Socrates MacSporran

Socrates MacSporran
No I am not Chick Young, but I can remember when Scottish football was good

Monday, 20 May 2024

I Have A Severe Case Of The Dry Boak

TO PUT the 2023-24 Scottish football title race into commercial terms – Team Tesco just held off Team Aldi to take the crown, while Poundstretcher and the other market stall teams were far behind and off the pace.

Another view might be, a poor Celtic squad still had sufficent players of genuine Celtic Class, to get the job done ahead of a really-poor Rangers squad of whom only one – outstanding goalkeeper Jack Butland could be said to be anywhere close to Rangers Class.

The “Diddy Teamsdon't make me laugh; they offer no-more of a challenge to the Big Two than spear-wielding natives did to the guns of the advancing British Armies in the days of Empire. Sure, they will grab the odd victory, but, in the long run, might and money will prevail and the bigger guns will win the war.

In truth, it's hardly worth bothering about Scottish Football these days. It is a failed product, happy to continue failing. Present-day football economics mean, I doubt if we will ever again see any names othr than Rangers and Celtic on the League Championship trophy. I also fear for the future of Scotland's international team, for the same reason.

What, I wonder, is the use of whoever is running one of the “Diddy Teams” putting together a Jim McLean-style youth development programme. Suppose some club decided to go down that route and put the necessary club structure in place.

As soon as they finally got a squad of talented young Scots together, capable of offering a genuine challenge to the Big Two, those to clubs, in concert with English Championship or Premiership clubs would asset-strip the upstarts and entice away their better player, leaving the diddy club having to begin another long-term rebuilding project.

No, better to bring-in loanees and cheap acquisition from the Aldi and Lidl end of the fitba supermarket. You will, occasionally, catch either one of the Bigot Brothers on a bad day and reach the odd cup final. You might even then, catch the other one, also on a bad day, and lift some silverware, but, then the asset-stripping will be on and off you go again on football's version of snakes and ladders.

The Big Two will not change; currently it suits the other diddy teams in the top flight to not rock the boat either, so, the necessary changes will not happen any time soon. That will not alter the realities:

  • Scottish Football is in a mess

  • We are going backwards

  • Fans are losing interest

  • The game's High Heid Yins are not interested in change

  • Private Frazer was right

Ach! It wid gie ye the boak.




MEANWHILE – Glasgow City Centre was a disaster zone at the weekend, after the Celtic Family celebrated their title win. Now, this is not a cheap go at Celtic and their fans for their over the top celebration. Fine Ah ken, had it been the other lot celebrating, things would have been just as bad – indeed, given both clubs have a considerable following whose IQ doesn't even meet their shoe size, I dare say the other lot will take it as a challenge, to cause even-more carnage than Celtic's fans did, when they next lift the title.

We are the people” is a slogan which Rangers' fans have shouted loudly and proudly for well over a century. It comes, too-often with a swagger, as their massed ranks march down the highway, extending their favourite quasi-religious cult's summer “Marching Season” into the winter. The weekend's disturbances in Glasgow appears to be an increasingly militant Celtic following saying: “Anything they can do, we can do too.”

You feel for the harrassed and under-manned constabulary, trying to maintain public order, and for the over-worked Council employees, charged with clearing-up after them – not to mention the shopkeepers who find their premises vandalised.

The clubs will do nothing. They will quite happily sell the merchandise, put up the ticket prices. Accept the loyalty, but do nothing when the fans' behaviour gets out of hand. And the SFA, they are scared shitless to attempt to bring the bullies into line.

And our politicians – maybe if the fans were a bit more “anti-woke”, they might do something, otherwise, ignore them until there is a good media opportunity.

Again - Ach! It wid gie ye the boak.




I GAVE UP on the Scottish Football Hall of Fame a long time ago. Apparently the primary qualification for a place on the committee which decides who does and does not get in is that you be a hack football writer who is a member of either: 'The Lap-Top Loyal' or 'The Celtic Family'. True legends from the real glory days, when Scotland was a world football power are still outside the ranks of HoF indictees, while several little-more-than-average Old Firm players are in there – but, that's Scottish Fitba.

Sure, they have found a place for several of our special ladies of football. Rose Reilly and Julie Fleeting for instance are deservedly in there, but, you will look in vain for a representative of Junior Football – that community level of the game which means so-much to so-many in towns and villages across the country.

That there is as yet no place for Willie Knox of Auchinleck Talbot, or anyone from the legendary Cambuslang Rangers team, which ruled the junior roost before Talbot is a statement of the narrow range of interest in the people around the HoF.

Equally worthy of censure is their failure to recognise more than a handful of the past giants – for instance, that the likes of 1928 Wembley Wizards skipper Jimmy McMullan, and hat-trick hero Alec Jackson are still not inside the HoF is a permanent plook on the face of the membership.

Maybe if they removed one or two of the LTL members, and consulted the likes of Andy Mitchell, Scotland's leading sports historian, or evden gave me a call to seek one or two names, the membership of the HoF might be that bit more representative.

If they ever do get around to inducting representatives from the Juniors, one guy who ought to be a shoo-in for induction is current Talbot Honcho Tucker Sloan. His winning record at Beechwood Park eclipses even Knox's stellar record.

Talbot will not be in this season's Scottish Junior Cup Final, having lost to Darvel in the semi-final. They only finished second in the West of Scotland League, which was not a bad finish, given they were in the relegation zone for long enough.

But Tucker was conducting a root and branch overhaul of an ageing squad, letting several legends leave and feeding-in newcomers to the special demands of playing for Talbot.

By his and his club's standards, season 2023-24 was disappointing, but, I suspect, they will be back with a bang next season.

So too, with a slightly-quieter bang, will be my wee team: Lugar Boswell Thistle, who came with a late run to grab promotion out of Division Four of that same West of Scotland League. Onwards and upwards is the cry from the small but committed support behind The Jaggy Bunnets.







 

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