Another Doing From Diddies - Disaster For Scotland

WHERE does losing to Israel leave Scottish football? I mean, everyone from Andy Roxburgh and Craig Brown has been telling us for over 30-years: “There are no easy games in international football any more,” but, we still go into extreme David Francey mode: “Oh dear! Oh dear! Oh dear! Disaster for Scotland,” when we lose to the team ranked 94th in the world.

Maybe some day we will believe Craig Brown's dictum - there are no easy games in international football

Let's be a bit more realistic here. The FIFA world rankings are a bit of a lottery. I far prefer to look at the FIFA confederation rankings. OK, Scotland are ranked 34th inthe World, but, we are ranked 25th in Europe. Israel are ranked 94th in the World, but are 42nd in the UEFA rankings. Put that into Scottish domestic terms: Scotland (25) are the international equivalent of East Fife, Israel (42) equate to Albion Rovers.

Now, try to tell me, the wee Rovers will not fancy their chances of beating the Fifers at Cliftonhill. In any case, we don't exactly have a great record in away matches with nations we view as “diddy teams.”

I think perhaps, the problem Scotland had last night – even allowing for it having been a bad night at the office – is this: our press corps don't like Alex McLeish. I don't think this will worry the Big Man over much. I mean, he's in a long line of managers the press corps has not liked:

• They didn't like Andy Roxburgh, but, he got us to finals, so, they tolerated him, until he fell-out with Richard Gough; whereupon the Lap Top Loyal turned on him
  
  
• They didn't like Berti Vogts, because he was German and struggling
  
  
• They didn't like George Burley
  
  
• They didn't like Craig Levein
  
  
• They didn't like Gordon Strachan

So, who have they liked? Craig Brown – ex-Rangers; Walter Smith – ex-Rangers manager; Alex McLeish (first time round) – ex-Rangers manager. I think you can see a pattern emerging.

There are two jobs within UK football which nobody with an ounce of sense should consider taking: the first is Manager of England, the second is Manager of Scotland. These are poisoned chalices, where expectations cannot be realised given the flawed system of self-interested clubs dominating the game.

Until we change the system, we will always struggle. Look at how well our Women's team are doing, mainly because, they work within a system whereby – the national team comes first, and the clubs are quite happy to play second fiddle to that national team.

I can never see the day when this will apply to our Men's team. Particularly while our football media is so deeply in thrall to the whims of the Lap Top Loyal and the Celtic Minded cliques within the Scottish Football Writers Association, and the clubs themselves work to the well-tried Ayrshire Juniors system of sending the village idiot as their representative to the SFA.

This rant is over; but, that said, you would think, at 71, I would be a bit sanguine about Scotland losing to a “diddy” team – I've had more than enough experience of this.

SO, GAZZA will not be joining the ranks of the Great and the Good inside the SFA's Hall of Fame. As I have said, no qualms about his footballing ability, and he certainly lit-up the game here during his short spell with Rangers. But, really, now is not the time, as someone repeatedly said.

You might, however, think, an organisation whose constituent parts – and the Scottish Football Hall of Fame is part of the SFA – keep fucking-up as spectacularly as the guys on the Hampden sixth floor corridor do, might have become a bit self-aware by now, and started cutting out the embarrassing bloopers. We live in hope.

I FEEL I should contact my old mucker Tam Shields this week, to check if he still has one of his legendary “Nae Luck” prizes, which he used to give-out when he ran the wonderful Herald Diary. No use asking Ken Smith, the current care-taker, since his budget has been cut to zero, but, Tam might have one hanging about.

Tam Shields - hopefully he's got a prize left for

In which case, I would send it to Darren Henderson and the boys at Blair Park, home of Hurlford United. Not that long ago, United celebrated if they won a corner; then they got sponsorship from a local fan who had done well in business, Darren arrived as boss and Hurlford took off.

Today, they proudly sit atop the McBookie.com West Region Premiership, the top league in Junior Football. They have won ten straight league games this season and have an 11 point advantage over second-top Clydebank.

Hurlford manager Darren Henderson

Tomorrow, Kilmarnock are idle because of the international weekend, and United were due to host Auchinleck Talbot, in a reprise of June's Junior Cup Final. Now, that game would surely have attracted a big crowd, except, it has been postponed, since Talbot will be playing Lesmahagow in the inaugural West Region Sectional League Cup Final, at Newlandsfield, on Sunday.

So, no bumper crowd for Hurlford – nae luck.

But, what of that clash of the Tabot and the 'Gow? Well, it kicks-off at 1.30pm, so, here's a suggestion to all genuine football fans, particularly the members of the Tartan Army. Why not get to Glasgow early, take-in the Talbot v 'Gow game, then make the short trip to Hampden for the Portugal game?

Mind you, perhaps not – I reckon the Newlandsfield match will be the better game, and Scotland might not compare too-well with the junior fare. In any case, with no CR7 to boo, where's then fun in going to watch the Portuguese?