You Have Two Minutes On Captains Of The Scotland Football Team 1872 - 2017

IF I ever take a notion to appear on Mastermind, I might well take Captains of the Scotland Football Team 1872-2017 as my subject. It is something of a hobby of mine.

Captain Kieran Tierney does his thing (pic by Craig Williamson SNS)

I was pleased to see young Kieran Tierney handed the armband at Pittodrie last night. I do not see him getting it on a permanent basis just yet, but, I am sure, some day, not too far down the line, he will join the illustrious ranks of regular Scottish captains.

Mind you, old stickler for recognising achievement that I am, I am sorry the protocol, introduced by Andy Roxburgh, whereby any player winning 50 caps, gets to captain the side, if not on the actual milestone occasion, then at the first available subsequent opportunity, appears to have been ditched. Thursday night was the perfect occasion to hand Craig Gordon the armband.

Certainly Willie Miller turned-up to present big Craig with his gold medal, the SFA reward for 50 caps, but, what harm would there have been in giving him the armband on the night?

Craig Gordon - what happened to the captain on your 50th cap idea?

Young Kieran is still only 20, but, that makes him something of a veteran among debutant Scotland captains. John Lambie of Queen's Park, was just 17 when he captained Scotland in 1886.

Tierney's appointment seems strange in another way. Malky Mackay, we are told, will NOT be getting the Scotland manager's job on a permanent basis – if there is such a concept as permanency in football management. So, what was that all about.

If it was a one-of appointment, better, as I suggested, to give Gordon the nod, or, to ask a regular Club captain such as Hearts' Christophe Berra to do the honours.

To return to whether or not Mackay gets the job full-time. I can only repeat my assertion, I doubt if we need a full-time National Team Manager, but, we do need a full-time Director of Football, thankless task though that would be – trying to put some direction, planning and organisation into the chaos that his Hampden and Scottish football – either that, or we install the Donald as SFA President and sack Stewart Regan, replacing him with Mother Theresa Mayday – could they be any worse than what we have?

 Malky Mackay - the Lap Top Loyal and the stenographers don't apparently like him - the kiss of death

Even before Mr Regan revealed Malky's managership would be a one-game wonder, I knew he would not be staying-on. I found out, the stenographers of the SFWA don't like him, and as we have seen, a Scottish manager only lasts as long as he has the fans with lap tops on his side.

THE OTHER big news of the week was David Moyes' return to management with West Ham United – or Mission Impossible (insert number). Big Davie has been handed a six-month contract apparently, worth a couple of million quid – nice work if you can get it, or if you want it, with a board which apparently does not have too-many friends, even among themselves.

Moysie getting the Queen Elizabeth Stadium gig strikes me as a real-life version of that old NASA gag – it will be difficult for him to drain the swamp, when he is up to his arse in alligators. But good luck David. Question: is £2 million enough dough to require squireling-away offshore?

LOVERS of Hampden, for all its faults – and I count myself as such, should maybe start readying themselves for a parting of the ways. Because I feel the SFA might be seriously considering pulling out of the old ground.

Hampden - is this the start of the long goodbye

They will couch it in all sorts of remorseful words, but, the sad fact is: as currently set-up, Hampden is not fit for purpose, and it will cost too-much to put it right. In any case, I don't see how it could be done by 2020, so, I fear the long goodbye has begun.

I have no problems with the really big games going to Murrayfield. With its 67,500 capacity and its better infrastructure, it is a much-better bet than Hampden. I was speaking to a couple of Killie fans this week, who had never been inside Murrayfield until going there to watch their cub's game with Hearts – they were in one visit, huge fans: “Way ahead of Hampden,” said one.

 And hello to Murrayfield for regular football

Of course, the SFA pulling-out of Hampden is a clear case of chickens coming home to roost. When the piecemeal conversion from a dilapidated 135,000 capacity super stadium to what we have today began back in the 1970s, the SNP was a small, fringe revolutionary party. The oil was just starting to come on-stream, and Scotland was seen, from London, as a needy basket-case colony of subsidy junkies.

Maggie Thatcher and her gang could, and did, treat Scotland with contempt. I reckon, if we had had a strong and united cohort of SNP MPs inside Westminster back then, threatening the status quo, the Tories and Labour would have got together and, as a sop to Scotland, paid to properly upgrade Hampden.

They would also have insisted, as part of this deal, that Queen's Park relinquish control. We would have had a proper football ground, perhaps with a capacity of 75,000. Sure, it would maybe need upgrading today, but, with the main work done, that would have been a cheaper option than the guys running the stadium, Queen's Park and the SFA are looking at today.

And, I honestly cannot see, given their long history of mismanagement, how the SFA could approach a Scottish Government, which has to carefully consider every penny it spends, for funding for a proper upgrade today. In any list of things we want to improve in Scotland, sorting-out Hampden would be well down anyone's list.

In any case, I can think of at least two SFA member clubs who might consider they could make even-more cash out of the rest, if Hampden wasn't there.