BEING ON THE SPECTRUM and having “a dustbin brain” - ridiculous facts lie there until retrieved at random – I tend to remember seemingly useless nuggest of information. One such nugget, gleaned from a 1970s sporets documentary, has it that Brazilian football tactics are based on the rhythm of the Samba. The men in canary yellow build slowly from the back, but, the closer they get to the opposition goal, the faster becomes the beat and the passing, reaching a crescendo as they shoot.
Ok, that used to be the case, sadly, since that terrible day those Germans took them apart, the Brazilians have been, by their standards, pretty dire; however, like all football romantics, I yearn for a return to greatness from them; and hope they don't have to wait as long as we Scots for the next golden age.
At least, when the Brazilians were very-good, they tended to move forward up the park, today, most of the top sides seem to take three passes forward, two to the side, then two back, before repeating, ad nauseum. Such negativity would get fitba stopped.
In fact, the modern fashion for “Possession Football”, where, rather than winning, the desire appears to be to not lose, it leaves me rather cold. I can barely watch Manchester City or several other of the current major sides play their seemingly interminable spells of Keepball. Although, I still feel the free-flowing Spirit of Shankly is clinging-on at Anfield and up the East Lancs Road in the Theatre of Dreams.
Speaking of the current crop at Old Trafford, I find I get more enjoyment from watching poor teams; you know you are going to see mistakes, and therefore goals. Thus, I was looking forward to Monday night's live Scottish Gas Scottish Cup clash between St Mirren and Hearts. Two bad teams, therefore, the prospect of some goalmouth action and goals.
I spent the best part of an enjoyable decade covering The Buddies for the wonderful Paisley Daily Express – happy Love Street days. That Love Street pitch was a joy for the teams to play on, something which could not be said about the surface at the new stadium, certainly the way the ball bobbled around on Monday.
Mind you, some of the greatest names in Scottish fitba wove magical patterns on surfaces which were Somme-like mudbaths in the depths of winter, and hard Belgian pavė in better weather – the technical competence of the players on view on Monday was way down.
Even old dinosaurs like me have to accept, today's professionals are more athletes than footballers, but, I maintain, the game is poorer for this. We are told: “The likes of Jim Baxter and Jinky Johnstone wouldn't get a game today” - more fool today's coaches etc, we'd get more entertainment in five minutes of Baxter being Baxter and Jinky doing Jinky things than we got in over two hours on Monday night.
Speaking of individual brilliance. I noticed St Mirren Legend Stevie Clarke in the stand at the game and for a while I was wondering if his thoughts had gone to: “Is Angus Gunn match-fit and back playing, because big Craig looks as if he has gone,” Certainly, Mr Gordon looked for a long time, anything but the great goalkeeper we know him to be.
Then came the penalty shoot-out and another demonstration of that old chestnut: “Form is transient - class permanent” as he produced two stunning saves, the first particularly brilliant, to set Hearts on-course for the quarter-finals.
However, my big take-away from this particular Scottish Cup tie was: is it time to either amend Extra Time, or dispense with the additional period and go straight to penalties?
In my sepia-tinted youth extra time and replays were the order of the day in knock-out competitions. My own wee team, Lugar Boswell Thistle's unforgettable run to the 1956 Scottish Junior Cup Final included second replays to get past both Beith and Thorniewood United, with those third games generating crowds which even Championship senior clubs of today would kill for.
Some 70 years on, the calendar is too-crowded for such niceties, far less the legendary story of the West of Scotland Cup final which, having been drawn on the very last day of the season on which play would be allowed – had to be replayed, that evening, after a two-hour interval.
Today, we still allow Extra Time, then, it's straight to penalties. Unfortunately, what we tend to see, and certainly did on Monday night, is, with the sides still level after the first period of Extra Time, both going into their shell, afraid to risk a win other than by the lottery of penalties.
OK, if we have decided, knock-out ties have to be completed in one game, then let's be inventive; try to find a Football equivalent of Tennis's tie break, without the added psychological pressure of the Penalty Shoot-Out.
What I would do is:
Cut Extra Time from two x 15 minute periods, to two x 10 minute ones
Make the first period a “Silver Goal” period – if one side gets one goal up in that period, game over, they've won.
If, however, the sides are still level after the first 10 minutes, we go in the second 10 minute period to a “Golden Goal” - the first team to score wins
If the sides are still level after the two x 10 minute periods, then go to penalty kicks.
I think this might eliminate the fear of failure retreat into their shell play which we witnessed on Monday night, forcing the teams to go for vicgtory more. For added jeopardy, we could even introduce random factors. How about, in Extra Time, after every goalless minute, numbers are drawn and (goalkeepers excepted) a random player from each side is withdrawn, thereby creating additional space on the park. After all, Football is now part of the Entertainment Business, so, let's entertain.
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