NO!! - Ronnie, we don't want paragons, we want piss artistes

HERE we are, a few short weeks into Ronnie the Viking's tenure as Hoops Honcho and, the intellectual giants of the Scottish Football Writers Association are becoming even more than normally disturbed.

Already, it is being suggested that maybe Ronnie D is "Celtic's Paul Le  Guen" - a brave effort to bring European style and substance into Scottish fitba, but, doomed to fail. Maybe, as someone else suggested in a different context: Scottish fitba is too-wee, too-poor and too-stupid to change.

The latest stairheid rammy has arisen because Ronnie has apparently criticised the fitness and commitment to living a professional life-style of some Celtic players. This is hardly new, or indeed news. From the days of Hughie Gallacher, if not earlier - there are tales of some of the very first Celtic players, who were of course amateurs, being, ahem, unprofessional, when it came to training, preparing and following the lifestyle of the professional sportsman - we Scots have liked our footballers to be gallus, gregarious and guzzlers.

We loved the way Jim Baxter embraced football as: "a way o' gettin' tae shag better-looking burds, ken".

We pretended faux outrage when Jinky was carpeted by Big Jock for his fondness for a wee bevvy. (A "bevvy", by the way, is the collective term for a group of Scottish fitba writers).

Did the Tartan Army get upset when wee Bremner led from the front in breaking a curfew and precipitating the notorious "Copenhagen Affair" - naw, but, we weren't too-happy when big Jock McDonald stuck one on an aff-his-heid on the bevvy Billy. The Highlander's one-man vigilante act didn't go down too-well with the TA foot soldiers, justified though it probably was.

We loved the tales of the 1974 World Cup squad and "Big Helga" the over-friendly fraulein who "entertained" the squad in Germany. In short, we like our fitba heroes to be flawed.

The SFWA, the propoganda corps of the Tartan Army are no different, in fact, they relish bad behaviour in footballers. Totally focussed, dedicated sportsmen, who eat well, practice diligently, say "please" and "thank you" and generally try to live exemplary lives - well, the Scottish media finds such paragons "boring", "dull" and almost unworthy of their attentions.

There is no media mileage in a squad of players who are all intent on following a blameless life-style, were non-drinking, monogamous, paid their taxes, did good works and got to bed (their own bed), at a decent hour.

Therefore, in what will surely be a fruitless effort to forge a squad of such professionals, Ronnie is threatening the status quo. The SFWA doesn't do in-depth analysis of football tactics and practice - they want scandal and sleaze.

You're asking for trouble if you deny them this Ronnie.