Rangers - The Unionist Club That Wants Nothing To Do With Europe

YOU can argue all you like about New Rangers, Old Rangers, call them what you like, but, one thing has remained constant through all the turmoil of the past nearly five years – the team in the blue shirts which plays its home games at Ibrox Stadium is still as much use as a three-pin plug in Europe.

Red Bull Leipzig might be the Gretna of the Bundesleague, but, they were still too-strong for Rangers in Saturday's friendly. Maybe the Gers should have stayed at home and tried to get some defensive cohesion going – the five outfield members of the Iron Curtain Defence, now all sadly gone, must be burlin' in their graves at the current comic cuts defending.

Of course, like Theresa May, Rangers have a plan – it only involves, if big Davie Weir is to be believed, spending upwards of £100 million, just to match, far less get ahead of Celtic. Davie son, guys of that quality will simply not come to play in our diddy league, just for four sold-ut Old Firm clashes per season.

These guys want to play Broadway – the English Premiership etc, they don't want to join a touring company going round the over-fly communities of Kansas and Iowa – which is roughly where the SPFL stands.

And, in any case, since that solid and upright citizen Dave King hasn't yet opened his £0 million war chest, I don't see many other investors being keen to come forward with the rest of the required readies.

WHAT is it with Ayr United and penalties? The great Johnny Hubbard, better-known for his spot-kick mastery during his Rangers' years, also tucked away a few while running down his career at Somerset Park, but, it is at the other end of the 12-yard zone that United excel.

Hughie Sproat, the only goalkeeper I can think of who could out-extrovert Alan Rough, was a dab hand at saving penalties, but, current United back-stop, Greg Fleming has really made a name for himself when it comes to saving penalties.

He was at it again at the weekend, with a save against Falkirk which got his side a crucial point in their battle to keep some daylight between themselves and St Mirren at the foot of the Championship.

As one who spent years covering games at Somerset, and who fondly remembers some of Ally MacLeod's marathon post-victory press conferences, I have a soft spot for the Honest Men and sincerely hope they can stay in the second tier, in spite of being one of the few part-time clubs there.

I have a lot of time for Ian McColl too. My mates who are regular Somerset Parkers tell me, if wee Ian could unearth a consistent scorer, all would be well for the wee club.

MIND you, THE game in God's County this week will be up at Bellsdale Park, Beith, where Scottish Junior Cup holders Beith entertain Auchinleck Talbot. It goes without saying, whichever side wins this one will be short-odds favourites to go on and win the Junior Cup.

Long experience has taught me, you never write-off the 'Bot, particularly when it comes to the Junior Cup, but, the black and gold machine has not been firing consistently this season – they have already lost twice to Beith in important cup-ties, and, with home advantage, I can see John Miller rather than Tucker Sloan being the happier boss on Saturday night.

But, as I said, you never discount Talbot.

I will also be keeping an eye on the game at East Kilbride Showground, where my own wee village team, Glenafton Athletic are the visitors. Some of the Glen regulars are suffering nose bleeds – it's been a long time since the 'Afton were as high up the league as they currently sit. As one worthy told me: “We're playing some great stuff, but, maybe not scoring the goals our outfield play deserves, but, we're winning and sneaking under the radar”.

A wee flutter on the Glen for the Cup might not go amiss.

SAD to see Graham Taylor, the former England boss, die, so-young, last week. Nowadays, to pass on in your early seventies is a bum deal.

Taylor suffered greatly from the machinations of the English red tops; that Sun image of his face superimposed onto a turnip, and the headline: “Swedes 2 Turnips 1” might be one of the great Sun headlines, but, it was cruel on an honest and good man, trying his best after being dealt a poor hand with the England squad he inherited. What happened to Taylor does reinforce the England Team Manager's role as: “the Impossible Job”.

The fact he saw fit to replace Gary Lineker: “The Queen Mother of football” didn't help make him loved. But, he was a good manager at club level, and, at England level, by no means their worst manager – probably just unlucky in his timing.

Then, of course, there was that ill-advised documentary on England's failed 1994 World Cup campaign – which really helped bury him.

Latterly he had become one of the radio “talking head” analysts who was worth listening to, since he knew what he was talking about. In this latter role, he will be missed and be very difficult to replace.