'THE CELTIC SONG' includes the line: “If you know their history,” but, when it comes to the history of that club – or their greatest rivals across the city – that history is often re-written and distorted according to which camp the writer of that history is coming from.
With the blue half of the Scottish Football Establishment celebrating 150 years of their club this year, history has been much-mentioned. My friend David Mason, the official Rangers Club Historian has written an excellent book covering these 150 years. Meanwhile, another friend, big Alex Gordon is spending his golden years, since escaping the sports-writing coal face, in his cottage industry of writing books about his beloved Celtic. It's a fertile market folks.
With the League Cup Final coming up this weekend, it's a hard week for weans on the mainstream Scottish media's sports desks, since they have to conjour-up even more Old Firm shite than normal – the Heid Bummers on the various titles having decreed on tablets of stone: “In Scotland, Sport means the Old Firm.”
Needless to say, the clubs are willing co-conspirators in this blatant news management, with the blue team quickly off the mark, with the announcement that three current players: Steven Davis, Allan McGregor and skipper James Tavernier have been inducted into the club's Hall of Fame.
Here we take an explanatory diversion:
Halls of Fame are a North American invention. Since our colonial cousins in the Americas don't have much of a glorious history of their own – they have to make it up as they go along, and this is particularly true of the great North American sports – the ones they play religiously, but the rest of the world, ranks someway behind “real” football – with a round ball, and the likes of the Olympic Games.
American Football, Baseball, Basketball and Ice Hockey are the Big Four sports across the pond, and each has its own Hall of Fame – at both collegiate and professional level. These are honoured institutions, entrants to which must meet strict eligibility criteria.
For instance, in the professional Halls – nobody can be eligible for induction until they have been retired for a period, usually five years. This gives the induction committees time to properly assess the candidate's fitness for induction.
Michael Jordan – widely considered to be Basketball's G.O.A.T (Greatest Of All Time) had to wait the requisite five years, before he got in. Tom Brady, who is being touted as American Football's G.O.A.T. has only just retired, so he must wait until 2028 before he can take his place in the Pro Football Hall of Fame in Canton, Ohio.
We here in Scotland were a lot slower in setting-up sporting Halls of Fame. To be honest, we haven't really, to my mind, done it correctly since. There are guys in the Scottish Football Hall of Fame who, to my mind only got in because they had club supporters from the “Fans With Typewriters” press benches pushing their case – while many of the true giants of the game, from the time when Scotland virtually ruled the football world, are still waiting to get in.
For instance, Robert Gardner, the very first Scottish internationalist and the man who, as Queen's Park secretary, along with the English Football Association's Charles Alcock, arranged the first football international, Scotland v England, at Hamilton Crescent, on 30 November, 1872.
Without Gardner, that game would not have taken place, and we would not have football as we know it today – yet, Gardner is not yet inducted into the Hall of Fame. Similarly, seven of the Scotland team against which every one since – the 1928 Wembley Wizards, including Alex Jackson, who scored a hat-trick in the 5-1 win over England, are still waiting to be inducted – while every member of the European Cup-winning Lisbon Lions is already inside the Hall. It pays to have fans on the induction committee right enough.
Who gets inducted into any Hall of Fame still comes down to bias on behalf of whoever is doing the selecting – be it a committee, or a wider fans' vote. It's an inexact science and we can only hope that, over time common sense prevails.
I would suggest, the three current players would probably, under North American standards of induction eligibility eventually get in, but, to induct them while they are still playing – not for me thank you.
A GOOD GENERAL is is said: “picks his battles,” and in trading insults with Chris Sutton, Rangers Manager Michael Beale has I think chosen one he cannot win. Leave the mouthy Englishman to Ally McCoist, who can be guaranteed to put Sutton in his place without having to get out of second gear. That's my two pence worth for the Ibrox boss.
Speaking of the latest heir to Bill Struth; I have to commend his action in allowing Partick Thistle that free equaliser in the recent cup tie. However, I wonder, what will happen should a similar incident arise this weekend?
Beale might instruct his players to let Celtic have a free shot at goal, however, I reckon between them kicking-off and the potential scorer reaching the Rangers' penalty area, I reckon there will be about one thousand Bears on the park, blocking the way to goal. Some matches are no quarter given affairs.
FINALLY – Decades of dealings with the Scottish Junior Football Association, and knowing how, for yonks, it has been run by a Lanarkshire Mafia who couldnae run a bath, I always felt – if they could prevent a Cumnock v Glenafton final – the one match-up guaranteed to get fans in for the final, they would.
Sure enough, when the semi-final draw was made, the two East Ayrshire giants were drawn together. Now, I don't subscribe to the outrageous claims, that this tie would generate a five-figure crowd at either Rugby Park or Somerset Park, these days are past. But, I firmly believe, the semi-final could have attracted an all-ticket full house to Beechwood Park.
But, it won't, because the Heid Bummers at the SJFA have decided the game should go on a Friday night. This more or less guarantees, fewer spectators than would have been attracted to a match kicking off on a Saturday afternoon.
Par for the course in running Scottish Fitba – where the lunatics have been running the asylum for generations.
