It's Been A Good Week For The Diddies

THIS IS one of those very occasional weeks when we poor saps who identify with one of Scotland's 40 “Diddy Teams” are allowed to have a quiet chortle, as the Celtic Family goes into melt-down at their heroes' inability to beat the “Sheep Shaggers” at Hampden. Schadenfreude is a very Scottish feeling, and how we laughed as we watched that temporary stage at Celtic Park being dismantled, while Sean South from Croy sobbed uncontrolaby in the corner.

Elsewhere it's a Managerial Merry-go-round, with Derek McInnes moving from Rugby Park to Tynecastle, Del Boy now has more Scottish clubs than Donald J Trump, but, if he can bring silverware back to Gorgie will be a lot more popular.

Stuart Kettlewell steps into the vacancy at Kilmarnock, while his old gig at Motherwell is again vacant, as are the jobs at Dens Park and Ibrox, where nothing is liable to happen until the proposed take-over is finalised. Then will come the tense wait for white smoke and the big reveral.

Livingston is back in the top-flight, while in what to fitba romantics like me is the big story of the spring, Clydebank, if not yet back in the Senior ranks, took a giant step-up from the West of Scotland to the Lowland League and can n ow look upwards towards a possible return to Division Two.

The phoenix-like rise of the Bankies is a terrific tale, it would make a great Netflix Sports series and I wish them well this season. Mind you, I always felt, Auchinleck Talbot might be the team to make the leap, so, congratulations again to Clydebank for beating them to it.

NONE OF THE above matters to the mainstream media (such as there is left) in Scotland. The intelligence platoon of Football's Scotia Nostra are getting their teeth into their favourite part of the year – when they can speculate freely, and mostly wrongly, about arrivals and exits at Ibrox and Celtic Park.

This is an annual summer treat, but, the difference this year, is that the major unanswered question is: “Who's going to be the new Rangers' manager?” It's not, for once, about new strikers, or the midfield play-maker who can make a difference, it's about who gets one of the three biggest jobs in Scottish Football.

At the dafter end of the Scottish Football Writers Association membership, some guys who should, in reality be some years away from studying Tena Man products are showing interest – they are positively wetting themselves at the prospect of Ancelotti Minor getting the keys to that expensive training ground up in Milngavie, more-so if, as is being suggested, he brings along the legend that is Luka Modric in an on-field coaching role.

The return of the Prodigal, Steven Gerrard, remains a possible, however, there are suggrestions that he is being lined-up to return to Liverpool, as Arne Slot's Number Two.

SPEAKING OF Liverpool, the sad death of Willie Stevenson this week, at the grand age of 85, marked another significant loss to football fans of my generation.

I have long felt Stevenson was one of the unluckiest players in Scottish football history. Had he been performing in another era, he would have accrued a shed-load of Scotland caps, but, no sooner had he made the Rangers' number six shirt his own than along came an all-time great – one James Curran Baxter – to steal the shirt off his back and, good, great player even, that Stevenson was, nobody could go head-to-head with “Stanley”.

But, Willie Shankly knew a good player when he saw one, and on going to Anfield, Stevenson became one of the more under-rated and more-influential cogs in the first great Red Machine which the Wizard of Glenbuck assembled.

He then moved on to another club where un der-stated greatness is valued, to run down his 550-game playing career with spells at Stoke City, Tranmere Rovers, Limerick, Hellenic in South Africa, Vancouver Whitecaps and finally Macclesfield Town, where he was Player-Manager.

He remained in Macclesfield, running a pub, then a contract cleaning company, before retirement. A Leither, he learned the game with the well-respected Edina Hearts nursery, before going to Ibrox as a 17-year-old.

His only representative honours were a single run-out with the Scottish League XI, in a 7-1 Ibrox win over The Irish League, in October, 1959. That League team was an interesting one: George Niven (Rangers), John Grant (Hibs), George Thomson, John Cumming (both Hearts), Bobby Evans (Celtic), Stevenson, Alex Scott (Rangers), John White (Falkirk), Ian St John, Pat Quinn (both Motherwell), George Mulhall (Aberdeen). Eight full internationalists in that eleven.

There had been one further outing in navy blue, at the end of the previous season, when he had gone on Scotland's then normal end-of-season tour of Europe, on which he played in the non-cap game against Jutland. That “Scotland XI” was an interesting selection: Bert Slater (Falkirk); Dunky Mackay (Celtic), Dougie Baird (Partick Thistle), Eric Smith (Celtic), Jackie McGuigan (St Mirren), Stevenson, Alex Scott (both Rangers), John White (Falkirk), Andy Kerr (Kilmarnock – Capt), Denis Law (Huddersfield Town), Bertie Auld (Celtic). Seven full Scotland caps in that team, whose goals in a 303 draw were scored by Law, Kerr and Auld.

In 1965, he was on the brink of finally playing for Scotland, after injury kept Baxter out of the Scotland team to travel to Naples for what was a “winner-takes-all” World Cup qualifier against Italy. Jock Stein, then in his first stint as Scotland boss, named Stevenson as Baxyer's replacement, but Willie Shankly refused to release him for the game, just as Matt Busby refused to release Law and a weakened Scotland lost badly.

With Rangers, he won a League Championship medal in 1959 and a Scottish Cup one the following season. At Anfield, he won thee League in 1964 and again in 1966, the FA Cup in 1965, the Charity Shield in 1964, 1965 and 1966 and was in the team which lost in the final of the Cup Winners Cup in 1966.

Rest in Peace Willie.

 

Scottsih Goalkeepers - A Much-Maligned Bunch

JOCK STEIN famously had little time, or even regard for goalkeepers. Perhaps it's just, we net-minders are totally misunderstood by the numerically superior outfield players, whose errors we are on a weekly basis, called-upon to mitigate against.

This disregard for goalies has long been particularly evident in Scotland; and, speaking as a Scottish goalkeeper, I feel it proof that Johann Lamont was at least correct in one of her points against the Scottish electorate – the too stupid one fits in well when it comes to our regard for our keepers.

I fear, the disease is catching, when I look at Stevie Clarke's latest squad, for the June matches against Iceland and Liechtenstein. OK, we have to go on without Craig Gordon at some point, so these two games – while he is on the injured list in any case - are as good as any to leave out arguably our best-ever keeper, but, succession selection has hardly ever been something our managers or before them selectors were good at, so why should Stevie be any different.

For these two games he has selected Angus Gunn – by far the most-experienced of the trio, but without a club after leaving Norwich City at the end of his contract; Robbie McCrorie – second choice at his club, Kilmarnock, and Cieran Slicker, at best, second-choice for relegated Ipswich Town, for whom he has played just one game – in the FA Cup.

OK, right now, there are not that many Scottish goalkeepers playing regularly in the SPFL, far-less in England or abroad, indeed the fourtysomething Gordon has been the stand-out Scottish goalkeeper this season.

Liam Kelly did ok, without being exceptional, during his run in the Rangers' first team, but he has been over-looked, while there really are few obvious alternatives elsewhere.

The onus would appear to be on Gunn and his agent, to find him a new, high-profile club and for him to display the sort of form which cements his international place, or, for some young Scottish 'keeper to make such a case for selection, Clarke cannot over-look him. But, until either thing happens, we definitely have a problem at the back.

I see Clarke quoted as looking for non-Scottish goalkeepers, who maybe have a Scottish grannie. Many in Scottish rugby are not happy that, of late Scottish National Coaches have been too-keen to go down that route; Football doing likewise might not go down too-well with the Tartan Army.

Which brings me back to a point I have repeatedly made, but to no effect on the erseholes along the Sixth Floor Corridor at Hampden: We could start by, as I have repeatedly said, initiating Chick Young's “Eight Diddies” rule and encourage Scottish talent.

As things stand, assuming he recovers from his current injury, I can see Craig Gordon still being picked for Scotland as a 50-year-old.

Clarke has named a 25-man squad, but, only 7 of them, 28% play their football in Scotland, and of those, only 2 – John Souttar and Lee Miller could be said to be first picks for their club sides.

Now I appreciate we have been selecting players who earn their weekly wages outside Scotland for some 130 years, and as in so-many walks of life, “The High Road to England” and of late beyond that, has long been an enticing prospect for our brightest and best, but, maybe if the High Heid Yins at Hampden spent less time jockeying for their places on the SFA gravy train and spent a bit more time promoting young Scottish players at their clubs, we could see a few more home-based players.

I am not one of these romantics who calls for an all-tartan XI; that idea was, I think, firmly kicked into touch around 1966, but, while the bigger money available in England and abroad will always be an attraction in a job with a limited shelf life, we really have to make real efforts to raise the standard in our domestic game, so we can maybe get more home-based Scots into the international squad.

Speaking of which, the SFA came up with the notion of “Performance Schools” in 2012, to “hot house” our best young talent. There are currently seven such schools: Hazelhead Academy, Aberdeen, St John's RC High School, Dundee, Broughton High School, Edinburgh, Graeme High School, Falkirk, Holyrood Secondary, Glasgow, Grange Academy, Kilmarnock and Braidhurst High School, Motherwell.

The scheme has been operating for 13 years now, but only four of the current squad, 20% are identified as Performance School graduates. They are: Max Johnson, Billy Gilmour, Connor Barron and Nathan Patterson; I might be wrong, but, I would have hoped for a higher figure by now.

KILMARNOCK is my Senior team, although, for family reasons, I keep an eye on Liverpool (the Shankly connection) and Carlisle United. The Cumbrians dropped out of the English League this season, but, another of my teams is celebrating.

Lugar Boswell Thistle is my Junior team of choice, but, because I live in their home village, I have a wee interest in Glenafton Athletic. But, I was born in Muirkirk, my Maternal Grand-Father was President of their predecessor club, Muirkirk Athletic, so, I have a soft spot for Muirkirk Juniors.

Well, they are currently celebrating promotion to Division One of the West of Scotland League, perhaps the first thing they have had to cheer about since those far-off days when they had the teenaged Eric Caldow at full-back.

I am delighted for Secretary Billy Tait and the other die-hards on the committee, who have kept the club going through the lean years, they deserve their season in the comparative sun. Well done too to the management team and the players, they have given a village which has known too-many hard times of late, a reason to smile.

 

Some Scots At Goodison Park

BEING AN OLD ROMANTIC, I got caught-up in the emotion, watching Sunday's final Everton Men's Game, at Goodison Park. Merseyside has a great bond with Clydeside, when it comes to football, so, I thought I'd reflect on picking an all-time of Everton Scots. So, here goes:

Straight away, we have a shoo-in, only one Everton goalkeeper has played for Scotland, while with the club, so I will give the Number One jersey to that guy – George Wood, with a sympathetic, close but no cigar to a man who was in a few Scotland squads, while an Evertonian, but never got capped. That man is Ian Turner.

I am going with a back four, so, on the right, there was only one man I could pick, the first right back I saw live in a Scotland shirt – Alex Parker. The man from Dreghorn broke through with Falkirk, before going south to serve Everton with distinction.

On the right-hand side of central defence, I am going with the legend that is Richard Gough, who will have by his side another man to have a lengthy career and feature for both Rangers and Everton, that man is David Weir.

The number three shirt is another one where I have to pick a player who never won a full Scotland cap, but was certainly good enough. My left back is Sandy Brown, who won one Scottish League cap with Partick Thistle, then gave Everton a decade of great service.

My midfield four comprises two old-fashioned wingers, plus a couple of midfielders. On the right I have gone for Alex Scott, who moved to Goodison Park from Ibrox after losing his place in the Rangers' team to Willie Henderson, but continued to win Scotland caps, at a time when he was competing against Henderson, Jimmy Johnstone, Charlie Cooke and Davie Wilson and Bobby Lennox.

The number eight shirt has to go to a true Everton legend – Alex Young, “The Golden Vision” - he broke through with Hearts, but really found himself during his long spell with Everton, where he had iconic status. He was also one of the nicest men I ever had to interview.

A few great Scottish Evertonians have a case to be selected beside Young in midfield, but, for me there can only be one guy in there - “The Wee Barra” - the five foot four giant that was Bobby Collins.

On the left I have selected another Wee Man who was big inside Goodison – Wee Alex Troup, whose crosses were fundamental to so many of Dixie Dean's headed goals for Everton. Dundonian Troup is another who was scandalously under-capped by Scotland, but, in fairness, he was competing against Alan Morton for the left-winger slot.

Up front, it's a case of perm two from three – the choice is: Duncan Ferguson, Graeme Sharp or Andy Gray. With the supply they are going to get from that midfield quartet, whichever two got on would surely score plenty of goals.

I appreciate, I've had to leave out a few Tartan legends: James McFadden, Stephen Naismith, Ian Durrant, Stuart McCall, Pat Nevin, John Connolly, Jim Pearson, Bruce Rioch, Asa Hartford, Jimmy Garbiel, to name but a few.

A final word on Sunday's extravaganza. Not many Scots get the better of Alistair McCoist when it comes to a battle of words, so fair play to big “Duncan Disorderly”, who brought the house down about: “Scoring the winner against Manchester United, back when they were a good team.”

Even Rio Ferdinand, who was meant to be marking him that day, had to laugh at that one.

And, by the way, like many Scots whose loyalties lie elsewhere, I have long been critical of Celtic for stealing “You'll Never Walk Alone” from Liverpool. But, I learned on Sunday, song theft is a two-way streeet, after hearing the Everton version of “The Celtic Song”.

 

This Post Could Ignite A War

TWO OR THREE editions of Ayrshire Magazine ago, a guy named David Milloy gave us his opinion on a Greatest-Ever Ayrshire Football XI. David's selection, however, limited itself to players who had played at Senior level. It wasn't a bad team either, although I would question how he could possibly leave out the great Eric Caldow.

However, the real heart of the beautiful game in God's County is not found at Somerset or Rugby Park, but at grounds such as Beechwood Park, Auchinleck, Meadow Park in Irvine or Valefield, in Kilbirnie, where, for all the clubs now play in the West of Scotland League – tier six of the SFA Football Pyramid, the game is still referred to as Junior Fitba.

Junior Football's heartland has always been in wee mining villages like New Cumnock, home of Glenafton Athletic, or former ironworks towns such as Kilbirnie, where the locals, after a week of toil in heavy industry, still had enough pith left of a Saturday afternoon to kick lumps out of each other. It is said of the typical Junior centre-half: “if it moves, he kicks it, if it doesn't move, he kicks it until it does”; while a good Junior full-back would: “maybe let the man past him, occasionally allow the ball to beat him, but, never allowed man and ball to get past him.”

Local loyalties are everything in the Junior game, so, this selection is sure to be contested, however, here is my Best-Ever Ayrshire Junior XI.

Goalkeeper: Cumnock fans swear by Girvan man Billy Bentley. Up in Kilbirnie, Tom McQueen, big Gordon's Dad, would get the vote, while in Irvine, they still worship Joe Cassidy, but for me, the Number One has to be my boyhood hero – Jock Fraser of Lugar Boswell Thistle. Big Jock played for Lugar for 20 years, signing-off with an appearance in the club's only Junior Cup Final, in 1956. I will draw a veil over the result that day – Jock deserved to go out a winner, but, it didn't happen.

Right-Back: Another of that Lugar team gets the nod here. Hughie Neil was a true Lugar boy, a Schoolboy international, although he played in midfield in the Cup team Wwhen he went senior he reverted to right-back, where he played through from the Fourth to the First Division (now the Premiership) with Carlisle United, before becoming the Cumbrian club's Chief Scout. He died following a crash on the A74 as he returned to Carlisle from a scouting trip to Scotland.

Left-Back: I could not leave out Talbot back and Club Captain Willie Young as the left-back. He was outstanding during Talbot's run of three successive Scottish Junior Cup wins.

Right-Half: Another easy selection. This player is widely-regarded as the hardest man ever to step onto a Junior pitch, the number four shirt goes to the legend that is Willie Frew, hard as nails, but could play a bit and also a wonderful singer.

Centre-Half: The man in the number five shirt has to be a McCulloch. I could have picked New Cumnock's Sam, another from that legendary Talbot team, but, instead I have gone back to the 1940s and 1950s and picked Jimmy “Maxie” McCulloch, the legendary Cumnock Juniors Captain.

Left-Half: Their was a brief interregnum after “Maxie” retired, before his son Bobby “Maxie2” McCulloch emerged to give even longer service to the Townhead club than his father had. Bobby twice led Cumnock to Scottish Cup glory, before running down his career at Ardrossan Winton Rovers.

Right-Winger: Wingers are meant to infuriate, entertain and set-up chances for others and few met all three accomplishments as another of those Talbot legends, my choice for the number seven shirt – Kenny Paterson. He could be a grumpy wee so-and-so, but, he could play a bit.

Inside-Right: I initially was going to go with Davie McIllroy, a key player when Kilbirnie Ladeside won the Scottish Junior Cup in 1977, unfortunately, he missed the final and had to wait years for the medal he deserved to get. Davie later played a major role at Winton Rovers and, in his day job as a PE teacher, he sent many a good youngster on the right football road. He was a great servant to the Junior game. But, for all my great respect for Davie, when push came to shove, I just could not leave out the great Ian “Stinker” Dick. Ian is one of several guys from the Cumnock area who, had he been wired properly, could easily have played for Scotland at senior level. He had skill in abundance, but, there was something lacking – like a functioning brain cell. The best “Stinker” story comes from the late Davie Macfarlane, ex-Rangers and Kilmarnock, who on his Glenafton debut, against Talbot, was fouled by Sam McCulloch, who helped him up and said: “That was your welcome to the Juniors Davie.” Macfarlane was then fouled three times in quick succession by “Stinker” and, after the third foul, he told Dick: “You're a fuckin' half-wit”. “Aye, Ah ken” was the response. That was Stinker.

Centre-Forward: He may be the most-decorated Manager in the history of the Junior game, have eclipsed the club records set by his illustrious predecessor, Willie Knox. But, as a player Tucker Sloan certainly knew where the goals were, scoring many in his career, so, he gets to wear the number nine shirt.

Inside-Left: The history of Glenafton Athletic has a few ups and downs, but, in the early 1960s, the club had a spell of real success. Only the Scottish Cup eluded them and the inspiration and mainstay of that team was a New Cumnock native, so that man, Danny “Puskas” McCulloch claims the number ten shirt.

Left-Winger: I was initially going to give the number 11 shirt to that Meadow legend “Hooky” Walker, a man who gave many years of sterling service to the club, but, in the end, my many years of living in New Cumnock told, and I opted instead for Andrew “Nick” Brown. George Burley, no less, told me, the most naturally-gifted player he ever played with was Andrew, a team mate at Cumnock Academy. Later, playing with Talbot, it was said, he would do nothing for 88 minutes, then win you the game in the last two.

Manager: I could always nominate Tucker Sloan as Player-Manager, but, if we have to have somebody running things from the technical area, there are only two men in contention, the great Willie Knox, or “Sconie” Davidson from Kilbirnie. We should maybe give them a half each. Or, to avoid disputes, I give you a left-field selection, man of many clubs Jamesie Kirkland.

Ends

 

The Shrinks Will Love this Boost To Business

I BELIEVE the mental health industry is in for a major boost in Scotland, as the long drawn-out Rangers take-over case continues. I can honestly see a lot of Bears with sore heads, requiring treatment, once the full details of the American buy-out are revealed.

Wee snippets are already coming out; with it being widely suggested that, if the American deal goes through, Rangers will effectively become a feeder team for Leeds United. If this happens, and at the moment it might well only be “paper talk”, but, should it come to pass, it will be a difficult decision for the wilder elements among “Ra Peepul” to get their heads around.

By every known measure, Rangers are a bigger club than Leeds, with a more-gilded escutcheon. However, they play in the comparative backwater of the Scottish Professional Football League, while, next season, United will be in the closest competition Football has to a licence to print money – the English Premiership.

Thus, in the pecking order beloved of North American sport – United play in a major league, Rangers in a minor one. Just how they will explain to there new American masters, that Rangers will be playing in Europe next season, while Leeds will not – now that will be an interesting conversation.

The other big as yet unanswered question of the take-over is: who will be Manager next season? Barry Ferguson's managerial record to date is far from stellar, but, I honestly believe, the only club he could ever commit to unreservedly is Rangers – technically, he may have his failings, but, as a motivator of Rangers' players, I feel the club would struggle to get as good as he and the current management team – all of whom know what is required to put a winning Rangers team on the park.

The fact is, unless they pay unreasonable wages, even our Big Two are going to struggle to recruit A-List, even B-List players. So they are recruiting C-Listers, who might, with the correct coaching and motivation evolve into B or A-Listers. Celtic have been doing this better than Rangers of late, but, the gap isn't that wide.

Back when I was involved in Scottish Basketball, just about every club had one or two imported Americans. These guys went through the motions in most games, only really stirring themselves for games with David Murray's MIM team. I see the same thing happening with some of the current Rangers' squad, only bursting a gut v Celtic or in Europe.

I have long maintained, both of our Big Two would be better off recruiting good native talent, guys who know what pulling on that strip means. I am sure, a Recruiting Scottish programme, backed-up by better coaching, would produce better results for both clubs.

And, if The Old Firm could show this strategy working, who knows, the diddy clubs might also lose this current fascination for hiring-in third or fourth rate non-Scots, to the overall betterment of Scottish Fitba.

EVERYONE HAS a team against which they judge all others. For generations even very-good Scotland sides were written-off as: “No a patch on the Wembley Wizards”. Then we beat reigning World Champions England in 1967, and the Mark Two Wizards became the benchmark.

It's the same at club level, for me, no Junior team will ever come close to: Jock Fraser; Davie Love, Charlie Cathie; Andy McEwan, Jim Baird, Jim Donnelly; Alex Bingham, Jim Collins, Alex Sharp, Hughie Neil and Eric Wilkie – the Lugar Boswell Thistle team which battled through 13 games to reach the 1956 Scottish Junior Cup Final. No we will not mention the result in that game, the start of a litany of Hampden Heartbreak for me.

When I moved on to following Senior football, the benchmark was set by the Kilmarnock team I followed: Jimmy Brown; Jim Richmond, Matt Watson; Frank Beattie, Willie Toner, Bobby Kennedy; Rab Stewart, Jackie McInally, Andy Kerr, Bertie Black and Billy Muir. I am not the only Rugby Parker of my vintage who will tell you, that team was better than the title-winning side of 1965, although one or two were in both teams.

OK, Jimmy Brown was bought from Hearts, Jim Richmond from Falkirk, Kerr from Manchester City, but the likes of Watson, Beattie, Kennedy, McInally, Black and Muir came through the ranks at Kilmarnock. Under Walter McCrae's firm hand, the club took many local kids and made them footballing men. The club had a great relationship with the local Kilmarnock Amateurs and Saxone clubs and if you were any good at all in the then flourishing schools football scene in Ayrshire, your name was on-file inside Rugby Park.

To be fair to current Manager Derek McInnes, the team he sent out to beat St Johnstone last weekend contained eight Scots – I firmly believe that ought to be the minimum required for the Scottish League. Five of the eight listed substitutes were also Scottish, so while some other Premier Division clubs are fielding virtual League of Nations XIs, Killie are giving Scottish talent a game, even if most of our Scots are from outwith Ayrshire.

But, the fact that the Killie Youth team beat Dundee in the Youth Cup final last week gives me a bit of hope, that some day, not too far ahead, we will again see a Kilmarnock team packed full of home-grown Ayrshire talent.

IN THE FEVERED world of English football writing, where people who can barely do joined-up writing, and certainly don't do joined-up thinking, the game throughout this season has been a twin-track one. When the fans with lap tops weren't speculating on exactly when Tottenham Hotspur would sack Big Ange, they were reporting on the latest catastrophe to befall Manchester United.

How delightful then, to those of us who love a bit of schadenfreu, to see “The worst-managed Spurs team ever” and the “Worst-ever Manchester United team” just 90 minutes away from an all-English European final. And, just for added fun, a Chelsea team which has also come in for huge criticism this campaign, is also looking good for another European final.