Youth Development - A Scottish Footballing Oxymoron

 

The legendary Lost Boys of 1989
 

ENGLAND has just won the European Under-21 Championships, well done to them. Unfortunately, I don't see a lot of the members of the winning team going on to have distinguished careers in English football. I might be wrong in this, but, given how, in the top-flight of the English domestic game, with most of the clubs now being foreign-owned and managed, English players are what is known in the animal world as “An Endangered Species” very few of these lads will go on to become household names I fear.

The win was England's first at this level since 1984. So, I thought I'd go back and have a look at what happened to that victorious team from 39 years ago. Back then, the final was a two-legged affair, as with this year: England v Spain.

England won the first leg, in Seville, 1-0; future Rangers star Mel Sterland scored the goal and the England team was: Hucker (Queen's Park Rangers); Sterland (Sheffield Wednesday), Thomas (Tottenham Hotspur), Bracewell (Stoke City), Watson, (Norwich City), Stevens (Brighton & Hove Albion), Callaghan (Watford), Gayle (Birmingham City), Hateley (Portsmouth), Hodge (Nottingham Forest), Brock (Oxford United). Sub used: D'Avray (Ipswich Town).

For the second leg, at Sheffield United's Bramall Lane, which England won 2-0, Gary Bailey of Manchester United was in goals, with Neil Pickering of Sunderland at left back, David Mountfield of Everton at left-half, while Danny Wallace of Southampton got 20 minutes off the bench.

So, England used 16 players in that two-legged final. Of these Bailey (2 caps), Bracewell (3), Hateley (32), Hodge (24), Sterland (1), Stevens (7), Thomas (1), Wallace (1) and Watson (12) went on to win full England caps.

To have 9 players from 16 used train-on to win full caps is a better than average result from an age group side – that's a 56.25% conversion rate, Iwonder how this current title-winning England side will measure-up by the time their careers are over, I would forecast, not as well.

What, I hear you ask, has sent old Socrates down that particular lane? Well, it followed a conversation I had this week with one of my fellow coffin dodgers. He spends a lot of his time just now watching his grandson's sporting progress. This youngster is the son of a former Scottish Schools Under-15 cap, who went down the road straight from school, but was back up it fairly-quickly. He did enjoy a reasonable career in the lower Scottish Leagues, but, he never achieved his potential.

With his father's experience to guide him, the kid is not apparently putting all his eggs in his football basket – he is also a nationally-ranked athlete. However, his grandfather tells me, he has had to move schools – the SFA now wants their more-promising youngsters “hot-housed” in regional Schools of Football. He is in the Academy of a Scottish Premiership club, but, like his grandfather Ah hae Ma doots about this system.

According to my informant, the club seems only interested in the two or three players in the group who are showing real potential, the rest are there to make-up the numbers.

Back in 1984, Scotland had qualified for the quarter-finals, where we lost to Yugoslavia. This time round, we finished fourth in our five nation qualifying group, managing just one win from our eight games, when we beat bottom side Kazakhstan.

I cannot honestly say we have gone backwards in the past 40 years, but, I reckon we have, at best, stood still over that period and we have to ask ourselves:

• Is this acceptable?

• Is it good enough?

Writing the above sent me back to the record book, to see just how Scotland has done in this particular championship, since the first, back in 1978.

Back then, we lost-out to what was then Czechoslovakia on goal difference, after we had tied at the top of the qualifying group.

We improved in the 1980s, when we were a power in Europe at this level:

• 1980 – quarter-finalists

• 1982 – semi-finalists, lost 1-2 to England

• 1984 – semi-finalists

• 1986 – failed to get out of the qualifying group

• 1988 – quarter-finalists.

The 1990s began badly, when we failed to get out of the qualifying group in 1990. This then became something of a roller coaster decade:

• 1992 – semi-finalists lost 0-1 to Sweden

• 1994 – failed to get out of the qualifying round

• 1996 – finished fourth, lost to France in the third/fourth play-off

• 1998 – failed to get out of the qualifying round

The 2000s have been a disaster. We have competed in 13 Under-21 Championships; we reached the play-off rounds in 2004 and again in 2011, otherwise, in 2000, 2002, 2006, 2007, 2009, 2013, 2015, 2017, 2019, 2021 and 2023 we have failed to get out of our qualifying group.

Overall, we have won 76 of the 192 games we have played in these championships, that's a winning percentage of 39.6%. We have also accrued just 47.4% of the available points.

I appreciate, taking it from just one tournament, between 1976 and 1979 is in many ways an unfair comparison, however, in that initial tournament, we had a 50% win record and accrued 58.3% of the available points – that's our base line.

We have contested 23 Under-21 Championships since that initial tournament and in only 8 of those have we equalled or bettered that initial 50% wins performance. In the 11 tournaments between 1978 and 2000 we posted a 42.9% winning record and accrued 49.6% of the available points.

In the 12 tournaments of this third millennium, we have won only 37% of the matches and accrued a mere 45.7% of the available points. We haven't reached the sharp end of the tournament in 27 years, indeed the last Scotland Under-21 squad to play a meaningful game in Europe – that third-place play-off against France back in 1996 was: Derek Stillie (Aberdeen), Scott Marshall (Arsenal), Jackie McNamara (Celtic), Steven Pressley, Christian Dailly (both Dundee United), Jamie Fullarton (St Mirren), Stephen Crawford (Raith Rovers), Charlie Miller (Rangers), Jim Hamilton (Dundee), Simon Donnelly (Celtic), Allan Johnston (Heart of Midlothian), Colin Meldrum (Kilmarnock), Stuart Gray (Celtic), Martin Baker (St Mirren), Stephen Glass (Aberdeen), Neil Murray (Rangers), Andy Liddell (Barnsley), Brian McLaughlin (Celtic).

Of these 18 players, only 8 (44.4%) - McNamara, Pressley, Dailly, Crawford, Miller, Donnelly, Johnston and Glass went on to win even one full cap.

Of the French squad which beat us – 11 players, including the likes of Patrick Vieira, Claude Makélélé, Robert Pires and Sylvain Wiltord (that's 61.1%) trained-on to win full caps.

So, quite clearly, we've been getting it wrong for years, which speaks volumes for the way Stevie Clarke has galvanised our big team, given the foundations are crumbling. However, if we are not bringing through the talent to replace the big names when they depart, I can see us continuing to stagnate internationally.

We've either been marking time or going backwards for years, is it too much to hope for enlightenment striking the numpties along the sixth floor corridor at Hampden and things improving for young, home-grown Scottish talent.

Which brings me back to the youngster whose grandfather got me thinking. Doesn't he and his contemporaries deserve a better shot at glory than they are getting?

I finish with what I think is an interesting aside on this. Scott Marshall and Neil Murray, from the 1996 squad which lost to France were also two of the legendary “Lost Boys” - the squad which Craig Brown managed to the 1989 FIFA Under-16 World Cup Final, where they were robbed of victory by a clearly over-age Saudi Arabia team. Only three members of that fantastic Scotland squad – Andy McLaren, Brian O'Neil and Paul Dickov trained-on to become full caps.

Scottish football: plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose.”

 

Lies, Damned Lies And The Statistics Of Managing Scotland

ONE OF my old teachers once told me: “Socrates, you have what I would call a dustbin mind – throw any old fact at you and it remains inside that head of yours, awaiting retrieval at the opportune moment.” He may be correct, or he might be wrong, but, my ability to call-up obscure facts at random did save the jerseys once or twice in a previous life as a player in some very-competitive pub quiz teams.

The funny way the MacSporran brain works also sees me easily-distracted when perhaps penning a meaningful peace; or going off on a tangent at some point – as happened the other day.

I was reflecting on my obituary of Craig Brown and it got me thinking on how we interpret Scotland's success or otherwise under Broonie and the other unfortunates who have been charged with guiding the national football team.

Wikipedia's page on the national side and the various team managers, whose ranks include managerial royalty such as Sir Matt Busby, Jock Stein and Sir Alex Ferguson, as well as some lesser mortals makes interesting reading. For instance, from it we learn the national team has played 820 games since 1872, winning 391, for a wining average of 47.68%.

To use an Americanism of which I am not fond, but one which does the job, The Winningest Manager of the 27 men who have held the job since 1954 is Billy Stark, who won his solitary game as caretaker boss. Of the longer-lasting custodians of what is something of a poisoned chalice, the most-successful was Alex McLeish, who had a 70% winning record yet never got us to either the World Cup or European Championship finals..

Only seven post-holders have bettered that 47.68% media winning figure. However, the Wikipedia figures are slightly-skewed, as I shall now reveal.

According to them, the Selection Committee who picked the side (by their calculations) from 1872 until 1954, and again from 1954 until 1957. This gives this collection of butchers, bakers and candlestick-makers, elected to the job by their peers a 58.7% winning record.

This however is wrong. The Selectors actually picked the team right up to the appointment of Bobby Brown in 1967. So, the records of the seven managers from 1954 to 1967: Andy Beattie (two spells), Dawson Walker, Matt Busby, Ian McColl, Jock Stein, John Prentice and Malky MacDonald should actually be credited to the Selectors.

Yes, the managers prepared the sides; of course they had input – no way could we envisage Stein just blindly accepting the team picked for him by the Selectors, but, while the managers prepared the sides – they did not have control of selection.

So, if we add these games to the Selectors' tally, they come out with a 55% winning record – 177 wins from 321 games.

This compares more than favourably with our record when the Team Manager is the sole selector - 214 wins from 499 games – 42.9% winning record.

OK, I will concede, the old Selection Committees did, particularly in the Victorian era, and again in the 1920s, have a great many more top-quality Scottish players to pick from than perhaps more-recent managers have. For instance, Stevie Clarke doesn't have to choose between Hughie Gallacher or Jimmy McGrory as his centre forward, or Willie Waddell or Gordon Smith, or Willie Henderson or Jimmy Johnstone at outside right; or Lawrie Reilly of Willie Bauld at centre forward.

Mind you, thee SFA Selectors of the time never took what many in the media saw as the obvious step for Scotland going on to world domination - they never melded together Rangers' Iron Curtain defence with Hibs' Famous Five forward line to produce what many football writers of the time saw as the Scotland Dream Team.

But, received wisdom has it that actual team selection is the hardest part of a Team Manager or Head Coach's role – and some guys are better at it than others. Once a side is nominated, it's all down to how it is organised and for many years, as was the case with Rugby Union and Cricket, the Team Captain in football was the de facto team manager.

Jimmy McMullan, the legendary Captain of the 1928 Wembley Wizards, led Scotland in just 6 of his 16 internationals, but was never on the losing side in these games – four wins and two draws was his record. He was very-much the man in charge in these games.

In the post-World War II era, George Young set a record number of games as Scotland captain, leading the side out in 49 of his 54 games. I have been assured by Scotland caps of the time - “Big Corky” as he was known, was Manager of Scotland in all but name; he organised the training and set the tactics, indeed, there is a famous quote from Sir George Graham, the long-serving Chief Executive of the SFA, who when asked why Scotland had not followed England's example and employed a Team Manager for the national side, replied: “We don't need one – we've got George Young, the Captain, he's our Team Manager.”

 

George Young - the best manager Scotland never had
 

Scotland, under Young, won 27 of his 49 games as Captain, that's a 55% winning record – only Tommy Docherty, Ian McColl and Alex McLeish of the later Managers have a better winning record.

Andy Robertson, the current national captain, has now led the side on 42 occasions and is on-course to break Young's captaincy record next season. Robertson can point to a 50% wining record as captain – but, of course the kudos for that go to Stevie Clarke and not to the player. Robertson is a key man in the Clarke set-up, but, he doesn't have the authority which Young carried more than half a century ago.

It might be argued that it took football a long time to accept the concept of a Team Manager actually managing the team. Across the pond, in North American sport, the concept of the Coach as God has been in use almost from the off. Baseball has always had team managers, Gridiron has long embraced the Head Coach as a Deity, ditto Basketball. Over here, however, it wasn't until the 1920s and the arrival of perhaps the original managerial Holy Trinity: Herbert Chapman at Arsenal, Willie Maley at Celtic and Bill Struth at Rangers that the men in-charge became Manager rather than Secretary-Manager.

Organised football was already more than half a century old when these three giants began to alter the fabric of how the sport was run – and it would take nearly another half century before Directors finally lost their right to actually pick many teams – for instance, Wullie Shankly had to play hard ball to win the right to pick the team when he became Liverpool manager; while it says much about Jock Stein's force of personality that he could convince Sir Bob Kelly that he, as Manager and not Kelly, as Chairman, who should pick the Celtic team.

As I mentioned above, actually picking the team is seen as the hardest part of a coach's or manager's job and some guys do it better than others. Maybe there is something to be said for a team manager having to run his selection past his board of directors prior to announcing it. With the right board, one or two selection mistakes might be avoided.

Mind you, managers tend to have a jaundiced view of their boards, as witness a great wee story which Craig Brown used to tell. The Chairman of a middling Scottish club was elected to the SFA's International Committee. That body, prior to 1967, actually picked the team, since then they have only had to make the really important decisions:

• Does the squad stay at Gleneagles or Cameron House when preparing for a home international?

• Do we fly with BA or a charter airline to away games?

• Do we serve Merlot or Malbec with the main course at the post-game banquet?

You know, really important, crucial decisions like that.

Any way, this director's appointment to make such crucial decisions was followed by what is now seen as one of the great Scotland wins, when we routed one of the continent's major powers in a Hampden friendly. The following evening, as he arrived for their part-time team's evening training session, the club manager overheard the director's wife asking the club secretary if she had seen the difference her Jim had made to the Scotland team.

But, to be fair, maybe it might ease the pressure on the National Team Manager if, as happens with the world's most-successful international sporting side – The New Zealand All Blacks, the side was run and chosen by a three-man team, albeit with a Head Coach who is, as they say about a Prime Minister: “First Among Equals.”

The All Blacks have a 77.12% winning record, over their 612 Test matches, while this decade their record is up over 90%. Clearly their system works, but, could we Scots stop fighting among ourselves long enough to give their system a chance here?

Craig Brown - A Legend Has Gone From Us

CRAIG BROWN

(1 July, 1940 – 26 June, 2023)

 

BACK IN THE DAY – when I was the go-to man for Scottish sporting obituaries, one I was looking forward to writing, but, I hasten to add, in no particular hurry to actually write  – was that of Craig Brown, whose death, aged 82, was announced yesterday. He had been fighting bowel cancer.

Because Craig Brown's is a fascinating story – he truly is one of the Legends of Scottish football and well-deserving of his place among the members of the Scottish Football Hall of Fame. He also was a member of a pop group, a Scottish country dancer on television, where one of his partners was the future Mrs Billy McNeill and a Head Teacher and Education lecturer.

He was a schoolboy star while a pupil at Hamilton Academy, where Margo MacDonald, the future MP and MSP was a contemporary. Craig played for a very-good Kilmarnock Amateurs youth team before representing Scotland at Under-18 level, where his team mates included Billy McNeill, Jim Cruickshanks and Alex Ferguson. Lots of clubs were keen to sign him, but, he opted to join Rangers, as a part-timer, while he gained his teaching qualifications at Jordanhill College.

He was sent out to Coltness United in the Juniors, to gain experience, doing so well, he was capped by Junior Scotland. However, he never fulfilled his playing potential, by going on to add a senior cap.

As he admitted in his excellent autobiography, between his course at the Scottish School of Physical Education and his training with Rangers, he overdid things, and suffered a serious knee injury. At around the same time, Rangers signed Jim Baxter and while Baxter and Brown became life-long friends, between the genius of the Fifer and his ongoing knee problems, Craig Brown never did get to play in the Rangers' first-team at football – however, he was recognised as one of the best golfers at the club.

Eventually, he was loaned-out to Dundee, before Bob Shankly managed to get him to sign a permanent deal with the Dens Park club. Brown's eulogy on his Rangers career is a great example of his keen sense of humour: “I was fourth-choice left-half at Ibrox,” he joked: “behind Baxter, an amputee and a Roman Catholic.”

He moved to Dundee at the start of the 1961-62 season. His timing was great, since the 'Dee team, including the likes of Ian Ure, Alan Gilzean and Gordon Smith would finish that season as Champions of Scotland. Sadly for Craig, he struggled to break into that stellar team, although, by common consent he was mostly the 12^th man. It was at Dens Park that he received his life-long nickname of “Bleeper” - after he tried a bicycle kick in training and the ball went straight up in the air, so high, according to Scottish internationalist full-back Alex Hamilton, the ball “bleeped” like a Russian Sputnik.

Craig was actually Bob Shankly's first signing as Dundee manager, and also the last man The Other Shankly sold – to Falkirk, where he was Captain of the reserve team. This move came after Bob Shankly had decided he was getting out of Dundee and advised Craig to do likewise.

Sadly, Craig's knee problems continued to dog him and by 1967 he had to quit playing on medical advice – as a player he had played fewer than 40 games over his ten-year career.

However, after getting his PE diploma, Craig continued his education, being one of the first graduates of the Open University, where he obtained a BA in Education and, after teaching at various schools in Lanarkshire, where his father Hugh had been Special Adviser in PE, he joined the staff at Craigie College in Ayr. This brought him back to Ayrshire, where his formative years had been spent in Troon, although he was by birth, a Glaswegian.

Getting established in the education field meant Craig was all but lost to professional football – unless you count an 18 month stint as a Saturday football reporter with the Sunday Post. He did have a spell on the SFA Coaching Staff in the annual classes at Largs, but, was released after backing Eddie Turnbull, when the acting head of the course criticised one of Eddie's tactical innovations.

It was Willie, the eldest of the three McLean brothers, who got Craig back into the professional game, as his assistant at St Johnstone, then Motherwell

Ten years later, Craig would become a manager in his own right, when, in July, 1977, on the recommendation of old Scotland Schools team mate Billy McNeill, he succeeded the Celtic legend as Manager of Clyde.

Craig might not be Clyde's best-ever manager – over the years they have had some stellar names in charge. However, in his nine years as boss at Shawfield, be built-up a wonderful team spirit. His players from that time were and still are friends – while one or two, principally Steve Archibald and Pat Nevin, went on to greater things.

It could be argued, his time at Shawfield was his happiest in football, working with a small but dedicated board of directors who loved their club, indeed, they so admired Craig, he was himself appointed to the board. This gave him one of his funniest stories. According to Craig, on the Saturday after his elevation to the board was announced, as he made his way to the dug-out, a Clyde supporter suggested: “Haw Broon, see noo ye're on the board, can ye no get rid o' that useless manager o' oors.”

Craig Brown's life changed in 1986. Jock Stein had died and Alex Ferguson had been appointed caretaker Scotland boss. He invited Craig to be his assistant in what he described as: “A working holiday” for the duration of the World Cup finals in Mexico.

On his return, Craig, by now back inside the tent, was at the SFA coaching course in Largs, when Andy Roxburgh, having been offered the job of Scotland Team Manager, invited Craig to become his assistant and to look after the Under-21 team.

Craig accepted, although this meant having to give up the day job at Craigie College. Actually, he had a decision to make; at the same time, David Holmes, then in-charge of Rangers, invited him to return to Ibrox – as a director.

He was tempted, but, not yet ready to take a background role in football, so he opted for Scotland over Rangers.

The appointment of the Roxburgh/Brown team did not sit well with some of the great brains among the Scottish Football Writers of the time. They dismissed the pairing as nothing more than a couple of teachers who had perhaps been over-promoted and didn't have much to throw on the table when invited to: “Show us yer medals.”.

There was a touch of the Good Cop/Bad Cop about their approach. Roxburgh was seen as the ultra-serious driven coach, Brown much less serious, while one of his methods of integrating young players into the squad was to counsel them not to notice, far less comment on – Andy Roxburgh's non-existent wig. A wind-up, of course, but a great ice breaker.

A look at their record, however, tells a different story. Twenty years on from Craig Brown stepping down, the Roxburgh/Brown years and their record looks a lot better:

Roxburgh/Brown

• 1988 European Championships – two points off qualifying from group

• 1990 World Cup – Qualified for finals

• 1992 European Championships – Qualified for finals

• 1994 World Cup – fourth in qualifying group

Brown as Manager

• 1996 European Championships – Qualified for finals

• 1998 World Cup – Qualified for finals

• 2000 European Championships – Beaten in the qualification play-offs

• 2002 World Cup – Third in group

He was Scotland's longest-serving manager, in-charge for 71 matches, with a highly-creditable 45% winning record. These included a memorable Wembley win and beating the Germans in Germany. He guided the Under-21 team to the semi-finals of the 1992 European Championships, while he had famously coached the 1989 Under-16 team to the Junior World Cup, in Scotland, and a heart-breaking loss, on penalties, in the final at Hampden, to a Saudi Arabian team who clearly had several over-age players.

It could be argued, Craig's lengthy managerial spell with Clyde was excellent training for the Scotland job. His players were part-timers, all had day jobs and the football was an add-on – just as international football is an add-on to the club game.

Ever a football enthusiast, after Scotland, Craig Brown was quickly back in club management, at Preston North End, as a consultant at Derby County, then back in Scotland at Motherwell and Aberdeen.

After relinquishing the reins at Pittodrie, he joined the club's board, aged 73, spending the next decade as a much-respected elder statesman and ambassador of the game. He had been inducted into the Scottish Football Hall of Fame in 2010.

Off the park he was a staunch advocate for Scottish football. It says much for him that, when he announced his resignation as Scotland boss, the news was greeted with genuine sadness by the Tartan Army – they recognised him as one of their own, at heart a Scotland fan.

His brother Jock was also well-known in fitba, as a commentator and as Chief Executive at Celtic. The Browns were a talented family – Craig a teacher, Jock a qualified lawyer and the third brother Bob, a minister.

Craig Brown was a terrific talking head on football, always great value for money when called upon to appear in the media and a regular guest on Off the Ball for instance. His autobiography is a terrific read.

He worked with some great managers and coaches, Bob Shankly, Willie McLean and Alex Ferguson, while his teaching skills were well-utilised at Largs. His former players love him, as he loved them. They are devastated at his death.

Craig Brown also had something of a reputation as a Ladies Man. He loved the ladies and they loved him. I recall one widow of my acquaintance telling me: “He didnae fancy me when I was at Craigie, which has always upset me slightly, but I view it now as a chance missed – for both of us.”

He was made a Commander of the Order of the British Empire (CBE) in 1999, I would suggest, had he been English, he would have been knighted. Today, Scotland has lost an icon of the national obsession with the Beautiful Game – his status such that his death made the main BBC Evening News, and was the lead item on the Scottish News.

Above all else, however, Craig Brown was a genuinely nice man – in every respect a Gentleman. We shall not see his likes again.

 

Big Gordon Would Have Sorted-Out Erling Haaland

HOW are we going to handle Erling Haaland? This appears to be the major question around Stevie Clarke's tactics for the upcoming big game against the Norwegians.

Of course, the Manchester City star will be a major threat, but, he's not a one-man team, the Norwegians have one or two other more than useful players, so we should not become fixated with stopping the City goal machine.

Being something of a history buff, I had a look back at how we have in the past dealt with dangerous centre forwards.

Reading the Glasgow Herald report on Scotland's 1-2 loss to Wales back in November, 1947, is a return to simpler times. The result, our fourth defeat in seven games, was mostly down to the SFA Selection Committee, who had picked seven Anglo-Scots in the team, only two of whom, according to the Herald's anonymous 'Football Correspondent' were worth their place.

The Selectors paid some heed to the advice from the Herald's man, when they met to pick the next side, to face England in April, 1948, making six personnel and one positional change – we still lost.

Any way, the Welsh centre forward that day, Trevor Ford, was known as a physical player, to the extent that he upset immediate opponent Willie Woodburn, the Scotland captain, with his “rummel 'em up” style which the Herald described as: “robust”; to the extent, Woodburn received censure from the Herald for: “retaliatory tactics near the stand touchline in the second half, which should have no place in international football.”

Knowing Woodburn's reputation, we can take it, Mr Ford knew he was in a game. Any way, fast forward 11 months and the Scots travel to Cardiff. No Woodburn, George Young has the job of marking Ford.

Legend has it, the first time Wales attacked, Ford dumped Big Corky on his back side; however, next time he tried it, Ford was sent flying into the crowd and this quietened him down considerably as Scotland cruised to a 3-1 win, their first victory over another home nation in just under ten years.

Fast forward to the 1970s where we find Martin Chivers of Tottenham Hotspur is the most-feared striker in English football. Spurs are entertaining Manchester United at White Hart Lane and United have a young and relatively-untried centre-half, one Jim Holton, set to mark Chivers.

“Let hiim know you're there early-on,” is United boss Tommy Docherty's pre-match advice to his young defender, one he gets an early chance to take. That Spurs team had a well-honed set-piece move: a Jimmy Robertson corner to the front post, where Chivers would rise and back head the ball across goal, for the late-arriving Alan Gilzean to head it home at the back post – simples.

About five minutes in, Spurs win a corner, Chivers goes front post, with Holton in tow; only, when the ball comes across, Holton simply thumps Chivers from behind, knocking him into the crowd of photographers. There is a lengthy hold-up while Chivers is brought round by the physio and as he walks back onto the pitch he tells Holton: “You're nothing but a dirty big Scots Cunt.”

“Aye, and don't you ever forget that,” was the Holton response as Chivers took himself off to play on the left wing for the remainder of the game.

Now, I know Haaland is a big laddie, but, should we not summon-up the spirit of Young and Holton to deal with him? It might be worth a go.

WE LOST Big Gordon McQueen this week. On the plus side, he is at last free from the horror of Dementia, but, like so-many, he has been taken far too soon.

 

Gordon was a class act, and from a genuine footballing family. His father had a lengthy career as a goalkeeper, while his elder brother Iain was a major figure in Junior Football, including a lengthy spell at the sharp end of administration inside Hampden.

Gordon, of course, is in the Halls of Fame of his three clubs – St Mirren, Leeds United and Manchester United. He captained Scotland, and won what was then a record 30 caps for a centre half. He went to two World Cups, but sadly never actually played on the game's biggest stage.

He had a short spell in management, while boss at Airdrie I Middlesborough, before becoming one of the better ex-player talking heads on Sky.

His final decade was blighted by illness, he fought and beat Cancer, but fell prey to Dementia. After Middlesborough he had settled in a small village in North Yorkshire, perhaps it reminded him of his native Kilbirnie, in North Ayrshire.

Gordon McQueen had a great career, the highlight probably scoring the winning goal, for Scotland against England, at Wembley, in 1977. If there is a Heaven and if what we impressionable Scots learn at our Grannie's knee – then, that towering header alone guaranteed Gordon a seat at the right hand of God.

I met him once or twice, he was always gracious, never more-so than when he dropped me a line to thank me for sending him a copy of the Paisley Daily Express, after I had, as Sports Editor, overseen the selection of the all-time St Mirren XI, with McQueen at centre-half.

To refer to the item at the top of this blog post – I am absolutely certain, Erling Haaland would not have got much change out of Gordon McQueen in a game, but, it would have been one helluva battle.

 

Back With A Couple Of Rants

WELL – that's the 2022-23 CLUB football season over. With the World Game now a 7 days per week, 52 weeks per year business, there are still internationals to be got out of the way, before the top players head off to lie on an expensive beach somewhere, for a short break, before getting back on the treadmill.

In fact, Season 2023-24 will kick-off in less than five weeks – right in the middle of The Glasgow Fair – so folks, enjoy the break, it will be a short one. This is actually the best time of year to be a Scottish Fitba Writer, particularly if you're working for a Glasgow-based national newspaper.

Because, by calling round their friends in the ranks of the football agents, The Lap Top Loyal and The Celtic Apologists, can dream-up just about any old pish and get it published, as they attempt to convince what Andy Cameron called: “The Dibs and The Dobs” that with the singular exception of Miami-bound Lionel Messi, almost every available out of contract star you could name is about to sign for one or other of Scotland's Big Two. Add this season's side show of: “Who replaces Ange?” and it is clear, these are: great times to be one of the Magic Circle of the Scottish Football Writers Association – the men who make serious comment on Scottish Fitba vanish.

As I write this nonsense, the SFWA's English cousins, in what they grandly call The FWA – THE Football Writers Association – are busy re-writing history, in the wake of Manchester City's victory over Internationale Milan in the European Cup Final.

There they are, busily hyping this historic Treble, oblivious to we Scottish Scribes, who know our history, reminding them, this was a pretty second-rate Treble, since it wasn't actually one. Sure, City have lifted three trophies this season, The Premiership, The FA Cup and The European Cup, a case of The Noisy Neighbours catching up with the local Establishment club.

Now, the FWA are busy hailing this “English Treble.” Let's look forensically at this:

• Yes, Manchester City are “An English Club” in as much as they play in English football

• But – they are owned by the Sheik of Abu Dhabi

• They have a Spanish manager

• Only two English players started for them in the European Cup Final.

• They didn't actually do an English Treble

• City won the Premiership and the FA Cup, well, to quote the great Michael Lee Aday: “Two out of three aint bad.”

• But – they didn't win a Domestic Treble, indeed, when City in 2018-19 became the first English club to do a Domestic Treble, it was barely mentioned.

The sad fact – for English football is – until City, or any other English club, can win all three domestic trophies, thereby achieving a Treble, and then add the European Cup, they will be second-raters, compared to the one British club to have achieved this: Celtic's Lisbon Lions of 1967.

Right, Rant over, back to current affairs. Good luck to the scribes as they flog their dead horses of transfer rumours. I would have (maybe) a bit more respect for them if they stopped writing what is largely fiction, and concentrated instead on the genuine and worrying concerns whereby, our two largest teams have apparently decided Scottish players are no longer good enough to play for them, while the other leading Scottish clubs, as ever keen to ape the habits of the Big Two, are also falling over themselves to sign third and fourth rate English and foreign players rather than promoting native Scottish talent.

For instance, Rangers, having finally realised Allan McGregor is past his sell-by date, have rushed to sign Jack Butland as his replacement. I am sorry, but I find myself distinctly under-whelmed by this signing.

Butland is now 30. If we accept the premise that goalkeeper's mature later than outfield players, be should now be entering his best years. When first capped by England, he was still a teenager – their youngest back stop for 65 years. He was the goalkeeper for Team GB at the 2012 London Olympics. OK he has had injury problems since then, but, given that, in 15 years as a professional footballer, he has averaged only 20 games per season and spent more time out on-loan than playing for his various host clubs and won only nine full England caps, it might fairly be said: Jack Butland has not “trained-on” and confirmed the promise he showed as a teenager. He has been handed the Number One shirt at Ibrox, which hints that he will be first-choice, which to my mind is unfair on the man in possession of the first-team goalkeeper's jersey, Robby McCrorie.

McCrorie has been with Rangers since he was a boy, growing-up in Dailly – the South Ayrshire village whose previous best-known goalkeeper resident was “The Flying Pig” – Liverpool Legend Tommy Lawrence.

He is younger than Butland, Ragners to the core and has never let his club down. He has also, already, tasted international recognition with a call-up to the full Scotland team, although he remains uncapped.

I do not think Rangers needed to sign Butland. I don't see him as being any better than McCrorie, or indeed the previously capped Jon McLaughlin. But, current fashion dictates that Rangers (and Celtic) have to buy non-Scots, so that's where we are.

I maintain the position I have held for the duration of this blog – until the other Scottish clubs grow a pair of balls between them and stand-up to the big two, Scottish Fitba is only going down the Private Frazer pathway – we are doomed.

We need to bring in Chick Young's Eight Diddies Rule – and actively promote Scottish players, or we will continue to struggle in Europe and internationally.

Second rant over.

FINALLY, looking ahead to the new season I will be particularly interested in events at Auchinleck Talbot's Beechwood Park. Legendary Manager Tucker Sloan has, after what was by Talbot standards a poor season, decided the time is right for major surgery to his squad.

Several Beechwood Legends have moved-on and Tucker, the man with the best winning record in the Scottish game, is over-seeing a major rebuild.

Ill-health has forced Brian McGinty to step down, after ending Cumnock's long wait for a third Scottish Junior Cup win, while further down the A76, at Loch Park, Ryan Stevenson is well into his Glenafton Athletic rebuild. Season 2023-24 us going to be very interesting here in the East Ayrshire heartland of Real Scottish Fitba.

 

Hall Of Fame Membership - An Inexact Science

'THE CELTIC SONG' includes the line: “If you know their history,” but, when it comes to the history of that club – or their greatest rivals across the city – that history is often re-written and distorted according to which camp the writer of that history is coming from.

With the blue half of the Scottish Football Establishment celebrating 150 years of their club this year, history has been much-mentioned. My friend David Mason, the official Rangers Club Historian has written an excellent book covering these 150 years. Meanwhile, another friend, big Alex Gordon is spending his golden years, since escaping the sports-writing coal face, in his cottage industry of writing books about his beloved Celtic. It's a fertile market folks.

With the League Cup Final coming up this weekend, it's a hard week for weans on the mainstream Scottish media's sports desks, since they have to conjour-up even more Old Firm shite than normal – the Heid Bummers on the various titles having decreed on tablets of stone: “In Scotland, Sport means the Old Firm.”

Needless to say, the clubs are willing co-conspirators in this blatant news management, with the blue team quickly off the mark, with the announcement that three current players: Steven Davis, Allan McGregor and skipper James Tavernier have been inducted into the club's Hall of Fame.

 

Here we take an explanatory diversion:

Halls of Fame are a North American invention. Since our colonial cousins in the Americas don't have much of a glorious history of their own – they have to make it up as they go along, and this is particularly true of the great North American sports – the ones they play religiously, but the rest of the world, ranks someway behind “real” football – with a round ball, and the likes of the Olympic Games.

American Football, Baseball, Basketball and Ice Hockey are the Big Four sports across the pond, and each has its own Hall of Fame – at both collegiate and professional level. These are honoured institutions, entrants to which must meet strict eligibility criteria.

For instance, in the professional Halls – nobody can be eligible for induction until they have been retired for a period, usually five years. This gives the induction committees time to properly assess the candidate's fitness for induction.

Michael Jordan – widely considered to be Basketball's G.O.A.T (Greatest Of All Time) had to wait the requisite five years, before he got in. Tom Brady, who is being touted as American Football's G.O.A.T. has only just retired, so he must wait until 2028 before he can take his place in the Pro Football Hall of Fame in Canton, Ohio.

We here in Scotland were a lot slower in setting-up sporting Halls of Fame. To be honest, we haven't really, to my mind, done it correctly since. There are guys in the Scottish Football Hall of Fame who, to my mind only got in because they had club supporters from the “Fans With Typewriters” press benches pushing their case – while many of the true giants of the game, from the time when Scotland virtually ruled the football world, are still waiting to get in.

For instance, Robert Gardner, the very first Scottish internationalist and the man who, as Queen's Park secretary, along with the English Football Association's Charles Alcock, arranged the first football international, Scotland v England, at Hamilton Crescent, on 30 November, 1872.

Without Gardner, that game would not have taken place, and we would not have football as we know it today – yet, Gardner is not yet inducted into the Hall of Fame. Similarly, seven of the Scotland team against which every one since – the 1928 Wembley Wizards, including Alex Jackson, who scored a hat-trick in the 5-1 win over England, are still waiting to be inducted – while every member of the European Cup-winning Lisbon Lions is already inside the Hall. It pays to have fans on the induction committee right enough.

Who gets inducted into any Hall of Fame still comes down to bias on behalf of whoever is doing the selecting – be it a committee, or a wider fans' vote. It's an inexact science and we can only hope that, over time common sense prevails.

I would suggest, the three current players would probably, under North American standards of induction eligibility eventually get in, but, to induct them while they are still playing – not for me thank you.

A GOOD GENERAL is is said: “picks his battles,” and in trading insults with Chris Sutton, Rangers Manager Michael Beale has I think chosen one he cannot win. Leave the mouthy Englishman to Ally McCoist, who can be guaranteed to put Sutton in his place without having to get out of second gear. That's my two pence worth for the Ibrox boss.

Speaking of the latest heir to Bill Struth; I have to commend his action in allowing Partick Thistle that free equaliser in the recent cup tie. However, I wonder, what will happen should a similar incident arise this weekend?

Beale might instruct his players to let Celtic have a free shot at goal, however, I reckon between them kicking-off and the potential scorer reaching the Rangers' penalty area, I reckon there will be about one thousand Bears on the park, blocking the way to goal. Some matches are no quarter given affairs.

FINALLY – Decades of dealings with the Scottish Junior Football Association, and knowing how, for yonks, it has been run by a Lanarkshire Mafia who couldnae run a bath, I always felt – if they could prevent a Cumnock v Glenafton final – the one match-up guaranteed to get fans in for the final, they would.

Sure enough, when the semi-final draw was made, the two East Ayrshire giants were drawn together. Now, I don't subscribe to the outrageous claims, that this tie would generate a five-figure crowd at either Rugby Park or Somerset Park, these days are past. But, I firmly believe, the semi-final could have attracted an all-ticket full house to Beechwood Park.

But, it won't, because the Heid Bummers at the SJFA have decided the game should go on a Friday night. This more or less guarantees, fewer spectators than would have been attracted to a match kicking off on a Saturday afternoon.

Par for the course in running Scottish Fitba – where the lunatics have been running the asylum for generations.