The Clarke Era Has Begun - Let's Get Behind Him

BEING A born and bred Ayrshireman, resident in God's County, and having seen my first senior football at Rugby Park, I am conflicted by Sir Stephen Clarke's elevation to the position of Keeper of the Poisoned Chalice, or, Scotland Team Manager. I would rather we still had him at the Piedome.

Stevie Clarke - the new Keeper of the Poisoned Chalice

But, if he can replicate the uplift in results with Scotland he achieved with Killie, I will be happy. I am right behind him as he tries to get Scotland back to where we, the deluded foot soldiers of the Tartan Army believe we have a right to be – at the top table of world football.

So, I awaited with interest the announcement, this morning, of his first Scotland squad, for the forthcoming European Championship qualifiers against Cyprus and Belgium.

The names he announced were:

Goalkeepers: Scott Bain (Celtic), Liam Kelly (Livingston), David Marshall (Hull City), Jon McLaughlin (Sunderland)

Defenders: Michael Devlin (Aberdeen), Stuart Findlay (Kilmarnock), Scott McKenna (Aberdeen), Charlie Mulgrew (Blackburn Rovers), Stephen O'Donnell (Kilmarnock), Liam Palmer (Sheffield Wednesday), Andrew Robertson (Liverpool), John Souttar (Heart of Midlothian), Greg Taylor (Kilmarnock)

Midfielders: Stuart Armstrong (Southampton), Tom Cairney (Fulham), John McGinn (Aston Villa), Callum McGregor (Celtic), Kenny McLean (Norwich City), Scott McTominay (Manchester United), Graeme Shinnie (Aberdeen)

Forwards: Eamonn Brophy (Kilmarnock), Oliver Burke (Celtic, on loan from West Brom), James Forrest (Celtic), Ryan Fraser (Bournemouth), Marc McNulty (Hibernian, on loan from Reading), Lewis Morgan (Sunderland, on loan from Celtic), Johnny Russell (Sporting Kansas City).

Immediately, Clarke has brought-in three players who are new to the Scotland set-up, Aberdeen defender Michael Devlin and Kilmarnock trio Stuart Findlay, Greg Taylor and Eamonn Brophy, three players who played a major role in the success the manager enjoyed at club level.

This is nothing new, lots of past Scotland bosses have promoted players they worked with at club level. He has largely stayed with the players Alex McLeish used in his last squads, from the final match-day 23 which Big Eck named, for the 2-0 win over San Marino, only Hamburg defender David Bates, Cardiff's Calum Patterson and unused subs John Fleck and Oli McBurnie are missing from Clarke's selection.

David Marshall - back after a 21-international absence

He has brought back goalkeeper David Marshall, who won the last of his 27 caps against Slovakia, in October, 2016, 21 internationals ago. Clarke has also recalled Charlie Mulgrew, who won his 39^th cap against Israel, in the 1-2 loss in Haifa back in October. While Marshall, one of four goalkeepers named, brings international experience, another 'keeper, Liam Kelly of Livingston is also uncapped.

There have been suggestions from the press corps that the absence of Rangers players could back-fire on Clarke. Really? For me, the only Scot on the Rangers playing staff who is anywhere near international quality is Lee Wallace, and he is completely out of favour and leaving the club when his contract expires at the end of June. So, that one does not stand up to scrutiny.

The truth is, we don't any longer have “world-class” players – the Baxters, Laws, Dalglishes, Sounesses and Johnstones we used to produce at the drop of a hat. Scott McTominay may well grow into the role, but, we don't even, any more, have solid English Premiership standard players such as Darren Fletcher, who can do a specialist job.

Indeed, the only current Scotland player who might even make the long list for a Best in Europe or Best in the World squad is national captain Andy Robertson. What we do have, however, is a bunch of solid journeymen, who, under the guidance of a top coach – which Clarke has proved himself to be – will be difficult to beat and capable of, on a good day, beating sides supposedly better than us on paper.

That's where we are, get used to it.

What team would I choose? I do not normally indulge in the journalistic practice of second-guessing the national boss, but, in this case, I will indulge myself. I would go with:

Bain; O'Donnell, Souttar, Mulgrew, Robertson (captain); McGinn, McTominay, Armstrong, McGregor; Forrest, Russell.

I HAVE been getting some support from my personal Facebook friends, for suggesting, the weekend's two showpiece Scottish games: the Celtic v Hearts William Hill Scottish Cup final, and the St Mirren v Dundee United Premiership promotion/relegation play-off final were, to use an old Scottish fitba expression – mince.

Neither game gave me hope for the future of our club game, in truth, they were turgid affairs. I would not criticise Celtic for winning their third straight, domestic treble, but, given what a financial advantage they enjoy, they should have beaten a game but limited Hearts squad far-more easily than they did.

They got the sort of soft penalty which only the Old Firm ever seem to get – I wonder if it would have been given had VAR been in operation, to go ahead, while the cry was no defenders for their second goal

A team with the financial clout Celtic enjoy, for my money, ought to have won by more goals, and played with more elan, style and flair than Celtic showed. This is not a good Celtic team, but, they are far and away the best team in Scotland.

Second-best in Scotland is a very poor Rangers outfit, with not a single player whom my late father, old Hun that he was, would entertain as being: “Rangers Class.” Also, both clubs continue to employ a player – Scott Brown for Celtic and Alfredo Morellos for Rangers, who is, by the standards of their on-field demeanour, a plook on the fair countenance of the Beautiful Game.

That St Mirren v Dundee United game did give us an exciting penalty shoot-out, but, the two hours preceding the final drama was honkingly bad – a case of two teams terrified to try anything in case it back-fired on them. The fact the refereeing was honking too, didn't help.

You know, when you see that kind of fear, there is a case for holding the penalty shoot-out first. Then, at least the team which lost that would know – they would need to play well to avoid that result, and, it just might inspire them.

I continue to fear for the future of the game in Scotland, regardless of the fact Stephen Clarke might just work another miracle internationally.

Kilmarnock Will Miss Clarke, But,Scotland Has Won A Watch If They Get HIm

ONE OF the unfortunate realities of being a football writer is – you have to park the dreams of fandom: the thought that, just maybe Stenhousemuir might qualify for the Champions League, and then go all the way to win it – for the reality of them being a bog standard, part-time Scottish team, closer to: “won fuck all and never will,” than to hearing Tony Britton's take on Zadok the Priest blaring out across Wembley, as the Warriors prepare to face Real Madrid or Barcelona in the Champions League final.

Stevie Clarke - if Sunday was good-bye, Scotland has chosen well

You fight back the desire to write that Alfredo Morelos is a bawbag and Scott Brown deserves a right guid kickin' to report as fairly as you can, and the Sports Editor's bias will allow. You do it to survive.

But, in the pub, during the week and post-match, you are just as myopic and biased as your pal Tam in the looney section of the ground. Which is why, this week, I will be going out of my way to wind-up a former work colleague, as guid a man as you will find among the denizens of North Ayrshire's “Three Toons.” OK, that's a fairly low setting of the bar, but this excellent operator in the world of journalism, during a spell working in Aberdeen, fell for the false Gods of Fergie's Furies and today, thirty-plus years later, he is a committed Dandy Dons fan.

So, he will be getting pelters from me this week, after Killie's terrific Sunday show, in beating the Breengers to clinch third spot in the SPFL, leaving Aberdeen in fourth spot, and depending on Celtic beating Hearts on Saturday to hand them a European place. True fans relish such minor victories.

I have to say, that match-deciding penalty at Rugby Park was on the extremely boggy side of “soft,” however, given how many such awards the Bigot Brothers get over an average season – it was karma. Maybe the WATP mob will think twice about dissing Willie Collum in future. Naw, strike that – you cannot use think and Rangers in the same sentence.

Post-match, Stevie Clarke gave what can only be interpreted as a valedictory farewell speech. I am now convinced, some time this week, he will be on the track at Hampden waving the Tartan scarf as the latest keeper of the poisoned chalice, as Scotland Team Manager.

I wish him well, and I am confident he will be a good Scotland boss. He has the experience, he is the right age and as he has shown at Killie, he can get a lot out of limited players. Mind you, his job would be a whole lot easier, if the whole Scottish football system was fit for purpose, but, let's not expect miracles right away.

If he does take the Scotland job, Clarke will be able to resume living in England with his family. He will surely spend more time checking-out the Anglo-Scots who will form the bulk of his probable squad, while travelling to check-out the opposition will be easier from a house closer to Heathrow.

He can make flying visits north to check-out the Home Scots and liaise with the SFA hierarchy, the job is workable from an English base.

ASK ANY retired footballer, or player of any sport at a half-decent competitive level and they will tell you, just about the toughest decision they ever had to make, was when to call it a day. Few get the decision on hanging-up the boots exactly right – there is always a tendency to carry-on that wee bit too long.

Vincent Kompany

Well Vincent Kompany didn't say: “That's it,” in the wake of leading Manchester City to that unprecedented English treble on Saturday night, but, he certainly got it right in terms of when to call it a day from English football.

Certainly, there is a chance City can defend their three domestic honours next season, and perhaps add the European Cup as well, but, with the authorities going through the books under the FFP (Financial Fair Play) rules, and Pep Guardiola maybe looking at his next challenge, future success is not a given.

Kompany has the medals, he has the testimonial, he has set up his foundation – this is probably a good time to move on to his next challenge, making it in management, back where it began for him, at Anderlecht.

The Guardian published a very good in-depth profile of Kompany on Saturday morning. If you get a chance, have a read at it. I already knew he was a very good footballer, but, read that and you realise, what a great man he is.

I think he has all the attributes to be a great manager, I wish him well on the next part of his football voyage, but, City will miss him.

I DID an obituary last week on former FIFA referee George Smith, who has died, aged 75, after a battle against prostate cancer.

Geroge was one of those good referees – he was nearly invisible – who did his job well and without fuss. His legacy is his mentoring of up and coming referees, particularly in his own Edinburgh area. No histrionics, no fuss, that was George's way.

George Smith

Of course, he had the ideal background – he was a civil servant, and an HR specialist to boot, so, he certainly knew how to be neutral and get the best out of people.

Nobody had a bad word to say about him. Indeed, one of his pet hates was bad words – swear in front of George, you were in bother. He was clearly one of the good guys. He must have been, as an Edinburgh man, a devout Roman Catholic to boot, he certainly didn't fit the stereotypical view of a Scottish referee.

So, how come, given his background, he got to be the first Edinburgh referee to take control of an Old Firm cup final, is anyone's guess.

Seriously though, he will be missed, following 58 years of commitment to refereeing – the much-maligned good guys of the game.

WOW! Hollywood would never buy those two match outcomes

WE WILL surely wait a long time, before we see two such high-quality and exciting games, back to back, as the Champions League semi-finals which had us glued to our television screens on Tuesday and Wednesday nights.

Lucas Moura, Wednesday night's hat-trick hero

If the Miracle of Anfield was stretching the bounds of credibility, those final few seconds in the Cruyff Arena took us into the bounds of Saturday morning film matinees, as: “with one bound,” Spurs were free and heading for Madrid. Fleet Street, of course, treated these triumphs with their usual nonchalant understatement, as, once again England rules the football universe – with surely, victories to come tonight for Arsenal and Chelsea and a total English takeover of the major European finals – or is the curse of the commenter about to strike again?

Well, my advice to my English friends is, enjoy the moment, because I do not think there will be many more. The insanity of Brexit will not by-pass the Premiership and, I fear, for England's sake, that hubris is coming down the track to meet them faster than a speeding train.

You see, once England exits the EU, I still fancy, we Scots will manage to have our democratic wishes satisfied and we can stay in, everything will change – particularly given actually getting into England to work, even as a footballer, will become an awful lot more-difficult after Brexit and with the new harsher immigration criteria which the Toerags will introduce.

Liverpool and Tottenham are managed respectively by a German and an Argentinian. At the moment Messrs Klopp and Pochettino get into the UK under Freedom of Movement - Pochetinno because he was working inside the EU. Post-Brexit, we are into the realm of work permits and: “is there a suitably-qualified English manager who could do the job?”

The two clubs each listed an 18-man squad for their semi-finals; combined, these 36 players came from 16 different nations:

• 12 Englishmen
• 4 Belgians
• 3 Brazilians
• 3 Argentinians
• 2 Frenchmen
• 2 Dutchmen
• 1 each from Scotland, Wales, Cameroon, Croatia, Denmark, Kenya, Senegal, South Korea, Spain and Switzerland

Now, given that one of the major planks of both the pro-Brexit blue and red Toerags is: “Taking back control,” particularly of their borders and immigration, they are hardly going to allow crops to rot in the fields, because they will not admit the foreign labour needed to harvest said crops, while allowing the local football club to stuff its playing roster with overseas players.

Also, if the English economy tanks as everyone bar the deluded in government and opposition can see it will, the big clubs will not be able to sustain their current spend, spend, spend – on foreign players – management model.

So, my advice to my English friends is: enjoy this latest triumph for Mother Engurland, football may be coming home, but, it will not stay there long.

I WAS intending to publish my thoughts on what could be done with the remaining current “Senior” clubs, were the SFA and the SPFL ever to implement my notion of a top-class game, fit for purpose, but that must wait.

Willie Collum, one of the few people in Scotland who understands VAR

Because I see Willie Collum has come out in favour of the implementation of VAR in Scottish football. I should mention, this was Willie speaking as the elite level referee, considered one of the best in Europe, who has been trained in the use of VAR, rather than the gaffe and accident-prone Willie Collum who gets slated on a weekly basis in Scotland.

Willie is actually a very good referee – at least when outside Scotland. I have always rated him, in spite of his occasional brain farts. The man speaks sense.

Of course, it's not all about money – if the clubs can pay to bring in some of the non-Scottish diddy players they have been hiring of late, they can afford VAR, it's that simple. However, you have to ask yourself, how many “honest mistakes,” usually involving a couple of Glasgow-based clubs, might VAR prevent?

After a couple of months of VAR referrals, we might find Old Firm players able to stay on their feet in the opposition penalty areas, those of us who support other clubs live in hope.

Willie reckons its implementation might lead to a squeeze on referee numbers, with some of the present top domestic guys being taken out of the front line to operate the VAR system. I don't see that as a huge problem. Referees now have to retire younger, because the game is getting faster, so, put the older guys into the VAR teams – this lets young blood be given their chance sooner.

And, the SFA really should, as the SRU has done with one or two of their players, fast-track former players up the referee rankings. All it takes is a wee bit of common sense. OK, I accept, that is something in short supply along that sixth-floor corridor at Hampden.

SPEAKING OF a lack of common sense inside Hampden, it seems to be common across Scottish football. I base this observation on reading a story in this morning's Hootsmon, which speaks about the £6 million which Scottish clubs spent on agent's fees in the past however long.

Now, if a desperate club manager, Director of Football or even Chairman calls up and agent and pleads: “Get me a half-decent centre-half, quickly,” well the agent has every right to charge a “finder's fee” or whatever – I have no problem with that.

However, the break down of the figures shows that the £6 million total was split roughly 50/50 between club agents' fees, accrued in circumstances such as that outlined in the last paragraph, and player's agents' fees – whereby the club is paying fees to the agent of the player they are signing.

Come on, that agent, if he is doing his job properly for his client, the player, should be screwing as good a deal out of the club as he can – yet the club is, as well as taking-on the player, paying him, probably if he is from outside Scotland putting together and paying for a resettlement package, is expected to pay commission to the player's agent.

That needlessly spent £6 million would go a long way towards paying for VAR, methinks. In reality, as I see it, paying the agent who represents the player you are trying to sign is bribery, or, to those who have spent time in the Middle East, paying baksheesh. And they agree to this – madness, sheer madness.

They're debating change - what are the odds they will get it wrong again?

IT HAS BEEN a harbinger of summer almost since I was a boy. To what do I refer? Why, the annual outpourings of shite from the red top rottweilers of the popular newspaper sports desk, usually announced with a banner headline:

 “Celtic keen on O'Bogtrotter” 

“Rangers set to bid for McGlumpher”

Generally about 2% of these “Exclusives” turn out to be true; the modern expression is “Clickbait.” The gullible will buy the paper, or log onto the website, just to see who their club's next big signing is going to be – or more likely not be.

Harmless fun for the most part, except, these days this click bait is put up on a regular basis, year-round when it used to be an April to August phenomenon. Well, it keeps the weans off the streets. Another difference between then and now, is these transfer targets are now more likely to be foreign players than Scots, and that worries me.

I long, increasingly in a forlorn and hopeless manner, for the day when the SFA “suits” will grow a pair and start doing what they are supposed to – put Scottish fitba first. But, for as long as all clubs are equal but two clubs are more-equal than all the rest combined, we will not see the changes which are necessary to restore Scottish football to oor guid conceit o oorsels, far less where we seek to be in reality.

And, when the mighty brain power of our paid officials and elected officers is put towards change, they generally get it wrong – badly wrong. Take their latest wheeze; it's a doosie – except, in this case there can be no even subliminal reference to the mighty Duesenburg Model J, supposedly America's finest pre-World War II automobile, and the origin of the phrase: “It's a doosie.” Naw, this one is more Chevrolet Corvair, supposedly the worst car Detroit ever produced.

It seems the SPFL Premiership could, in season 2020-21, become a 12-club league, rather than the current 10-club one, with the clubs playing a total of 44 games per league season. This change would be made, by abolishing relegation next season, promoting the top two in League One automatically, abolishing relegation from League One, promoting the top two from League Two and either – bringing both the Highland and Lowland League Champions, or, perhaps, bringing two Premiership “Colts” team into League Two.

Would anyone like to hazard a guess on which two Colts teams? Thought not.

Actually, putting Young Celtic and Young Rangers into League Two might well help the teams in that division. Look at it this way: if Celtic were up in Aberdeen, with only 8000 Hoops fans allowed to see the game live, perhaps a decent number of the 42,000 Celtic season ticket holders denied access to the game, might feel inclined to go along and see the Young team playing at Albion Rovers or Clyde.

Similarly, when Rangers are well out of Glasgow, might a similar percentage of their 32,000 temporarily disenfranchised season ticket holders not feel the urge to go to a local ground to see their young talent? Such a scenario would boost the smaller club's gates.

But, that is the only reason for allowing the big two to put their Reserves into the main league. It does have greed behind it, so, it might prove popular and therefore work.

What I think they ought to be doing is:

• Coming up with a definite criteria as to what facilities and staff a “Senior” football club should have.
  
  
• Something like – an all-seater stadium with a minimum number of seats
  
  
• Be full-time
  
  
• Have a certain number of qualified coaches
  
  
• Minimum standards for floodlights, and for the pitch and ground
  
  
• No relegation, but, clubs excluded from the initial leagues could join as expansion teams if they met the minimum facilities standards and had been consistently high performers in the minor leagues.
  
  
  [And, after the moger which emerged this week, over Bonnyrigg Rose seeing the rules changed at the last second, to prevent them being promoted to the Lowland League - a wee bit of consistency would help]

I would like to see consideration given to mimicking rugby's PRO14, and operating a two conference system. Say, and this is I would say eminently possible, the SFA and SPFL went for this, and some 20 clubs were considered fit for purpose and could be classed as “Senior Clubs,” split them into two x ten club conferences.

As with the PRO14 each team would play every other team in their conference home and away, and play each of the teams in the other conference once per season. This would give a 28-game regular season.

At the end of the regular season, the top four clubs in each conference would play cross-ties, the clubs finishing first to fourth in one conference facing the clubs finishing fourth to first in the other – home and away. The four winners would go on play down to a Grand Final, and a third v fourth play-off to settle the positions for the European competitions the following season. And, if we ever get high enough up UEFA's rankings to have more than four clubs in Europe in any one season, the four quarter-final losers in the play-off cross ties could play down for that honour.

I would also, if I was on the SFA, INSIST that we put Scottish players first. I would follow the example of the English Rugby Football Union and make it compulsory for the receipt of central funding distributed by the SFA or the League, that clubs have, in every game, a squad of players of whom 75% are Scotland-qualified.

Each club would name a 16-man squad (11 starters, three from the five on the bench to be used as subs), but, at least 12 of these 16 players would have to be eligible to play for Scotland.

I would also insist, since the League Cup does not bestow European competition on the winners, each club's League Cup squad should be made-up, entirely of Scotland-qualified players. Let's stop importing third or fourth rate non-Scots and give our own guys a chance.

But, what about the other clubs? I hear you asking that question. That issue I will deal with in my next blog, as I further investigate the state of Scottish fitba.

A Richly-Deserved Honour

MAYBE it was subliminal messaging, but, back at that Christmas-time, in the 1950s, when I asked for a football strip from Santa, the old guy in the red suit perhaps sowed a seed, when the one he left me was a blue and white hooped one.

"Sir" Stevie Clarke

Or maybe it was because that particular Santa's grotto was in Lauder's department store in Kilmarnock. Any way, back then, I didn't have a senior football team – my fitba heart, then, as now, was pledged to Lugar Boswell Thistle – the mighty “Jaggy Bunnets.” You see, that's the thing in. the East Ayrshire Coalfield. You might troop off to Celtic Park, Ibrox, Rugby Park or Somerset Park on a Saturday, but, your number one team is always the village side.

For my Dad, who was an old Hun, Muirkirk Juniors was his side; it's Lugar for me, while my Grandson, even though he now lives and works in Aberdeen, is still a fully paid-up member of the Glenafton Athletic Barmy Red Army.

So, it has nearly always been Lugar first, Kilmarnock second. I confess, in my teens, lodging with an aunt and uncle in Glasgow, I strayed briefly off the path of truth and decency, beguiled by a slim sorcerer wearing a number six jersey, I was, for a time – A Hun, but, honest, I'm better now, and have been for a long time. It was a brief, teenage crush of which I am suitably ashamed.

This morning, I am delighted to see the great “Sir” Stephen Clarke rightfully honoured, by being named as the PFA Scotland Manager of the Year. He deserves this accolade, in recognition of the way he has turned around our fortunes.

It is not yet certain, but, Killie are looking good for a return to European competition next season, by finishing in the top four in the Premiership. If we remain in our current third spot, it is certain, even dropping to fourth will be sufficient, assuming Celtic beat Hearts in the Scottish Cup Final.

That would be terrific. Clarke has definitely turned things around,brought the fans back and delivered exciting, winning football – but, and how sad there has to be a but, we don't know how long he will hang around his native Ayrshire.

When Stevie came “home”, he perhaps saw it as a chance to rebuild a reputation which had been somewhat tarnished by the weird politics of English football – where he had lost jobs for reasons nothing to do with his proven competence as a manager.

He came home, but, significantly, he left his wife and kids down south; and he has never hidden the fact, he sees his long-term football future as being in England. I wonder, however, if this is still the case.

In an interview, after winning the PFA award, he admitted to having a decision to make – professionally, he is perhaps better-off remaining at Rugby Park, working for his local senior club, with a club owner with whom he has a good reputation, and well away from the instant gratification: “We want success and we want it yesterday,” mindset of the English game.

Or, does he return to his family and the deeper, choppier waters of English football?

Stevie is now 55, I wonder if he would not perhaps be better seeing how far he could take the Kilmarnock project, remaining at Rugby Park for a further two or three seasons, before perhaps taking the Scotland job as he enters his twilight years as a football manager.

I know he is happy that he never had to expose his children to the dark side of Scottish football and life – the sectarianism and bigotry aspect. His family is, I assume, living in some quiet, leafy part of the Home Counties, well, might they not be as happy in one of the more-upmarket parts of Troon, I would suggest.

But, how much longer perhaps will he be willing to tolerate the class system in Scottish football, whereby there is one rule for the Old Firm, and a different rule for everyone else? Football administration, world-wide, appears to be in the hands of the stupid and incompetent, although, it might be argued, nobody does stupidity or incompetence as well (or badly) as the numpties on the sixth floor at Hampden.

Mind you, I am not entirely happy with how he has worked at Kilmarnock. I would rather see him scouring Ayrshire for local talent, rather than bringing loanees north and giving a

chance to guys who have maybe under-performed in England.

But hey, what do I know. I think I will maybe just shut up, enjoy the ride and see how far Stevie can take us.

SOMETHING rare, and to many people wonderful, happened on Saturday – Auchinleck Talbot lost at home!! The mighty 'Bot went down 4-3 to Kirkintilloch Rob Roy

in the semi-final of the West of Scotland Cup.

Well done to the Rabs, a great result for them – they will now meet Beith – who beat Glenafton Athletic in a penalty shoot-out in the other semi, in the final.

Talbot losing like that might turn out to be bad news for Largs Thistle, who are due at Beechwood on Saturday for a league match, which will also be a Junior Cup Final rehearsal. No way will Tucker Sloan want to see his side lose successive home games.

A Sad Week, But, Some Uplifting Moments

IN THE last month I have written obituaries on three wonderful footballers, who were also among the finest of men. We will struggle to see the likes of Eric Caldow, Billy McNeill and Stevie Chalmers again.

The late Stevie Chalmers - in a "proper" Celtic strip

I love writing obituaries – of course, I am sad that, as everyone must, the subjects have reached their allotted span in this live – but, I feel it is an honour to tell their stories to a new generation, most of whom never saw them play; to tell today's fitba fan: “forget the hype around today's so-called “stars,” these guys were the real deal.

It is another rule of football coverage, by and large, the better the player, the lower the ego – something true about Messrs Caldow, McNeill and Chalmers.

But, while the 'Celtic Family' prepares to say their goodbyes to 'Caesar' and 'DeSteviano,' there is trouble in Paradise – the 2019-20 Celtic home kit has not been universally welcomed by the Hoops Army.

Apparently the new strip is sacrilege – because the hoops are not hoops, being broken by too much white. Well, the answer is obvious. If, as we are repeatedly told, market forces rule; if Tim or Pat doesn't like the new strip – don't buy the bloody thing.

If the staff in the various Celtic Superstores could not get through the front door for boxes of unsold strips, if New Balance ran out of warehouse space, because they could not shift the new kits, they would soon sell them off at giveaway prices, and produce a different strip which met the aesthetic standards of the fans.

But, Celtic and New Balance know, some of the fans will whinge and moan, but, before they head off to Benidrom and Lanzarote furra Ferr, Tim and Pat, wee Liam and Patricia will be kitted-out in the new strips. Fans and their hard-earned cash are easily separated.

THERE IS only one thing to be said about this week's Champions League semi-finals, and that is, these guys are playing a brand of football with which we are unacquainted here in Scotland.

I chanced upon an interesting wee piece in the website of an Irish paper this week, which commented on how football is changing. Apparently there are a lot more passes these days, and far fewer old-fashioned tackles. This is a good thing, I have long agreed with the belief, tackling should be a last resort, better to intercept a pass and counter than to risk conceding a free-kick or penalty with an ill-judged tackle.

When I was in the Under-15 team at school, the teacher who took us, brought along a “guest coach” one night. This was Tom MacDonald, a young guy from New Cumnock who had played alongside Billy Bremner for Scotland Schoolboys' Under-15 team and gone south to the Everton ground staff – back then in the early 1960s, the prelude to hopefully turning fully-professional at 17.

Tom, like so-many. Didn't make the cut and came back up the road, back to New Cumnock, where he played quite happily for Glenafton Athletic. But, in that one training session, after school on a Tuesday night, he introduced us to “two-touch football.” You controlled the ball with your first touch, passed on your second; if you didn't, your side lost possession. This would be back in 1960.

Two-touch football gradually became one-touch football, and today is the norm. I read in that Irish piece, than Manchester City, for instance, average somewhere over 700 passes per game.

Now, back in the 1870s, when Queen's Park conceived “the passing game” and in the process bamboozled the hitherto dribbling-obsessed English sides, passing was considered not quite the done thing; why, as they Scots heaped embarrassment upon embarrassment during the 1870s and 1880s, putting together a 22-match unbeaten run, between April, 1879 and March, 1888; while still considering the Scots to be cheating, the English clubs were buying-up every amateur “Scotch Professor” they could persuade to take the high road south, to teach them how to do it.

 Wing Commander Charles Reep - the guru of Gerrituprapark football

But, rather than leave well alone, John Bull had to put an English imprint on the beautiful game. Enter Wing Commander Charles Reep and classic English “Route One” football – the quicker and more-often you could get the ball into the opposition's boxes, the more goals you would score, was the theory.

Sadly, over time, we bought into this English thinking and abandoned the passing game, until, even today, if a Scottish team passes the ball around, at about the fifth pass, a mass roar of: “Gerrituprapark” will erupt from the terraces.

As a then SFA council member, memorably told Hughie McIlvanney in the Hampden car Park back in 1960, after the epic Real Madrid v Eintracht Frankfort European Cup Final: “Of course the Scottish fan would not pay to watch that every week.”

Ten goals, wonderful flowing football, aye, you bet we wouldn't pay for it; we'd prefer a draw nae fitba, with three red and 12 yellow cards, four disputed penalties and a mass free-for-all in one penalty area for good measure.

Liverpool, with Scotland captain Andy Robertson one of their best performers, pretty-much matched Barcelona from penalty box to penalty box, but, when it came to putting the ball in the net, or perhaps more-markedly, keeping the opposition out, they came a poor second.

Lionel Messi

Lionel Messi, who, given he's only five foot seven, would probably have been dismissed as: “too wee” by any Scottish club scout, and never got a senior professional contract, had one of his quieter matches on Wednesday. But, he still scored twice, his second a quite wondrous free-kick from over 30-yards out. That's how to score your 600th club goal.

Did you see the shots from inside the TV booth, of Rio Ferdinand and Gary Lineker going absolutely ape-shit at the goal? Why, even Jurgen Klopp smiled – what else could he do? There is no answer to a strike like that.

And, what about some of the stuff Ajax produced in beating Tottenham on Tuesday? Quite wonderful football, of a kind you will seldom see in Scotland.

Celtic's 'Lisbon Lions,' including of course, Messrs McNeill and Chalmers, broke the “Latin” monopoly on winning the European Cup back in 1967. They failed to build on that breakthrough, however. Ajax came through in the 1970s, winning the trophy three times, since when, they have remained more-true to their club philosophy and continually been ranked above Celtic in Europe. Yet, they play, like Celtic, in one of Europe's smaller leagues.

Today, for all they are probably on the verge of reaching the European Cup Final again, Ajax are ranked 20^th in Europe, Celtic are ranked joint 46^th. Ironically alongside Inter Milan, their rivals back in 1967.

The Netherlands were Scotland's sixth international opponents. Up until 1929, we only played England, Ireland and Wales. That year, we did a European tour, playing Norway, Germany and the Netherlands, whom we beat 2-0 in Amsterdam. Since then, we have met the Netherlands a further 18 times.

In those 19 games, we have won six, drawn four and lost nine. Our wins came in 1929, 1938 and 1959, before the Netherlands broke their duck, beating an “All-Tartan XI “ drawn entirely from Scottish League clubs, 3-0 at Hampden, in 1966.

Of the 15 subsequent games, we have won just three, drawn four and lost eight. Clearly the Dutch have been doing something better than us these past 50-odd years.

So, why don't we copy them? Well we did invite their great football guru, Rinus Michels to contribute to an SFA “think tank”, whose findings are gathering dust in some lobby press off the sixth-floor corridor at Hampden, while importing Mark Wotte as SFA Performance Director in 2011 was another of those failed moves so beloved of the Hampden hierarchy.

You know, when it comes to fitba, maybe Renton was correct.