Socrates MacSporran

Socrates MacSporran
No I am not Chick Young, but I can remember when Scottish football was good

Monday 14 August 2023

BBC Shortbread - Mair Like Purritch And Auld Claes

I HAVE long had my doubts about BBC Shortbread, oor ain, haund-knitted outpost of the English Empire. Even back in the days of Queen Margaret Drive, I thought it a strange organisation, low on confidence and, like so-many Scottish branches of a UK Establishment institution, needing permission from London before even going for a toilet break.

Particularly when it comes to sport, the Glasgow outpost has long had a liking for enthusiastic amateurs, rather than professionals. Now, at the highest level: Bill McLaren or Bob Crampsey for instance, guys who worked at the chalk face from Monday to Friday then picked up a microphone on a Saturday, well, they could do as good if not a better job than the professional journalists. However, The Voice and The Brain were pretty unique talents in their fields.

BBC Shortbread also inflicted on us, and still inflicts on us, lesser talents who should probably have stuck to their original career paths. More recently too, they have gone down the road of putting on-air coverage into the hands of retired footballers, many of whom emphasised the belief that footballers wore their IQ on their backs. This, I fear was all part of a systemic plot to “dumb down” sports coverage.

All is not lost, I have to admit. The front page of the BBC Shortbread Sports website on Friday had thumbnails linking to 40 different stories. Twenty-six of these are football stories; eleven are stories from the UCI World Cycling Championships, being held in Scotland; there was one Athletics story and two rugby stories.

So, while 65% of the stories are about football – the High Heid Yins at Pacific Quay have noticed, sports other than football are available in Scotland. I cannot help thinking, maybe if they employed real sports writers, they could better reflect the wide range of sports played up here.

For instance, our young athletes, in various disciplines, are doing rather well in the Commonwealth Youth Games, currently taking place in Trinidad and Tobago. The Commonwealth Games Scotland and Scottish Athletics Facebook pages are carrying stories of medals won and outstanding performances – it would be nice if the team at Pacific Quay, and the mainstream media in general, could lift their eyes from their fitba obsession and give the kids a boost.




BBC Shortbread were seen at their collective “best” on Wednesday night, with their coverage of the Rangers v Servette Champions League qualifier. Neil McCann made some good points, as did co-commentator James McFadden, however, I fear Alan Hutton and Stevie Thompson are definitely members of the fans with microphones sub-sect of the Lap Top Loyal.

The truth, as I see it, is – there are total frauds out there, guys taking a very-good wage from the club, who are what my auld Hun of a Faither use to describe as NRCs – Not Rangers Class.

OK Not being a Rangers' fan, I go along with which Rangers players did you least like to see lining-up against my side – Kilmarnock? By that measure, my Rangers Nightmare Team would be (in 4-4-2) formation: Goram; Jardine, Woodburn, Gough, Caldow; Henderson, Gascoigne, Baxter, Wilson; McCoist, Hateley. Measured against that XI, not one of the Rangers' squad on Wednesday night would make the Third Team.

That game on Wednesday should have been over by half-time, a half-decent Rangers' team would have put five or six goals on Servette. I predict problems in Geneva.




FOR A WEE WHILE on Saturday night and Sunday morning, St Mirren were sitting top of the league. This gave me the chance to ask two of my Buddies-supporting sports writer friends if they were suffering nose bleeds from such a lofty perch.

One replied, he was coping – just, the other, better known as a rugby writer, replied he was very-happy, but, more-concerned as to where the team would be in May. He's too-sensible to be in this business methinks.




I DO NOT often watch the top-flight English games. To be really exciting, football needs mistakes and the players at that level, while they may no longer have the individual skills of the guys I grew up watching: Baxter, Law, Best and Charlton, the Lisbon Lions etc., they make fewer mistakes, because they so-seldom attempt the “killer ball” the likes of Baxter, Charlton, Bobby Murdoch and Co would regularly pull off.

But, I did catch the Arsenal v Nottingham Forest game on Saturday, and was pleasantly surprised. The game, however, only came alive when Forest scored and realised – hey, we could still get something out of this.

Of course, it helped that Alistair McCoist was on commentary. He really is the best “colour man” in the business. I love Test Match Special, particularly when they go “off piste” to talk about somethng other than the actual game they are covering. Coisty has such entertaining moments, such as, on Saturday, when he got started on statues in Kirriemuir. The man is a National Treasure.






FINALLY – about this suggested £60 million joint signing deal, between West Ham United and Manchester United. I hear David Moyes actually negotiated a £100 million deal for Scott McTominay (provided they got the version that plays for Scotland and not the one that plays for MU) – but agreed a £40 million discount if he took Harry Maguire as well.



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