A Busy Weekend But, Not A Lot Of Memorable Football

LIFE'S a bitch, particularly for the members of the Scottish Football Writers Association's A-Team. Those poor wee dears whose life is spent on an endless walkway between Celtic Park, Hampden and Ibrox and wherever the Scotland team or the Bigot Brothers are playing got a nice wee jaunt to Malta for the weekend. The only bother was, they had to watch Scotland stumble to defeat against what is, by Italian standards, a fairly poor team, then file their reports.

Being outplayed and gubbed 5-0 we can all probably take, but, to be outclassed 1-0, that hurts. The Azurri could only get through a Scottish defence once, but were still the width of Valetta's Grand Harbour better than us. I knew we were bad, but, I didn't think we were that bad.

I suppose, at my great age, I am now a member of the Tartan Army's Home Guard. I no longer go off with the expeditionary force to foreign climes, but now I fear – we are no longer capable of getting it up 'em. I already fear for our 2018 World Cup campaign.

My lack of enthusiasm for matters Scotland was not helped on Sunday, at the Junior Cup final, when one member of the press corps revealed, he got the impression, at his press conference at Hampden, on Friday, that even WGS was having difficulty gathering himself for the Italian and French friendlies which will end this lengthy season for Scotland.

If WGS canny be arsed – we're awe doomed, doomed Ah tell ye.

 THE Junior Cup Final, or, The ETHX Energy Scottish Junior Cup Final, as corporate demands insist we label it was..... Well, to be honest, it was shite. A poor game, contested by two poor teams. Or, am I being too harch? Did I, like many seasoned Junior Cup final veterans – this was my 30^th – miss that sense of adventure, the whiff of cordite which you only get when the mighty Auchinleck Talbot are there?

Maybe aye, maybes naw. But this one, for me, never caught fire. As an Ayrshireman, I was delighted to see Beith keep the magnificent old trophy in god's County fr a fourth straight year, and a magnificent six out of the last eight years. I was doubly delighted for Beith boss, wee John Miller, as a player the scorer of two of the best cup-winning goals ever, and for Robert McCarter, my old mate, the long-serving Beith secretary.

Robert is one of the game's good guys, and he delayed crucial surgery to attend Sunday's game. To witness Robert walking across Rugby Park on Sunday, carrying the Junior Cup, was to see what it means to all those fanatics who keep wee clubs like Beith going.

 Robbie Winters - still a class act at 41

Sunday's game also demonstrated that eternal football truth – form is transient, class is permanent. Pollok were going nowhere in their quest for an equaliser, when, in the 70^th minute, they sent on the 41-years young Robbie Winters, to join younger brother David up front. Thirty seconds later, with his first touch, the former Dundee United, Aberdeen and Scotland front man levelled matters. They could have gone to penalties there and then, that was the only sniff of goal the Beith rearguard allowed him.

Prior to the elder Winters' arrival, Pollok's most-fruitful means of attack was Route One, for David Winters to chase. Beith, after a sticky opening quarter, always looked the likelier team thereafter.

 The Junior Cup Final skippers, Paul Gallacher of Pollok, left, and Beith's John Sheridan

It was a big day too for Beith's veteran skipper, John Sheridan. I grew up on 'Fun and Games wi' Andy James' in the old Weekly News. Tales of Wan Fittit and Invertottie Howkers for instance. Sheridan, to me, is veteran Howkers' centre half Auld N Dunne, made flesh. If you were looking for a blueprint for a junior centre half, you would pick Sheridan. Well done Big Man.

There have long been suggestions that Pollok's Newlandsfield Park is the alternative football destination of choice for the decent Rangers fans – the guys who like fitba rather than being up to their knees in something. On reflection after Rugby Park, it could be true.

The Pollok fans in the Frank Beattie Stand regularly applauded when a Pollok man managed to pass to an unmarked team mate, five yards away – that's classic Bill Struth Stand conduct. But, tellingly, Richie Burke's winning penalty for Beith had hardly stopped moving, when, the main stand was bare. Only one support on earth can clear a stand that quickly after a defeat, and that support is Ra Peepul.

THE weekend's other big final, the European Cup one, in the San Siro, was a much -better game. Well, it did have a better class of player, although, Real Madrid's Pepe would benefit from a couple of months in the West of Scotland Superleague – that would soon rid him of his play-acting and nonsense.

But, Sunday's Rugby Park game did demonstrate the benefits of doing away with extra time and going straight to penalties. The part-timers of Beith and Pollok were nowhere near as knackered as CR7 Gareth Bale and the other Galacticos, who had to play an additional 30 minutes, before they got to penalties.

And, by the way, Jordan Longmuir of Pollok and Stephen Grindlay of Beith, the respective 'keepers, had to work a damned sight harder in their shoot-out than their opposite numbers from Madrid had to in the San Siro. No penalties were missed at Rugby Park, but, three were saved. The Juniors at least got their shots on-target.

AM I alone in thinking, English commentators should be banned? I ask because of the performance of Darren Fletcher – no, not our West Brom one – the other one, who commentates for BT Sport – in Saturday night's European Cup final.

Fernando Torres - a European Cup Final loser

Before the game, we all knew he would concentrate on those players familiar to his mainly-English audience, Welshman Gareth Bale, former MU man Ronaldo and from the Atletico ranks, Fernando Torres. But, we also knew, English referee Mark Clattenburg, regardless of what he did, would get an easy ride.

This blog is on-record as dubbing Clattenburg: “The English Willie Collum”, in fact, I believe, oor Willie just might be the better referee – certainly he has never been accused of being as pro-Old Firm as Clattenburg is clearly pro-Manchester United.

 Mark Clattenburg, above, failed to send off Pepe, below, for over-acting and simulation

Fletcher made much of Clattenburg's withering looks at Pepe, when the Real Madrid defender was at his worst, over-acting following a coming together with an Atletico player. Listen, if Clattenburg had done his job properly, Pepe, already on a yellow card, would have seen red there and then, for disgraceful over-”simulation”.

Rugby's Nigel Owens would have sorted-out Pepe pretty damned quick.