New Fitba Season - Yawn - So What!!

I REMEMBER one July Saturday, 40 years ago now, when a group of us convened by the grandstand snack bar at Somerset Park, buying pies and cups of coffee as we waited for the new Football season to kick-off. There were about five of us, representing the Sunday papers.

The late, great Doug Baillie was there, wondering what was new for this fresh season, but the Chief Football Writer of the Sunday Express, like Doug, sadly no longer with us, chimed-in: “nothing new, it's still 22 men kicking a round ball about for 45 minutes at a stretch and we will be bored stiff of it by October.”

He wasn't far wrong; but, at least back then, the start of a new season was an occasion we looked forward to. Then, the blazers who set the fixtures schedule had the decency to allow the sports writers to warm-up at The Open, before sending them back to the long march towards the following May and the end of another campaign.

These days, in their continual homage to: “never mind the quality – feel the width” the game's rulers have turned 'The Beautiful Game' into an all-year-round slug fest – the sporting equivalent of the Western Front – although without the mud.

The NFL season starts for real in September, the 17-game regular season ending in January, before the post-season run to the grand finale – 'Superbowl' extends the campaign to late February. At most, the team which wins Superbowl will be involved in American Football for a maximum of 26 weeks, with perhaps a further four for pre-season warm-ups.

This, to me, makes more sense than Football's fixation with all-year-round play, where we have Chelsea playing their final game of Season 2024-25 – the ludicrously-named World Club Championship Final, on the same day as Liverpool, the defending Premiership Champions, were playing their first Season 2025-26 warm-up.

Player burn-out, not Football's concern; a diminution of playing standards – not our problem: the players are there to keep playing and keep the money rolling-in.

This new season will be the 70^th anniversary of my first as a regular attender at games. To be honest, none since has quite matched the excitement of that first, the season in which our village team – Lugar Boswell Thistle defied the odds and all expectations, to reach the final of The Scottish Junior Cup. Losing that match 1-4 to Petershill remains my worst lost ever. “The Jaggy Bunnets” have never come close to another trip to the final, but, and it maybe served “The Peasies” right for beating us. That win was a then record fifth in the competition for Springburn's finest, they have not won the great trophy since.

That season started on the last Saturday in July, 1955 and was done and dusted by the start of May, 1956 – done and dusted in 40 weeks. Dare I suggest the quality of Football would be improved if we reverted to that sort of time scale?

Professional Golf is an all-year-round circuit, as is Professional Tennis. However, the top talents, the likes of Rory McIlroy or Jannik Sinner do not play every week; no, they take time-out to rest and recover, but, when it comes to the big Grand Slam events, they are there.

Between Domestic and European matches, the top Football clubs play over 60 games per season. I accept, it is rare to find an ever-present on their squad rosters, but, top international talent playing 40 or 50 games per season for their clubs, and then turning out for their countries in International matches is not unusual.

We wonder at how some of the great American Football Quarterbacks: Tom Brady & Co are still playing into their forties. Well, even a top Quarterback will only be on the field for 30-40 minutes of a game, which lasts 60 minutres of playing time – these conductors of the plays are only involved when their team is attacking.

Compare that work-load with that of a top international Footballer, such as oor ain Andy Robertson or John McGinn, running around for 90 minutes, in 40 or more games per season. No wonder it is a rare professional Footballer who plays much past 35.

In Season 1959-60 I graduated to Senior Football, and began to follow Kilmarnock regularly. That season, Rangers were in the European Cup, reaching the semi-finals. In all, that season, they played 61 games, between 6 August and 11 May – 34 League games, 7 Scottish Cup ties (including 1 replay), 6 League Cup ties, 3 games in the Glasgow Cup, 2 games in the Glasgow Merchants Charity Cup and 9 games in Europe.

Billy Stevenson, who died last month, was their most-used player that season, missing only one of Rangers' games in that campaign. Skipper Eric Caldow played only 37 games, plus 7 full Scotland games and 1 game for the Scottish League took him up to 45 games. For comparison, in the season just ended, James Tavernier played 58 games for Rangers.

Chelsea's victory over PSG in the World Club Cup at the weekend was their 64^th game of the season, but these matches were squeezed into 47 weeks, which works-out as nearly 1.4 games per week. No wonder the club needs a 46-strong squad of players. Add the seemingly obligatory trip to sunnier climes to play maybe a couple of lucrative but meaningless friendlies – to increase “Brand Awareness” and I reckon the players have to exagerrate an injury or two, just to get a break from all-year-round play.

Dare I suggest, a shorter season (or at least fewer games) might mean smaller, more-talented squads and a better product for the fans to watch. I for one, am a tad weary of the present fashion for possession football, of two passes sideways, two passes backwards for every pass forward as teams try to pass each other off the park.

Are we maybe heading for the imposition of new Laws, directing that if a team hasn't at least tried a shot at goal after a given time or a given number of passes have elapsed, they lose possession? Or: why doesn't IFAB suggest a law amendment whereby, a team cannot pass the ball back into their own half once they have taken the ball over the half-way line. That might brighten things up.

American Football makes money, because the League plays hard ball with the TV companies, the sponsors and everyone who wishes to become involved. The mantra is: “We've got a great product here, but you're going to have to pay top dollar to watch it, either live or on TV.”

I don't think Football (or should I call it Real Football to differentiate from the inferior American product) sells itself as hard or as big as it could -although that might change now American sports organisations are starting to buy into British Football clubs.

If I was to be appointed Dictator 'Supreme Leader' of the SFA, I'd be telling the clubs: “Right guys, we now have a three foreigners rule – you're going to actively recruit and promote Scottish talent. No more third or fourth-rate non-Scots. And the Scots you do have, must be better coached and trained – lets think Waitrose or Marks & Spencer rather than Aldi and Lidl – or in many cases Iceland and Poundstretcher.

“While I'm at it, you will enhance the spectator experience by upgrading your grounds and you will sell the game better”.

I am sure there would be squealing, wailing and gnashing of teeth and a few rocky years, but, if Scottish Fitba does not wake-up, smell the coffee and join the 21^st century, ere lang, our so-called top clubs will be playing in the first rather than the second or third qualifying rounds in the European competitions; we will be down there with the real minnow nations.

I can but hope.

 

AH KENT HIS FAITHER – who I regularly chauffeured while part-time taxi-driving in Ayr, and always found to be a gentleman. I got to know the man himself while involved in Basketball in the early 1980s, and I once, memorably, was hauled over the coals verbally by some of the biggest names in the Scottish Football Writers Association, for calling him “David” after I addressed him as such when asking a question at a Rangers press conference. Apparently: “Mr Chairman” or “Mr Murray” were the accepted mode of address.

As I explained, he had been “David” when we were involved in Scottish Basketball meetings, or when socialising before or after games in that sport, so, I wasn't changing. Funnily enough, one of the leaders of the “A Team Gang” who was so-keen to put me in my place, was outed in Sir David Murray's autobiography 'Mettle' as the one major Scottish Football Writer he had never spoken to.

Mettle has been much-hyped by the publishers, Reach Sports. {Reach owns the Daily Record, Sunday Mail and most of Scotland's surviving local newspapers].

I binge read it after it was delivered on Saturday afternoon, I enjoyed it, it's a very-good read, but, in the end it left me a tad disappointed. David was not well served by his Book Editor, there are one or two factual errors which ought to have been spotted and rectified before publication, for instance.

Of course, the “hook” on which it was authorised was Murray's 23 years as owner of Rangers, but for me, the bits about his inter-action with the players and managers at Ibrox are the weakest sections – for all his obvious high regard for Walter Smith. Much-more interesting for me were his tales of his lengthy and successful business career and of the wheeling and dealing which he did in that part of his interesting life.

I can understand why he might wish to gloss over the accident which cost him both legs, and his recovery from this huge blow. But, I would loved to have read more about that and his time running Murray International Metals then Livingston Bulls Basketball Clubs. What he did for that club and for that sport, in the years before he bought Rangers, that is a story which deserved telling.

He also modestly plays down his other generous support of other amateur clubs, in hockey and volleyball for instance, plus some sponsorships in other areas.

I feel, some of the Basketball players he employed then, guys such as Alton Byrd, Bobby Archibald, Graeme Hill and Ian McLean, are as-interesting, if not more-so than Ally McCoist, Paul Gascoigne & Co. Indeed Byrd, regarded at the time as: “The best player in the world under six feet tall” was as big a star as anyone in the Ibrox dressing room.

Another two players, MIM and Multi-Metals' American Lewis Young and oor ain Jim “Tober” Morrison, who captained the Rangers Basketball team, could out-score Ally McCoist any day.

Then there was the tale of how David Holmes, Murray's predecessor as Rangers Chairman started a Rangers Basketball team, with a view to making the club a multi-sports one, like Barcelona and Real Madrid, then, when Murray bought Rangers, he found himself owning the two top teams in the British Basketball League.

As it is, the Basketball Years get barely three mentions, while the only hoops star to get a name-check was Alan Baillie – one of several to work in Murray's businesses and mentioned in that regard.

But, these caveats raised, it is a cracking book, well-worth reading and I commend it to the House.

ONE OF MY best mates, when I was “On the tools” and covering live Football matches was Graham Scott of the Evening Times/Herald. Graham made his reputation as THE Junior Football reporter with the Times, before, as he scaled down towards retirement, taking his particular brand of highly-competent football writing into the Senior ranks. He was always great company in the hurly-burly of the press box.

Graham was also, inadvertently, partly the cause of my lengthy ban from that wonderful pre-Junior Cup final lunch, after the odious Joe Black let Graham into the dressing room area and kept the rest of us outside, after one Junior Cup Final. I did not miss Mr Black and hit the wall when we did finally get in – after which, I became a non-person.

Any way, I reckon Graham could really get his teeth into a wee something I noticed this week, when my local paper: The Cumnock Chronicle, surprised us all by publishing a story which was worth reading – about the latest raft of changes that are afoot in what we are now obliged to call: “The Community Game.”

Apparently, at the end of the season which is about to start, there will be huge changes around Tiers Five and Six of the Scottish Football Pyramid, that's where the top “Senior Non-League” clubs; Highland and Lowland League teams and the former Junior sides such as Auchinleck Talbot play.

At the moment, Tier Five Lowland League clubs play in a single division, but, in season 2026-2027 there will be a change to form Lowland League East and Lowland League West, and, that's where things will become interesting. This will call for a larger number of teams to be promoted from Tier Six – The West of Scotland League. However, to be promoted, a club will have to be “licenced”, which calls for a certain level of infrastructure and club organisation, and not all the West of Scotland League clubs meet the licencing criteria.

So, we might see a team which doesn't meet the SFA's stringent requirements for promotion finishing above a club which does, and losing out on promotion to that other club – cue outraged fans shouting the odds.

Given some of these club officials could start an argument in an empty hoose, I don't envy the League officials such as my old mate John Dalton, the West of Scotland League Secretary, in trying to keep the peace, explain the changes and get them implemented.

 

Random Ruminations On A Sunday Morning

I WAS THINKING of dear old Meat Loaf on Sunday, as I reflected on the sporting week-end; in particular to his song: “Two out of three aint bad.” England's cricket team is enduring a bit of a doing from the Indians at Edgbaston – and while you can never discount “Bazball” - it isn't looking good for them, even if the heavens over Birmingham have opened this morning. Meanwhile the hugely over-hyped “Lionesses” lost to France in the opening game of their European Championship defence. Against this, let's be fair, congratulations to their Rugby Union team for a terrific win over Argentina in La Plata.

Not quite full-on Schadenfreude for we “Rebellious Scots” to relish, but hey – cue old Meaty.

Meanwhile, up here in the football boondocks, BBC Shortbread had a fascinating interview with wee Billy Dodds. Billy and I are in an exclusive club of two: John “Big Swim” Hunter” - Sir Tom's uncle and for many years, Director of Football at Cumnock Academy – told me one day: “in all my years at the school, the only two players I ever had that I couldn't see what they brought to the game were You and Billy Dodds.”

I'll take that, even though I had to occasionally kick his erse when he was a young boy, I have always had a lot of time for Doddsie. He worked bloody hard for his success and if a few more-naturally-talented Scots had had Billy's enthusiasm and work ethic, our game would be in a much-better state.

Now back adding a bit of class to the Shortbread tin of talking heads – ok, that wouldn't be difficult, but, credit where it's due – Billy was giving us a look behind the scenes at his time back at Rangers as a member, with Barry Ferguson and Neil McCann of the reformed “Boy Band – Hun Direction”.

There was a lot of intelligent good sense in what Billy had to say and I still feel, history might show, Rangers should have stuck with the boy band rather than – again – bringing in new blood without a deep understanding of what it will take to turn things around at the club.

Mind you, although the Glen isn't my primary Junior side, I'd still rather see him back home in New Cumnock, sorting-out Glenafton Athletic.

SPEAKING OF “Junior Football” - I see The Scottish Junior Cup is no more. I understand the trophy itself, a magnificent example of Victorian silversmithing, will continue to be the prize for winning what we must now call: “The Scottish Communities Cup”. That's great, but, I think the new name is a bit naff; never mind, we don't expect incisive thinking along Hampden's Corridor of Power.

The management model in Scottish Fitba has long been a combination of muddling through and It'll be alright on the night. Great brains don't hang around Hampden too long, it can be a lonely place when you have more than one working brain cell, so, I don't see my idea ever being taken-up, but, having made this plea regularly over some 30 years or more, I will make it again.

The first and second round draws for the renamed competition were made and released last week. On the basis of, it's the small details which make the difference, I hereby suggest – again – that, the organisers release the various cup draws in alphabetical order. Thus, if Auchinleck Talbot get a home tie, that is listed before Cumnock Juniors' home tie, and so on. But, as things stand, if Yoker Athletic's tie comes out of the pot before Clydebank's, then that's the order in which it is printed.

TEST MATCH SPECIAL on Sunday morning, with the start of the final day of the Edgbaston Test Match delayed by rain, was broadcasting gold. First they repeated a minor classic from Saturday, a piece involving 12 year old, visually-impaired cricket fanatic “Ravi” - the kid was magic. They followed this up with former England Captain Michael Vaughan and the legend that is Jonathan Agnew selecting the England attack for the Lords Test, from the leading bowlers in the County averages.

Such an exercise would never work in Football, since, even in these days of OPTA ratings, we don't really have the statistical evidence to make an applied judgement of one player over another. I fear it will be a year or so, perhaps a decade or so, before – for all Brighton and Hove Albion's current reliance on analytics – we see “Moneyball” being used in Fitba.

Mind you, Vaughan did say there is a difference between even the top tier of club play and international play – a fact which holds perhaps even more in Football than in Cricket. There might still be something to be said for Craig Brown's occasional ploy of capping someone, just to prove the press were talking mince when boosting certain players' international credentials.

I'VE KNOWN Charles Young Esq since the days when he had a clear chin and hair on top of his head. One of my favourite one-liners from the Court Jester of Scottish Fitba was his classic: “This season's Junior close season is on a Thursday”. There was occasional truth on that, I remember one year, covering Annbank United's first pre-season friendly on a Saturday, and Auchinleck Talbot's final game of the previous season the following Tuesday.

In truth, I am against the modern fashion for “never mind the quality, feel the width” as Fitba becomes ever-more an all-year-round sport. It's been coming for years, Arthur Milton, in 1954 was the last English dual-internationalist (Cricket and Football). Scotland's last such dual-internationalist was, of course: “The Goalie” Andy Goram, in 1991. The Goalie looks increasingly likely to be the last member of an exclusive club: Dr John McDonald (Edinburgh University) back in the 1880s, future Rangers' Manager Scot Symon in the 1930s, Hearts Legend Donald Ford in the 1980s are the others.

One of the reasons, other than self-interest on the part of England and Scotland, for the demise of the Home International Championship 40 years ago was the feeling, the season was going-on for two long and the players wer over-tired; it hasn't been curtailed in the intervening period.

There is, I feel, something to be said for the shorter seasons in the mega-bucks North American professional sports. I fear for the likes of Manchester City and Chelsea in the new season, following their participation in the absurd World Club Championships, which is dragging on at the moment.

 

A Study Of Managerial Madness In Scottish Fitba

I HAVE WRITTEN this before; I will surely write it again. The top tier in Scottish Football is a classic example of madness being a case of doing the same thing again, in the hope of a different outcome.

Case One – Rangers: Here we are, one week into the new regime and it's a case of same-old, same-old; as the new Head Coach, untried in the unique surroundings of the Scottish Professional Football League, backed by a club management structure manned by people, few of whom have Scottish accents, making the same mistakes as the last several managers.

Real Rangers (1872-1986) employed their first Manager, William Wilton, in 1899. Excluding temporary “Caretaker Managers” he was in turn followed by: Bill Struth, Scot Symon, David White, Willie Waddell, Jock Wallace and John Greig. These seven men won 69 domestic and one European trophy – an average of 10 trophies per manager.

In all they sent out 3564 teams, winning 2260 or 63.73% of the games played.

Big Money Rangers (1986-2012) employed (again excluding caretakers) 5 managers in those 26 years.

These gaffers have sent out 1342 teams, winning 869 or 64.75% of the games played.

Sevco (2012-2025) has employed (again excluding caretakers) 7 Managers in 13 years. These men have sent out 666 teams, winning 432 or 64.86% of these games. These figures are somewhat skewed however, by the seasons spent gatting back to the top flight in Scotland, following liquidation and demotion to League Two, in 2012. The Sevco years have yielded a mere 3 major domestic trophies.

Ally McCoist, Manager during most of the march back, is, statistically (to use an American expression) “Rangers' winningest Manager” with a record of winning 72.46% of the games in which he was in-charge. The club's least successful Manager was another Club Legend – John Greig – who only won 52.08% of his matches as Manager.

What we can read into these figures is, it doesn't appear to matter who is Manager of Rangers, they still win roughly the same percentage of games per season, so, perhaps all those changes of Manager, all that signing of new players and changes of personnel are simply a waste of time and money, in a desperate effort to placate an implacable supporter base who will never be satisfied. Managerial Madness writ large, because, down Edmiston Drive, the more things change, the more they apparently stay the same.

This being a Scottish Fitba blog – we must have balance, so, let's take a look at the other end of the Dear Green Place – along London Road.

Original Celtic – the Four Families Years: From 1888 until 1994, “The Celtic Family” was effectively in the control of “The Four Families” - the Kellys, Grants, McGinns and Whites. They ran things their way and were, particularly when Sir Bob Kelly had, to use a phrase common in Irish muck-shifting circles: “da full shout”, dictatorial in how they oversaw the club. For over 40 years Willie Maley was Manager, to be followed – during World War II – by Jimmy McStay. Because he was only Manager during WWII, his statistics are excluded here.

McStay was succeeded by Jimmy McGrory, widely regarded at the time as the club's greatest-ever player. He was in turn succeeded by former Captain Jock Stein, who was in turn succeeded by Celtic's greatest-ever Captain, Billy McNeill, before, David Hay, Liam Brady and Lou Macari moved into the hot seat.

The Families failed to move with the times and, with Celtic on the verge of bankruptcy, a group of “Rebels” - led by Fergus McCann – stepped-in to rescue the club.

During the reign of the Four Families, Celtic's seven full-time Managers presided over the capture of 70 trophies, accrued over 3986 games, a winning percentage of 61.47%. In compiling these statistics I have included the single season when, while Stein recovered from his injuries in a serious car crash, Assistant Manager Sean Fallon was in-charge, in Stein's figures.

Under the Four Families, even allowing for single tournament successes such as the club's wins in the likes of The Empire Exhibition, St Mungo's Cup and Coronation Cup tournaments, “Hampden in the sun” in 1957 and that magnificent European Cup win a decade later, in the perennial game of “Scottish Fitba Whitabootery” Celtic were always playing catch-up against Rangers.

Then, along came McCann to usher in The Rebel Years (1994-2025). Under McCann and more-so since Dermot Desmond bought the club and installed Peter Lawwell as Chief Executive, Celtic have overtaken Rangers and left them trailing in their wake.

Since 1994, the club has had 11 full-time managers, guiding the team through 1644 games, of which 1114 have been won – a winning percentage of 67.76%. These 11 Managers have accrued 47 trophies and turned around the long-accepted pecking order in Scottish Football.

Celtic's least successful full-time Manager was Lou Macari, the last manager to be appointed by the Families. Three subsequent Gaffers: Martin O'Neill, Ange Postecoglu and Neil Lennon are, in that descending order, the club's statistically most-successful bosses, all with a winning percentage of over 70% - that's how much things have changed since the guys running Celtic stopped repeating past mistakes.

Real Rangers and Family-Owned Celtic each had huge supports, they attracted the best Scottish players and they dominated Scottish Football. Then, things changed and money talked.

Rangers talked loudest: “For every pound they spend, we will spend ten” David Murray boasted, and, for a time it worked. But, he lost the trust of the Edinburgh money men as the financial world changed. The subsequent high heid yins at Ibrox didn't appear to learn from Murray's mistake, while across the city, Peter Lawwell came up with an alternative management strategy.

Now, the pendulum of football power has swung in Celtic's direction, and it is Rangers, under another new ownership, playing catch-up. Once again, the new high heid yins are splashing the cash on non-Scots we have never heard of.

Are they bound to suffer from the Managerial Madness which has bedevilled the club for the last decade and longer – or might they be willing to try something new? It will be interesting to see how things unfold, but, the early signs are uncertain. Truly, we are living in interesting times.

 

A Short History Lesson

REGULAR READERS of this blog need no additional reminder that I have a wee thing about goalkeepers and goalkeeping. The current situation around who will wear the number one Scotland jersey in Vaduz tonight strikes me as being our worst goalkeeping crisis for 64 or 65 years.

History Lesson: After sitting through 24 straight internationals, Bill Brown had won the first of what would be, at the time, a record 28 caps, against France, in our final game of a disastrous campaign in the 1958 World Cup Finals. But, by April, 1960, he had only played in five of Scotland's next eight games, because his club, Tottenham Hotspur had refused to release him for the other three.

They again told the SFA that Brown and team-mats Dave Mackay and John White would not be released to play against England on 9 April, 1960. The Scottish Selectors convened and named their team, with Rangers' George Niven named as Brown's replacement and set to win his first cap.

Niven, however, was suffering from a persistent back injury, which again flared-up and, a couple of days before the game, he was withdrawn and replaced by another debutant, Celtic's Frank Haffey, who played in a match which finished 1-1.

Fast forward 12 months. His fantastic club form for Airdrie, plus probably some SFA reaction to Tottenham's repeated refusal to release their three Scottish stars, had seen Lawrie Leslie become Scotland Number One. He was named in the team to travel to Wembley in April, 1961, however, he sustained a facial injury in a club game and with one eye totally shut, he was withdrawn from the team.

Tottenham again refused to release Brown, Niven was again injured, so, for the second successive year – Haffey got a late call-up; the rest is a sorry episode in Scottish football history.

In 1963, Scotland arranged what was then a near-annual treat, a short, three game end of season tour of Europe, in which they would face Norway, Republic of Ireland and Spain. Brown opted to miss the tour, to go to South Africa with Tottenham; Dave Mackay stuck with Scotland, while John White, after initially opting for the Scotland tour, changed his mind and joined Brown and Spurs in South Africa.

With Brown out, Scotland had a goalkeeping problem and two uncapped goalkeepers went on the tour – Burnley's Adam Blacklaw and Liverpool's Tommy Lawrence. Both, however, had come through the Under-23 team and were first-team regulars with their clubs in the top-flight in England. This is a state of affairs which is totally alien to Stevie Clarke.

The principal difference between then and now is that back then, the SFA had a line of succession. The Selectors didn't name a 22 or 23 man squad for each game back then, they would name a team and a reserve team. When Niven was named for the 1960 match, Haffey was named as reserve – he was the Under-23 goalkeeper at the time. There was an established line of successon.

Today, the Head Coach names his squad, generally naming three goalies – but when, as now, the first and second-choices are injured and the third suffers PTSD or Shell Shock, then suddenly the Head Coach has to earn his big salary.

Let's look at today's line of succession for the Scotland team:

1. Craig Gordon - (currently injured)

2. Angus Gunn – (currently injured)

3. Liam Kelly – (currently injured)

4. Zander Clark – (currently injured)

5. Robbie McCrorie – (currently injured)

6. Cieran Slicker – (PTSD – shell shock)

7. Ross Doohan – (without a club and second-choice at his last club)

8. Callan McKenna – (18 years old, untried)

This goalkeeping crisis is unprecedented in the 150-years-plus history of Scottish International Football. I believe only once before, certainly in my lifetime, when Scotland has had to make such a left-field goalkeeping selection as the Doohan/McKenna call-ups. That was in 1948, when Southampton's Ian Black, then a 24-year-old with fewer than 20 first team appearances was called-up to face England, at Hampden. Legend has it he had the game of his life in front of one of the SFA Selectors in a league game. The Selector had gone to watch another potential Scotland player, but had been so-impressed by Black, he persuaded the rest of the Selection Committee to pick him for what would be his only cap.

One further sign of how badly we are off for potential international goalkeepers comes from a list of the Scottish Premier Division goalkeepers in the final fixtures of this season:

• Celtic – Kasper Schmeichel (Danish)

• Rangers – Jack Butland (English)

• Hibernian – Jordan Smith (English)

• Dundee United – Dave Richards (Welsh)

• Aberdeen – Dimitar Mitov (Bulgarian)

• St Mirren – Zach Hemming (English)

• Hearts – Zander Clark (Scottish) – injured after 22 minuts, replaced by fellow Scot Ryan Fulton

• Motherwell – Ellery Balcombe (English)

• Kilmarnock – Robbie McCrorie (Scottish)

• Dundee – Trevor Carson (Northern Irish)

• Ross County – Jordan Amissah (German)

• St Johnstone – Ross Sinclair (Scottish)

So, 13 goalkeepers: 4 Scots, 4 English, 1 each from Bulgaria, Denmark, Germany, Northern Ireland and Wales in our top domestic league, while, as far as I can see, Slicker is the only Scot anywhere close to getting a game for an English Premiership club.

Slicker is listed on the SFA website in the Under-21 squad, along with fellow goalkeepers Jack Newman (Livingston) and Vincent Angelini (Al-Riyadh). Thus, we should perhaps regard the current situation as a complete one-of, a tsunami of injuries and bad luck conspiring to land us in really deep doo-dah.

Maybe, if our football writers did their homework, they would admit, Stevie Clarke is in uncharted waters here and maybe he deserves a bit of understanding and sympathy rather than calls for his sacking – because, as thing stand – who else could do better?

 

Disaster For Scotland - And Kilmarnock

A QUESTION for his critics: If not Stevie Clarke – who? I fear we are now in one of these periods when the wilder elements of the Tartan Army, the Lap-Top Loyal and the Celtic Family Apologists have united and decided, the current temporary custodian of the poisoned chalice – being Scotland Head Coach – has to go. Except, as used to happen when the Conservative Party was reasonably competent, succession planning would consist of an acceptable replacement for the incumbent emerging, rather like a new Doctor Who regenerating. Which has me thinking, Billy Piper – why not?

It matters not a jot whether Clarke limps on, “A Dead Man Walking”, or says: “Bugger this for a gemme o' sojers” and walks away - what's the use of changing drivers when the steering is jammed, the suspension is knackered, the big end has gone and the body-work is rotten? Scottish Fitba is a basket case, money cannot fix it, and in any case, the guys supposedly running the show couldnae run a bath.

We find, in th cold light of dawn, we already have a convenient scapegoat for Friday night's latest “Disaster for Scotland” - if I may rehash one of dear old David Francey's stock lines. Step forward Cieran Slicker, a young man who seemed to freeze in the headlights when thrown on following Angus Gunn's early injury, to suffer what might have been the worst game for a Scottish goalkeeper to endure since 1961.

I am grateful to the BBC Sport Scotland website, for pointing out, Slicker was actually Scotland's sixth-choice goalkeeper, behind:

1. Craig Gordon – injured

2. Angus Gunn – injured to be replaced by Slicker

3. Liam Kelly – injured

4. Zander Clark – injured

5. Robbie McCrorie – injured in Friday's warm-up

It has long been customary for a really-young goalkeeper to accompany the Scotland squad, for experience and to act as a ball boy during the specialist goalkeeping training. The current incumbent in this role is 18 year-old Bournemouth kid Callum McKenna. I once, for fun and out of near-boredom, wrote a short story in which this youngster had to be thrown-in at the deep end and became a hero – might life imitate art for McKenna in Vadus, Liechtenstein, on Monday night?

Me – I'd call-up Alan Rough; “Scruffy” might be 73 now, but, I reckon he could do a job against Monday night's opponents, nae bother and, let's face it, we don't have many active alternatives.

One of the rites of passage of being Scottish is, when we sign-up for the Tartan Army, we are initiated into that very-select group: ABE – Anyone But England, when it comes to who we want to win the World Cup and European Championship final tournaments we are outside, looking-in on. Well, I reckon the men running our game, the Scottish Club Managers and Directors running our top clubs, have started a rival group – ABS – we will sign Anyone But A Scotsman, when it comes to signing new players, particularly goalkeepers. Until this changes – we are only going to get worse internationally.

I have written this before, I will surely write it again: until our clubs are forced to adopt Chic Young's “eight diddies” rule and force our clubs to only field a maximum of three NSQ that's Non-Scottish-Qualified players in domestic games, we are going nowhere internationally. We have to trust our young players, and give them game time with their clubs, so they might be half-way ready for the international game. Having an international player pathway which works as well might not be a bad thing either.

But, as long as we continue to stagger along as we have been – there will be a lot more Disasters for Scotland.

By the way, Friday night's game was a Friendly. Here is a ranked breakdown of how Scotland has performed in the various types of games since we began playing internationally, back in 1872:

• Nations League game (2010-2025) 24 games – won 58.4%

• Home Internationals (1872-1984) – 287 games – won 56.4%

• World Cup qualifiers (1949-2022) – 137 games – won 50.4%

• European Championship qualifiers (1966-2025) – 123 games – won 47.2%

• Friendlies (1929-2025) – 238 games – won 39.5%

• European Championship finals (1992-2025) – 12 games – won 16.7%

• World Cup finals (1954-1998) – 23 games – won 13%

That league table demonstrates all too-clearly, our ability to mess-up in friendlies is only exceeded by our inability to perform on the biggest stages, it's all part of being Scottish.

SCOTTISH FOOTBALL lost one of its unsung heroes last week, with the passing of Richard Cairns. Richard was “KTID – Killie Till I Die” in bad times and in the occasional good, he was around Rugby Park – just a short walk from his home in Dundonald Road. If the club asked for fans' assistance, Richard was in the front line of the volunteers, he was a true fanatic.

His regular pre-match spot was behind the Frank Beattie Stand, selling programmes and passing the time of day with the many fans of Killie, and the visiting sides, who knew him. He was a font of all knowledge in the matter of Kilmarnock FC and, back when I was writing obituaries on footballers who passed on, if there was a Killie connection, Richard was my first port of call for information.

I would call him up, usually to be greeted with: “Who's deid noo”, then I would be furnished with helpful information and insights. He was Editor of the short-lived but highly influential fanzine “Killie Ken” a publication which did much to encourage the guerrilla movement which got rid of the old guard and brought-in the Fleeting Revolution which turned around the club's fortunes in the 1990s.

During that time, Richard came up with one of the best bits of fanzine writing I have ever seen. He noticed a trend around Rugby Park, whereby th club had, over the years signed a lot of players who as a general rule were a good player's useless brother.

He listed many of these “haddies” - along with their better brothers, before coming up with a zinger of a final sentence, something like: “We've been doing it all wrong for years, what we should be doing is signing a really bad player's brother – is Rangers' Iain Ferguson an only child?”

Richard spent part of his working life in what was thankless missionary work. He was employed by South Ayrshire Council, working in an office in the centre of Ayr, surrounded by Ayr United fams. But, it never broke him. Rest In Peace old friend, you will be badly missed.