Rooted To The Spot

WITH little or no domestic football this week, the Scottish papers have been going to town in building-up Sunday's friendly against Brazil at the Emirates - lengthy "I remember, I was playing" pieces from various Scots who have participated in our nine previous attempts to beat the successors to the ten Bangu boys introduced to the game by a dyer from Busby. And thank you to the Herald for Scotching the myth that it was an Anglo-Scot what introduced the Beautiful Game to Brazil. I would have believed the English introduced the game to Argentina, but never Brazil.

This morning's Scotsman went on at length about David Narey's "toe poke" and the Seville Fiesta of 1982, including the thoughts of Alan Rough on a game for which he has, over the years, taken some unkind criticism.

I am proud to call "Scruffy" a mate. He's a lovely man for whom I have loads of time, I have frequently had to defend him against the slurs of English media and fans who unfairly compare him to the mighty Clemence and Shilton - until that is, either I or some other "Sweaty" (Sweaty Sock - Jock) ask said Saxon to show me video footage of Roughie being nutmegged from three yards or being out-jumped by a five foot three coke-head. That usually shuts them up.

Anyway Roughie's statue impression as the Brazilian goals flew in is often held against him, but, as the man himself says: "Cubillas (in 1978), Zico, Rivelino, Falcao - not many ordinary players scoring against me there - sometimes you have to put your hand up and say, that goal was special".

Like Alan, I am a member of Lodge Number One of the freemasonry of goalkeepers - albeit at a somewhat lower level. It all starts on that first day of football practice at Primary School, as your "coach" puts you into positions.

Aye Billy - you're wee, ginger-headed, you'd start a fight in an empty hoose and you'd kick your grannie for the last sweetie in the jar - central midfield.

Tam - you're big, ugly, wan-fittit; ye canny pass, shoot, dae a step-ower or a Cruyff turn, but you're hard - centre half.

Alan - you've goat a perm, you're already tryin tae shag lassies and you're too nice son, awa in goals oot o herm's wey.

What they don't tell you is - all ten outfield players could in turn make a mistake as the opposition brings the ball upfield, but, if you can only touch the ball onto a post and it spins into the net - the goal was your fault. Very philosophical position goalkeeper.

Any way, given the quality of the opponent making Roughie look silly and given the Scottish goal was scored by David Narey - does the Brazilian goalie still get stick?

Someone who still gets stick is the Blessed Jimmy Hill. When you look at the current knighted footballers - leaving aside Messrs Charlton and Finney that is, why Hill, the man who fought for the over-turn of the maximum wage, who was a successful manager and chairman with Coventry, an FA Councillor, who almost single-handedly invented the way we broadcast football today and who is, by a country mile the best broadcasting analyst the game has ever seen isn't Sir Jimmy Hill is a mystery.

Not as big a mystery as is why it's Sir Geoff Hurst, but only Mr Denis Law and Mr Kenny Dalglish, but still a mystery.

I have always felt Hill, who has always stood up for Scottish football and who was a marvellous inside right to Graham Leggat at Fulham, has had a raw deal since 1982. He never called Narey's goal a "toe poke", but he did say "some might call it a toe poke", which isn't the same thing and he did add that for him it was still a good and welcome goal. We "Sweaties" can be a touchy and ungrateful lot.

Last night I was coerced into covering Ayr United v Forfar Athletic at Somerset Park. It was dire, 20 headless chickens racing around at 100 mph. At least, the match did show, we've got depth of talent among our current crop of goalkeepers with former Scotland Under-21 back stops Alan Martin (Ayr) and Scott Gallagher (Forfar) both, for me, enhancing burgeoning reputations.

Young Gallagher, on-loan with the Loons from Rangers certainly looks the part, he's big, athletic and agile and he commands his box. Martin has, according to the lads from the Ayrshire Post and Ayr Advertiser, been in awesome form since arriving from Leeds and if not as commanding a figure as Gallagher, he is still a good young keeper in the making. I will watch both kids' development with interest. For Gallagher in particular, should Rangers cash-in on "McShagger", who has a real chance to earn a big move if he plays at the Emirates on Sunday, then we could well hear a lot more about the boy currently with Forfar.

What was not so cheering about that Somerset match was the performance of referee Brian Colvin and his two assistants - shite would be too-kind a verdict. Forfar's Brian Deasley, who scored the only goal of the game, claimed afterwards he should have had a second goal in injury time, hooking one home when standing on the Ayr goal line.

"It was at least two yards over the line - how the linesman couldn't see that I'll never know", said the Forfar player - me neither Brian.

Even worse was Colvin's failure to give Ayr a penalty when Forfar defender Michael Bolochoweckyj flattened Ayr's Jonathan Tiffoney in the box. Mr Colvin indicated the Forfar man had got the ball - he didn't tell us if it was Tiffoney's right or left one, however, it certainly wasn't the one marked Mitre.

I can only assume Mr Colvin couldn't or didn't want to try to write down Bolochoweckyj.