Oh Dear! Never Mind!

I HAD MY Rugby Union head on on Sunday. More fool me, I had convinced myself that, this year, at long last, we could beat Ireland, particularly with home advantage. Thus, I was a wee bit down when I learned, from the BBC News, that Rangers were trailing at home to Queen's Park.'

My immediate thought was: “If I switch channels quickly, I might catch the Rangers' penalty”, Kerrching, barely had I gturned over and there it was – given. OK, the only places in football where that award would ever be given are in the Opposition's penalty area at Ibrox and Celtic Park, and only then when the home team is losing deep into a game.

But, Justice was served when Calum Ferrie pulled off that save from James Tavernier; mind you, I was still surprised they didn't order a re-take.

So, that leaves us with the normal Monday morning game of guessing how much more the High Heid Yins at Ibrox will take, before they dispense with the services of Mr Clement, after all, Super Stevie G is in need of an other gig after losing his job in Saudi Arabia.

Might it just be that Rangers' finances are in such a dire state, they cannot afford to pay-off the Belgian and his staff, far less recruit a new management team?

Or might it be, that a run deep into the knock-out phase of the Europa League will save Clement's neck? Long odds, I know, but I can see all but the most-commited of Ra Peepul suddenly losing their desire to watch this current lot shame the jerseys, which are clearly far too heavy for some of them, from now until the summer.

At least, Liverpool losing at Plymouth saved Rangers from an even redder face on Sunday night. They ought to be thankful for small mercies.

I know this is 2025 and the game has changed, but, while my immediate thoughts on The Spiders' win were with one of my old Editors, Logan Taylor – a long time Hampden regular, or former Evening Times Sports Editor, David Stirling, whose commitment to the club included a spell on the committee and a time as Programme Editor. Guys like that deserved this result and I can honestly say, the most-civilised time I ever spent covering was football was reporting on a couple of home Queen's Park games – their followers, such as former top referee and SRU President Allan Hosie – set a really high bar for how to behave and support your team – I was a wee bit sad at the outcome.

Because, the two biggest Queen's Park heroes on the day: goal-scorer Seb Drozd and heroic goalkeeper Captain Calum Ferrie – despite that name - are both English. Nothing against either player, that's what Scottish football has become, a refuge for non-Scots who are not considered good enough for their own domestic leagues.

Here, off the top of my head is a team of former Queen's Parkers, who went on into the professional ranks and won full Scotland caps: Bobby Clark; Davie Holt, Andy Robertson, Ian McColl, Willie Woodburn, Bert McCann; George Herd, Simon Donnelly, Alex Ferguson, RS McColl, Alan Morton. OK, not perhaps an all-time great Scotland team, but, while I had to go back a fair way to include Bob McColl and Alan Morton, the list – and I didn't pick the likes of Jack Harkness, Ronnie Simpson, Jim Cruickshank, or any of the greats from the early days: Dr John Smith, Charles Campbell, Walter Arnott and so on, it shows, Hampden has always been a hot hatchery of talent. So it's sad to see non-Scots getting this bit of 21^st century glory.

Of course, the club was forced by circumstances to ditch its unique amateur personna, but, results such as Sunday's pull at the heart strings of us old fitba romantics.

I have written this before, and date I say it, I probably will again, but, until the SFA sorts itself out and imposes something like Chick Young's “Eight Diddies Rule” - so we are pro-actively encouraging Young Scottish talent, we will continue to be a footballing back-water.

I could even live with something akin to the North American system of Major and Minor Leagues, with the bigger clubs having franchise agreements with the smaller clubs, in the lesser leagues, to encourage young player development.

That way, for instance: Queen's Park might become an associate team to Rangers, bringing through younger players. Clyde could be doing the same job for Celtic, Spartans and Edinburgh City could be doing the same job for Hearts and Hibs; Cove Rangers for Aberdeen and Arbroath or Forfar for a combined City of Dundee team.

Weve got too-many unsustainable diddy teams playing in too-many unsustainable National leagues. Unless we change things, our game will continue to go down the stank.

We also need to level the playing field, but, we've known that for years, except the High Heid Yins, noses firmly in the feeding trough refuse to notice.

Private Frazer was right. We are all doomed. Or, to sample another classic TV sit-com, I hear these are selling well this week:

 

 

 

 

 

Contrassting European Fortunes

IF FOOTBALL is indeed “A results-driven business” why are so-many people trying to avoid admitting, Celtic got a doing at Villa Park on Wednesday night. You can come up with all the excuses under the sun, it will not alter the fact, Aston Villa won, and won well; and but for Kasper Schmeichel's heroics and a penalty miss straight out of Benny Hill, it might have been another Borussia Doetmund result for the Hoops.

OK, I get the financial disparity, to a degree; Celtic pay way over the Scottish odds to bring second and third-rate non-Scots into our pathetic wee Premier Division, while Villa pay even-further over the odds to bring second, and the odd first rate player to Birmingham. Let's face it, if your choice is Barcelona, Madrid or Milan over Birmingham or Glasgow – if you're confident you will be a first pick, it's a no-brainer, but, if you're going to be a squad player, then if youj can jemmy a better deal out of the club from either UK city – you set your agent's default position to “bleed them”.

Even back in the days when England had a maximum wage and Scotland didn't, so the Old Firm could compete in thr UK transfer market, Celtic still sold stellar talents such as Jimmy Delaney, Bobby Collins and Paddy Crerand to English clubs (ok, Crerand went just as England began to have a cash advantage) but they were still, financially, a small club, willing to sell their best assets to a high bidder. That is still the club's management model.

There are players in the current Celtic side who are – by Scottish standards, Superstars; however, in English Premeirship of European terms, they are journeymen. Celtic's greatest-ever XI comprised 11 native Scots, all born within 40 miles of Celtic Park. Last night, they had only two Scots in their starting line-up, even Villa, from the league with perhaps the highest proportion of non-natives in Europe, had five English players in their starting XI.

Celtic's whole club DNA was built on recruiting and polishing young players from “The Celtic Family” - built on the efforts of countless teachers and janitors at Roman Catholic schools, mainly in West-Central Scotland, whose goal in life was to produce at least one boy good enough to some day wear the Hoops.

But, since a Dublin-based billionaire seized control, this proud tradition has been dumped in favour of over-priced, over-paid mercenaries. The result, sure, guaranteed European football every season, but, squads lacking the quality of those Jock Stein managed.

Celtic will not win the European Cup this season, in fact, given the draw they have been handed, they are unlikely to survive the Play-Off round. Sure, they will almost certainly win the Scottish title again this season' they could even pull-off another Treble, but, as Wednesday night at Villa Park showed – this is a poor Celtic squad, playing in a really-poor domestic league, who have perhaps over-achieved in reaching the European stage they have.

I HONESTLY cannot see Rangers winning the Europa League this season, for the simple fact: the cry is no defenders every time the opposition crosses into their box. And when you consider the lineage of Rangers Central defenders, this is a potentially tenure-ending condemnation of Manager Philippe Clement.

Just consider the men who have been the bulwark of the club's defence over the past century – a defence which once merited the newspaper-awarded designation: “The Iron Curtain”.

From Davie Meiklejohn in the 1920s, via Jimmy Simpson a decade later. Simpson passed the torch on to Willie Woodburn and George Young, who in turn bequeathed the job of securing the back door to John Greig and Ronnie McKinnon.

They in turn were succeeded by Colin Jackson and Derek Johnstone, then John McClelland and Davie Macpherson. For all the changes which the

David Murray/Graeme Souness years brought, the club still stood by excellence in central defence from the likes of Terry Butcher and Richard Gough.

Twelve names there, ten of them Scotsmen, covering the best part of a century of defensive excellence. I could have named other great Scottish defenders to have played for thee club – Alan McLaren or Colin Hendrie for instance.

But today, Scottish players are an endangered species around Ibrox, although John Souttar, who returned from injury on Thursday night, is maintaining the tradition of Scottish internationalist central defendders at the club.

That jersey can weigh heavily on newcomers to the club. I can remember when Big Corky – George Young – retired in 1957, the club did not have an in-house replacement, so they did what the club had long done, and signed the then current Queen's Park pivot, John Valentine.

Received wisdom had it that Valentine had all the necessary attributes to be a Rangers' centre-half, but, it never quit worked for him and after the disaster of Hampden in the sun – Celtic's 7-1 League Cup win in 1957, he was cast forth into the reserves and shortly afterwards off-loaded to St Johnstone, a club he served with distinction.

The unfortunate Valentine was replaced by St Mirren veteran Willie Telfer, a true Bluenose from Larkhall, but he was never more than a short-term stop-gap, well thugh he filled that role.

The long-term successor was thought to be Airdrie's Doug Balllie, a big lump who had won his first Scotland Under-23 honour as a teenager. Sadly, Doug never really recovered from a serius roasting from the young John “Yogi” Hughes in his first Old Firm game. Doug never replicated his Airdrie form with Rangers, but, he did mature to be a unique and long-serving talent in th press box.

Between the short-lived Baillie time and the arrival of Greig and McKinnon, the most-regular Rangers centre-half was the unsung Bill Paterson. He made over 100 first team appearances and won four domestic medals during his four years at Ibrox, but is pretty-much forgotten today.

A Kinlochleven man, he won a Scotland B cap during his time with Doncaster Rovers, in a 1-1 draw with England in 1954. He and fellow defender Jimmy Dudley of Westy Bromwich Albion were the only members of that Scotland B team not to go on and win a full cap. He later played and coached in Canada.

Paterson;s success demonstrates, you don't have to pay big money to get a good centre-half, maybe somebody should tell that to the current Rangers' management.

What the current Europa League campaign, and the current domestic campaign has shown is – Rangers badly need a big centre-half, or perhaps the football equivalent of the American Football Defensive Co-ordinator; somebody who can sort-out the team's answer to crosses into the box, get every defender made aware of his responsibilities, and ensuring that do their job.

If they can sort out this glaring weakness, who knows, the club could yet have a good season.

The secret to having a good, winning team, is supposedly in that team having a solid spine: a good goalkeeper, a dominant centre half, a midfield play-maker and a sharp striker.

The current Rangers team is not that far-away. Getting the centre-half job sorted out would be an improvememt, it would also, I suggest, help if they could get Igamande and Dessers playing together. I have a feeling these two, if they could get on the same wavelength and sort-out who is doing what, when, could become as potent as the legendary Brand and Millar combination of the 1960s, or the perm two from three combination of Hateley, Johnston and McCoist in the 1990. . And with Vaclav Cerny as a 21^st century Davie Wilson, the Bears may dream of better to come.

 

Of Mice And Mince And Men

AS BIG TAM memorably said all those years ago:”You can never shay never” - but, at half-time in Wednesday night's game from Celtic Park, I reckoned there was a better than even chance that Celtic would fail to score. As it happened they didn't, but, courtesy of an own goal which I don't think even Ally McCoist, Gary Lineker or Alan Shearer would have had the gall to claim, they got the win on the night.

With Scottish referees, the game would have been overer by half time with Celtic 5-0 up, but, VAR and officiating standards are higher in Europe, hence their problems. It's not the first game I have seen whereby one side made and missed all the chances, and I did have a slight fear that Young Boys might get lucky and nick the win, but, Kasper Schmeichel justified his new contract and the Hoops roll on.

A win in their final league stages game, at Villa Park next week, will almost certainly put Celtic into the last 16 of the European Cup, anything else and they will need to negotiate the play-off round. A big obstacle in Birmingham might well be a fired-up Super John McGinn, the Villa skipper, who is battling to fight-off a hamstring injury so he can play against the team his grandfather was once Chairman off and which he has supported all his life.

John McGinn v Calum McGregor in midfield – that's a “haud me back” match-up for sure.

I HAVE TO admit, I've got a wee thing for bad movies; you know, the sort of film which has the critics screaming that you have to watch in, so you do, and 10 or 20 minutes in, you decide: “This is mince.”

That was my mind set as I readied myself for Thursday night's big feature – Manchester United v Rangrers in the Europa League. The Guardian has, in the past week, run a feature, the thrust of which was: “Is the current squad the worst-ever Manchester United team?” Naturally, this blatant clickbait worked, but, whatever your view, it has to be admitted – they are not a vintage Old Trafford outfit. That said, this blog's view of the current Rangrrs' squad is well known.

So, this game was always going to either be a classic, or, more-likely, a yawn festival.

Well, not perhaps a genuine classic, but certainly an entertaining match-up, won in the end by a touch of quality from probably the best player on the park. Over the piece, United deserved to win, if only as the better of two poor teams. I would like to think, given how well the youngsters he deployed off the bench coped with appearing at “The Theatre of Dreams”, Philippe Clement might be the happier of the two managers, but, the truth is, given a choice between trusting their home-grown kids, or buying more over-priced foreign shite, the High Heid Yins at Ibrox will still go for option 2.

I said, when the club was exiled to the lower reaches of Scottish Football, they ought to have gone with their best youngsters, retaining two or three experienced players to give them a lead; then, by the time they got back to the top flight, these kids would have grown-up, knowing what it meant to be a Rangers Player, but, that advice fell on deaf ears – a series of bad players and poor managers followed and they are still paying the price for this and are well behind Celtic.

At least, last night Jack Butland and Harry Maguire demonstrated why they are unlikely to be hearing from Herr Teuchel any time soon. Best bit of the entire TNT Sport overkill around the game – Ally McCoist's half hour sit down with Sir Alex Ferguson. Coisty is demonstrating that Lorraine Kelly doesn't have the East Kilbride monopoly on TV excellence, he's a natural.

Speaking of Sir Alex, received wisdom within football is that he was never more than: “A journeyman player.” Well, in the course of the McCoist interview, the graphics showed his games and goals statistics from hs several clubs. This sent me to Wikipedia after the transmission.

Okay, at times Wikipedia cannot and should not be trusted, however in the case of icons such as Ferguson, the stats are generally good and these showed, over his playing career, Fergie scored goals at the rate of 0.54 goals per game, better than the accepted 0.50 goals per game which has long been the benchmark for an international-class striker.

His highest scoring rates were during his time with Dunfermline Athletic (then regularly battling at the top of the Scottish game and competing in Europe) and during his short spell at Rangers – so you have to conclude, he was one of those players who played better with better players around him.

Yes, he had to wait until his 80^th birthday to be awarded the Scotland cap his endeavours on the 1967 World Tour earned him, but, the stsatistics show, he was a better player than perhaps given credit for. He was never given the chance to show what he could do against first tier opponents, but, if you leave aside the obvious one-cap outliers such as East Fife's Harry Morris and Charlie Fleming, then Fergie's 0.75 gpg in a Scotland shirt puts him right at the top of the post-World War II scoring averages, well ahead of several more-storied internationalists.

 

Disaster For Scotland - The King Is Dead

THIS WEEK began badly, with the news of the death of my fellow Ayrshireman, legendary Scottish Rugby Union Captain Peter PC Brown. It has ended with equally sad news, with the passing of the one, the only Denis Law.

You can argue all you like about Scotland's Greeatest-Ever Player “The Tartan G.O.A.T.” but, what you cannot argue against is Denis's right to be in the conversation. He was our youngest debutant of the 20^th Century, when first capped, against Wales in 1958; he set a national record when winning his 55^th and final cap, against Zaire in 1974. He scored a record 30 international goals, a mark which still stands while individually he was the first Scot to win the Ballon D'Or in 1964. Had he been English, I am sure he would have been knighted, but as a Scot he only got a CBE from the British Establishment.

He joined Huddersfield Town as a 15-year-old from Aberdeen, a fisherman's son. He had a sight impediment, which required surgery to correct it and, aged just 16, he was in the Town first team, encouraged by the coaching of one Willie Shankly.

Some wanted him in the Scotland squad for the 1958 World Cup, but, the selectors of the time would not pick him, although, still only 18, he was in the team in the first international after those 1958 finals.

Huddersfield could not hold him, but Manchester Cioty had to pay a record transfer fee to entice him away. Perhaps his finest moment in a City shirt in that spell came when he scored seven goals in an FA Cup tie against Luton Town – six in the first game, which was abandoned, then another goal in the replayed game, which Luton won. But, City were the second team in Manchester at the time and in 1961, he was signed by Italian side Torino, alongside England centre forard Joe Baker, of Hibs.

His time in Italy was short-lived and disappointing. He and Baker were injured in a car crash, while Law relished the story of the Turin taxi driver, taking a party of Scottish football writers to a game in that city, who was disparaging about him. The taxi-man adored Baker but said: “Law, all he do is kick people.”

Football at the time was tough and the slight Law belied his lack of physique with his quicksilver speed, his instincts in the penalty area and his ability to meet fire with fire when defenders kicked him. This landed him in particular bother following Scotland's disastgrous 3-9 loss to England, at Wembley in 1961.

Law was dropped after the game, allegedly for kicking the future Sir Bobby Robson, right in front of Queen Elizabeth II, sitting in the Royal Box. Law always insisted, Robson had kicked him first.

He was soon back in the national side, where he and Jim Baxter were the outstanding talents in a golden age for the side, marked by three successive wins over England and a wonderful 6-2 win over Spain in the Bernabeau; and, of course, the day Scotland beat World Champions England, at Wembley in 1967.

Years later, interviewing Denis, I asked him aboujt that game. He said the result still annoyed him; a survivor of 1961, Law wanted to score goals that day to emphasise how good that Scottish side was, but, as he said ruefully: “I was over-ruled by Baxter and Bremnerf, who wanted to humiliate them 1-0.”

Law and Baxter were picked for the FIFA side to face England in the FA Centenary International in 1963, the year in which, back in Manchester, with United, he helped them win the FA Cup, their first trophy since the days of the fabled Busby Babes.

Law, Munich survivor Sir Bobby Charlton and a young Northern Irish genius named George Best formed The Golden Trinity during a golden era for a United team managed by Busby, capped by the European Cup win in 1968. Law was Club Captain, but injury kept him out of that game and as the years of abuse he took at the hands of uncompromising defenders took their toll, over the final half dozen years of his playing career, he was as often injured as playing.

He ran down his career back at City, sold by Tommy Docherty, memorably scoring his 303 and final club goal with a back-heeler, in a Manchester Derby – he did not celebrate.

The gap in his Scotland record was the national team's failure to qualify for the 1962, 1966 and 1970 World Cups. He was passed his peak when Scotland finally did get the non -qualifying monkey off their backs in 1974 and perhaps there was an element of a sympathy selection when Willie Ormond selected him for the opening game, against Zaire. But, at least, it meant he got to strut his stuff on the game's highest stage – it was his final match.

Law opted out of a post-playing career in coaching. He had a lengthy career as a media talking head, as well as working diligently for several charities. His daughter Diane, one of his five children had almost as long a Manchester Unitd career as her father, as a popular member of the club's Press Office team.

Another great Law story was told by Fred Eyre, once a club-mate at City. Eyre was never more than a journeyman player, before setting-up his own office equipment company and becoming a millionaire. Eyre's first order for his new company was for a load of stationery, unfortunately, he had broken a leg and was wondering how he might get the order from his van to the customer – when who would appear down the street but Denis, who readily agreed to help his old team mate out by carrying in the order.

Eyre always insisted: “When the customer saw who my van driver was, they immediately gave me a massive order for new desks and chairs and I never looked back.”

Denis fought and beat Prostate Cancer, but he could not beat Alzheimer's, he has gone now, but, to those of us fortunate enough to see him in his pomp, for club and mre-so for country, the sight of The Lawman in full cry was something to behold.

We shall not see his likes again – he was a very-special player and a very-special man.

 

Can This Patrick Stewart "Make It So"?

SIR PATRICK STEWART, in perhaps his best-known role, as Captain Jean-Luc Picard, would say: “Make it so”, as he gave an order. Maybe Mr Patrick Stewart, the Chief Executive Officer of Rangers FC wishes it was that easy for him. He perhaps thought he was getting out of a shit show, when he departed Manchester United for Glasgow, only to now finding out, if anything, the heat is greater on Clyde-side than in Salford.

I am told the cracked club crest has already been readied foruse by the subs on the Daily Rhebel and The Scottish Hun, as they make advance preparations for Friday's editions, which will carry their reports on Thursday's Old Firm clash, at Celtic Park. As things stand, fortunately for the Rangers following – or perhaps unfortunately, should the seemingly-impossible occur and they manage to win – guie few Bluenoses will be inside Celtic Park for the big game.

Recent results have left Manager Philippe Clement looking like a dead man walking and should Thursday's game go as all but the most-optimistic of Ra Peepul think it will, then Clement and his backroom team could be out of a job come the weekend.

The club's fan base are distinctly unhappy with recent results; the club's finances are not great; the squad is overloaded with costly imports who are plainly not Rangers class, while there is the distinct lack of that necessity for any successful Old Firm team – a fan on the park, driving up standards. if anything, the club is in a worse state than even during the turbulent reign of Craig Whyte.

Getting the club back to a position whereby Rangers are a viable challenge and alternative to Celtic will take something the current management team doesn't have – money; Rangers are in a mess.

Of course, the rest of us, we supporters of the “diddy teams” whose lot it is to lose regularly to the Big Two, of course, we enjoying the fact we can all laugh at Rangers. But, if Ra Peepul decide to stay at home, then our own clubs' finances suffer as fewer Rangers fans follow-follow an unfolding disaster.

I HAVE SURVIVED 65 years of mainly suffering in the cause of supporting Kilmarnock Football Club. Along the way there have been the occasional good times – 1965 for instance, but, generally it has been a hard slog.

Right now, I am worried for the club, because they are picking-up red cards at a rate unknown in Ayrshire since the hey day of Bobby McCulloch and Ian “Stinker” Dick. Having seen some of these dismissals on television, I am convinced, Kilmarnock is not a dirty team, but, quite clearly, somebody connected with the club has upset the refereeing establishment, since the majority of the red cards I have seen were difficult if not impossible to justify.

There is, to my mind, clearly something far wrong with Scottish officiating and it's time it was rectified.

THE BIG NEWS from the release of the 2025 New Year's Honours List was the Knighthood awarded to former England Manager Gareth Southgate. OK, it was a reward for failure, since he failed to win either the European Championship or the World Cup, as England boss. But, given the Prime Ministers England (and by association us) have had this century, he's perhaps been the best leader England has had.

If nothing else, he got his teams that bit deeper into the big competitions before they inevitably met a half-decent team and got beaten. He's made the English feel better about themselves, so, perhaps he deserves his gong – since managing English footballing expectations is a mission which even Tom Cruise would turn down as Impossible.

A belated MBE for Alan Hansen andf an upgrade to OBE for David Moyes were the Scottish football highlights, but, I do feel, either Stevie Clarke or Andy Robertson might have cause to feel slighted.

THIS IS my final post for 2024. Not, in truth, a great year. I find Scottish Football in general to be in a bad place, with too-many sub-standard foreign imports stifling opportunity for Scottish players, and clubs seemingly afraid to try to play entertaining football.

I feel the game's rulers need to take a serious look at themselves and the state of the game they are supposed to be running, but, unfortunately, they appear to lack the necessary self-awareness and desire to make things better. Maybe we need a Jean-Luc Picard to make it so.

Anyway, I wish you all the very best in 2025 – see you after the bells.

A Fresh Take On The State Of Hampden

BACK IN THE DAYS of The Soviet Union there were roads in Moscow reserved for members of the Politbureau and their Apparatchiks – it wouldn't do that they should ever encounter the hoi-polpoi as they went about their important state business.

The same sort of apartheid has long existed within Scottish Fitba, where the High Heid Yins and their Hingers-Oan are accustomed to a level of comfort and catering denied the ordinary Terracing Tams, who are the berdrock of the game here. And don't get me started on the attitudes and antics of The A Team, those back page by-lined fitba writers who only cover the Old Firm and the National Team.

If I was still permitted to mention his name, I would say their arrival at a ground other than the three big Glasgow stadia is reminiscent of that great R*lf H#rris number 'The Ladies of the Harem of the Court of King Caractucus'.

Our club officials and the business-men they con, sorry persuade, into sponsoring their teams are as divorced from reality as those long-deid Soviet-era leaders. It'ds a case of anything will do for the ordinary fans, and the cheaper the cost to the clubs, the better.

I often feel, when it comes to the ordinary fans, who subsidise Scottish Fitba, the “Blazers” have the same opinion as Sheriff Bart and the Waco Kid had around the citizens of Rock Ridge - “The common people of the clay – Morons.”

I am under no illusions as to how much it would cost to bring Hampden up to standard. It was a slum when it was re-developed, 30 years ago now. It is again a slum today. The game in Scotland has never had the money to even keep up with the necessary ongoing upkeep, far less the mega-sum it would take to undo the damage of that cheap rebuild and bring the Old Lady into the 21^st century.

To do up Hampden properly, to make it a National stadium the nation could be proud of, would need a political will which we will never see until we are once again an Independent Nation, and, at 77, I know only too well, I will never see this.

But, Hampden got a reality check at the weekend, when the Scottish Rugby Union, in the guise of Glasgow Warriors, rented the ground for the first leg of the annual 1872 Cup clash with Edinburgh. This was a bit of a gamble for Managing Director Al Kellock, Head of Commercial Glen Tippet and the Warriors' management team, but, they pulled-in a crowd of nearly 28,000 – four times the capacity of their normal home, Scotstoun Stadium.

The Weegie rugby fans enjoyed their day, a thumping 33-14 win for Warriors. In football terms, this equates to a 5-2 win for the home team, However, if the forum on Scotland's leading rugby media outlet – The Offside Line – is any guide, the Rugger Buggers were not enamoured of Hampden's charms.

It used to be said of Hampden that the way the wind blew around the vast open bowl of the old 150,000 capacity ground, created “The Hampden Swirl”, a phenomenon which was understood to occasionally catch-out goalkeepers, particularly at the King's Park or Celtic end.

The Swirl seemed to die away after the rebuild, I certainly haven't seen it quoted for years, or maybe today's fitba scribes don't know their history. Anyway it was back in evidence on Sunday, with the box-kicking scrum-halves finding it difficult to kick consistently.

But, many of the fans, not regular visitors to Hampden, commented on how the wind seemed to blow around the bowl, and they found Hampden a less-welcoming environment in which to spectate, when compared to their own Murrayfield ground across in Edin burgh.

They were also less than enamoured with the catering facilities at Hampden. There are regularly a lot of complaints about the Murrayfield Spectator Experience, but, it appears, Hampden is seen as being even worse.

It might be that the Rugger Buggers are indeed a bit more middle class than the Football Crowd. Perhaps they have higher expectations, Certainly they appear more-likely to complain when they feel they are not getting value for money. Might it even be, years of being treated like shite by Fitba's High Heid Yins has reinforced that in-bred Scottish stoicism, perhaps best illustrated by George Macdonald Fraser's great line (from The General Danced At Dawn): “The Jocks would follow their Ruperts (Anglo-Scottish officers) anywhere – usually from a morbid curiousity as to what type of mess they'd led them into this time.”

Whatever the reason – The Hampden Experience was not rated all that highly by the Rugby Crowd. Perhaps that is food for thought along the Sixth Floor Corridor, or, as ever, is that a part of Scotland wherein reality is never admitted?

 

Another Pleasant Valley Sunday

OK – I DON'T suppose it would take the wit and wisdom of a great defence lawyer, such as the fictional Perry Mason or the wonderful Alan Shore of Boston Legal's Crane, Poole and Schmidt to get them off; so, charging the respective clubs with replaying the War which followed “The Glorious Revolutioon” of 1689 would be beyond even those masters of useless, expensive and time-wasting Court time, the SNP-led Scottish Government.

The High Heid Yins of Rangers and Celtic are not to blame for Bigotry and Sectarianism in Scotland, it's a bit more widely ingrained than in their fan base, but, it suits “The Suits” to ignore “Scotland's Not-So Secret Shame” - the bile and invective and rake-in the cash at the turnstiles and the club shops.

The late, great Ian Archer got the Rangers support in one, 50 years ago now. They may have calmed down a bit in the intervening years, but, The Bears' ability to shite in the streets of Glasgow, if not in thr woods, was again demonstrated on Sunday.

On the other side of the coin, Celtic's Green Brigade have their moments when you realise, there is intelligent thought there, but, at other times, they can match any degree of silliness across the city. I get the distinct impression, neither club has a Scooby what they should do about these young and ultra-commited fans.

Now, I may be wrong in blaming these twa cheeks o' the same erse for causing Sunday's shite-show in the city centre, but, the fact the loonies seen running wild were all dressed alike, does indicate a degree of fore-thought – laced with an incredulous: “What were they thinking” - other than “We're untouchable.”

I missed most of the match, due to a family commitment, switching-on in time to see time added-on, the half hour of official Extra Time and the penalty shoot-out. Now, we all know this is a flawed Rangers team which still needs work. But, given how his team eventually won, I feel Mr Desmond should be having a word with his underlings – he is clearly not getting value for money for the millions of Euros he has invested in his squad.

The irony, of course, is that the mainly-Scottish followers who yearn to be Irish, have more Scots to support than the mainly Scottish follow-followers who yearn to be English have, just another part of the madness of this fixture.

Of course, the use of pyrotechnics was again pounced upon by the remnants of our mainstream media, a branch of Scottish life which, like the decision-makers within football governance, is quite happy to wring their hands and moan about Old Firm misbehaviour – just don't expect them to do anything concrete about it.

Sectarianism and Bigotry is not “Scotland's Secret Shame” - because it hasn't been a secret for at least my life-time, if not a lot longer. Scottish Football's Secret Shame is the fact, these two clubs are out of control, just as they have been for more than the last 100 years, and Scottish Football is not prepared to bring them to heel.

When you see the Green Brigade or the Union Bears putting-on one of their orchestrated displays before and during games, you have to accept, it's all being done with some degree of acknowledgement from the clubs – so there has to be, even via the back-door, some sort of conversation between fans group and club. Well then, make the clubs responsible for the behaviour of their fans.

It's the same with doling-out away tickets, you are never going to get all the Old Firm season ticket holders, or official supporters club members into any other other ten Premiership grounds; so a system has to be in-place to get the smaller allocation of tickets distributed.

The clubs have to know, which fans group has which tickets, so, if ther are problems of bad behaviour, then it will not require the deductive powers of an Inspector Morse or Lieutenant Columbo to find out which particular fans group or supporters club, the neds belong to – deny that group tickets until behaviour improves and the bad apples are removed, and, in time, the problem goes away.

All it would take is the will to do it. I knew there would be a problem.

As for the game itself. Apart from the bit I watched live, and the goal flashes seen on the TV News, I didn't see enough to give a full critique. In Extra Time, both sides were playing not to make a mistake and hoping to win it on penalties. Nothing I saw changed my view, these are two not very good Old Firm teams, playing some poor football.

Eight of the nine penalties were well-struck; the badly-hit one was saved. But, as a young goalkeeper, I studied my part in penalties and had a pretty-good record of saving them, albeit at a far-lower level than a national cup final.

Watching the penalties on Sunday, I knew, even before the kick was taken, where the ball was going. If I could work that out, why did Jack Butland in particular guess wrong so often? Doesn't he, or his club, do due diligence on possible penalty takers, the information is out there?

Both teams would also, I feel, benefit from ditching the badge-kissing imports and giving a chance to native talent. Celtic have, at the moment, the “Fans on the Park” who dig that bit deeper. With John Souttar absent, Rangers are missing such an animal and they will win nothing until they get some back in the team on a regular basis.

Of course, that same advice about badge-kissers also holds good for the rest of our top-flight teams.