Yes Please

MARADONA for Villa - "Yes please" say I. After all they've already got Prince William as a fan, even if he has yet to be seen in the Holte End at Villa Park; so if an Anglo-German princeling is good enough for them as a fan, why not have genuine football royalty in the dug out.

Just a pity John Robertson packed his tent along with the Blessed Martin, what might the Villa players have learned from having Maradona and "The Tramp" on the training pitch on a daily basis.

Of course, it will never happen, and even if the impossible was to come to pass and Randy Lerner did give him the job, I reckon the Tartan Army's favourite non-Scot would have shot about a full team of tabloid hacks in the first month.

The press conferences would be great though.

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Week One of the new season, at least as far as the big, self-important clubs are concerned, and what do you know - the referees are in the firing line already. Between an assistant in the Wigan v Blackpool game who seemed to be making-up the offside law as he went, and Craig Thomson falling foul of 'Jack and Victor' at Motherwell on Sunday, the men in black haven't had the best of starts.

I try to avoid criticising referees; theirs's is mission impossible and what I always tell myself is: if football was perfect, every game would finish 0-0, because every pass would be to feet, every tackle would be perfect, every shot would be on-target, but the goalkeepers would make every save.

It's the imperfections which make it such a great game, the mistakes which undo all the coaches' careful planning and rehearsals. We don't look for perfection from the players, so why expect it from the referees?

They are much-maligned, but, we couldn't have a game without them and in my experience, referees care far more about the game than players or directors.

As the Lord taught us: Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive them that trespass against us. (I know that's the Church of England version, but the Church of Scotland version is all about forgiving debts and debtors - a most un-Scottish concept.

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HOW are the mighty fallen. Rangers and Celtic are now reduced to scrabbling around in the bargain bins of Eglish Premiership clubs which haven't got their history, support, standing or ambition, to take off their hands over-hyped, over-paid players who are surplus to the English clubs' requirements and have to be off-loaded on-loan to fit-in with the new rules about squad sizes and eligibility.

Now tell me money hasn't ruined football.

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AS a goalkeeper myself, I feel for Pepe Reina of Liverpool after his own goal against Arsenal. All a keeper can do in such instances is quote Forrest Gump: "Shit happens".

I well remember, many years ago, when he was first touted as a Scotland goalkeeper, looking forward to my first sighting of the young Billy Thomson of St Mirren. This came in a League Cup tie at Somerset Park.

Early in the second half, as he tipped away a shot for a corner, I opined aloud: "Ive been impressed by young Thomson in goal, so far".

Over came the corner, which Big Billy proceeded to punch into his own net.

There's only one response to that: "Doh!"