Fitba In Edinburgh - Aye, Ye Never Ken, It Micht Catch Oan

I REMEMBER, 40-years ago now, seeing, for the first time, wee Bobby Knutt, doing his comedy act at Batley Variety Club. Bobby might these days be better known as an actor: “Albert Dingle” in 'Emmerdale' and “Ron Sykes” in 'Coronation Street'. He is best-known in sporting circles for his long marriage to the late Olympian 400-metres runner Donna Hartley; but, back then, Bobby was one of the top stand-up comedians on the then lucrative club circuit.

Bobby Knutt - his joke would still have legs today

He came out that night and knocked them dead. I still remember one of his gags: “What do I think of football in Sheffield? Yes, it might catch on”. After tonight's results at Tynecastle and in Copenhagen, surely some Edinburgh comedian will reprise that old joke of Bobby's.

OK, I know, it is an affront to Scottish football history, that Heart of Midlothian should lose to a MALTESE team. Worse that, after a 0-0 draw in Malta, they should be beaten at home. But, really, when is the realisation going to hit home up here – Scotland, the nation which invented the passing game, has been shite at football for years.

We have this guid conceit o' oorselves; Aye, we taught the world to play the gemme. Well, the world passed us bye lang syne, and we have done precious little about playing catch-up.

THIS unpleasant fact was reinforced earlier yesterday, by the news that Brian McClair was leaving his job as Performance Director with the SFA. Nobody is saying anything at this time, but, in the quaint language which is used in such sudden departures: “media sources understand”, McClair had grown increasingly frustrated at having to try to sell the SFA's development strategy round the boardrooms of Scottish football.

Brian McClair - leaving the SFA

Or, in plain English – the stumblebums, the butchers, bakers and candle-stick makers who are the directors of the Scottish senior clubs, as always, managed to frustrate and side-track the need for change in the entire culture of Scottish football.

This blog has been saying, ever since I started it – until we get rid of the “blazers” who stumble along from crisis to crisis inside Hampden and around Scotland, Scottish fitba will continue to fail.

Brian McClair is a mathematician, who was a more than useful footballer. He has hands-on coaching experience at Manchester United, probably the club with the best youth development record in British football. He is not a dummy whose IQ is the same as his boot size, or worn on his back. I thought, with McClair in-situ, we had a chance. Wrong again. Once again I say: “We are a' doomed – doomed Ah tell ye”.

SO, Big Sam it is, apparently. Barring totally unforeseen circumstances, Sam Allardyce will, some time over the next few days, be confirmed as the new England manager.

Sam Allardyce - his England appointment is probably bad news for Scotland

He wants the job. Sunderland will scream for compensation, but, will eventually, with reluctance, put England first and the big man will be in place. He will be greeted as the new Messiah, even by those newspapers which have, every time the job has become vacant and Sam has said: “Gie's the job”, poo-pooed his possible appointment.

The thing is, for as long as the directors of the Premiership clubs insist in recruiting players and managers from abroad, to the detriment of English players, managing England, and meeting the expectations of the decent English fans – of which there are millions – is Mission Impossible.

Good luck big man – you will need it.

Of course, appointing Sam is bad news for Scotland. Regardless of how England might do in the 2018 World Cup Finals, for which they will surely qualify, they are now, with Sam in charge, more likely to give us a doing at Wembley in November.