NATIONAL TREASURE is an English construct – a title given to the likes of Judi Dench, Maggie Smith, Delia Smith, Mary Berry, Joanna Lumley, French and Saunders, Bobby Charlton, Ian Botham, or Ian McKellen, to name but a few.Generally, the status is conferred on someone acceptable to 'Middle England' who has been around for years.
It's not a status we Jocks pay much attention to, for the simple reason, anyone who enjoys some success up here, usually, and who can blame them, fucks off to warmer climes, if only to escape that great Scottish antidote to success and getting 'A Big heid': “Him, Ah kent his faither.”
But, if we ever felt the need to have Tartan National Treasures, well, Ally McCoist would probably be in there alongside the likes of Sir Billy Connolly, Denis Law, Kenny Dalglish and Allan Wells. However, he did himself no favours with his all-too-brief cameo appearance on SPOTY on Sunday night. His over-view of the Scottish Football Year was definitely only for Bluenose consumption, no mention of how the feats of the national team, under Stevie Clarke have lifted all our spirits; he passed-over his old club St Johnstone's cup successes as quickly as he could.
It was almost as if somebody in the BBC Sport Head Office in Manchester sent out instructions: “Get Coisty to do 30 seconds, if only to shut-up the Sweaties.”
I suppose we will have to wait for Independence before we get a half-decent review of the Scottish Sporting Year, in football or any other sport; we cannot expect the District Commissioners at Pacific Quay to do anything likely to upset the higher-ups in Manchester or London.
Still, seeing Jen Beattie win The Helen Rollason Award was an unexpected pleasure, JR's daughter thoroughly deserves the praise for her very-public battle against Breast Cancer.
CONGRATULATIONS to Celtic on winning their 20th League Cup. The romantics among us were probably hoping managerless Hibernian could upset the hot favourites, but, this was one Christmas fairy story which was always unlikely.
Japanese striker Kyogo Furuhashi was again Celtic's main man, although, as is now seemingly his norm, he upset a lot of people with his well-known propensity for going to ground at the flimsiest excuse. Quite honestly, I don't think the likes of Jock Stein or Billy McNeill would have put-up with his “simulation”. He might be the worst offender, but, he is not alone in modern football – every club seems to have a player who wants to be Tom Daley.
You sort of wonder what Kyogo would have done if faced with a John Greig, or (in the interests of balance) a Tommy Gemmell – guys who had no time for divers, whose attitude to them (although there were fewer about in the 1960s and 1970s) was: “Here Son, Ah'll gie ye somethin' tae dive aboot.”.
ONE OF my class-mates at “The Academy,” as we called our seat of learning in East Ayrshire, to differentiate it from inferior Academies in Ayr, Kilmarnock, Glasgow and Edinburgh dropped me his annual Christmas message over the weekend.
Jimmy achieved his life's ambition in his teens, when he pulled on Auchinleck Talbot's black and gold stripes, at a time when the 'Bot winning a corner set-off massive celebrations. These were the fallow years BWK, before Willie Knox arrived to set the standards now being maintained and even surpassed by Tucker Sloan.
Having played for Talbot, Jimmy turned to rugby, and, the minute his NCB apprenticeship was over, he headed south, to University. Today, retired, he lives in the West Sussex stockbroker belt in some comfort and relies on the likes of me to keep him informed on events back home.
I had to inform him that Talbot will be entertaining Hearts in a televised Scottish Cup tie in the New Year. Like many Ayrshire Exiles, he has difficulty getting his head round this, but, he is learning.
Going to Fortress Beechwood will be a difficult experience for some of the Hearts players. In fact, I think even Craig Gordon will find it an interesting afternoon.
Even for Craig Gordon, Beechwood Park will be a whole new experience
When I heard the draw, I was reminded of a story told me by a former Rangers player, who, as a young tyro at Ibrox, was sent down to Beechwood to play in a testimonial.
This was back in the days when shorts were short, and, as he came out to warm-up he was greeted by two of the Auchinleck equivalents of a 'Cougar' or 'MILF', who invited him to: “Come ower here Son, an' gie's a feel o' yer gnadgers.” It is an encounter which left a mental scar w3hich still hurst today, 30 years or more on. Craig Gordon, you have been fore-warned.
I HOPE all those perennial critics of Scottish referees were watching the highlights, if not the live broadcast, of Sunday's game between Liverpool and Tottenham. If so, I trust they will shut-up after what looked to me like two absolute howlers from match official Paul Tierney.
Other than the extension of the particular SFA bye-law 1690-1888 whereby: a “red card offence” is not a”red card offence” when it is committed by the Rangers or Celtic captain has been introduced in England, and re-worded to read “the England captain” I can see no reason why Harry Kane stayed on the park following that potential leg-breaker assault on Andy Robertson.
I can see some justification for the Robertson red card for his tackle on Emerson Royal, but, for me that was, at worst, a yellow card.
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