Soccer's Silly Season Is Different

IT DOESN'T apply to us poor sports hacks, but, in "real journalism" - that portion of the paper between the front pages and the tv listings and adverts at the back - just before the "funny" section, marked on the editorial map with: "here be dragons", where we poor sports hacks toil, August is known as: "The Silly SEason".

 

During that month, all the honchos, the decision-makers, are either chilling-out in their villas in Tuscany, or in the hills above the Cote d'Azore, or sailing their yachts; so, back at the ink face, the cowboys and Indians make hay with the silliest stories they can find.

 

Of course, in the fitba world, July is the Silly Season, of transfer-dealing, pre-season matches and early European qualifiers. This month will not help a team win any silverware, but, can often give a clue as to what might happen when hostilities begin in earnest.

 

This year, of course, the World Cup kind of got in the way, unfortunately so for Scottish football, since, after six weeks or so of Messi, Robben, James Rodriguez, Neuer, Schweinsteiger & Co, we are back to watching McClogger & Co failing to trap falling bags of cement, or pass to a team-mate standing five yards away.

 

I note that, in early pre-season transfer dealings, Rangers have either been delving through the stock of 'Dad's Army Footballers' or buying cheap foreigners, while losing embarrassingly to the Californian equivalent of Shotts Bon Accord.

 

Celtic, at least, under new management, have already won away in Europe, and, in the process given a chance to a talented young Scot. Jings, crivvens, help ma Boab!!

 

Of all the pre-season moves, however, the one which has most-perplexed me, has been the way the new Hearts management has operated in terms of their goalkeepers.

 

I suppose, getting Neil Alexander in as player-coach, with Scott Gallacher as back-up, will work better, in financial terms, than keeping-on Allan Combe as goalkeeping coach and Jamie Macdonald and Martn Ridgers as goalkeepers - except, I reckon Comber is the better goalkeeping coach and Macdonald and Ridgers the better 'keepers.

 

Still time will tell,  but, if under Comber's tuition, a Hibs goalkeeper tuns-in a match-winning performance in an Edinburgh Derby at Tynecastle, Comber will be entitled to go onto the park, drop his trousers and point his bare arse in the direction of the Directors Box.

 

 

 

TIMING is a wonderful thing, all-too-often, footballers get it wrong, and, seldom more-so than in timing their farewell.

 

So, full marks to Philip Lahm for announcing his retirement from international football on Germany's return home from their triumphant World Cup in Brazil.

 

Truly, he went out at the very top.

 

 

 

THE Commonwealth Games kicks-off in Glasgow next week, but, in the city which developed football, that game will not feature; not being one of the 17 Games sports.

 

Back when it was announced that Glasgow would host the Games, I suggested to Commonwealth Games Scotland, that they should use their host nation discretion - which allows them to nominate one sport, not in the regular CG rota, for inclusion to host the first Commonwealth Football Championship.

 

I suggested they run it using Olympic Games rules - ie only three players over the age of 23.

 

But no, football wasn't a CG sport, it couldn't happen. Pity though, The four Home Nations, South Africa, Ghana, Nigeria and Cameroon from Africa, Canada, Jamaica and Trinidad and Tobago, Australia and New Zealand, that's a good field to start with - add another three teams and you'd have a good competition.

 

And, just imagine a Scotland v England final, at Celtic Park or Ibrox. It would have been a sell-out. Won't happen though, more's the pity.