The King Over The Water Must Be Eliminated

THE Hanoverians are being bigged-up by the BBC these days - I suspect because they are a British institution, celebrating some 300-years of history and therefore a safe antidote to the nationalistic tencancies which some of we "Sweaties" are currently showing.

 

Now these 18th century Germans had a wee problem - the "King over the water" to whom the Stewart disciples, the Jacobites, owed allegiance and who they wanted to see in charge.

 

Fast-forward to 2014 and we have a bunch of rebellious "Sweaties", known by the popular title of "Ra Peepul" are rebelling against their rulers, and demanding the reinstatement of their King over the water - the South African-based David of that ilk.

 

We can be sure there will be far fewer lives extinguished, but, I fear, the ruling classes - the current Rangers board, may have to thole the unrest caused by their would-be King over the water for as long as the Hanoverians were bothered by the Jacobites back in the day. And remember, German Geordie came to the throne of the United Kingdom in 1707, the Jacobite threat wasn't finally ended until Culloden, in 1746.

 

Thankfully, I don't see Dave King still being around after 30-plus years of strife, come to that, while there might still be a Rangers around for the 300th anniversary of Culloden, it might not be the current incarnation.

 

I made one of my infrequent forays into football reporting yesterday, to help out an old mate now busy sticking his finger in the holes in his dyke - a one-time highly-influential sports desk, now bearing a strong resemblance to the Irish Rover - the measles have broken out, the ship has lost its way in a fog and the whole of the crew is reduced down to two, himself and the captain's old dog - with rocks coming up fast on the starboard bow!!

 

The chat among the tabloid hacks yesterday was all about what was going-on at the Big Hoose, and the gut feeling of a couple of the more-experienced hands was that administration just might come-up this week.

 

For the current Rangers to follow the 1872 model into administration and maybe into liquidation might well bring about the Armageddon which we didn't get last time around - well, could NHS Scotland cope with all those Celtic fans laughing themselves to death, for a start? But, it could happen.

 

We have Graham Wallace being more or less impeached by his own side; we have the withholding of season ticket money; poor old Andy Cameron cannot get a comedy gig - the quips of the fans being funnier than his material; the internet might well implode with all the invective flying around from the cyber warriors. Things are serious.

 

It could all be ended in one fell swoop, I suggest.

 

If I was Graham Wallace, I'd be making a couple of telephone calls, to set-up a meeting with El Presidente Ogilvie, Prime Minister Regan and His Majesty King Peter the First of Kerrydale Street. Then, at that meeting, I would make damned sure these three presented a united front and made it very clear to Ra Peepul - there is no way Dave King can have anything to do with running Rangers, that he is personna no gratia in Scottish football, on account of his past misdeeds during the Murray and Whyte years.

 

That would still leave the guys running Rangers with the problem of raising the money for their club to survive, but, at least, the sideshow would have been closed down. King has brought nothing tangible to the table, he has been a major distraction - if Rangers are to overcome their current travails and have a future, he MUST be silenced and eliminated from the game.

They're All Doomed - Doomed Ah Tell Ye

BACK when the old Rangers first went into administration, I reckoned the turmoil would run and run. My belief in this hardened when liquidation followed, and I stand by my assertion back then, it would have been better had the SFA played real hard ball and forced the new Rangers to begin life in Central League, Division Two, of the West of Scotland Region of the SJFA - pending a sorting-out of events around the defunct club.

 

The scenario I envisaged would have enabled new Rangers to transfer to the new Lowland League from the start of this current season, then be able, in time, and good management willing, to re-claim old Rangers' place in the top flight.

 

But, this didn't happen. Yes, the body of the kirk in Scottish football wanted Rangers punished for perceived past misdeeds (real and imagined). But, they didn't want - for all the past problems they have caused them - to perhaps drive Ra Peepul away. Yes, the Rangers support might, as my late mentor and guide Ian "Dan" Archer, so-memorably described them, be a constant embarrassment to Scottish football, but, there are a lot of them out there and they bring a great deal of money into the game.

 

So, Rangers had to be punished, but, not sufficiently hard to really hurt them.

 

The outcome of this is the current situation. Because, new Rangers, who only want to be new Rangers when it suits them, but, are also determined to claim those 140-plus years of history and tradition. And that includes the tradition of refusing to live within their means, to spend, spend, spend to an extent which would surely, were she still alive, have embarrassed that late Yorkshire lady Mrs Nicholson, the pools winner who brought spend, spend spend into the everyday lexicon.

 

There is that other timeless aphorism about those who fail to learn from their mistakes are certain to keep repeating them - remind you of any football club based on Edmiston Drive.

 

Graham Wallace's assessment of the situation ought to be praised - although, not completely, I see there is a continuing intention to keep buying players. This, like a pile-up in a multi-storey car park, is wrong on so many levels.

 

Rangers are in deep doo-dah. For all Mr Wallace's claims to the contrary, I can see a second bunch of administrators climbing the marble staircase, and, this time, after the shambles of Dumb and Dumber, hopefully the appointed firm is able to finally knock heads together, because, Scottish football needs checks and balances and, a strong Rangers is the only means I can see of keeping Celtic in check. But, getting a strong Rangers back there, from the current position, will be damned difficult - if not impossible.

 

Clearly, the fan-base have little or no faith in the current men at the top. They can have little of no faith either in Dave King. Here, if I were the current Rangers board, I would be making a: "put-up or shut-up" ultimatum to Mr King.

 

First thing - have a word with Messrs Ogilvie, Lawwell and Regan at Hampden. Establish, once and for all, IF Mr King would be deemed a suitable person to have a say in the running of the club. I think the answer here would be: "No way - he's a convicted criminal, convicted of fraud. He was a director of the failed Rangers, he doesn't get near the new Rangers.

 

If that's the answer they get - he can be told: "Sut-up. Go Away. You are an irrelevance".

 

However, and remember, this is Scottish football we are speaking about - if the Rangers board is told: "Yes, Mr King is a fine and honourable business-man without a stain on his character, you can bring him on board; then, the Rangers board should tell him: "OK, put-up or shut-up; for £30 million, to be transferred to the club within a month, you can come on the board".

 

Either way, the King problem is solved and the club can move forward.

 

Should he, as I suspect would happen, King suddenly decide life in South Africa would be simpler, then, the board can move ahead, but, to do so,they will have to accept a totally new, un-Rangers-like way of doing things - living within their means, putting their faith in thoroughly researched, recruited and trained young Scottish players; being honest with the fans, telling them, the road will be long and rocky, but, we will get there and by a determination to truly eat humble pie, get it right and get back.

But, somehow, I don't see this happening. I fear, Rangers Mark II are a proper basket case. Sadly, I feel, the time is ripe to put this sgtruggling dinosaur out of its misery.

Sandy Jardine - One Of The Best

THESE are hard times for "Rangers Men" - and women. There is a very-real chance that the club they love - even when, as is the present case, the XI on the field are reduced to the level of a tribute act - could suffer a second entry into administration, if not a second liquidation.

So, to have Sandy Jardine die yesterday was a case of catastrophy on top of disaster. Sandy was a real Rangers Man, a club legend. He fought a very brave and public battle against cancer. He tried to educate Charles Green as to the enormity of the club he had taken-on and about what was expected of him. Yes, with that wonderful thing, hindsight, Sandy probably made mistakes - just as Rangers did all those years ago, when they released him to enjoy an Indian Summer at Hearts.

But, speaking as one who knew him for over 50 years, Sandy Jardine was one of the good guys. His end came far too early. But, he is at peace now - shame the same cannot be said about those squablling over what remains of the Famous Glasgow Rangers.

SPEAKING of which. Who has got the bigger task in his hands, Graham Wallace at Rangers of his opposite number at Manchester United?

On reflection, probably Wallace. All Manchester United need is a trophy, and a return to the top four in England. If they spend enough, not even too-wisely, they will achieve the latter reuirement, and probably the former too, simples.

Wallace needs to finally, after nearly 30-years of excess, to bring some responsibility and pattern to Rangers spending, while at the same time, putting in place a means of satisfying the entitlement culture of the fans.

Let's not kid ourselves here; getting from the second tier to the top tier in any sporting league system is always the hardest upward step - though not perhaps as difficult as remaining in the top flight once you get there.

Next season, we could have the situation whereby four of the traditional "Big Six" Scottish clubs are battling for the single automatic place out of the Championship into the Premiership. Rangers will be there, as will Hearts, while I would not bet against Hibs and Dundee also being in that second tier - whch would make for one helluva competitive division.

At one time, post-Craig Whyte, when it became obvious Rangers would have to be re-born in the bottom tier, I had visions of a new Rangers, chastened, anxious to please, well-run, perhaps rising to just below the top tier, then, appalled at the way the Celtic-led Premiership had gone, saying: "No thanks" to the SPL and leading a new, fairer Scottish League to a brighter tomorrow.

Sadly, new Rangers became hostage to the spivs and chancers, the SPL bought-out the Scottish League and, I am afraid, we will be stuck with the same-old, same-old, for years to come.

The disease is spreading too; we wait to find-out if Killie have been playing fast and loose with the regulations, with allegations of signatures being forged on signing documents.

Scottish Football really is in a mess.

Fitba - Fuckin' Hell (As SAF acutually said)

AT TIMES like these, yer average blogger feels - why bother. It's the same old, same old. The league has been won, and the only interest is in trying to work out if Hibs really are trying to join Hearts in the Championship, which promises to be the league to be in next season.

 

That eternal soap opera Edmiston Drive rolls on, getting sillier by the week, as is reflected in the on-line forums. I used to enjoy reading the Rumour Mill in The Scotsman on a daily basis, but it is now simply a reserve for the more-extreme forms of internet trolls, spouting the same old guff they have spouted since about the time SDM sold Real Rangers to the Motherwell Con Man.

 

Nothing to speak about either in the nominations for the SPFA Player of the Year, which has Big Boydie cast as "Token Hun" in a cast list of otherwise Celtic players. That list is more I think a case of the voting constituency seemingly setting-out to confirm, footballers DO wear their IQs on their backs.

 

It looks as if Hearts will be "saved", but, a long haul back awaits them.

 

Then, along came the less than bombshell news that the SPFL was trying to hijack control of the SFA. I must admit this surprised me, I thought they already did run the show.

 

First things first. Take a look along the M8 to Murrayfield, where the tiny professional arm of the game: covering Glasgow Warriors, Edinburgh Rugby and the national squads far exceeds in influence, time taken-up by the paid officials, interest in the subject from the same officials, the much-larger constituency of the clubs.

 

I would not try to say we are a nation brimming with star rugby players, but, the club game is a lot healthier than the professional one in that sport.

 

In football, the grass-roots game is thriving, kids still want to play football, but, to allow the people who have presided over Scotland's fall from grace since 1998 - and, let's be honest, even before then - to fully run football here, is a recipe for even greater disaster.

 

I do like the way, however, the influential clubs such as Celtic and Hibs, have allowed Alloa's Mike Mulraney to be the front man for their attempted coup,  to give it a veneer of respectibility. Mulraney strikes me as being the member of the small Mafia family who took the rap for the Michael Corleone for the restaurant shooting in The Godfather.

 

The part of Scottish football which has deteriorated most in the last half century is the professional arm of the game. To let them run the entire show, would be an act of extreme folly.

 

 

 

AND finally, it has happened - Manchester United have sacked David Moyes. David has gone, his departure well-cushioned by his pay-off. I must say, I am surprised. I had thought, having gone through a few years of Hell by the way they mangled Sir Matt Busby's departure, a generation ago, United would have given Moyes longer.

 

But, no, theor American owners have shown themselves to be as stupid as the other billionaire foreign owners who are killing English football. The mantra of instant success, of how the BIG teams MUST be allowed to win, goes on.

 

And what about SAF, his annointed successor has failed, how does that play with his legacy?

 

Still, it will keep those talentless twits in the English Football Writers Association going for a week or so, until they begin their attack on Roy Hodgson, once England fails to win the World Cup.

 

The melt-down in English football cannot come quickly enough. 

A New Career For Ally

SHOULD we really have been surprised at Dundee United slapping down the Rangers tribute act at Ibrox yesterday? After all, United knocking teams who play their home games at that ground has become fairly common in recent years - even back when "Rangers" were actually Rangers.

 

However, for me, the fact that a workmanlike United win became an emphatic one, on the back of a massive boob by the tribute act's goalkeeper was further confirmation of the unfortunate (for him) fact that, Ally canny manage.

 

The old Rangers was ailing for years. As someone who had seen, at close quarters, how his management practices with MIM ruined Scottish basketball, then seen the same practices continue with Rangers, I always knew the Murray Years would end in tears.

 

OK, I never saw the carnage the Whyte shite would bring in its wake, but, cannot help thinking, if Murray had been a better owner, then Whyte would never have happened and we would still have been speaking about Rangers, rather than a tribute act.

 

Of course, Ra Peepul still need something to believe in, but, with every passing week, fewer and fewer believe in Ally.

 

It is, I feel, time for Fat Sally to resign, go away somewhere quiet, lose a lot of weight, re-invent himself, get a new act together and get back on the road.

 

Tommy Docherty doesn't get out much these days; well the old trouper is as old as Bruce Forsyth, so, the position of Football's Court Jester is up for grabs. If he quits Rangers, goes away and works on his act, Ally could be making good money - not perhaps as good as he is getting for making the tribute act a laughing stock -  but still, more than enough to live well off.

 

The tribute act. Difficult. If they carry-on as they are, it will all end in further tears. All hope has not yet gone, but, the end cannot be far away, unless things change, and change radically.

 

There is, however, one thing about the tribute act, which I cannot fathom. Even a cursory browse through the on-line forums lets one find umpteen posts from various members of the Celtic Family, reminding Ra Peepul - "Your team's deid" etc.

 

I have always felt, with a tribute act, it's maybe best to big-up their enthusiasm, admire their chutzpah in seeking to fill the void, but, don't obsess.

 

This current "Rangers" is no threat to the current Celtic hegemony, so, you can safely ignore it Celtic fans.

 

 

 

THESE are tough times for the guys who run Scotland's media sports desks, because, matters are rapidly approaching a tipping point.

 

Some day soon, they will have to start giving Women's Football more than token coverage. The way our girls are pushing for World Cup qualification is making the moment when they are taken seriously come ever closer.

 

Now, Sweden, their main rivals in the qualifying group, will be very very formidable opponents. Indeed, the Swedes will start as favourites when the two nations meet, but, why shouldn't the Scots lassies win. 

 

As the father of four Scots lassies, all I can say is, if our women footballers are as thrawn and aggressive as my daughters, we're home and dry.

 

Mind you, if they make the same daft decisions under pressure as mine have made - oh dear, oh dear, oh dear - disaster for Scotland: as my old mucker David Francey used to say.

 

 

Taxi For McCoist - Maybe

FOR all I know, they might still be dancing in the streets of Raith, while I can well imagine the fun Fife Free Press Honcho Allan Crowe, if his youthful immersion in all things Heart of Midlothian isn't still causing undue suffering, is having putting together this week's souvenir edition.

 

Well done Raith, they kept going and got their reward with John Baird's late goal.

 

But, where now Rangers? and where now Ally?

 

Let's face it, the highly-paid tribute act which McCoist manages, is doing what the huge numbers of fans want. They have won back-to-back promotions, they still give Ra Peepul, the chance to turn-up of a weekend and reprise their age-old song book and indulge in their anti-social behaviour, if they see fit.

 

Then came Sunday - their chance to pick-up a trophy, albeit the diddiest of diddy ones, live on TV - and: they blew it.

 

Let's face it, we are used to poor football in Scotland; our Premiership is hardly the last bastion of incisive, fast-paced, innovative football, but Sunday's clash of a team from the middle of the second-rate and the best of the third-rate, this was mind-numbingly tedious. It was awful.

 

That is the tribute act's standard. The team which Mr McCoist has so-expensively acquired, simply isn't much good. On yesterday's evidence, far from scooshing straight through the Championship and straight back to where Ra Peepul feel their team is entitled to be - I see a long campaign,  over more than one season, before that happens.

 

The question then is, how many of Ra Peepul will hang around that long for the journey and, will they still have a tribute act to follow follow?

 

 

 

ONE of the best passages which the late Alastair McLean wrote was his description of the final moments of HMS Ulysses, in his cracking first novel, of that name.

 

I was reminded of it as Hearts were relegated on Saturday, for, although demotion has been on the cards for weeks, when it did hit them, they went down with all guns blazing.

 

A wee wager on the Jambos to bounce right back to the Premiership in one season might pay dividends, always, of course, providing things go the club's way in the Lithuanian courts.

 

 

 

WHAT can we say about Leigh Griffiths, which hasn't already been said? Well, perhaps given his ability to get himself into trouble, maybe his parents should have christened him Brian - he certainly is a very naughty bhoy!! 

Better Late Than Simply Rolling Over For Hearts

GOING on te age-old basis of: "Never say never", I am loath to write an obituary on Hearts as a Scottish Premiership entity. The prospect of Hearts being liquidated is just too-awful to contemplate for anyone who has a love of Scottish football.

All my years of football experience tell me: Hearts will be relegated, sooner rather than later - except - I remember back in 2001, St Mirren were coming to the end of a traumatic first season in the SPL for well-nigh a decade. They had won the 1999-2000 First Division title after a season-long battle with Dunfermline, but, their return to the big time had been difficult. Still, as the SPL approached what would be its first top-six, bottom-six split, the Buddied enjoyed a reasonable advantage over bottom team Dundee United.

Admittedly, the Arabs weren't facing the North Wall of the Eiger type wall at which Gary Locke and his troops are currently staring, but, going into the final five games, there was reasonable confidence around Love Street.

St Mirren went down, United stayed up. So, that's one reason why I will not write-off the Gorgie men - yet. Saints have form in this respect.

I cannot help thinking, however, had the Hearts players found their recent resolution a wee bit earlier in the campaign, who knows what might have been, Or, is it a case of the prospect of hanging in the morning focussing the mind somewhat?

I accept that, even if relegated, Hearts might not survive. I just hope, should the worse happen and the team is liquidated, the same partial reprieve as was offered to a club from down Govan way will be laid-out around Gorgie. The precedent has been set. Of course, any new "Hearts" could always amalgamate with Spartans for SPFL Division Two.

Great ground, terrific grassroots infrastructure, what's not to like - apart from an argument about wearing maroon jerseys.

I SEE Ally McCoist was using the Mandy Rice-Davis defence earlier this week, after Mr Kayal's comments on Lee McCulloch were widely reported. When does Kayal get the wee note from Cousin Vinny, by the way? Although he could always plead: "Veritas".

I KIND of feel sorry for Leigh Griffiths, after he got the wee registered envelope from Vinny, following his "musical" efforts at a Hibs' fans love-in.

Now, the public perception of Master Leigh is that, while he is pretty sharp around a loose ball in a crowded penalty area, he has difficulty doing up trouser zips and, some have said, he wears his IQ on his back.

But, the function at which he was filmed doing his stuff for Celtic-Hibs-Hearts harmony was, supposedly a private one, seemingly attended by like-minded Hibbees. So, how come it got into the public domain.

When Donald Finlay QC was filmed in similar circumstances all those years ago, it was, again, at a supposedly private function. Now, far be it from me to condone the "accused's" beliefs, these are surely a matter for personal concern. We don't have to like the fact Leigh Griffiths isn't apparently a Hearts fan. Neither did we have to like or appreciate Mr Finlay's familiarity with Ulster "folk songs", but, provided they are not parading these beliefs in the public domain, we should let them get on with it.

I blame the media. If we weren't so-keen to serve up muck, then people would not abuse hopsitality and friendships to dish it. Old Fart that I am, I still relish the notion that how sportsmen and women let their hair down behind closed doors should stay there.
Finally, on this point, if M'learned friend Donald R Finlay, one of the most-prominent and respected QCs in Scotland and a man with nearly 40-years experience of the law can fall-foul of today's technology - can we be that hard on a wee Ned like Leigh?

I LIKED one of the comments on the Guardian website this week. It came in response to a story on Chelsea's Belgian goalkeeper Thibaut Courtois, currently on-loan to Atletico Madrid, where his performances have seen him hailed as "The Best Goalkeeper In The World".
Now, unfortunately for him, the Number 1 jersey at Chelsea is currently held by a more-experienced keeper, whom some critics class as TBGITW, so, the Guardian writers and readers were speculating as to what might become of him at the end of the season.
One chap came up with a convoluted series of transfers and loan deals, ending with Fraser Forster going to Chelsea and Courtois being loaned to the Hoops for a season.
This brought the response from another reader - clearly a Scot, who suggested there was more chance of Frank Haffey returning to Celtic than of Courtois ending-up there. That gave me a laugh.

  

Young Scottish Talent - There Has Always Been Young Scottish Talent

I HAVE a friend who has spent more years than he would care to mention nurturing the ungrateful youth of Scotland, as a school teacher, but, more-importantly as a coach of school football teams.

 

His dedication to the game has been rewarded by producing several Scottish Schools internationalists, some of whom have gone on to enjoy successful careers in professional football.

 

He has himself risen to a position of some influence in Hampden's corridors of power, and even beyond into Europe. My mate is, therefore, not at all surprised by the good publicity which the current crop of Scotland youth players are enjoying, mainly the Under-17 team's success in reaching the elite round of the UEFA Under-17 Championships.

 

"Listen", he will tell anyone who is prepared to do just this. "Scotland has ALWAYS produced as many potential future stars as any other European country - even Holland and Spain.

 

"At age group youth tournaments across Europe, from the Milk Cup in Northern Ireland, to the Gotha Cup in Sweden and in various big tournaments in Holland, France or Germany - even across the Atlantic in the USA, Scottish Boys Club teams do incredibly well, up to Under-16 or Under-17.

 

"That's when the problems start. The better boys, who are snapped-up by our clubs seem to fail to train-on as well as their European contemporaries, while far-too-many of the not-as-gifted fall-away into the traditional Scottish trap of women, drink and horses.

 

"A lot of these guys find their level, be it in the juniors, or amateurs, even Sunday League 'pub' football, or the local five-a-side leagues, but, I have serious concerns about the level of coaching and development which our clubs give our better, more-promising, young players."

 

That's a guy who is in the tent, and he is disappointed at how our professionals train the next generations. If you like, it's like a manufacturing company not investing in apprentices, or product research and development - yet, for too-long we have allowed this to happen in Scottish football.

 

Sure, we get the odd team to celebrate, but, too-many fail to turn potential into professional success, this, more than sectarianism, is Scottish football's secret shame.

 

 

 

A LINKED event to this was surely Michael Mols' intrusion into the current travails of the Rangers tribute act. The Dutch striker has suggested that more former Rangers' stars, both Scots and foreign imports, should be acting as an ad hoc scouting network, finding future stars for the club.

 

OK, as far as it goes, but, I am sure a lot of Rangers fans would far prefer that the club began to bring a steady stream of young, native talent, out of Auchenhowie and into the first-team squad.

 

The same criticism might be aimed across the city. Yes, it's all very well giving your young talent a run-out when the league has been won, but, I feel so-many of Celtic's secret army of talent spotters, the teachers and janitors at Scotland's Roman Catholic schools in particular, are not happy at the club's presumed preference for foreign-trained talent.

 

Some of the blame has to lie with the SFA, who could surely come-up with a better system for getting a better class of home-grown player into our top teams, but, the clubs could and should be doing more with fresh local produce.