What Would Wee Fergus Say

IT IS one of those games which congregations of fans of a particular team indulge in at this time of year, perhaps when they are forced to sit in a pub of a Saturday afternoon, because their team's game has been called off. That game is: pick your all-time greats.

Greatest manager/goal/captain/win/whatever; the discussion will make many a slow afternoon pass quickly, cause a few real arguments and test friendships to the limit.

The ultimate form of the game is - pick your greatest team, wherein one guys shoo-in will surely be on another guy's list of biggest diddies ever to shame the jersey.

I doubt if the fans have ever played: pick your greatest director, after all, it is the lot of the men who back their club with hard cash, who have to make some of the hardest decisions, to be universally despised by the paying punters, most of whom would give their eye teeth for the kudos, while running a mile from the responsibilities.

I suppose, in any debate about who was Scotland's greatest club director, wee Fergus McCann would be on most short leets. After all, that mighty Scottish institution Glasgow Celtic FC was minutes away from bankruptcy when the slight wee man from Croy, no doubt wearing his trade mark bunnet, stepped in to take charge.

Celtic has never been the same since, as the sleeping monolith, seemingly dedicated to providing a nice life style for "the families" was shaken-up, kicked into life and finally began to make real money.

Fergus was one director who kept his word - he said he would step-in, put Celtic's woes right, set the club in the right direction, then get-out, but only after allowing the fans to have their say.

He opened-up the shareholding and if a good proportion of the fans whom he converted into shareholders subsequently sold out, allowing another small cadre of money men to take control, well that wasn't Fergus's fault.

Fergus also drove a hard bargain in negotiations, as an accountant he knew the price of everything, but, unlike so many others in his profession, he also knew the value of things.

Sure, he sanctioned the purchase of some big-name players, notably the "Three Amigos" - Cadete, De Canio and Van Hoojdonk, but he knew enough about running a football club to insist on good management.

I don't for a moment think Fergus would have handed the reins to such an untried tyro as Neil Lennon, after all, Tommy Burns was already cutting his managerial teeth at Killie when handed control at Celtic Park. With hindsight, the job probably came too-soon for one of the all-time Celtic legends, but, it was never the gamble appointing the ginger one was.

I also don't think Fergus would have tholed the recent transfer activity which Lennon and Tony Mowbray indulged in. It seems to some of us that over the past couple of seasons, Celtic's buys have all-too-often been buying for buying's sake, rather than a studied approach to getting a winning team onto the park.

Fergus would certainly have approved of developing and opening Lennoxtown and of that relatively unpublicised Celtic initiative of getting some hand-picked youngsters into a Kirkintilloch school and into Lennoxtown on a daily basis.

But, I also feel, having made the financial commitment to Lennoxtown and youth development, he would have insisted that the top youngsters be thrown onto the park far more readily than Neil Lennon seems prepared to do.

I know all about the argument that neither half of the Old Firm can gamble on youth, that they have to win every match and that winning matches calls for experienced players. That said, I also believe: if they're good enough, they're old enough and when you look at the impact which just one unheard of Lennoxtown product, James Forrest, made when introduced at the start of the season, you wonder: surely there are others out there worth giving a chance.

David Marshall, Paul Caddis, Scott Cuthbert, Marc Miller, Rocco Quinn, Rod Wallace, Des Lafferty, Michael McGovern,Cillian Sheridan - just a few of the Celtic youngsters to have won Under-21 or full caps in the last five years, who have been allowed to leave. I accept that not all might have matured to be "Celtic Class", but I vouch, they would not have been the waste of money which too many recent foreign acquisitions have proved to be.

In short, if he was still in charge, I feel wee Fergus would be saying plenty to Neil Lennon about his acquisitions policy - and not all of it would be complimentary.

The Price of Freedom is Eternal Vigilance

ONE of the advantages of a classical Scots education is, those of us schooled north of the Solway, who sat O Grades and Highers, rather than O and A Levels are aware that England and Great Britain or the United Kingdom are separate entities.

This fact is often lost on our Sassenach neighbours, who seem to have immense difficulty figuring out where England ends and Great Britain begins. Even Shakespeare, arguably England's greatest man of letters thought England was "a sceptred isle", rather than one of three distinct parts of said island.

This England/Britain thing is currently to be seen in regard to the presence of "British" football teams at the forthcoming 2012 London Olympiad. We have all seen the political machinations regarding this team, which eventually brought the compromise, whereby the "British" football teams, men's and women's in action in 2012 will be English teams, playing under the GB banner.

The compromise which brought this team into being is designed to ensure the independence of the four United Kingdom football associations is recognised by FIFA, while allowing the British Olympic Association to field football teams.

Fair enough, the negotiations were long and at times fraught. but, in the end London got what it wanted - a "British" football team at their Olympics, while the independence of the Irish, Scottish and Welsh FA's was recognised.

But, were the English happy? Apparently not, for, while we up here have been navel-gazing and debating whether we should have a 10, 12, 14 or 16-club SPL, down south, the sports pages are buzzing with stories that factions within the FA, who are football's representatives within the BOA, not to mention non-football people within the BOA itself, are suggesting that individual Irish, Scottish and Welsh footballers should be approached to put themselves forward for selection in 2012 - to ensure a proper British football team.

Given that Allan McGregor and Craig Gordon of Scotland are arguably Britain's top two goalkeepers at present, while Welshman Gareth Bale has been the stand-out British player in the English Premiership this season and given further than Bale plays for a London club, Spurs, who are keen to move into the Olympic Stadium once the Games close - pressure will surely be exerted to ignore their 0wn FAs and make themselves available for the 2012 team.

Given further, the way club football apparently trumps international football in this country just now, it is not beyond he realms of possibility that one or more player from the three Celtic nations will break ranks and declare him or herself willing to pull on a Great Britain strip in 2012.

Such a move will be manna from heaven to the likes of the odious Jack Warner and his acolytes, that faction within FIFA determined to see the four British FAs cut-back to a single British FA. With Mr Warner no doubt thinking he is the perfect man to claim one of the three British places on IFAB, the supreme law-making body in football, which would become surplus if the four "Home Nations" were to become one Home Nation.

This cannot be allowed to happen. But, the trouble is, while the English would surely make all the right noises about, how sorry they were that, after the success of the Great Britain team at 2012, it was inevitable that there should only be one British team playing in the World Cup, the European Championships and so forth and this British team HAS to be English-dominated.

They would surely be outraged that FIFA had gone back on its solemn promise to respect the independence of the four Home Nations, but, after all, the FIFA guys who have decided that four should be one, thereby breaking their promise of continued independence for all four, are the same guys who promised "the future King of England" that England would host the 2018 World Cup.

Should, as a result of one or more individual Irish, Scottish or Welsh players caving-in to English "come and join us" blandishments, a "British" team be legitimised and the nightmare scenario of FIFA declaring that henceforth the (English) FA, IFA, SFA and FAW would be no more and a single GBFA would run the game in these islands, then the English would surely, since they cannot distinguish between England and Great Britain, think they'd be running things.

Then, it would be up to the three "Celtic" nations to stand together and put as many spanners in the English works as they possibly could. Stopping the English FA steamroller will be difficult, but, for the sake of Scottish and Irish and Welsh football, stopped it must be.

If You Know Their History

I AM from a generation who were actually taught Scottish History at school - not just Wallace, Bruce, Mary Queen of Scots and John Knox. Sadly much of it has now "gone" from memory, but, there is one constant throughout the history of: "Ra greatest wee peeple Goad ever pit braith intae" - feuding and fighting.

Forget Montagu and Capulet, Hatfields and McCoys, English and Germans; if you want to see real mutual animosity, simply stand in the middle of any resedential street in Scotland - we truly are a war-like people, and if we cannot finttish nobles d an excuse to have a go at the common enemy, those awfully nice people south of the Tweed and the Solway, well, we'll simply fight amongst ourselves.

The clan wars gave way to Ayrshire Junior Football; the Border Reivers used to steal each other's cattle, now they make do with enticing rugby players to the next town to play; the religious wars of the 16th century are still fought at least four times per year at Ibrox and Celtic Park.

Braveheart was, in truth, a lot of tosh, but, that bit towards the end when the Scottish nobles rode away, leaving Mel and ra boays to face certain defeat at the hands of the English sort of sums Scotland up. Nothing in it for me, I'm out.

And that's the still-alive position which will in all probability derail hopes of real change in Scottish football. Rangers and Celtic will, as ever, do what best suits their common purpose, to lord it over everyone else: the diddy SPL teams, whose only goal is to keep their snouts in the Old Firm money bowl, will scream and scream until they are sick, to stay at the top table; we'll atrophy further, until, probably when we've nowhere else to go - the English will step in and bail us out, at vast cost to us.

Football in Scotland is in a real mess, the McLeish proposals were not perfect, but they offered us a possible way out of that mess - I just don't think the guys running the game have the wit to do what needs to be done.

Forget history, forget self-interest, just do what's best.

What's In It For Me

WITH precious little football to actually report over the weekend, my esteemed colleagues on the Scottish newspapers' football desks were forced to keep the pot boiling, in the wake of the announcement of part two of the Henry McLeish review.

And, just as was widely predicted: the self-interest which Henry highlighted as a blight on the game up here, has kicked in with a vengeance. Fortunately perhaps, the SPL meeting, due for today, which would have had a first look at that league's own proposals for change, which in truth don't deviate that far from what came out of the McLeish Review, has been postponed.

Had it gone ahead, I fear there would have been blood in the Hampden corridors of power. There doubtless still will be, when these discussions do get under way in the New Year, but they (the clubs) now have a window of opportunity, in which to perhaps find compromise.

As I see it, in the early 21st century, more-so even than in the late 19th and entire 20th centuries, the other clubs are deeply in thrall to the Old Firm. We all know the big two generate more than half of the fans who watch Scottish Football in any season, so, the other SPL clubs budget for the season on the basis of at least six home OF games per season.

Say you are Michael Johnston, the Kilmarnock chairman and one of those officials thought to be against a return to a ten-club top flight: if it is a case of six games at an average of say 11,000 fans, plus 13 games at an average of 5,000 from the current 12-club league, against perhaps 18 games at an average of 5,000 if your club is in SPL2 - well, that's hardly an incentive for change.

If the SPL is to be expanded to 16, 18, 20 or 24 clubs - then it has to become a properly democratic league, with steps taken to make the playing field as level as possible. As I have said before, the only way this can be done is to go down the North American road of two equal conferences, leading to cross-conference play-downs to a Grand Final, a sort of Scottish Super Bowl.

And if that comes to pass, with the SPL, which I suppose will have to be renamed either the Scottish Senior League or the Scottish Major League - since amalgamation of the SPL and SFL is such a no-brainer it must happen then we have to find a sop to those "diddy" teams consigned to the regionalised lower slopes of a Scottish football pyramid.

Here again, we should go North American, with feeder teams, alighned to the top league clubs to bring through the fresh talent. Queen's Park could be Rangers' feeder team; Albion Rovers could do that job for Celtic, Cowdenbeath and East Fife would do the same job for Dunfermline and Raith, the Angus clubs for the two Dundee teams and Aberdeen and so forth.

And before you shout about tradition and history, be realistic - for most of my 60-plus years on this planet, these diddy teams have been taking-out rather more than they have putting-in to Scottish football. For years their reason d' etre has been to survive as "senior" clubs.

We have far too many "senior" clubs. Of the 42 clubs with such status, approximately half are part-time ones. Why should we continue to subsidise part-time operations to the detriment of full-time ones - because of history and tradition?

Henry McLeish has produced an honest document. Scottish football, if it is to survive, has to be honest in its approach to implementing his findings. If, as it looks as if they will - they fudge round the edges and don't side line narrow self-interest for the greater good - we're doomed, doomed ah tell ye.

Time To Put-Up Or Shut-Up

SO, the McLeish has spoken; now comes the hard part - the talking is over, it's time to act: but will the blazers play their part.

I spent yesterday reading and re-reading the full 106 pages of part two of the McLeish Review and it is a fine body of work. Henry telt it like it is and I found very little to disagree with.

But, the guys he was mainly getting at, those SFA councillors from the wee teams in the lower divisions of the senior, will surely have to be dragged kicking and screaming like the former Rumanian dictator and his wife, in front of the firing squad. They will fight tooth and nail for their own very narrow but deeply vested interests. Having held Scottish football back for years, they will not go quietly - but go they must.

I applaud the obvious, yes, two different bodies over-seeing league football in Scotland is one too many. I welcome the long time coming realisation that there are two games in Scotland, the professional and the community. I just worry that perhaps the professional game will be given too-much of a say in the future: they haven't exactly covered themselves in glory in the past, and there are still at least two teams who think they are more important than the national side.

There, I've mentioned "the war", "the elephant in the room" - aka 'The Old Firm', because the grim truth is, whatever changes are made, these two clubs will still be main players.

The real problems will be in the changes to the professional game: what type of senior league structure will we end up with?

Let me lay my cards on the table - any club which isn't fully full-time cannot be a professional club - so, immediately we've taken the great mass of the SFL clubs out of the equation. These wee clubs also fail the professional test inasmuch as they do not meet the current SPL criteria in terms of stadia (6000 all-seater), pitch protection and so forth. They have to go down to the community game.

By their going they would also solve another anomaly which McLeish, sadly, didn't address - the fact we've got too-many senior clubs.

England's (and Wales's) 50 million population is served by 92 senior clubs - Scotland's 5 million population is served by 42 - that is clearly too many. There are suggestions from down south that Leagues One and Two ought to be regionalised, why not up here too?

McLeish seems to be advocating just 20 senior professional clubs, playing in a national league competition. I could live with this. However, McLeish falls into the old trap of advocating two separate ten-club divisions.

This is where I feel his review radical though his propsed changes are - fails through fear of being too-radical.

With SPL 1 and SPL 2, you create a two tier system. If you're in SPL 1, you have access to the money you make from being in the same division as the Old Firm - the benefits (and let's face it, occasional draw-backs) of their massive travelling support; the fact these two clubs are the real draw for the TV companies. If you're in SPL 2, you don't have as much access to the big money, immediately you're handicapped.

I'd far rather McLeish had advocated a North American-style system of one league, but two conferences of equal standing, leading to late season play-offs.

Ok, it's radical, it's never been done in this country, but, it has worked for decades in the NBA, NFL, NHL and MLB. If it works for the Chicago Bulls, Dallas Cowboys, Toronto Maple Leafs and New York Yankees, why cannot it work for Celtic, Rangers, Kilmarnock and St Johnstone?

In North American sport, you have minor league clubs which are feeders into the major leagues. You just might, if you are a regular fan of Hicksville Hounds in the mid-Western League, get an early glimpse of the next Michael Jordan or Wayne Gretsky. Who says this wouldn't or couldn't work in Scotland?

The true meaning of a league is a collection of individual organisations working for a common goal. That goal cannot be common if 10 of the 20 clubs in any league can be classed as "haves" and the others as "have nots" - your North American conference system levels-out this uneven playing field.

Celtic and Rangers will still have the biggest grounds, the largest followings; they will still generate most of the media interest, but, the current imbalance will be somewhat checked, not, as now, in favour of another ten clubs, but, via a North American system, another 18 clubs.

I welcome McLeish's findings - I just feel, he didn't go far enough.

It's Life Jock - But Not As We Know It

HERE in the Philosophy Department of SHITE (Scottish Higher Institute of Team Evolution) we spend a lot of time pondering the important issues of the day.

Amongst these is that hardy annual: What is the meaning of life? We still don't know, but we are agreed Douglas Adams got it wrong in Hitch-Hikers Guide To The Galaxy, when he reckoned it was 42. Celtic have had no life since they won their 42nd league title, have they?

We also ruminate on the existence of Heaven and Hell, with varied results, dependant on how our team got on in their last game. That brought us onto what would a Scottish Football Heaven and Scottish Football Hell be like?

In SFHeaven, we would be perennial World Champions; the Champions League final would be an all-Scottish one every year, while two more of our sides would annually contest the Europa League final. The Old Firm would be just another two clubs. We would beat England 10-0 every year in the annual international and every Scottish club team would be a home-grown one, choc-a-bloc with gifted mavericks who were comfortable on the ball, could land 60-yard crossfield passes on a sixpence and provide 90 minutes of exciting, entertaining football every match.

SFHell would be - well pretty much as is, except we would be required to sit through an evening TV loop of the Uruguay game in 1954, the 1955, 1961 and 1975 Wembleys, the Iran game, the last Norway game, the Leichtenstein game with, at 9pm peak viewing time -the 1966 World Cup Final, with a new commentary dubbed-in by Clive Tyldesly.

Scottish Football is currently at a low point, on that we are all agreed. However, salvation is at hand, with Henry McLeish due to deliver part two of his Review Body's findings at Hampden tomorrow - after which, let battle commence.

If Henry thought he had it bad playing in midfield for East Fife, or on the parliamentary benches of Westminster or Holyrood - he aint seen nothing yet. There have been precious few leaks as to what he will deliver, but, since we do hear he will quite properly contend that Scottish football has too many blazers and not enough players - just watch the smelly stuff hit the fan as the blazerati defend their wee fiefdoms and self-interest.

I hope Henry is radical in his judgements and suggestions - doing nothing, or indeed, doing very little, is not an option.

His findings will make interesting reading.

All Animals Are Equal - But

YES, we've all read or heard the above quote, one which definitely has some relevance to Scottish football. And I reckon it's those Scottish football animals who reckon they're more equal than others, who will finally decide what form of change we get in the governance of the game up here.

I also believe the SPL's carefully "leaked" blueprint for change is a first shot across the bows of the SFL, in what will be a battle for control of the game over the next year or two.

It is significant that the "Dirty Dozen", as they will doubtless be dubbed, by some sub-editor with a soft spot for an SFL side, have pre-empted the release of Henry McLeish's second part of his review into Scottish Football - maybe they've heard that they're not going to come out of it too well.

The fact is, the SFA is not a very democratic body - just have a look at the composition of the SFA Council, the "parliament" of the game up here, if you like. It's top-heavy with people from the senior game, either the SPL or the SFL and in case the SPL hasn't noticed, through the offices of such distinguished bodies as the Fife FA, the Angus FA, the Stirlingshire FA and so forth - the SFL can field a lot more bodies in the council chamber than can the SPL.

If the SFL is to be no more, then the time-servers and sundry "blazers" will need to be bought-off, just as the SPL is still under-pinning the SFL through the parachute clauses and what-not, levered from them to allow them to break free 12 years ago.

But the lack of democracy in the SFA goes far deeper than turf wars between the 12 SPL clubs and the 30 SFL ones. In that SFA Council, the 42 so-called top clubs call the shots. They've got greater numbers on the council than the 170-plus SJFA clubs, who are represented by SJFA secretary Tom Johnston. The 1000 and more grass roots amateur sides, the "pub" teams who really are the heart-beat of the game in Scotland have less Council representation than the SFL Division Two clubs, who between them attract less fans on any given Saturday than there are amateur players.

Scottish football's neglect of its grass-roots, the way the players of the future are pretty-well ignored within the corridors of power at Hampden is mirrored in the council chamber, where the SYFA has little or no clout, while taking the Scottish Schools FA's representative sides out of the hands of the teachers and into the full SFA age group development scheme, hasn't exactly brought new success.

It would perhaps have been better had Neil Doncaster and his cohorts kept their plans under lock and key, and let McLeish have first dibs at trying to right the wrongs in Scottish football.

Mind you, under any organisation which allows George Peat to become Mr Big, you'd perhaps be better-employed trying to right the Titanic.

We need change, but we need the right change and from what I've seen of the SPL proposals, this isn't it.

Still Game

FOOTBALL is supposedly a young man's game and these days, with the supposed rise of the athlete, when pace is everything, this ought to be more than ever the case.

Instead, what do we find: Davie Weir, in his fifth decade, strolling through domestic games at the heart of the Rangers' defence and largely untroubled in Europe, while further up the park, Kenny Miller, supposedly now on the downward slope since he is in his thirties, showing the young guns how to score.

The Auld Yins are even more on top in the managerial stakes. Just a few days shy of his 70th birthday, Sir Alex still sets the standard in England, while up here, Fergie's former Scotland Schools team captain Craig Brown has just been parachuted-in, along with the equally-venerable Archie Knox, to sort-out the troubles at Aberdeen.

With a distinct lack of respect which ought to be condemned, the current band of youthful Scottish soccer scribes dubbed Craig and Archie "Jack and Victor", after the heroic old scoundrels from the 'Still Game' TV show - and quite clearly, Brown and Knox are still game when it comes to managing.

They are also showing that there is no substitute for experience in management. Who knows, this little twist might yet see Walter Smith seeking out Sir David Murray or, if the proposed sale goes through Craig Whyte, to say: "I've changed my mind about quitting - compared to Broon and Knox, I'm just a boy".

This of course would be bad news for heir-presumptive Ally McCoist, however, I would suggest that for all his image as an enfant terrible, McCoist has been around for a long time and is certainly due his shot at the big job at Ibrox.

He might have benefitted from two or three years away, learning his trade in Fife - spells which clearly helped Scot Symon and Jock Stein when they were put in charge of half of the Old Firm. However, with such able lieutenants as the much under-rated Kenny McDowall and Ian Durrant behind him, Coisty should do well when he finally ascends to the Ibrox throne.

Speaking of hiring experience - should Celtic decide putting that accident waiting to happen, Neil Lennon, in charge wasn't such a good move - what chance Mo Johnston, having learned the job in the comparative back-water of North America's MSL, getting a re-call to what will surely be: "The only team I ever wanted to manage".

No, didn't really think so, just flung it in for a bit of mischief-making.

Here We Go Again

AFTER the referee's strike and the deep freeze, there are signs that, just maybe, we can get back to football on Saturday. Let's hope so, since the level of gossip, chat and discussion during the hiatus has been low.

One of our leading newspapers has this week been running a sports feature: speculating on which players Celtic might sign during the January transfer "window".

I find myself shaking my head in disbelief at the state this major Scottish institution has got itself into. Such is now Celtic's NEED to win, to be Number One in Scotland, that that desperation is in danger of de-stabilising the club.

When Jimmy McGrory was appointed Celtic manager just after World War II, he was arguably "the Greatest Living Celt"; he was a good call as manager, having began well at Kilmarnock. But, during his tenure as manager, Celtic hardly won a thing - in spite of the team being graced by such talents as Bobby Evans, Bobby Collins, Charlie Tully, Willie Fernie, Willie Miller and Bertie Peacock, while the likes of Mike Haughney, Neilly Mochan and John McPhail were capped by Scotland.

But, during this spell THE power at Parkhead rested with Chairman Bob Kelly - who ruled even more absolutely than Mr Desmond, far less his mouthpiece Lord Reid does today.

Celtic won virtually nothing, apart from a watch when they brought a relatively unsung centre half named John Stein home from Wales. As player and captain, he steadied a listing ship, as coach, he got the best out of "The Kelly Kids", young reserves such as Billy McNeill, Paddy Crerand, Bobby Murdoch, Tommy Gemmell, Bobby Lennox, John Clark and so on.

Stein went off to learn management at Dunermline and Hibs, before returning in March 1965: to bring the "Kelly Kids" to maturity - the rest is history.

Fast forward 45 years, Celtic has a stack of promising young players in their Under-19, Under-17 and Under-16 teams, they've got some good young players on the fringes of their first team - but, they have a management team which clearly either doesn't rate these kids, or is scared to trust them, because they don't think Celtic could be a winning team with these kids in the side - and they don't think the self-styled "Greatest Fans in the World" would stand for seeing a Celtic team of kids losing.

Well, the expensive foreign mercenaries aren't exactly setting the heather on fire, either in Scotland or in Europe - what, other than a fear of failure, is stopping the club from blooding the kids and getting some sort of pay-back from their investment in youth, which is considerable?

It is noticeable that "cash-strapped" Rangers, still richer than most English Premiership sides, but finally, after Sir David Murray's years of excess, being run with a modicum of sense; have this season managed to blood a handful of young players, without much harm befalling them.

Rangers in recent years have partly through financial necessity rediscovered the methods which made them pre-eminent under Bill Struth: they still bring the odd player through the ranks - in recent seasons McGregor, Adam, Bourke, Smith, augmented by Scots recruited at the right price from elsewhere in Scotland - Broadfoot, Naysmith, Boyd, Whittaker, Thomson, or from England: McCulloch, Weir, Alexander and Miller. Add a touch of Ulster passion - Davis and Lafferty and you've got a team, built along traditional Rangers lines.

OK, some have moved-on, there is a garnish of foreign exotica, but, with the promise of Fleck, Wylde, Hutton and now Cole and McMillan, not to mention as yet unblooded Under-21 caps such as Perry and Gallagher, it might be argued that Rangers have taken the Stein formula and successfully adapted it to their needs and financial situation - while Celtic are floundering through their multi-national obsession, not to mention some rank bad buys.

In the absence of a Stein for the 21st century (Willie McStay maybe), I see trouble ahead for Celtic to a greater degree than for Rangers.

Whingeing Poms no more

WHINGEING Poms have now been over-taken by whingeing Ockers, for which the entire Scots nation ought to thank a South African, who even by Saffer standards, which in the arrogance department are very high, is arrogant.

Step forward Kevin Pietersen, Scottish hero. Because, after your double century, not to mention that dismissal of Michael Clarke, you'll never have to buy another drink in Scotland.

Your Adelaide deeds will knock England's World Cup humiliation off the papers as easily as you knocked the Aussie bowlers all round Adelaide Oval - for which: Gaunyersel Big Man.

And after their own knock-back in Zurich last week, it's the Ockers rather than the Poms who are crying into their tinnies.

BTW, did you see the crowd shots from Adelaide? Acres of empty seats, like Ibrox in the pre-Souness years, when the joke was that there was a design fault at the new-look Ibrox: the seats faced the pitch.

Final word on the World Cup bidding. In the Mail on Sunday this week, Paddy Collins broke ranks, by revealing that he was one of a group of journalists, told by FA insiders months ago, that Russia and not England would win the 2018 bidding. They were all sworn to secrecy and kept quiet.

They ought to be sacked - after all, in every newsroom across the country there hangs that quote from William Randolph Hurst: News is information someone wants suppressed - everything else is advertising.

Had they remembered that, published and been damned, it might have saved at least half a Finnish forest in the last week.

Absolute final word: great piece by Boris Johnston in Monday's Daily Telegraph; I haven't laughed so much at English discomfort and pain since the ball played Maradona's hand and went past Shilton in 1986.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

I WORKED briefly for Harry Reid, around 30-years ago; terrific boss, very very supportive of his journalists. So I was delighted to read his piece on Aberdeen's current managerial problems in last Saturday's Herald.

Harry suggested what the Dons required wasn't so much a new Fergie, but a new Ally MacLeod, given the way Ally's brief tenure at Pittodrie lifted the spirits of a club, city and region, before the professionals: Billy McNeill and Fergie, took the club on.

Ally has long been vilified and indeed ridiculed, on the back of the huge disappointment of 1978. But, there is no doubt in my mind, he was one of the greatest managers when it came to making players and fans believe.

A couple of generations hence, when a more-sober analysis of MacLeod the football man is made, I warrant he'll come out of it well.

I remember one late Saturday night "press conference", hosted by Ally at Somerset Park. Ayr had won well, the largesse was large and we were still in that pokey wee office under the Somerset stairs as the clock slipped past eight.

Ally was reminiscing about his spell at Pittodrie and about how he dealt with some of Scottish football's great hell-raisers: Joey Harper and Davie Robb, to name but two. Aberdeen had a crucial New Year Game, which they HAD to win, but Ally knew there was every chance his squad would be out caroussing at the bells.

So, he scheduled a training session for 11.30pm on Hogmanay, at Pittodrie, worked the players into the New Year, got them changed, gave them each a hauf and sent them home - later that day, they won the crucial game.

Ally wisnae that daft.

We're First We're Last We're Everything

THE above re-writing of Barry White's masterwork perhaps, better than anything, sums-up the English and helps explain why schadenfreude is wide-spread throughout Scotland and the world these days.

Poor old Kevin Pietersen; a genuine class act who scores a tremendous double century, has Aussie's spread-eagled at his feet, and nobody back home notices, because they are still aghast at the way FIFA humiliated Becks and Prince William.

Get over it lads, shit happens, even to the Master Race, and after recent results in major competitions, it's not as if our dear neighbours are unused to abject failure.

But, before the FA blazers heed the advice of their obnoxious media and set-about cleaning up world football, they've got to clean up their own game. English football is hardly a paragon of probity and good governance (any more than the SFA is up here).

As I have pointed-out before, football alone of the major sports doesn't allow the top players to have an after-life as administrators; at least in this country. Michel Platini runs UEFA, former top players are in top administrative jobs in most of the major European and South American countries, but not here.

I cannot think of a single famous internationalist who has held a leading post in the (English) FA since the war. OK, Bobby Charlton and now David Beckham are wheeled-out in ambassadorial roles, while Trevor Brooking is nominally in charge of English youth development - and that's a joke given the omnipresence of the let's buy foreign Premier League.

Up here, Tommy Younger was the last big-name internationalist to head the SFA, but the great Hibs goalkeeper and former Scotland captain died in office in office 26 years ago, since when we've seen some right numpties represent Scottish football globally.

British football is, like much of Britain, still class-ridden. The players are kept in their place as the performing dogs, in fact, since most of them wear their IQ on their backs, that's perhaps for the best. The important decisions as to how football is run on this island is left to club directors - whose knowledge of the game was so-memorably summed-up in Len Shackelton's autobiography, more than half a century ago.

For those too-young to remember the great Sunderland icon, he entitled one chapter of his book: "What the average club director knows about football", then left the rest of the page blank.

The odd former player with ideas and a burning desire to try to sort-out the game's faults is side-lined, even when, as with the great Jimmy Hill, he does appear to be getting into a position from which he can influence things for the better.

The English FA has over the years sold-out their friends, put England's interests first and made little effort to address the English air of superiority which puts-off so many people.

Perhaps a little introspection, a sorting-out of themselves and acquiring a taste for humble pie is necessary before the FA leads the crusade to clean-up football.

I still believe an English-led movement with, (as in the British Empire) the Scots in-charge of day-to-day implementation of the major decisions, is the way forward in the necessary clean-up of football.

I simply don't think the present lot within Wembley's and to a lesser degree Hampden's corridors of power have the wit, intelligence and drive to lead it.

And in any case - the Crusades were a failure.

An forward tho ah canna see - ah guess and fear

ENGLAND'S total humiliation at the hands of the FIFA Executive Committee over the 2018 World Cup bidding might yet have serious repercussions - for BRITISH football.

It is openly acknowledged that our next-door neighbours had the best technical bid, they fielded the most-star-studded bid team: Prince William, David Cameron and Boris Johnston (three of the four most-famous Old Etonians alive), plus the best-known footballer on the planet and the universally-admired Lord Sebastian Coe - they still didn't win.

If the presence of the future "King of England" cannot tip the balance in England's favour, what can?

But what worries me, and this is potentially damaging to Scotland, is - if FIFA Executive Committee members such as the odious Jack Warner can look the likes of Prince William in the eye, promise to back England, then back other, less-worthy bids, then can we believe ANYTHING they say?

Remember how, during the row about a British football team at the 2012 London Olympics, we were told that Sepp Blatter and others on the FIFA Executive - even Jack Warner, the prime mover in demands for a single British team - had given a solemn promise that an all-English Olympic team in 2012 would not affect the international independence of England, Northern Ireland, Scotland and Wales.

After Thursday's events in Zurich - can we still believe those guarantees?

The FIFA Executive are proven liars. If they stay true to the form they have shown over 2018, we might as well get ready for a Great Britain team being forced upon us for 2014 or 2018.

England lost on Thursday. Let's hope the four Home Nations don't become even bigger losers to the crooks and charlatans who now control world football.

She's No Lady

TODAY'S Nae Luck prize goes to Mrs Victoria Beckham, of Los Angeles. After England's failure to clinch hosting duties for World Cup 2018, Football's not coming home; her husband's recommendation for a knighthood was ripped up; so, she aint going to be Lady Victoria for a wee while yet, if ever, I suspect.

As a lifetime adherent to ABE (Anyone But England), I'm quite happy, except, given our own problems in the game, having the finals in England is perhaps as close as we can get to these finals. Prior to the 1966 finals, Scotland played friendlies against Portugal and Brazil, we could, even if we hadn't qualified, have looked forward to a similar scenario. Also, it would have been no big deal to have travelled to Newcastle or Manchester for games, even without Scotland taking part.

Now, we await the backlash. The likes of the Daily Mail and the Murdoch papers will be lining up to put the boot into the BBC; blaming Panorama's ill-timed programme on alleged corruption for the failure of the bid. The festering sores between the EPL, the Football League and the FA will now re-open, the World Cup bid having plastered over these ancient wounds. They'll be at each other's throats within days.

There will be disbelief in Engurland - how could ungrateful Johnny Foreigner have turned down the future King of England? Have these chaps no concept of heritage and football history? I mean, we're reasonable chaps, surely they love us?

Aye right. The English bid relied heavily on Jack Warner's supposed love of England and support for their bid. The FA have brown-nosed relentlessly to get onside a man about whom there are long-standing and apparently well-founded concerns as to his probity.

John McBeth, perhaps naively had his doubts about Warner and some others on the FIFA Executive; he made the mistake of expressing his concerns to a handful of Sunday paper journalists and, as a result, he was not allowed to become the British vice-president of FIFA: to be replaced, with indecent haste, by the FA's man - whose preferred candidature was heavily-backed by Mr Warner.

By their friends shall ye know them.

Such a pity Princde William was dragged into the whole charade. A greater pity he identified himself as "an Englishman".

With respect sir, you and your relations may have been born in England, of largely English-born ancestors. But, you are NOT English, you are British and as the eldest son of the Prince of Wales and Duke of Rothesay you are British.

Let's look on the bright side - with each passing year, the London-biased BBC has less and less reason to show these old black and white pictures from 1966. This defeat might see them cut back to showing them a mere once per week.

A Game For Gentlemen Played by Hooligans

OK, we've all seen that old definition of association football - trouble is, these days, nobody is making an effort to force the hooligans to play like gentlemen. Here we are, freezing under a white blanket, with little prospect of games on Saturday, so, naturally, there is no real football to divert our attention from the refereeing saga, which rumbles on unchecked.

I was reflecting on the Scottish game's current travails with a former school friend - a one-time Scotland Under-15 internationalist, who failed to get beyond the junior ranks and turned to refereeing. He never made it to the heights of Grade One, but was a senior linesman for many years, before dropping down the ranks until in his mid-fifties, he was mainly officiating in Boys Club and Sunday Pub League games.

"I expected and got verbal abuse in the Pub League, but, you learn to live with that", he said.

"You can deal with that, what finally drove me to hang-up my whistle was the verbal abuse and dumb insolence I was getting from the players in Boys Club games. Again, you expect abuse from the coaches and players at that level, you let it wash off you, but when you get sworn at by a 12-year-old, who refuses to take a warning from you - well for me, that was it", he continued.

"The coaches and parents don't see anything wrong in a kid that age being cheeky to a referee - but, that's today's society, we've lost all respect for authority".

And that is football's main problem - nobody is prepared to draw the line and say: "thus far and no further".

On a broader front, it may be society's problem, but, even though rugby is now professional and the top players re on very big money, even the most-ridiculous of refereeing decisions is accepted without question by players and coaches.

Why should this be? Certainly most rugby players are middle class, most footballers working class. But it is surely not simply a class thing, after all there are some really nasty middle class yobs on the go in our major cities of a weekend, not to metion on the pay-roll of our banks.

I feel, it is because the men running rugby have paid due diligence to the ethos of the game. I've played club rugby, in the front five: the front two rows of the scrum, where no quarter is asked, none given and where, in my day, punches flew more-readily than today. But, always, once the referee had blown the final whistle and we were showered and in the bar, jugs of beer were exchanged between the teams, who inter-acted, sometimes outrageously and had a good time.

Football has never had this post-match camaraderie between players, which is its loss. Also, in the corridors of power in rugby, most of the unpaid officials - the clubs representatives who have the real power, not the paid administrators who do their bidding - are former players, which makes a difference.

Ian McLauchlan, the president of the SRU, is a former national captain, twice a British Lion. In his playing days arguably the best player in the world in his specialist position; the man who scored the crucial try in one of the great victories in world rugby, by the 1971 Lions in New Zealand.

George Peat, the president of the SFA, is best-known for running Airdrieonians out of the game, then popping-up at Stenhousemuir, to safeguard his own position in the SFA hierarchy. See the difference.

Of course all these caps and honours don't protect rugby from some huge mistakes - the mess which is the current scrummage and breakdown laws are testimony to this - but, the rugby guys genuinely care about the welfare of their game and its players. The "blazers" at the top level in football give the impression of being in it for what they can get out of the game.

If something isn't working in rugby, the IRB will have a look at it and tinker. They don't always get it right, but, they try. In football, there does not seem to be a desire to improve the game, either by bringing in new ideas or enforcing better conduct.

Until there is, the game will suffer more and more damage to its image and may even stagnate.

Is there nobody in Scottish football, far less FIFA, willing to start sorting-out a game which is in deep trouble?