbed "The Judge" because he spent so long on the bench; but, he persevered and ultimately became Rangers all-time top scorer and most-capped Scottish internationalist.

He is considered, by some people, to be "the Greatest Living Ranger" - if he can deliver the level of success the supporters demand - he will have earned that title.

One thing is certain - it's going to get very interesting down Edmiston Drive way come the end of the season.

Ayebeenism strikes again

I LIKED much of what I read when I first read Part II of Henry McLeish's review of Scottish football - but, even as I read it I came to the conclusion that Scottish football would never buy it.

Since Henry's mammoth work thumped down on the desks of the Hampden "blazers", it has all gone quiet, while their tiny minds attempt to take it all in. Nobody from within the Hampden corridors of power and influence has yet come out in the media with an opinion, but, at the end of last week, we learned that the view from the SFL is: "We don't like it, we don't want and we urnae hivin it".

Well, I cannot say I'm surprised, in particular that the majority of the SFL clubs - Divisions II and III have come out against regionalisation.

For years these stumblebums have had but one goal, to hang on to their "Senior" status, in spite of the fact that in comparison with the best of the Junior clubs, the "Senior" ones are more-junior in their outlook.

These clubs are parasites, living-off the crumbs from the rich man's table, praying for their own winning lottery ticket - a cup draw against either half of the Old Firm, thereby guaranteeing one big pay day which will keep the club going for a wee bit longer.

If they were to re-define themselves as "community" clubs, give local boys a chance, support football in their area more, then maybe they could find a meaningful and successful role in 21st century football. But that would call for a sea change in attitude within their board rooms, and I don't see that happening.

Scottish football is almost a microcosm of pre Union of the Crowns Scotland - a cold, dark, nasty, backward place, full of near-neighbours who hate each other, of centuries-old death fueds, ruled by an elite who may be poor, but think themselves better than those beneath them and are forever looking at problems through the vehicle of "What's in it for us".

There mantra has always been - ye canna change, it's aye been din this wey.

We're awe doomed, ah tell ye - doomed.

Here We Go Again

WE have been lone voices crying in the wilderness for yonks now; we being the esteemed Doug Gillon of the Herald and me.

We have repeatedly warned that the ongoing row over the 2012 Olympic football team offers a very real threat to British football - but nobody is listening.

This week, the Herald ran a piece suggesting the row is only just warming up, with around 500 days to go until the Olympic tournament kicks off. But of course, this was a wee piece compared to the space accorded a pretty poor 1-1 Europa League draw between Rangers and Sporting Lisbon, or the fall-out after Genaro Gattuso pittin the heid oan Joe Jordan.

Nobody comes out of the ongoing Olympics row well: the British Olympic Committee, the FA, the three "Celtic" FAs, FIFA, various politicians of whatever hue, our football press.

Basically, the damage was done back in 1905, when the IFA, SFA and FAW allowed the (English) FA to take football's seat on the BOA. Ever since, it's been England's ball as far as Olympic football in this country is concerned. Yes, back in the amateur days, such was Queen's Park's status among the play-for-fun brigade that Scotland was represented, but, after the FA abolished the distinction between amateur and professional players in the mid-seventies, until London won the games, football was a non-sport to the BOA.

Once football came back into play post London winning the games, the FA either through arrogance or lack of thought, missed a huge opportunity to unite the game in this country behind a genuine Team GB playing at the games.

Alone of all the Olympic sports - even curling, which is only played in Scotland - football didn't form a single all-British Football Association to represent the game at Olympic level. By this omission, they largely caused this present row.

Had their been a BOFA, there would have been a single, unified British approach to the 2012 team. Hopefully, the decision would have been taken, not to field a team, but, even if the decision had been to play - surely a format which satisfied everyone AND clarified the independence of the four Home Associations within FIFA would have been reached.

As it is, IF even a single Scottish, Northern Irish or Welsh player, (male or female), breaks ranks and joins the proposed all-English Olympic squad, the independence of the FA, IFA, SFA and FAW within FIFA will come under concentrated attack from Jack Warner and the usual suspects.

The English don't care, this uncaring attitude is particularly evident in London. It's their Olympics - they want football teams in both the men's and women's competitions and they don't give a damn that this desire is not matched in Belfast, Glasgow and Cardiff.

The BOA officials are like Disney executives, notorious for not seeing the bigger picture because they only think of their product. They want a BRITISH team, rather than an English one dressed up in a British strip which will still end up as an England one, but with a single BOA lion rather than three on the badge - and they will move heaven and earth for this to come about.

The FA don't care, it's their show and to hell with the provincials in Belfast, Glasgow and Cardiff. In any case, as far as they are concerned, should Warner and Co have their way and the four Home Associations within FIFA become one - well that one will have to be the FA and, because England is the biggest of the four UK nations, they will run it.

The idea that, should the unthinkable happen and Warner and Co prevail, a whole new UKFA will have to be formed from scratch, has never struck them. Were that to happen, given their pull within the European Clubs Association, the Old Firm would probably be included in the new UK Premier League which would follow, but the other Scottish clubs, like the clubs in the Welsh and Irish Leagues, would be cast out to survive as best they could.

The English know, after the 2018 bidding debacle, that Warner and Co, in fact, the vast majority of people within FIFA cannot be trusted. Are the SFA and their friends in the IFA and FAW absolutely positive that the FA can be trusted to withstand the pressure from the BOA to include Scots, Northern Irish and Welsh players in the 2012 squads - and select all-English squads.

Or will enough pressure be applied to cause one or two individuals to put the kudos of being an Olympian before the long-term interests of football in the Celtic fringes of greater England?

Forward, though ah canna see - ah guess and fear.

Do We Need To Play Brazil?

I SUPPOSE I am a football romantic. Ever since I saw that Pele goal in the 1958 World Cup Final - the one where he lifted the ball over a couple of defenders before volleying home, I've been hooked on the Samba Boys.

Of course, there has been the occasional let down, just how we didn't beat them in 1974 remains a mystery. That said we faced a team unworthy of the famous gold and blue strips. So, I am excited about the forthcoming friendly at the Emirates.

BUT, and I'm so sorry there has to be a but: is it the right game for Scotland, now?

We've been down in the grubber for a year or two now, however, we are now starting to get more players playing in the EPL, which has to be the league of choice to play in for our ambitious players. Craig Levein seems to be building a side capable of doing better when it comes to the big two tournaments. These developments are encouraging, but the Scotland A XI remains a work in progress.

Losing to Brazil will not effect our UEFA co-efficient (which only takes cognisance of competitive internationals), but will effect our FIFA one (whereby every international, friendlies and all count). If we win, good, but, let's be blunt, such a result is unlikely.

Better I feel to look for games against European countries which we can take-on with a reasonable chance of beating. Planning for internationals other than competitive qualifiers has to be better thought-out than in the past.

It's a wee bit like climbing up the squash ladder at your local club - you look up, decide which of the higher-rated teams you reckon you can beat, then do so. Thus, you climb the ladder until you get where you want to be, then it's up to you to stay there.

We ought to be planning and mounting a friendlies campaign which will get us high-enough ranked in Europe to put us into a higher pot come the draw for the next World Cup. Doing well in the Carling Nations Cup will also help in this, but will also help our UEFA co-efficient, since these are competitive games, the only ones which count in Syon.

Aye, Brazil v Scotland is an exciting thought, but from a pragmatic point of view, we should be playing someone else.