Scottish Fitba, An Ill-Divided Corner Of An Ill-Divided World

I CAME across some interesting comments on Facebook on Sunday. Several poster were less than enamoured at BBC Shortbread's Sportscene round-up of the week-end's fitba. Now, there is much to criticise and condemn about the way the colonial propaganda unit at Pacific Quay covers Scottish sport. For a start they dare not risk criticism and an early P45 by suggesting our domestic brand of sport is in any way capable of living alongside the real thing – “English” football. For another thing, few of their presenters and on-screen faces would get a job in the real world. Yes, there are the odd talented individual there, but, in the main – Nah.

But of course the main problem with BBC Shortbread's sports coverage – by which we mean mainly fitba – is their obsession with pandering to the Two Tribes in Glasgow. How football coverage in Scotland today cries out for a 21^st century Dan Archer.

 

Having worked under the Great Man, I know I have nothing like his talent or way with words, but, it is a sad reflection on the rest of us that in the intervening 47 years, since Dan's legendary: “Rangers are a permanent embarrassment and occasional disgrace to Scotland” piece, in October, 1976, none of us has come as close to hitting the nail on the head. Back then, Dan was a Partick Thistle supporter, the great Hugh Taylor was Kilmarnock till he died, Bob Crampsey was perhaps the ultimate Queen's Park man. Arthur Montford, remember, was such a diehard Morton fan, he got onto the board.

Alex Gordon, the great Daily Record/Sunday Mail Sports Editor was Celtic to the core, but, he had morphed into a novelist and serious writer before that little tit-bit emerged, it never showed in his day job. Today, BBC Shortbread's Richard Gordon is an unashamed Aberdeen fan, Bill Leckie remains a life-long St Mirren sufferer and The Scotsman's Alan Pattullo bears the scars of a life-time's devotion to Dundee, but, the vast majority of the working fitba writers are either Tims or Huns – I don't think you get through the door today otherwise.

OK, the following of the Big Two are a bit likes midges in a Scottish summer, there are an awful lot of them and they are bloody annoying. But, I sometimes wonder if the decline and fall of Scottish Journalism is not down to the men at the top's obsession with keeping the axis of evil from coming round some day, burning down their offices and smashing the presses.

However, I sometimes feel, as much as the rise of the internet has played its part, I think much of the blame for the way the various circulations have vanished down the stank can be traced back to all the papers deciding to concentrate on writing for Sean South from Croy and Billy King from Larkhall to the exclusion of fans of other teams or sports.

Then, there is the quality issue – the Lunatic Majority from both clubs can get as much mindless pish for free, by surfing the internet – no need to pay good money to purchase a newspaper and read the ravings of some of the great brains in the Scottish Football Writer's Association today.

The clubs treat the papers with scant respect too. One of the Good Guys, still at the coal face, a former colleague of mine, told me once: “I can more easily get an interview with one of the true global stars from a major European club than I can get to speak to the current cult figure at either Celtic Park or Ibrox. The two clubs' idea of media relations is poor to say the least.”

And they get away with it – few Editors have the strength of mind, when one of the clubs decides to ban a journalist, to say: “Okay, if you want to ban our guy – we will no longer give you the free advertising you get just now.” Mind you, to really bring them to heel would need a concerted, combined show of strength by the entire media, and that isn't going to happen.

But, in truth, the football field in Scotland is now, as it has always been, slanted in favour of the strong. The answer may well be, as their fans keep suggesting, that they bugger off to a European League. There, in terms of support – bums on seats – they would be big clubs, but, Scotland, while it is part of the UK, could not support their ambition. That said, in a European League, they might well attract some oil money and be able to compete, but, failing that, they would probably struggle.

Without them the Scottish League would be far-more competitive and might well be better. However, that particular change might not happen for some time. Where the other clubs could force change sooner is if they realised, by sticking together, they COULD force change through.

Maybe if the fans, through their Supporters Associations and the like, put pressure on the High Heid Yins in their individual clubs, to get off their backsides and demand change, things would change. That said, maybe it's just the Scottish way, to mump and moan and complain aloud, safe in the knowledge, real change will not happen.

The Big Two may have the money muscle, but, if the other clubs stick together they can force change. Will they though? Most seem happy to put up with an uneven playing field, in the hope of the odd lucrative cup game against either one, or, so-long as they're in the top division and get the four visits per season, they will put up with things as they are.

I referenced Dan Archer at the start of this post – I cannot help wondering, if he was around today, what Dan would have to say about the posturing of the Green Brigade, and Sunday's childish whistling and booing during the Minute's Silence at Celtic Park.