Socrates MacSporran

Socrates MacSporran
No I am not Chick Young, but I can remember when Scottish football was good

Monday, 8 February 2016

You Can Keep Your Superbowl

ONE of the side effects of growing old is, you do not apparently require as much sleep as you do when younger. With my 70th birthday approaching faster than a North Korean missile, I now find myself seldom getting more than four hours continuous sleep per night.
 
One of the methods I have adopted, in an effort to get the maximum amount of sleep at one time is to stay up longer at night. No longer do I turn out the light and turn over once the late night showing of Reporting Scotland has finished; now, I look for something else to watch, before reading a chapter or two of whatever book I am on, then going to sleep.
 
Thus, on Sunday night, I watched the BBC2 coverage of Superbowl 50. I know, total dereliction of duty, I should have been on BBC Shortbread, watching their pathetic coverage of Scottish Fitba, except, as I said, I was trying to delay going to sleep.
 
Mind you, on reflection, that might have been better than watching the American brand of fitba. This involves watching and listening to talking heads who make Mickey Stewart and Pat Nevin look like Mastermind finalists, their inane chat occasionally interrupted by a frenetic burst of action, which leads to a mass changing of the playing personnel, umpteen action replays, more inane chat and, after what seems like an eternity, another short burst of action.
 
I realise, with 30 seconds per substitution, plus time added-on for that lost due to bookings and arguments with the referee, Scottish fitba now lasts a great deal longer than 90-minutes, but, honestly, would even the massed ranks of Ra Peepul and the GFITW stand for a match which lasted over three hours?
 
Thought not, that would cut too much into bevvy time.
 
However, all was not lost on Sunday night. We had the strange sight of Martin O'Neill, wearing a pair of earphones two sizes too big, pontificating on American Football, a game about which he clearly knew very little.
 
 
 
This strange appearance was, for the good of the Blessed Martin's reputation as a serious football man, thankfully short; but, it did spark off what I understand is known as "aTwitter storm", as various saddos rushed to tell the world, in 140 characters or less, how unimpressed they had been by MON's contribution.
 
The team sporting the red, white and orange colours won, with a wee bit of help from a referee, possibly Willie Collum's American cousin; who failed to spot that a fair catch by one of the opposition had indeed been good.
 
Ah well, clearly fitba's the same the whole world over, even if, in the good ol' US of A, they play football mainly with their hands.
 
 
 
MEANWHILE, having imported a lot of useless foreigners - and, to be fair, Alexei Eremenko - the high heid yins at Rugby Park are now reported to be considering Lee Clarke as the permanent replacement for the departed Gary Locke as manager.
 
Let's be thankful for small mercies, the talk of Souper Ally returning to Rugby Park seems to have been kicked into the long grass, but, I fear an Englishman who has won nothing of note  doesn't strike this Killie fan as a good move.
 
If we are bringing someone up from the south to run the club, I'd prefer we maybe enticed another Clarke, Stevie, back to his native Ayrshire. I know, we probably could not afford him, but, if you don't speculate, how can you expect to accumulate.
 
Stevie Clarke


RECEIVED wisdom tells us, the League cannot be won in February, but, for all that, there are some intriguing fixtures coming up this weekend. I honestly do not believe Celtic's title challenge is as fragile as some over-hysterical pundits would have us believe, but, Ross County are just about the last opponents they will fancy arriving at Celtic Park right now. Still, that's who they face on Saturday.
 
And, that's just one of several intriguing clashes. The bottom four teams are in head-to-head action in Lanarkshire, with third-bottom Motherwell entertaining Kilmarnock, and fourth-bottom Hamilton playing host to basement boys Dundee United.
 
At the other end of the table, Aberdeen will head up the A96 next Monday night, to take on Inverness CT, opponents who traditionally give the Dons a hard time on the shores of the Moray Firth. This season's title race is heating up nicely.
 
 
 
 
 

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