Scweaming Old Firm

I'VE forgotten his name now, but wasn't it a former Chief Executive of Aberdeen, subsequently discredited if I recall correctly, who described the Old Firm as a couple of raddled old "ladies of the night", desperately trying to attract somebody to take them away from Scottish football.

This week I tend to think of them as Violet Elizabeth Bott.

This week should be all about the happiness of the Paisley Buddies at their heroes' League Cup triumph and about the preparations for WGS's first competitive game as Scotland boss, but no, the Glasgow drama queens had to scweam and scweam until somebody paid attention to them.

Let's start with this storm in a tea-cup about the Green Brigade being "kettled" by Strathclyde's finest and prevented form holding an illegal march to Celtic Park from the other end of the Gallowgate.

Don't these guys know - you have to wear orange sashes and bowler hats to be allowed to parade your bigotry through the streets of Glasgow. Them's the rules.

Not to be outdone, we have this week''s sensible comment from Chuckie Green - who thinks Rangers should be parachuted straight into the middle 12-club league in the new and not yet ratified 12-12-18 formation of the proposed Scottish Professional Football League.

I don't suppose it has crossed Chuck's mind that:

His team is still "on probation" and is not yet in full membership of the SFL, far less the new league.

Had the rules been strictly adhered to - "new" Rangers wouldn't even be there.

Even if they win SFL3 - ok, when they win SFL3, Rangers will still only be the 31st-best side of the 42 "league" clubs in Scotland - how does being 31st in the pecking order entitle you to a place in the top 24? The logic of that one escapes me.

But, then the Old Firm has always done entitlement very well.

With pronouncements like that, am I alone in thinking Chuck hired the wrong media ego to be his spin doctor - he should have hired Chick Young rather than James Traynor.

WHICH brings me to Chick's team - St Mirren: Aye Right!!

I am happy for the Saints that they won the League Cup, but, since winning that trophy means essentially nothing - it doesn't get you into even the Europa League for instance, it's a fairly meaningless bauble. But, the League Cup always has been very much a Cinderella trophy.

I have long argued that the SFL, who run the tournament, should be thinking out of the box a bit when organising it. Back in the day, when it was run on a group leading to knock-out quarter-finals format, it was a great starter to the season, but, over the years it has lost its way.

I reckon the SFL should insist that teams which enter should field mainly Scottish sides - let's bring back the "eight diddies" or three foreigners rule, which means, each team has to have eight Scots-qualified players on the park at any one time in a tie. This would surely do much to encourage home-grown talent and would surely level the playing field.

FINALLY, I am still beelin' over one match outcome last weekend. My ain wee team, the once-mighty Lugar Boswell Thistle were playing Irvine Meadow in a local cup-tie on Saturday at Rosebank Park.

The "Jaggy Bunnets" had well and truly mowed the Meadow, and were leading 3-0 after 70 minutes when the game was abandoned, due to heavy snow. Now, the last time Lugar were 3-0 up on the Medda, I was still in primary school, but, now the match has to be replayed and I have a feeling that the Meadow, who have been playing some dire stuff this season, will be more like their true selves and will win this replay.

I know Meadow play in royal blue shirts, white socks and black stockings with red tops and they were once known as: "The Rangers of junior football", but, this abandonment has me believing in conspiracy theories.

WE WUZ ROBBED.