THIS morning's "Hun" story - or Friday The Fifth - Craig's Back - will surely be greeted with unsurpassed joy amongst Scotland's legal fraternity. The prospect of wee Whytie and Wee Chuck Green going head-to-head in the Court of Session will surely cast-off any winter blues remaining among our hard-pressed legal eagles.
This blog has never deviated from the view, Rangers' travails will keep some lawyers in school fees, skiing holidays and trust fund payments for a few years yet.
Welcome back Craig - you've been missed.
SPEAKING of Lanarkshiremen named Craig - I have been remiss in not wishing wee Craig Broon a long and happy retirement from management. I shall be contacting the wee man shortly with an interesting retirement project.
I can provide him with the names and telephone numbers of a few somewhat miffed retired teachers, who are in good nick for their vintage and whom he never got round to when he was on the staff and they were students at Craigie College in Ayr.
Several of these ladies have admitted, they would not be offended were he to attempt to make their acquaintance, now he has time on his hands. Where, 30 or 40 years ago, they were not that bothered, today they would relish an approach from wee Broon.
AM I alone in thinking that ludicrous citing of Neil Lennon is perhaps a way of getting round accusations of Celtic bias by SFA Compliance Officer Vincent Looney?
Nothing wrong with a wee swearie, Anglo-Saxon is, after all, the lingua Franca of football - the first words any foreign imports to this country learn are the two commonest four-letter ones.
To go off at a tangent, when Tom Hendrie BA (Hons), BSc (Hons) quit as manager of St Mirren to return to teaching, I had cause to caution him as to his language. I didn't think his wee charges, whom he was attempting to get through Higher Mathematics at his Edinburgh school, would take readily to the sort of foul-mouthed, expletive-strewn rants he would occasionally direct to the hapless Saints players.
Hendrie, like wee Broon, had his brains in his head rather than his feet - but, he was still able to hold-up his end when it came to swearing.
Back on-message; as I was saying, to cite Neil for swearing is ludicrous, but, not as ludicrous as to NOT cite him for his post-match comments about the referee.
I appreciate the game wasn't Bobby Madden's finest 90 minutes, but, in the case of the "Portugese Porpoise" - Esmael Goncalves, who went down quickly in the Celtic box - if you look at the TV pictures taken from a position behind that in which referee Madden was standing, it is possible to agree that, in real time, in the split second in which Mr Madden had to react, it was possible for him to give the penalty.
Sure, Goncalves went down rather easily, but, don't most strikers these days; of course, the referee was conned. But, until teams who have such penalties awarded against them can call on cricket or tennis-style challenges and the video evidence is instantly analysed, we will always get such contentious or wrong decisions.
Neil Lennon has been a manager long enough to know this; he should perhaps accept such decisions, safe in the knowledge, in time he'll be on the opposite side and will get the benefit.
But, as the rules currently stand, he ought to have been invited to address his post-match comments, and I wonder why his Cousin Vinnie didn't drop him a wee line to that effect.
Or is that a conspiracy theory?
SPEAKING of conspiracy theories, Tucker Sloan, the esteemed manager of the mighty Auchinleck Talbot has had a wee moan in this week's organ of truth and journalistic integrity, the Cumnock Chronicle.
The 'Bot haven't had a game for a month, due to Kelty Thistle's park resembling Kelty Loch; maybe Big Leish, 'The Bard O' Kelty' has been going down there of an evening to shed his tears for his paralous Pars.
This state of affairs has meant the continued cancellation of the Kelty v Talbot Emirates Scottish Junior Cup quarter-final. However, Tom Johnston, one of the few Hampden "blazers" with functioning brain cells, has acted and ordered the tie to be moved to Ballingray's park, where it will be played tomorrow.
Now, on paper and with all the bookies, the 'Bot are the hot favourites, but, as Tucker has been moaning - they haven't kicked a ball for a month.
Kelty, meanwhile have managed to play a couple of away games in the interim, thanks to the good offices of the East Region of the SJFA, who moved the goalposts to help-out their team.
Tucker ought to know by now, if the Lanarkshire Mafia which runs the West Region of the SJFA can do anything to inconvenience the Ayrshire clubs in general and the East Ayrshire 'Big Three' of Talbot, Cumnock and Glenafton in particular, they will.
Keeping Talbot inactive suits them down to the ground, in my view.
Or is that a conspiracy theory?
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