Socrates MacSporran

Socrates MacSporran
No I am not Chick Young, but I can remember when Scottish football was good

Sunday 17 April 2016

It's Only A Gemme O Fitba - Or Is It?

ONE of the traditions of post-season Scottish rugby tours is that, on the appointed weekend of their toon's Common Riding those Borders players who are on the tour, be they in Australia, Canada, Argentine, New Zealand or South Africa, wherever, send home a telegram to the organisers, with just four words on it: "Safe Oot - Safe Hame".

Hawick Common Riding - Safe Oot - Safe Hame

What has this to do with football? Well, today of all days, we should surely hope all those making their way to Hampden for another traditional Scottish festival of community and togetherness are indeed; Safe Oot - Safe Hame.

The keyboard warriors from The Greatest Fans In The World have been telling us, since 2012: "The Old Firm is no more - Rangers died". Few now believe them,TGFITW will pack one end of the National Stadium, the fans of The Rangers Tribute Ace will pack the other. The tribal songs of hatred, support and passion will be belted out. If the Old Firm (1888 - 2012) died, it is holding one Hell of a wake this afternoon.

If "Rangers" did indeed die in 2012 and Celtic's opponents this afternoon is a whole new club, then that new club has amazingly quickly got under the skin of TGFITW. If it's a new club, that has never met Celtic in a league match, and which lost the only previous cup meeting between them, then such is the lack of confidence and belief among TGFITW, they are getting awfully aerated about what should be just another game.

Celtic will, rightly, start as favourites; they should win, but, will they? This after all is fitba. Let's hope, tomorrow, we are talking about the football, and not the shite which surrounded and, we must conclude still surrounds, an Old Firm match.



The Coffin Dodgers Lunch Club to which I belong was holding its monthly get together yesterday, thus, the closest I got to the Hibernian v Dundee United semi-final was listening to Sportsound on the car radio.

By all accounts, I didn't miss much - "A draw nae fitba" was one description. At least, the lieges got a penalty shoot-out to become excited over, and a new Hibs Hero, stand-in goalkeeper Conrad Logan, emerged.

The Irishman is, indeed a big man. Pictures make him look a tad "chunky", but, those branding him as "fat" perhaps should remember, one of the greatest of the many Scotland goalkeepers to have back-stopped Easter Road teams since the end of World War II, Tommy Younger, was the same height and weight as Logan. I do not recall anyone labeling Younger as "fat".
 
Tommy Younger saves for Scotland v West Germany in 1957
 
Younger, when he was dropped in favour of Bill Brown during the 1958 World Cup Finals in Sweden, was Scotland's most-capped goalkeeper. He was, at that time, a Liverpool player. One of his successors as a Liverpool and Scotland 'keeper was Tommy Lawrence: "The Flying Pig".
 
Tommy Lawrence in action for Liverpool
 
Lawrence, who hailed from Dailly in South Ayrshire, was another big keeper, while, across Liverpool's Stanley Park, the Evertonians still consider Welshman Neville Southall to have been their club's greatest 'keeper.
 
Neville Southall

It would take greater "Photoshopping" skills than I possess, to turn Neville into a stick insect - but, his prowess as a shot-stopper, also those of Messrs Younger and Lawrence, cannot be denied.
 
Conrad Logan (25) celebrates yesterday
 
Logan might not have the pedigree of those named above, but, his success yesterday demonstrates, you should never discount a 'keeper just because he is a big lad - and that's without mentioning the legendary Billy "Fatty" Foulkes, pictured below.
 
 Billy Foulkes


THOSE of us who confess to life-long addiction to following Kilmarnock have had little to cheer this season. The next few weeks will be difficult enough, as we endeavour to avoid the end-of-season promotion-relegation play-off and extend our stay in the top flight.
 
So what we don't need is the side-show of a legal battle over Rugby Park's USP, or Unique Selling Point - the Killie Pie.
 
I consider myself the world's greatest expert on this Ayrshire delicacy, and my honest opinion is - Browning's, who bake them, are at it in a big way.
 
You see, what is little known outwith Kilmarnock is, the delicacy might better be described as; "A Galston Pie", since it was developed in that Irvine Valley town by butcher, the late Billy Wales.
 
Billy, who died last year, came up with the recipe, baked them originally then when the legend took off, got Browning's involved to meet the higher demand.
 
Billy was a Killie fan. For my view, knowing Billy, Browning's have no right to the name "Killie Pie". They should back off, before m'learned friends get properly involved.
 
For my money, those Killie Pies produced by Billy Wales, were superior to the still tasty examples which Browning's now produce. Can I also say, the smaller-size Killie Pies, which we get served-up in the Rugby Park Media Suite, are better than the normal-sized pies the punters eat.
 
Browning's ought to grin and bear it, and pay the royalty on each pie sold which Killie are demanding. On this occasion, and just this once - I am on the same side as Michael Johnston. It is a Killie Pie, because it was developed for Kilmarnock FC, not because it is baked in the town.
 
 
 


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