Jute, Jam, Journalism and Jiggery-Pokery

I HAVE long had a soft spot for Dundee FC, maybe it's the memory of Liney, Hamilton and Cox; Seith, Ure and Wishart; Smith, Penman, Cousin, Gilzean and Robertson - the immortals who won the League in 1962.

Add to those 11 greats the likes of Billy Steel, Bill Brown and Doug Cowie and you have a rich tapestry of football skills to admire. However, the last 30 years or so have been disastrous ones for the 'Dee. So long as they were Cocks of the Walk on Tayside, things were great at the top end of Tannadice Street. But, once Jerry Kerr and Jim McLean started stirring the pot at the bottom end, things got difficult for the men in dark blue.

It might be over-simplistic to say this, but allowing wee greetin'-faced Jim to walk out of the front door of Dens, turn right then cross the street, just might go down as the worst mistake ever made by a Scottish football club.

Of course, letting McLean go was maybe a managerial decision; Dundee FC's current travails stem from a catalogue of severe boobs from a series of directors over a number of years.

'Spivs R Us' perhaps ought to be the name above the main door at Dens, so many wide boys have there been inside the board room of late.

Now, as a result of this week's SFL decision to dock the club 25 points, the 'Dee are all but certain to be relegated at the end of the season.

Pardon me for not greetin' into my beer - they've had it coming.

Of course I feel sorry for the many decent, devoted 'Dee fans who have watched pantomime follow carnival, to be superceded by farce in the board room, as the various regimes have assumed then ceded control of the clubs.

Some, such as the Marr brothers were full of good intentions, but lacked the basic bottomless pool of cash to sustain unrealistic expectations. Others were simply outright crooks and, as ever, as they swanned-off into the sunset, the real fans were left to weep and moan.

Henry McLeish's soon-to-be-published report will be more concerned with the future running and shape of Scottish football. Dundee twice going into administration in seven years shows, the overall governance of the clubs needs sorting out too.

Third Lanark was brought down by a single spiv, Dundee by a series thereof - the common denominator was a long, sad, slow decline. Might it not be better were Dundee also to shut down? At least then there would be some good memories for the fans - not least 1962.

If not, and Dundee soldiers on, then sorry fans, you'll just have to grin and bear it.