“IN EAST AYRSHIRE, real men play junior fitba, if you play anything else – you're a poof, and if you play a game which involves wearing padding, you're definitely a poof.”
These words, or something like them – since I cannot dig-up the actual article and my memory isn't what it was – were written by one of the giants of Scottish local journalism: Allan Crow of The Fife Free Press. The Crowman, or Lord Affleck, as that great supporter and servant of Cumnock Juniors, Jim “Buller” Reid dubbed young Allan, when he was a junior reporter with the Cumnock Chronicle, some 40 years ago, lang syne switched from junior football to ice hockey coverage, but, he retained a healthy respect for the strictures of Ayrshire Junior Football.
I plead guilty to helping perpetuate the myths:
If it moves – kick it
If it doesn't move – kick it till it does
Nae bluid – nae foul
If you lose in the Scottish Cup – get a protest
If you want to get out of Auchinleck or Kilbirnie alive – don't win there
The club linesman never gives the opposition a decision
Ringers from Glasgow are allowed
Covering the Ayrshire Junior FA's disciplinary committee in the 1980s and early 1990s was one of the most-enjoyable periods in my lengthy career in sports reporting. During that period, I got some belters of stories to feed up to the nationals. I still value the support I got back then from the young Graham Spiers – we had a ball.
But, what I did learn back then was the love of the game which came out of the players, the managers and the committee men – particularly the committee men, without whom these clubs simply could not survive, far less thrive.
One of the rules, written on tablets of stone, in the juniors, is that: “The 'Village Idiot' gets his place on the club committee.” Junior football management really is a game for everyone, mind you, as I got into a lot of trouble for noting (tongue in cheek); the village idiot might get onto every committee, but only Cumnock ever makes him President. The disclaimer to this is, however, Cumnock doesn't have an actual village idiot – everyone takes their turn.
"Scoanie" Davidson being interviewed before the Junior Cup Final.
Just last week the game in Ayrshire lost one of its true giants, with the passing of “Scoanie.” His given name was Robert Davidson, but, everyone knew him as Scoanie - veritable legend in Kilbirnie, where he was “Mr Kilbirnie Ladeside.”
The Blasties were on the verge of going out of business in the mid-1960s, when Scoanie moved the amateur club he managed virtually en bloc into Valefield to rebuild Ladeside. He was manager for 35 years, during which he won two Scottish Junior Cups and a barrowload of local competitions, as he made Ladeside one of the leading junior clubs in Scotland.
He was also secretary, presiding over a hard-working committee of volunteers. He attracted lots of good players to the club, and, even in retirement, he was a familiar figure around the club.
Scoanie passed just days before his 81st birthday and his passing came shortly after that of one of Ladeside's greatest players, Davie McIlroy.
Davie also gave years of service, on and off the park, to Ardrossan Winton Rovers, and, during his many eyars of service as a PE teacher in various North Ayrshire schools, he encouraged and coached many players who went on to star in the junior and senior ranks.
One of the nicest guys in football, Davie will be another huge miss.
My own wee Ayrshire junior team is Lugar Boswell Thistle. Thankfully, they will still be seen around Rosebank Park, hopefully for years to come, but, this week The Jaggy Bunnets announced that two legendary clubmen, Tam McSeveney and Bert Esquierdo were stepping down from their work with the club.
Tam and his wife Anna were both in my elder brother's class at Lugar Primary School, where another class-mate was Bert's big sister Basilia. Bert wore Boswell's maroon shirt with pride, but his real commitment to the club was to be as a long-serving committee man.
In recent years, Bert's particular forte has been to make the Rosebank surface one of the best in the junior game. I hope they get the chance to see Lugar back playing soon, then rise again to the status they enjoyed in the 1950s – their work for the club demands nothing less.
LUGAR is my first club – in spite of having spent more than half my live surrounded by Glenafton Athletic fans in New Cumnock; my senior club, however, is Kilmarnock.
So, while welcoming the arrival of Tommy Wright as our new manager, bringing with him years of experience and some small successes, with St Johnstone, I have my concerns.
I feel big Tommy, although a fellow member of the Goalkeepers Union, is a case of the Kilmarnock directors opting for the tried and trusted – or, making the same mistakes in the hope of a different outcome.
Sure, they haven't got much change out of trying something slightly different in their last two managerial choices, but, I don't see Tommy, for all his proven track record, bringing about too-much change.
I long for the day, one of the clubs other than the Big Two would try something really different, in terms of player development and recruitment and club organisation, to really have a go at two clubs who, for all their advantages in income, infrastructure and support, are not that good.
A properly run third force in Scotland, could well overtake and embarrass the big two, and perhaps encourage others to really have a go at them. We need an alternative to the constant success of the same two clubs.
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