What's In A Name - This Competition Needs A Reason To Survive

Like Dame Elizabeth Rosamund Taylor-Hilton-Wilding-Todd-Fisher-Burton-Burton-Warner-Fortensky, The Scottish League Cup has gone through many names in its 70-year history. On Sunday, in its latest incarnation, the Betfred Cup, it was won by Celtic, the club's 100^th trophy. Was anyone surprised?

As Sir Alex Ferguson correctly identified all those years ago, to gain respect in Scottish football, a provincial team such as Aberdeen has to win, and win regularly in Glasgow. This is something which Derek McInnes's Aberdeen has yet to start doing on a regular basis. To have had a chance yesterday, they would have needed to score first – when that didn't happen, it was obvious, the trophy was heading for Celtic Park.

The League Cup might offer the diddy teams their best chance of lifting silverware, but, it remains beyond doubt, if either of the Bigot Brothers is in the final against a provincial outfit, then, the Glasgow club will start as favourites and generally justify the tag. Thus it transpired yesterday.

The League Cup does not carry European entry the following season as a bonus, alongside possession of the actual trophy. It has, as I said at the start of this post, had various names, as the justification for this late arrival in the realm of national trophies has fought to justify its existence.

I have long felt, if there was even an ounce of ambition within the sixth floor corridor at Hampden, rather than periodically re-arranging the deck-chairs around the League Cup, the High Heid Yins would come up with an innovative formula – to make the League Cup matter.

For instance, Cricket Scotland runs a couple of national competitions – in the Scottish Cup, the clubs are free to field all their players, including their professional, generally an overseas player, and the overseas amateur whom the top clubs now also sponsor. In the other, whose current name escapes me, the XI fielded has to be all-Scottish.

Now, imagine this in football, if entry to the League Cup carried with it the demand for an all-Scottish squad. If that was the case, the teams which both sides fielded yesterday would have been very different from what they did field.

The teams listed 18-man squads for the game. Only seven of the Celtic squad – starters: Craig Gordon, Scott Brown, Stuart Armstrong and James Forrest and substitutes Leigh Griffiths, Gary Mackay-Steven and Callum McGregor were “Scottish”.

Of Aberdeen's 18-man squad, again, only seven were Scottish: starters Andrew Considine, Graham Shinnie, Ryan Jack and Kenny McLean, and substitutes Neil Alexander, Mark Reynolds and Peter Pawlett.

Thus, 36 players were stripped and available to play yesterday, in a national cup final, but, less than half, 14 of the 36 were Scottish. How does this square with the SFA's remit to foster and encourage Scottish football?

I know the clubs will squeal that, under European freedom of movement legislation, they cannot positively discriminate in favour of Scottish players, and force the clubs to only field Scots.

Well, the English Rugby Premiership operates under the same European legislation, but, somehow, they can insist that 70% of every 23-man match-day squad has to be “England-qualified”. I have asked various Hampden “blazers” how come English rugby can enforce this rule, but, Scottish football cannot? You've guessed – none can answer.

I am not saying demanding all-Scottish squads would offer the provincial clubs a better chance of winning the League Cup; or that making this demand would handicap the big clubs, but, it just might encourage the Scottish clubs to stop recruiting in the lower leagues in England, or in the football Aldis and Lidls in Europe, and encourage native talent.

Making the League Cup an all-Scottish competition just might give it the boost it needs. But, having said that, I don't expect the stumblebums in the Hampden posh seats to take a blind bit of notice.

THE on-going paedophile scandal in English football is worrying. As yet, there has been no spill-over into Scottish football. Yes, we all know about the ancient Celtic BC scandal involving the evil Jim Torbet, but, when full-time “on the tools” with a Scottish daily newspaper, I can recall we tried, unsuccessfully as it turned-out, to “out” a well-known local football club organiser, about whom there was a lot of gossip.

We failed to nail the story down well-enough to get it past the paper's lawyers, and, the highly-experienced journalist who fronted our campaign was upset at our failure. His gut instinct, honed over many years on the crime beat, plus the gut instincts of the several long-serving cops to whom he spoke was – the guy was a paedo. Sadly, we couldn't prove it.

However, he retired fairly soon afterwards, so, maybe we smoked him out.

There was also the director at the local senior club, who took a very close interest in the club's excellent youth development scheme, to the extent one manager effectively banned him from going anywhere near the youth team. That very-experienced manager simply did not trust the director around the young lads.

The nonces have ways of infiltrating to get their evil way with vulnerable youngsters. We can never be too-vigilant in protecting our kids. I fear, there is a lot more to still emerge from the on-going events in English football, and, we in Scotland need not think the fall-out will escape our game.

We lost big Davie Provan last weekend, after a lengthy battle against ill-health. Now, not even Davie would claim he was one of the all-time greats, but, he never gave less than 100 per cent on the park, and, without the hod-carriers such as Provan, the artists such as Jim Baxter could never have built such memories for those watching.

There is You Tube footage of wee Jinky making big Davie look particularly foolish, however, while Jinky was enjoying himself, nutmegging the big man twice and three times, the rest of the Rangers defence was getting into position ready to deal with the cross when it eventually came.

Provan, unlike big Greig, never gave Jinky an up close and personal meeting with the crowd in the Jungle, which says a lot for him.

My own personal memory of Provan was in the Scotland v Italy game at Hampden, in November, 1965; the match we won 1-0 thanks to that wonderful last-minute Greig goal. Well earlier in the second half, with Scotland goalkeeper Bill Brown a limping passenger with a thigh strain – no substitutes back then remember. The great Sandro Mazzola broke clear, an Italian goal seemed certain, however, on the edge of the box, big David got back to scythe him down. His foul prevented the goal, the Italians mucked-up the free-kick, and, this being the 1960s, Davie didn't even get booked for what, today, would be a certain red-card offence.

Cue David Francey, doing the radio commentary. David's comment was: “Of course, we should never applaud such blatant fouling, but, well done Big Davie, a wonderful foul to commit”.

I WAS at Rugby Park on Saturday, for the Scotland v Georgia rugby international. There were 15,401 fans inside the ground, this will probably be the biggest crowd at Rugby Park this season, and, I have to say, that number showed up the deficiencies of the main stand – it was just too crowded.

But, I could not help thinking, how come a rugby crowd can enjoy a drink at the game, but, a football crowd cannot. There were guys there who turn up on a weekly basis to watch Killie; they could get a drink at the game last Saturday, but, this Saturday, when Dundee come calling, and there are some 10,000 fewer spectators inside the ground, no drink will be available.

It does not make sense, and, football is losing access to a potentially-profitable revenue strain – because a bunch of nutters, whom the football authorities are unwilling to bring to heel or get rid of, cannot be trusted to act responsibly.

It's Not What You Say, It's How You Say It

IN any confrontational game – from cards to cage-fighting, verbals play a part. The correct quip, delivered at the right moment, can have devastating consequences. Cricket, for instance, belies its image as a gentlemanly game when you read some of the great “sledges” in that sport:

Australia's Rodney Marsh to Ian Botham: “How's your wife and my children”?

Botham: “The wife's fine, the kids are retards”.

Australia's Mark Waugh to England's James Ormond: “This is a Test match, what are you doing here? You're too shit to play for England”.

Ormond: “Maybe so, but, I am the best player in my family”.

Or, my favourite, Fred Trueman, after he had uprooted the middle stump of an arrogant former public schoolboy batsman. The dismissed batsman, as he departed, said: “Very good delivery Trueman”.

“Aye, it were wasted on thee”, was Fred's retort.

Another good place for verbal jousting is the front row of the rugby scrum. One of the all-time greats in that area, former Scotland captain Ian “Mighty Mouse” McLauchlan, always insists, if an opposing prop comes up with the: “Do that again and you're for it” line – you're winning.

McLauchlan, or “Wee Beastie” as those of us who suffered pain at his hands know him, never went in for verbals – if you offended him, he simply punched you and told you: “That was your warning son”.

So, you are asking yourself – why has he wasted 230 words on cricket and rugby stories, well, just this – if Michael Lustig had had a couple of Portugese one-liners up his sleeve, or had signed-up to the McLauchlan doctrine, he'd have put Neymar in his place at Celtic Park last night.

Lustig picked-up a totally senseless booking by reacting to Neymar's petulant, childish push; had he simply got up and walked away, then waited for Neymar to run at him again, before knocking him into the crowd, he might not have avoided a yellow card, but, he would certainly have won the battle.

Previous generations of Celtic full backs such as McGrain, Hay, Gemmell, Brogan, Kennedy, Craig and, most-definitely Sean Fallon, would have done just that, allowed Neymar to get up close and personal with the Jungle. That would definitely have put the Brazilian's gas out of peep.

Any way, Celtic are now out of Europe this season, and, we have further proof of how poor Scottish football has become. That losing Celtic team last night had a 7/4 imports to Scottish balance. If we're going to keep going out of Europe before Christmas, I reckon we might as well do it with all-Scottish teams; in time, the Scottish players will learn and we will improve. Continually failing with mercenaries is not the way forward for Celtic, or for Scottish football. Certainly not as we go into the 50^th year since Lisbon.

When will that message strike home?

SOME light relief on our sports pages this week, was offered by that little playground spat between Scott Brown and Charlie Adam.

Now, in terms of pure footballing ability, Adam is a superior player to Brown. However, ability isn't everything, and, when it comes to application of their given talents, Adam isn't remotely in the same league as Brown. Scott Brown, with Adam's pure ability, or Charlie Adam with Brown's drive and passion, would be two fantastic players, who could make a huge difference to the Scotland team.

I remember watching Adam in a Scotland Under-21 match at Rugby Park, against Turkey I think it was. He was sent off for a petulant, needless foul, then, as the press emerged, unchastened and unbowed, he was holding court in front of a bunch of adoring Rangers' fans. That was when I realised he was doomed – a waste of space, who would always be a peripheral figure in football, as it has come to pass.

A lot of what Brown does on the field leaves me cold, however, he has made a lot of his talent and, while he was adopted, rather than born into the Celtic Family, he has earned his esteemed place there. I'm with Broonie in this spat.

I GOT “a legal warning” - which was actually no such thing, from a certain fading Scottish morning newspaper this week. Their website monitor, plus the churnalist I was having a go at, took exception to me referring to said hack as RWM of the Lap Top Loyal.

My counter-claim of “veritas” passed over their heads. OK, I wear such warnings as a badge of pride, I am fulfilling my journalistic reason d'etre by getting up authority's nose – result. But, in waving a yellow card at me, the paper totally forgot to amend the error of fact I was pointing-out in the first place.

Scottish football journalism, heading down the stank at the speed of light.

Jordon Who?

ONE of the “serious” Scottish broadsheets has on its website a piece about “Celtic target” Jordon Mutch, or as he was to me until I read the piece: “Jordon Who”?

No harm to the young man, who it appears is a former England Under-21 internationalist, currently out of favour at Crystal Palace and being touted as a possible Celtic signing during the January transfer window. But, he encapsulates for me, all that is wrong with English football.

He began his career at Birmingham City, and, as is increasingly the fashion south of the Solway, had several loan spells. He never quite established himself in the starting XI at St Andrew's and was sold to Cariff City for £1 million.

Here again, he never became an established starter, but, inflation in England being what it is, he was sold to QPR for £6 million, couldn't get a regular game there either, and was off-loaded to Palace for just under £5 million. He still cannot get a game.

A midfielder, he has scored just 16 goals in five seasons, and, while he apparently has a penchant for the spectacular strike, these don't come along too-often.

Is he really what Celtic needs? After all, they have produced a few Scotland Under-21 caps over the years, who have failed to kick-on and become stars, ending up with lesser Scottish clubs. So, do Celtic really need to import a similar type player from England.

Mutch hasn't made it with a handful of English league clubs who are a good bit smaller than Celtic, that doesn't convince me he could cope with the massive expectations of the self-styled: “TGFITW”.

THIS blog is being written prior to the Celtic v Barcelona game. You do not need to be a mind reader to appreciate, I fancy the Catalans to win, maybe with a couple of goals to spare. However, we are very-unlikely to see another demolition job, similar to what happened in the Camp Nuo earlier in the campaign.

However, fitba being fitba, Celtic, with the backing of the above-mentioned TGFITW just might pull it off, should Barca under-estimate them, but, while wishing the Hoops well – I cannot see it happening.

THERE has been some talk of late of resuming Scottish League representative games – and why not? How about getting back to regular games between representative teams from the British Isles leagues – the Football League, the Irish League, the League of Ireland, the Scottish League and, why not also the Welsh League. These could be a good bridging series of games, between the Under-21 and full teams.

I would also like to see the Home Internationals restored, but, at Under-23 level, maybe even played as an end-of-season tournament in one of the nations, they could even invite the Republic to join-in, as England might not be willing to lower themselves to competing against the Celtic nations.

I am sure, Sky or BT Sport would fall over themselves to broadcast the games, thus off-setting the costs.

Even England, where graduates from their Under-21 side, such as Master Mutch at the top of this blog, struggle to get past the big-money imports and into regular games, might benefit from an Under-23 Home Internationals series.

THE Third round of the Junior Cup was supposed to have been played on Saturday, but, a lot of the games fell foul of the weather. One which was played, however, was the undoubted tie of the round, between last season's runners-up, Pollok, and the mighty Talbot, at Newlandsfield.

Talbot missed a penalty, the match ended 1-1 and they will replay at Beechwood Park on Saturday. Pollok don't like going to Beechwood, it's a bit too “Wild West” for the Southside sophisticates, and, while you have to fancy Talbot with home advantage, you never know and it will still be quite a game.

WE said goodbye to Eric Murray last week. Eric was one of the relatively unsung Ayrshiremen who were the backbone of the 1965 League-winning Kilmarnock team, a good, strong and resolute defender, but, not one of the name players in that great team.

The best Eric Murray story I heard in the aftermath of his passing was of how, many years on from Kilmarnock facing Real Madrid in the European Cup in 1965-66, a Killie fan rescued the Scotsport highlights tape of the game from a skip outside the STV studios.

It so-happened that goalkeeper Bobby Ferguson was on one of his infrequent visits home from Australia, so, a reunion was arranged, at which the tape would be shown to the surviving players. Now Eric Murray had been telling everyone for years, how, in that game: “I had Puskas in my back pocket”. Come the showing, however, Arthur Montford was constantly speaking about Puskas being on the ball.

At the end of the tape – the match at Rugby Park finished 2-2 by the way – one of the players said to Eric: “Haw Murray, whit aboot you hivin' Puskas in yer back pocket, that tape was awe aboot him”.

Unfazed, Eric replied: “That was only 15 minutes, you forgot the other 75”. A great response from a great guy.

You Can Surface Gordon - They Don't Want To Sack You this Week

WEE Gordon Strachan can relax and enjoy himself this week. The heat is off, the Stenographers have retreated to their preferred habitat – all things Old Firm.

The august members of the SFWA and the Lap Top Loyal can stop agitating for the replacement of the Wee Man as Scotland boss, and get back to what they do best – producing “click-bait” for their newspaper websites, via Old Firm stories.

During the close season, I happened to log into the Herald website, which always lists the 20 most-viewed articles, more than half of the stories on the list concerned either Celtic or Rangers, this is how-important the two clubs and their rivalry is to the Glasgow media village.

So, it was providential this week that, just as the Strachan situation was running out of puff, Celtic should hold their AGM, what fresh game for the Stenographers, what rich pickings to be had – Resolution 12 - “State Aid” - not forgetting “Will Celtic sign Stevie Gerrard?”. I can hear the wailing and gnashing of teeth from Level Five at Ibrox from this distance of over 40-miles away. Celtic is ruling the back pages – do something, do anything.

What exclusive will all the Stenographers be fed, in an effort to get Rangers back above the fold on the back page, or even, wet panties in joy at the thought, the Splash? I feel the pain as this problem is tackled at the highest Level.

As if damage limitation following the off-loading of Pal Joey wasn't enough to keep them going.

WEARING my ABE tee-shirt the other night, I settled down to watch the England v Spain friendly from Wembley. Initially, an under-strength Spain seemed content to go through the motions, and, in the process, they actually made England look quite good.

Then, with 20-minutes to go, and with England bringing on their subs, it suddenly seemed to get through to the Spanish players: “Hey guys, we could lose this one”. Immediately, they found that hitherto missing fifth gear and, while it took them a wee while, they came good at the end to secure the draw and, in the process, demonstrate that, really England is not a very good team.

OK, as a Tartan Army foot soldier, I relish English discomfort on the international stage. I love it when their inadequacies are shown-up. But, on the other hand, when you consider how easy it was for Spain to up their game and pull back the two-goal lead they had handed England, it doesn't half show how bad we are.

I NOTE that Welsh guest side, the New Saints have reached the semi-finals of the Irn Bru Cup (if that's what the Challenge Cup is called this season), where they will face the old Saints – St Mirren.

I realise this tournament is exclusively for the “diddy” teams in Scottish senior football, but, I am moving towards the view of becoming a supporter of the Welsh side, on the premis that a win for them will be another nail in the coffin of “aye beenism”, one of the incurable diseases which are causing the terminal decline of Scottish football.

Should the Welsh side lift the trophy, it just might be one more shred of evidence that Scottish fitba is shite, and, until that realisation hits Hampden, we will never see the much-needed, long-overdue changes put in place.

Donald Trump Couldn't Make Scotland Great Again

DISCLAIMER ONE: There are (according to the late Sir Winston Spencer Churchill) Lies, Damned Lies and Statistics.

DISCLAIMER TWO: Given the above, the advice once given me by a distinguished former sports correspondent of the News Chronicle, turned best-selling author: “M'boy, if you note the possession and territorial statistics of any given match, it generally tells you which of the sides deserved to win", comes into play.

BUT, to our tale. Some members (perhaps most) of the Scottish Football Writers Association and the Lap Top Loyal have seemingly decided that: Strachan Must Go. Well, good for them, it enables them to divert the dwindling Scottish football constituency from the realities of Scottish fitba in 2016:

1. A poor Celtic team is running away with the League title – due to lack of competition.
2. An even-poorer Rangers team might not be good-enough to finish second.
3. Rangers are still deep in the financial doo-dah.
4. Our Under-21 team is pish – therefore, the future is anything but bright.
5. The SFA as a governing body has even-less of a clue about running things than the Tories

So, in the time-honoured tradition of “Bread and Circuses” diversions, we are deep in the midst of a Let's Get Rid of Strachan witch-hunt, being led by a body which that esteemed obsessionist Phil Mac Giolla Bhain rightly terms: “The Stenographers”.

Gordon Strachan's record as Scotland National Team Manager reads:

p. 32 – w. 14 – d. 6 – l. 12 – 43.75% wins – 50.00% points won

Jock Stein's record at the same stage in his tenure as Scotland National Team Manager read:

p. 32 – w. 13 – d. 6 – l. 13 – 40.625% wins – 46.875% points won

Gordon Strachan's eclectic team (the guys who have played most in the team) over these 32 games reads, in 4-4-2 formation:

David Marshall; Alan Hutton, Russell Martin, Grant Hanley, Andy Robertson; Darren Fletcher, Scott Brown, Shaun Maloney, Ikycha Anya; Steven Fletcher, Robert Snodgrass.

Jock Stein's eclectic team from his first 32 games in charge would read:

Alan Rough; Sandy Jardine, Alex McLeish, Willie Miller, Danny McGrain; Gordon Strachan, Graeme Souness, Archie Gemmill, John Robertson; Kenny Dalglish, Joe Jordan.

 

Right, the 22 players named above are your Scotland squad - all are at the peak of their powers, all are fit and available for selection – what is your preferred Scotland starting XI?

Now – look again at the performance statistics.

In those first 32 games as manager, Stein took part in one European Championship qualifying campaign, and one World Cup qualifying campaign, having taken over from Ally MacLeod after the opening game of the 1980 European Championship qualifiers. His record in these campaigns was:

1980 Euros Qualifying: p. 5 – w. 1 – d. 1 – l. 3 – 20.00% wins – 26.67% points won - DNQ

1982 World Cup Qualifying: p. 8 – w. 4 – d. 3 – l. 1 – 50.00% wins – 62.5% points won – Q

Overall competitive record: p. 13 – w. 5 – d. 4 – l. 4 – 38.46% wins – 48.72% points won

Gordon Strachan succeeded Craig Levein in the midst of the unsuccessful 2014 World Cup Qualifying campaign. He has since presided over the unsuccessful 2016 European Championship Qualifying campaign, and is now guiding us in the 2018 World Cup qualifying campaign. His record in these campaigns reads:

2014 World Cup Qualifying: p. 6 – w. 3 – d. 0 – l. 3 – 50% wins – 50% points won – DNQ

2016 Euros Qualifying: p. 10 – w. 4 – d. 3 – l. 3 – 40% wins – 50% points won – DNQ

2018 World Cup Qualifying: p. 4 – w. 1 – d. 1 – l. 2 – 25% wins – 33.33% points won

Overall competitive record: p. 20 – w. 8 – d. 4 – l. 8 – 40% wins – 46.67%

There can be no argument – Stein had better players at his disposal than Strachan has. Some might argue, the Scotland side of the 1978 – 1982 period faced higher-quality opposition than the Scotland side of 2014 – 2016 has, but, the comparison of the overall records show, we have been failing to meet the aspirations of the Tartan Army for decades.

The combination of Jock Stein's managerial skills and the talent of some of the immortals of Scottish football produced an inferior record to those of Gordon Strachan and a bunch of journeymen. If nothing else, this shows, it matters not a jot whether or not Strachan falls on his sword, or is sacked – Scotland will still be SHITE.

ONE final wee point - Disappointing though our start to this Qualifying campaign has been, one win, one draw and two defeats from our first four games - it is a better start than we made in our last three campaigns. In 2006, we opened with two draws and two defeats; in 2010 (where we were in a five, rather than six-team group), we began with the same one win, one draw, one defeat record as we have managed to date this time round; last time out, for the 2014 tournament, we began with two draws and two defeats. Thus, WGS has made us better, but, still the Stenographers want him out.

This is the fifth time we have been drawn in a six-team Qualifying group, we have managed to qualify just once in the previous four - in 1998. Our "terrible" start to this campaign is actually our third-best from these five Qualifying campaigns in six-team groups. As I wrote two paragraphs above - the chances are, Scotland will still be SHITE. 

SFWA – LAP-TOP LOYAL – MSM - I SHALL WRITE THIS ONLY ONCE:

THE PROBLEM IS NOT THE MANAGER:

THE PROBLEM IS NOT THE PLAYERS:

THE PROBLEM IS THE WHOLE BLOODY SYSTEM