Much Ado About Two Very Average Sides

THE DAILY RECORD'S Sports Editor hasn't, yet, brought-up the cracked Rangers' crest graphic, but, should Rangers fail to beat Hearts, at Ibrox on Sunday, I dare say he might be tempted to call it up.

The hacks are equally delighted – Celtic's 3-0 win, at Celtic Park, on Wednesday night, sets the agenda for the next month. The hacks don't have to think too hard about what they are writing (not that the likes of Keith Jackson ever could). The agenda has the green bit of Glasgow on-top, with the blue half chasing.

Fair play to Celtic, you cannot really argue about a deserved win when there were three goals in it. The truth, however, which the solid, upright citizens of The Scottish Football Writers Association dare not tell you is, at the moment, Celtic are probably the playing the better football of two average teams, who are not, given the huge financial and support advantages they enjoy, significantly better than the other ten teams in their domestic league.

The following is entirely unscientific, but, still I think, interesting. Back in the 1970s, when Squash was the “must play” game among the aspiring middle classes, each squash club ran a series of ladders. These ranked the player in each and you rose through the ranks by challenging, then beating, one of the three or four players above you in each ladder.

So, I thought I would adapt a squash ladder to the current state of European club football. The 16 teams in the Round of 16 for the Champions League I ranked in order of their performances in the group stages. Next come the eight clubs dropping from the Champ;ions League into the Play-off round of the Europa League.

Next come the eight clubs who finished bottom of their Champions League group and are not out of Europe. Below them are theeight Europa League group winners, followed by the eight second-placed teams, ahead of the eight third-placed teams in each Europa League group.

Using my ladders method, we find Rangers this season ranked (at the moment) 48^th in Europe, while Celtic, who finished third in their gorup to drop into the European Conference League are currently ranked 50^th in Europe. So, not much between the two clubs.

If we look at the make-up of the top 56 teams (the ones still involved in the knock-out stages of the three UEFA competitions) we find Scotland is ranked eighth of the 21 nations who still have teams involved. England, Germany, Italy and Spain each has six teams still involved,France and Portugal each has five teams still involved, Turkey has three while we are joined on the two clubs still involved mark by Austrai, Russia and Ukraine.

So, Scotland has two clubs ranked in Europe's top 50. However, it's where the remainder of our clubs are ranked that is, for me, the big problem.

With the introduction of second chances (lose in the Champions League, you drop into the Europa League, lose there, you drop into the Europa Conference League, it becomes all but impossible to rank the clubs who don't at least reach the group stages of even the Conference League, the lowest-ranked of the three competitions.

What is clear, however, is, there is a massive drop-off between our top two teams and the rest. Aberdeen, Hibernian and St Johnstone, our three other representatives in Europe this season were all back on domestic duty, almost before the season had started.

Given the teams which dropped out of Europe in later rounds of the three European competitions, I would say their rankings will be some 100 places lower than the Old Firm's.

Until we sort our domestic league out and start to get back to where we were in the 1960s to 1980s, when Scottish clubs such as Aberdeen, Dundee, Dundee United, Dunfermline Athletic, Hearts, Hibs, and Kilmarnock were all competitive in Europe and Scottish clubs were regular visitors to the later rounds of European competitions, then we are only going backwards.

We desperately need to re-structure our league, to level the playing field and narrow the gap between the Old Firm and the rest. It is in the interests of the other clubs to make this happen – I wonder what is stopping them.

And, while we are at it, let's see ALL our clubs favouring Scottish players and giving our young talent a chance to flourish.

EARLIER this week I had to attend the funeral of a cousin. Obviously, with the Covid restrictions, this was the first set-piece family gathering for some time, so I was meeting up with friends I hadn't seen in many years.

One of my cousins came up with a belter of a story, from the glory days of Ayrshire Junior Football, back in the 1970s. It's worth re-telling.

This cousin was playing for one North Ayrshire team, his elder brother was playing for an East Ayrshire side. Now, the elder brother had a justified and deserved reputation as a “nutter.” He fully-embraced the gospel of Ayrshire Junior football: “If it moves – kick it; if it doesn't move – kick it till it does.” He was on first-name terms with the members of the SJFA's disciplinary committee, so-often did he appear before them. The younger brother – the narrator of the story, was a very-clean player, who seldom troubled the referees.

Any way, the younger brother caught the 'flu a couple of days before his side were due in Dundee on Scottish Junior Cup business, but, if he missed the game, his team would struggle to put 11 men on the park.

Help was at hand, however, big brother was serving a suspension so, on the basis the game was in Dundee and nobody would know any different, he would play in his wee brother's place.

This was agreed and away he went. When he returned to the family home that Saturday night, wee brother asked how it had gone.

“Good news and bad news – we won 3-1, but, you got sent off late in the second half.”

Wee brother then had to attend a disciplinary meeting, where he copped a 28-day suspension, in spite of the player he had allegedly punched insisting: “that's no the guy wha punched me.”

“Aye Ah did, and ye deserved it,” said the innocent fall guy.