Winning Meaningless Games - A Scottish Speciality

WHEN Scotland beat England 3-2 at Wembley, 50-years ago, I wasn't there – I was playing rugby back in Scotland, but, I was aware of the game – naturally, we Scots were all aware. Back then the annual encounter with England was the only one that mattered.

Sure, I relished Jim Baxter's bit of keepy-uppy. I laughed at the thought of the gallus Fifer inviting Bobby Moore to: “Come and try to take the ba' off me fat boy”. While the thought of the slim one and wee Billy Bremner ganging-up on Allan Ball and dubbing him: “Jimmy Clitheroe” (a popular North of England comedian of the time) as they nutmegged him, still makes me laugh.

The fact that wee Ballie bore his tormentors no ill-will and was great company whenever he met Scots thereafter, speaks volumes for the man.

Any way, as all the Scottish football writers who were not even alive when the game was played were bigging it up, I was thinking – don't you know our football history.

Had we not blown a one-goal lead against Poland at Hampden, we would have qualified for the 1966 World Cup finals. Back then, we had the players capable of going a long way in that competition – we blew it. The 1967 Wembley game was pay-back, but, that one was a no-win for England.

All they had to do was draw and they would have been Home International Champions, we simpy HAD to win it to take the title. Also the game was a European Championship qualifier, unlike the 1928 game – the Wembley Wizards – this one mattered. We won, we were in pole position to qualify for the 1968 European Championship quarter-finals, but, we blew it.

We lost to Northern Ireland, or rather, George Best virtually beat us on his own, then we could only draw 1-1 at Hampden with an experimental England team. These results meant, England and not us qualified, thereby rendering the Wembley result meaningless.

This, of course, is par for the course in Scottish football – we have made stupid ways of losing games or missing-out on big tournaments an art form. He's tae us, wha's like us!!

ONCE again, our referees are under pressure after the weekend's Premiership games. And, needless to say, poor old Willie Collum is front and centre, after his decision to allow that Motherwell “ghost goal” against Inverness Caledonian Thistle.

I only saw the goal on Sunday's highlights programme. Of course it wasn't a goal, the ball never crossed the line. But, I would be loath to criticise Catastrophe Collum – he got no help from his assistant, who should have been in position to tell him it wasn't a goal.

But, that decision paled into insignificance when compared to the ridiculous penalty which was awarded to Ross County against Celtic.

Alex Schalk's ridiculous dive must be severely punished, there was clearly no contact and the referee and his assistants were conned. Still a bad decision to give, however.

Then, the old heid-case Scott Brown emerged, with a petulant retaliatory foul on Liam Boyce and a deserved red card. Just when you think Broon is finally growing-up, he reverts to type.

And, while we are discussing silly boys who never grow-up, well done Neil Lennon, for getting Hibs back to the top flight, He will make an interesting league even more interesting next season.

FINALLY, Scottish football lost one of its favourite characters at the weekend, with the death of former St Johnstone staff stalwart Aggie Moffat. Wee Aggie had her 15 minutes of fame when she got stuck into Graeme Souness back in 1991. But, for 27-years, she had quietly, resolutely and doggedly served St Johnstone as tea lady, laundress, cleaner and surrogate mother to the players and staff.

Every Scottish club has its own Aggie Moffat, these women are some of the backbones of the game, and when one stalwart, such as Aggie, dies, the game is poorer for her loss.

THIS post began with a look back at a great Scottish win. We go full circle by finishing with another. Eighty years ago, on17 April, 1937, a still-standing European attendance record, which seems unlikely to ever be beaten was set, when 149,407 fans crammed into Hampden to see Scotland beat England 3-1. This one, like the 1967 win, was meaningless – Wales had already won the Home Internationals, but, that didn't greatly bother the Scots.

After an indifferent first half, in which Freddie Steel put England ahead, and Jerry Dawson made some big saves, Scotland got going after the break. Debutant Frank O'Donnell of Preston North End equalised, before two late Bob McPhail goals saw Scotland home to win the first all-ticket match in Scottish football history.

Well Done Celtic - East Ayrshire Is In Mourning

DOWN here, at the arsehole end of God's county of Ayrshire, our in-built tribalism, whereby somebody from the net village, perhaps a mere mile away, is automatically not to be trusted and a figure of suspicion, we merely name oor village team whenever some worldly sophisticate from Glasgow or its surrounding areas asks us: “whit team dae ye support?”

It is too-easy to reply: “Craigmark Burntonians”, “Muirkirk Juniors”, or Lugar Boswell Thistle” - Auchinleck Talbot they will certainly have heard of, perhaps Cumnock Juniors or Glenafton Athletic too, but, naming an obscure Ayrshire junior side doesn't half play with their heads, inevitably bringing forth the supplementary question: “Aye, but, whit team dae ye really support?” The perception there being, you have to be aligned to one or other half of that seminal pairing – The Bigot Brothers.

Even saying: “Kilmarnock”, does not cut the mustard, within a 10/15 mile radius of George Square, you have to follow on or other of the Big Two.

Well, if a choice had to be made, down in this part of the world, orange is the colour – we have an awful lot of supposed junior fans who happen to have sashes in their bedroom drawers, and a Rangers scarf somewhere in a cupboard. After all, as I tell everyone, my old school, Cumnock Academy's school song is: “The Sash”.

So, it is fair to say, there was an air of despondency hanging over the local watering holes on Sunday evening, as the troops reviewed Celtic's emphatic League Championship success..

It was deserved, the Hoops have been the class act in the SPFL this season and it would be churlish in the extreme not to congratulate them on a first-class job, well done.

However, it has to be said, anything other than a Celtic win would have been a major surprise. They held all the aces, but, to be fair, Brendan Rodgers played his cards well.

Now, the task in hand for BR and his men is twofold – to complete a domestic Treble, which would set them out as an outstanding Celtic squad and, if possible, to go through the domestic season unbeaten.

Now, that would be a fitting way to mark the Golden Jubilee of the Lisbon Lions, and their remarkable winning of the European Cup back in 1967. I have no doubts, BR and his coaching staff will be aiming for these two cherries on top of the cake, and, why not.

However, it might be better for the club, that they, now the league has been won, used the remaining games to perhaps blood some of their prodigiously-talented kids, give the fringe players greater exposure to first-team football and maybe experiment with personnel and formations.

If the desire to post that unbeaten season and in some way put the 2017 squad on the step below the Lions in the Parkhead Pantheon, then, BR will continue to put out what he thinks is his strongest team every match. But, any team is only as strong as its weakest link, so, there might be a case for ringing the changes and giving some of the fringe guys more game time.

Meanwhile, back here in the boondocks, as the Rangers fans curse and moan, they have to face the reality – the Ibrox squad includes few players who are: “Rangers class”; their manager is still unproven in the mud and glaur of the Scottish game, while their boardroom seems to be splitting into factions, as the reality bites – they are being led by a Glib and Shameless Liar, who is extremely toxic.

Rangers are not in a good place, and the future is anything but bright.

Elsewhere, Aberdeen are still to convince as being able to bridge the gap between Celtic and themselves in second place, Hearts are still struggling to come to terms with Ian Cathro's coaching ethos and there is little to choose between the also-rans, none of whom looks like breaking out of the pack to join the challenging group below Celtic

Scottish football, for all Celtic's dominance, is not in a good place right now.

I AM an unashamed fan of 'Off The Ball', Scotland's most petty and ill-informed, but nevertheless, most-entertaining football programme.

Stuart and Tam came up with an interesting wee question on Saturday – who should Scotland play in this additional friendly Wee Gordon Strachan wants to slot-in before we get our erses kicked by England in June?

The punters, as ever, came up with some good suggestions – I like the idea they should play Aberdeen, at Pittodrie, as it was the only way any Aberdeen players would get on the park in a Scotland game. The suggestion they play the Scotland Women's team is a non-starter. OK, some years back, the Australian Wome played the Australian Under-15 boys team, and were thrashed 7-0, not a good precedent. Mind you, I still fancy, this being Scotland, oor lassies would gie oor big girls' blouses a game.

My suggestion is, the return of an old favourite – the Home Scots v Anglo-Scots clash. This used to be, back in the days of black and white TV and before then, a hardy annual. However, some time in the early 1960s, it vanished from the calendar.

Given a lot of Tartan Army foot soldiers are of the opinion, WGS is fixated by players who strut their stuff in the English Championship, to the detriment of home-based Scots, this just might clarify the position. Strachan picks and manages the Anglo-Scots squad, someone else looks after the Home Scots – it's a straight head-to-head, played somewhere other than Hampden, low-cost tickets, proceeds to charity – win-win.

What could possibly go wrong? Well, the Home Scots might put a good few goals on the high-priced Anglos, and the smelly stuff hits the fan (not the fans). It would be fun, and different.

A LOT of hot air has been expelled about Richard Foster and Danny Swanson's coming together at Hamilton on Saturday. Not a new tale, think Hogg v Levein all those years ago. I also remember one bout of hand bags in an Ayrshire League game, some years ago, involving a lawyer and an accountant, who happened to be team mates. Now, had their professional bodies ever heard about it, that might have had severe consequences, talk about unprofessional conduct.

If I remember the build-up to the fall-out properly, it concerned which of them should have been marking the Glenafton Athletic centre forward when he scored with a header from a corner. That centre forward was one Alan Rough – who says he never got on the end of a cross!!