The Tartan Army - A Law Unto Themselves

MY OLD mate Bill Leckie always maintains the time he was most proud of the oft-maligned (by the Scottish Press) Tartan Army was at Wembley in 1996. You remember back then: football was coming home and all that. Sure, England beat us; Gazza scored a fantastic goal, Yuri Geller caused Gary McAllister to miss a penalty and, as a side show, the Metroplitan Police went into overkill mode to prevent bother.

At the end of the game, the Tartan Army were held back to let the bulk of the England fans disperse, before being released – the TA then marched out, singing: “We're shite, but we know we are”. Leckie was then working in London, and at the game enjoying corporate hostility, but, he says, he was so-proud of the TA, showing the England fans how to lose with dignity, it was, after all, only a game.

Today, the TA is in the dock again. The forces of the Unca Guid are decrying them, for booing Chris Martin onto the park against Slovenia, at Hampden on Sunday night. Now, I do not agree with home fans booing one of their own – it might be ok to amend that old Glasgow Empire shout of “Awe naw – there's two o' them”, which allegedly greeted Bernie Winters (minus Schnawrbits) ambling onstage to join brother Mike, to: “Awe naw, no him”; but, booing Martin on – not done chaps. Still, Chris had the last laugh with his late winner.

I digress, somewhat, however. I am, as I have oft said, loathe to “diss” Gordon Strachan for his overall performance as Scotland boss. The fact is, we could have a management/coaching team of Alex Ferguson, Jock Stein, Bill Shankly and Matt Busby, and Scotland would still be shite – because, we don't have enough players of international class.

Let's be honest here; when England were World Champions back in 1966, the only one of their team who was better than his opposite number in the Scotland team was Gordon Banks. Sure, you could make a case for Ray Wilson, Bobby Moore and Bobby Charlton being good enough to be in the Scotland squad, but, only Banksie would be a guaranteed starter.

Today, you could make a case for both Craig Gordon and David Marshall being a better goalkeeper than Joe Hart, but, neither Scot is as-far ahead of Hart as Banks was of his Scottish rivals for any combined team. We have too-many journeymen artisans vying for places which should go to artists.

And, for as long as we continue with the present out-dated and broken system in Scottish football, we will not be getting back to qualifying for the big finals.

So, Strachan is being asked to make bricks without straw, I wouldn't like to be him, but, that said, I do not always agree with the players he picks.

THE above was written but not published, because a humungous dose of “Man 'Flu” intervened, but, I have doggedly got out of bed, and, as I was saying:

THE commitment of Scottish footballers is apparently this week's top topic. Big Malky Mackay has had a go, suggesting today's young players don't seem to want IT – whatever it is, badly enough. I suppose the best example of what drives a young Scottish player was provided,many years ago, by Shuggie Burns, the former Rangers, Kilmarnock, Ayr United etc and Scotland Under-21 player.

Shuggie, now running an excellent wee pub on Prestwick Main Street, came up with what I have repeatedly told big Kenny MacDonald is the best quote he has never used in his series of top Scottish football quotations. One night, during his time at Kilmrnock, Shuggie said to a group of us hacks: “To a 17-year-old from Larkhall, getting into the Rangers first team is like having Miss world for your first ride”. That's it, the ultimate motivation for a Scottish boy footballer in one sentence.

When I worked at the Paisley Daily Express, I was down at Love Street every day. The Buddies, back then had a very good youth development programme. Everyone got his chance, often sooner rather than later. During part of my time there, the players had access to the new state-of-the-art gym inside the new stand, and, a manager in Tom Hendrie who knew how to make us of these facilities.

But, a lot of the players merely stood around and did very little – the young players who did put the work in, the likes of Chris Iwelumo, Martin Baker, Shuggie Murray, Steven McGarry, Simon Lappin and Sergei Baltacha got success, moves to bigger clubs and, although Baltacha's body eventually betrayed his talent, they benefitted from the work they put in. I would even say “Basher” Lavety benefitted from his short spell under Hendrie, mind you Basher's bothers – and I still love the guy to bits – were self-inflicted and inside his heid. Some of the others, every bit, if not more-talented, who didn't put-in the work, vanished without trace.

Saints also acquire a couple of former Rangers youngsters who thought, ten minutes off the bench in a pre-season friendly had made them: “A Rangers player”, Their attitude stunk to high heaven, a form of entitlement which had me shaking my head in wonder.

That was more than a decade ago, but, some of these young kids, with potentially a great career ahead of them, were simply not equipped to grasp the chance they were being given. Malky Mackay's complaints are nothing new.

On an associate subject, I notice the new Rangers' management team have cut down the days-off and are demanding a wee bit more commitment up at Auchenhowie. Not before time. I have long said, if our top footballers were exposed to the preparatory regime demanded by Glasgow Warriors, they would go on strike. Warriors are Scotland's best professional sports club, and this in part is due to the amount of sheer hard work they put in on a daily basis.

I HAD to laugh at reports this morning, of big Jim Duffy offering Neil Lennon: “A square go”, during last night's period of unpleasantness during the Hibs v Morton game. I would buy tickets for that, indeed, 9while I don't) so many people in Scotland appear to dislike wee Neil, if such a bout was to come to pass, they could probably sell-out Murrayfield, just to watch Big Jim sort him out.

Funny thing, though, how many unseemly touchline squabbles in Scotland in recent years appear to have as a common component, Neil Lennon. And him such a wee, quiet soul in civilian life.

I see we are again likely to have colour clash issues surrounding the Scotland v England clash at Hampden at the end of the season.

Whenever I hear of such controversies, I recall a tale “Kaiser” Bill McMurtrie, long-time Glasgow Herald rugby correspondent used to tell, concerning the Borders Schools Seven-a-side tournament. The final one year came down to Langholm Academy A v Langholm Academy B. Both sides, of course, were playing in the school's and the toon's scarlet strips.

To the organisers, it was obvious, one side would have to change for the final, but, neither septet would budge. “But, we'll not be able to tell you apart”, said the organising teacher.

“Aye sur, but, we'll ken wha's play fur whit team”, was the reply. Neither side changed and the game went ahead.

Now, surely, the England players will know who are their team mates at Hampden – the Scots certainly will, as will the fans. So, tell FIFA to stuff their colour clash rubbish.