Rangers Win Title - Surprise, Surprise

IF WE ever doubted that, in Scottish football, there is one rule for the Old Firm and a different rule for everyone else - the attitude of the punters to Rangers' winning of the SFL Third Division really demonstrates it.

Muted, single-handed applause; shrugged shoulders and: "So what", would seem to be the public's perception. Undeniably, Rangers, the full-time team in a part-time league HAD to win SFL3, it was always a case of when rather than if they tok the trophy and the fact they failed to stroll through the competition, winning every game at least 3-0 is being held against them.

I have no doubt that Ally McCoist, Kenny McDowall and Ian Durrant would have loved to have produced the wished-for scenario. I furthermore have no doubt that they, indeed everyone in the Ibrox management team has been disappointed by the level of performance this season, which has been uneven in the extreme - however, expectations have been realised and the desired promotion has been achieved well before season's end.

Yet, still the criticism is levelled, because, the performance hasn't been 'Rangers Class'.

Let's suppose another SPL team - maybe Motherwell, or Hearts or Kilmarnock had been guilty of Craig Whyte's blatant disregard for football's rules of governance  and that other side had been cast out into SFL3, immediately losing a first team of international players, either full or age-group, then had to face a season with a team of youngsters and second-rate players. Yet, had that team battled through to win the division as well as Rangers have just done - they'd have been praised to the heavens for their resilience and fighting qualities. They would not have attracted the criticism which has come Rangers' way.

That said, Ally McCoist still has some way to go to join the managerial pantheon at Ibrox; the club's recruitment policy has been iffy and, to me, reeks a wee bit of the failed and discredited Murray management model. All is still far from well at Ibrox and NOT putting Rangers straight into the middle 12 of the proposed 12-12-18 governance model, will, in the long run, be better for the club.

That said: 12-12-18 is NOT the way ahead for Scottish football.

But, I digress, the public perception of Rangers' 55th league title clearly demonstrates - there is one rule for Rangers and Celtic, another for the other 40 senior clubs in Scotland.

I WAS interested in Neil Lennon's remarks this week about players' lack of passion and commitment to Scotland. Rather than saying: 'Butt out Paddy, it's none of your business", we should take cognisance of the Ginger Whinger's observations.

I am with Neil on this one. I accept we don't have players of the quality of Dalglish, Law, Mackay, Johnstone, Baxter, Bremner and so-on today, but, feel we should still be doing better than we have been of late.

Maybe players who earn a good living, for very little work, at club level, cannot accept the higher level of criticism and expectation they get with the national team. Let's be honest, the only Scottish players who are EXPECTED to win every game, and who know they will be heavily-criticised/slaughtered if they fail, are those playing for either half of the Old Firm.

Third Division football isn't going to get any Rangers players into the present Scotland squad, while Celtic, for all the consistent success of their age group sides, don't have a great record in getting Scots into the first team. So, with no Rangers men qualifying and Scott Brown and James Forrest injured Charlie Mulgrew was the only member of WGS's squad for Wales and Serbia with recent exposure to the Old Firm fans'/Tartan Army mentality/mind-set of " Not winning is not acceptable".

So yes, Neil Lennon hit the nail on the head - we have too-many players too-ready to settle for second-best - but, at least, if they are, they (the players) are a wee-bit more-ambitious than the Hampden 'blazers' who will settle for any old rubbish - provided they still get their junkets paid for.

The Blazers - Today's Version Of 13th Century Aristocratic Villains

I AM currently indulging myself with some light bed-time reading: David Torrance's biography of Alex Salmond: 'Salmond - Against The Odds'. The book is a good read, thoroughly researched and with an extensive bibliography of written and broadcast sources.

There is, on page 154, a wee direct quote from the First Minister himself, which I think has great relevance to thee current travails of Scottish football.Speaking about the film 'Braveheart' and its (many) inaccuracies, its distorted view of Scottish history, Salmond said: "The real villains of the piece were the Scottish nobility"; adding: "I'm sure we've all got candidates as to  who the modern counterparts might be".

Wee Eck is a shrewd cookie, so, if we extrapolate his comments re one of the truly great Scottish patriots forward to today's "90-minute patriots" - to use a timeless phrase dreamt-up by Salmond's one-time colleague turned enemy, Jim Sillars - and in particular those 90-minute patriots who wear SFA blazers, we start to get near the bottom of the current mess in Scottish football.

There are far-too-many "blazers" stalking Hampden's corridors of power who are in it for themselves and not for Scotland. These same men don't have any long-term strategy, Hell, they don't even have a short-term strategy, for getting Scotland out of its present mess and back to where we once  were, far less where we think we once were.

Until we get shot of these men, we will continue to slide, slowly, towards the foot of the pile.

Sure, we can stand on the sidelines and criticise Alan Hutton, Gary Caldwell, Charlie Adam and Kenny Miller; just as we criticised Kris Boyd, Kris Iwelumo, Scott Brown, Barry Ferguson, Berti Vogts, George Burley and Craig Levein.

When results do not pick-up and we fail to qualify for Euro 2016, we will criticise Gordon Strachan and Mark McGhee. Of course, we will also abuse Stewart Regan, Neil Doncaster, Mark Wotte, Pugh, Pugh, Barney McGrew, Cuthbert, Dibble (not you Campbell, the Trumpton one), and Grubb and every Englishman from Boris Johnson to Uncle Tom Cobly.

Few will criticse the real villains - the modern day equivalent of the Scottish Norman knights who turned their backs on William Wallace - the club directors who refuse to rock the sinking Hampden hulk, who nod through spurious motions at meetings of the SFA, SPL and SFL, who put their own short-term interests above the nation's and who resolutely refuse to buy into the root and branch reforms which Scottish football needs.

And, while I am at it, the newspaper senior managers who will not have a go at these do nothing villains of the piece.

It is time the Scottish football public stood up and told them: YE CAN TAK THE PISS, BUT, YE CANNY TAK OOR FITBA.

IT IS of course sad to see the Dunfermline players being sacked out of hand. More-so for the young trainees who are being let go. My sympathy for the released first team players is tempered a wee bit by the knowledge that, whilst some perhaps all maybe lacked the natural ability to have risen above SFL1, one or two won international age group honours, but failed to train-on to full cap status.

They have ended-up where they are, because they lacked the wit and intelligence to realise, the harder they worked, the luckier they might get in football.

Dunfermline has been a potential basket case for years. I can recall in the John Yorston days, the club being heavily in debt, begging the fans to get behind them, but continuing to live beyond its means, recruiting foreign players on big salaries rather than local Fife boys on lower wages.

I remember turning-up at games at East End Park, when the Pars were a upper-mid-table SFL1 side, providing a half time buffet that was better than what you got at more than a few SPL grounds. You saw blazered club officials strutting around, and you wondered - what do half these people do?

The Pars were mis-managed for years, now the chickens have come home to roost. And, you know something, they will not be the last club to fall.

Scottish football as a whole has over-spent, under-invested and mis-managed for years. Gretna, Rangers and Dunfermline have been the worst cases; but, have Dundee, Motherwell, Livingston, Dundee United, Hearts, Morton or Kilmarnock been much better.

All these clubs have diced with death, re-trenched and somehow survived. But, none of them has flourished after their "heart attacks or strokes" - and, surely, others will have their wee episodes in the near future.

Scottish football aint working and it needs major surgery - when will this message sink in?

FINALLY, there was an interesting wee piece from ESPN this week, pointing out that Ajax was the most-successful nursery club in Europe. Manchester United, Britain's best, came 17th in the list, whilst the much-vaunted Barcelona Academy was only fourth-best when it came to producing good players.

Celtic? Rangers? indeed any Scottish club? Sorry, the ESPN data didn't go that far down, but, it did show that the poorest leagues when it came to producing good players included the SPL, where only some 10-15% of the first team players were "home grown".

Aye Scotland, the country which produced the "Scotch Professors" of the 19th century, who taught England how to play the game the English codified, who took football to Argentina, Brazil and Uruguay, to name but three countries - now only found in that part of the world football map which reads: "here be hammer throwers".

Truly, the Flower of Scotland has withered - but, it aint dead just yet.

Novi Sad - Very Sad, But, I've Seen That One Before

SOME say, nostalgia isn't what it used to be; I couldn't possibly comment accurately. After all, I am only in my seventh decade and in that time, football, even in Scotland, has changed out of all recognition - and not for the better.

The game to which I was introduced, on the drying green of Craigston Square, Lugar and at Rosebank Park, home of the legendary Lugar Boswell Thistle, was a different animal from the pish I watched via TV pictures beamed from Novi Sad on Tuesday night.

Watching Gary Caldwell and Alan Hutton struggle to control a light ball, made of complex layers of artificial fabric, wearing similarly lightweight, machined boots made of plastic and other synthetic materials and lightweight, skin tight strips, of breathable fabric, I briefly pondered how they might have coped with the leather, laced Tomlinson "T" ball, whilst wearing huge brown ankle-high Manfield Hotspur boots, with their six leather nailed-in studs, and their hard toe-caps, whilst wearing a heavy cotton strip, thick woolen stockings and shin-guards the thickness of a telephone directory, on a cold, wet, night when the mud stuck to the players' kit, the ball grew increasingly heavy as it soaked-up the rain and injury brought on a masochistic trainer, who would splash the injured part of the player's anatomy with an ice-cold sponge and encourage him to: "Get up and run it aff son".

From scenes like these, auld Scotia's grandeur sprung - or so we were told.



I COULD re-hash all the old points I've made in the past: too-many teams, too-little attention to basic skills, a continued over-inflating of our place in the football world, aye, too-much nostalgia for past golden ages, which were at best gold-plated, or more-properly epns.

But, the fact is, there isn't an appetite within the corridors of power at Hampden for the implementation of the necessary changes which might get us back to the top table which we seem to think is our rightful place.

The SFA, SPL and SFL are wee, old-fashioned, long-established clubs (not that long in the case of the SPL) where being a member is everything. Faded grandeur, misty-eyed recollection of the good old days - which forensic examination of might  show weren't all that good - not rocking the boat, enjoying the benefits, these are the reasons d'etre of our footballing bodies - so, why change things?

We haven't, I fear, bottomed-out yet, and not until we do, until we are down there in pot five with Andorra, San Marino and the likes, are things even going to start to change.

So, I fear I will be sitting here for a few years yet, a sports-writing amalgam of Private Fraser and Victor Meldrew, with a wee camp nod to Frankie Howard - We're awe doomed ah tell ye; I do not believe it; woe, woe and thrice woe.



BUT, at least we can still laugh - Syria has been flung out of the Arab League, Charlie Green has nominated Rangers to fill the vacancy.

I'll Watch Tonight - Maybe From Behind The Couch

LIKE most Scots, I have slightly masochistic tendencies - can anyone offer me a more-plausible reason for the continuing healthy attendances at Hampden internationals? On international match days, such as today, pre-kick-off I can offer an outward show of confidence and belief, whilst within: forward tho ah canna see, ah guess an fear.

So it goes today. I shall, of course, switch on BBC1 Scotland tonight at 7.30pm, although I cannot guarantee I will still be watching when the final whistle blows on the Serbia v Scotland game.

The Serbs, even when they were the core team of the Balkans-wide Yugoslavia, were almost the Scotland of continental Europe - veering erratically between superb teams, able to beat anyone, and cringeworthy outfits who couldn't beat a carpet. Like us, they have always produced brilliant individuals, then singularly failed to build a team platform within which they could play effectively.

If Celtic and Rangers could occasionally produce club sides able to compete with anyone in Europe, so too could Red Star Belgrade; and, of course, particularly during the Yugoslav days, the national effort was often undone by dressing room unrest and in-fighting. Perhaps, they lacked an England to hate, for, like we Scots, if they lacked a common enemy, they, the Serbs, liked and still apparently like, nothing better than to fight amongst themselves.

So, tonight we face opponents who just might click and severely embarrass us, but who could, just as easily, prove even more inept than we are. Should be interesting.

I am not, for now, joining the movement to have WGS start experimenting and building towards the next European Championships, in the process effectively writing-off our current apparently doomed World Cup qualifying campaign.

It is a tough call for the wee man; does he pull the plug now, or does he wait until it is arithmetically impossible for us to qualify for Brazil - even though, results could conspire to leave us hanging-on by a thread and hoping other results will go for us right up until the final games?

However, it is to make such decisions that the SFA pays the wee man so much.

FORGIVE me if I continue to flog a horse which is, at best, on life-support. But, to me there just isn't a system in place to effectively run the national side.

Some years ago I did a statistical comparison of the various Scottish international team managers, it never saw the light of day, after it emerged that Scotland had performed better under the old system of the selectors picking the team, then leaving it up to the captain and the trainer to get that team onto the field, than we had under most of our highly-paid managers.

Back then, however, there was a system in place; that system was flawed, but, it worked better than today's non-system does.

Basically, players were selected in most cases, firstly for the Scottish League XI, or for the Anglo-Scots, who played a Home Scots selection most years. This latter exercise pitted potential Scottish internationalist against potential, or in many cases established Scottish internationalist, thereby giving the selectors a notion of how the new guy might do - an idea they also got from selection for the Scottish League XI.

So, if a young player did the business for the Scottish League, then he in due course got his cap. Then, in the 1950s, the selectors had the extra try-out levels of the Scotland B team or the Under-23 team.

I have long maintained, an Under-23 side is a better barometer of how a player might do internationally than an Under-21 side. Even though UEFA went down the route of Under-21 sides rather than Under-23, we ought to have maintained such a side, playing friendlies or doing end of season tours.

Germany has its Futures XI, to bridge the gap between the Under-21s and the big team and Berti Vogts tried this when he was Scotland boss, unfortunately he never got the full support of the SFA blazers and when he took over, Walter quietly dropped that notion - which was, in my view, a mistake.

Take as an example, Paul Caddis's late call-up into the squad to travel to Serbia. Back when he was eligible for the Under-21 team, from his first such cap in 2008 to turning 22 in 2010, Caddis won 13 Under-23 caps; in the same period he played 28 first team games, 17 for Celtic, 11 for Dundee United.

He then joined Swindon, for whom he has played 77 league games in the last two seasons; add a further 19 appearances during his current loan spell with Birmingham City - a spell interrupted by a dislocated shoulder - and it is clear he has enjoyed more regular football whilst out of the international reckoning than when in it. But, he has had almost no experience of playing against foreign opposition during this spell.

Had there been a system which kept him involved, integrating him into the national side tonight, should he be needed, would be less of a risk. Mind you, he mainly plays right back for his clubs - why has he been called-up as left-back cover? Or, maybe WGS will use Steven Whittaker, who has played left-back for Scotland, if needed.

There was that short-lived Celtic Home Nations tournament in Dublin, there might be a revival of the Home Nations next season, to celebrate the FA's 150th anniversary. Why not an Under-23 Home Nations as a means of further developing Under-21 talent.

I accept, such a tournament could become a long-ball, typically British cup tie sort of event, hardly ideal preparation for facing continental possession football, but, it is surely better than sending Under-21 players who become too old into the wilderness, there to sink or swim until perhaps needed three, four or more years down the line.

See the bigger picture, nobody at Hampden does.

Rangers in England - And Why Not

HELLO, hello, we are the Silly Boys, hello, hello, we're making all the noise...... And so it goes on, one of the triumphalist battle hymns of the Rangers, which, apparently, will be heard across England within five years.

Mind you, if we vote "Yes" on 18 September next year, it will not happen - which begs the question: is Charles Green taking Rangers to England a reason to vote "Yes" or "No" on the big date?

This blog has long held that were Rangers, or Celtic, or both, to force through a right to join the English league set-up on the grounds that keeping them in Scotland was restraint of trade under EU law - they would probably win their case; cue chaos in football.

I also believe not withstanding the likelihood of success, such a move would be the wrong one - better to work within the ECA (European Clubs Association) for the establishment of a European equivalent of the North American professional leagues - the MLB, MLF, NBA, NFL and NHL, which cover baseball, "true" football, basketball, American football and ice hockey - to me that's the way ahead and into really big money.

Sure, if either or both halves of the Old Firm went, Scottish football would initially take a hit financially. But, provided we went down the road of fiscal prudence and proper coaching and local player development, I believe, ten years on from the departure of the Bigot Brothers, we'd have a much-healthier game, and might well be back winning internationals. Who knows, we might even win back a few of the fans who have turned their back on our game in recent years.

Of course, the timing of Chuck's latest pronouncement is interesting - "Hold on, they're talking about the Scotland team and not us, quick, get me a controversial opinion to spout about", was apparently the order sent out from the Blue Room.

What, I wonder, will be Celtic's response, I am sure one of Mr Lawwell's minions, perhaps even the man himself, will have something to say for public consumption within the next 48 hours.

GOOD luck to Derek McInnes in his new post as Aberdeen manager - he will need it. Given the advantages which that club enjoys, being the biggest name in a town floating on a sea of oil money, the Dons ought to have been doing a lot better in recent years.

But, for some reason they have under-performed, regardless of who was the manager.

Get it right and win things there, make them forget a certain red-nosed Govanite who ruled their a couple of generations ago - and the world could be your managerial lobster.

  

Right enough - Mickey Thomas Has Learned To Spot Phonies

AS I was saying: "I believe we are better than the Welsh". Aye right, that was pre-kick-off on Friday, once the game got under way, reality rapidly set in.

I was willing to accept we had a bad team, not as bad as Mickey Thomas thought we were, but still a bad Scotland side. That said, I reckoned, at Hampden, we would still be good enough to take care of an average Welsh side. Doh!!

The performances, collectively and individually were rank rotten, with our so-called main men particularly poor. McGregor has gone backwards since leaving Rangers; Hutton still cannot defend; Caldwell has more caps than Willie Woodburn and Billy McNeill combined, but isn't even half as good as either of those giants. Hanley's movement for his goal was great - for the rest of the 90 minutes it was abysmal, but, he's young still.

Some years ago, while he was on-loan at St Mirren, I saw Charlie Adam stupidly get himself sent-off in a Scotland Under-21 game at Rugby Park, post-match he was all injured innocence. That night I put him down as a "Big Time Charlei" who would never amount to anything and should never again play for any Scotland side. 

Nothing in the interim, not least last night's display, has caused me to change my opinion. While I have never thought Shaun Maloney was international class.

I felt Strachan got his selection wrong. I'd have had Andy Webster and Stevie Naismith on from the start; and I would certainly have put Jordan Rhodes on ahead of Kenny Miller.

I have always had my doubts about Charlie Mulgrew being Scotland-class; he will in my honest opinion, never be a Jardine, McGrain or Caldow, but, in recent games he has looked comfortable in the international arena and that's as much as we can ask for.

We need to finally start taking international football seriously in Scotland. We need to have a development plan for players, we need the Tartan Army to accept: we really are shite and yes, we know we are - but, we are doing something about it, not staggering from crisis to crisis, manager to manager, as we have done since Craig Brown resigned.

This week's Herald list of Scotland's 50 Greatest Footballers was deeply flawed, but, I reckon, when they re-do the list in ten years' time to coincide with the 150th anniversary of the SFA: always assuming the Tartan Army hasn't rebelled, tore down Hampden and torn the "blazers" limb from limb in the interim; none of last night's squad will make that top 50.

Or, just maybe, Mickey Thomas was correct.

ANENT that Herald Top 50; to be sure, they got a lot of the names correct. I'd still have put the Lawman above Kenny at the top, while to leave-out Lawrie Reilly altogether - yer avin a larff Herald.

There are other omissions, from earlier years; but, I saw Lawrie play.....

Here's my list of 50 who should have been considered and a few of them had to get in:

Alternative listing in no particular order other than eras:

Victoriam era - Robert Gardner, Moses McNeill, Charles Campbell, William McKinnon, Dr John Smith, Tom Vallance, Walter Arnott, James Kelly.

Edwardian era - Charles Thomson, Alex Raisbeck, Bobby Walker, Neil Gibson, Dan Doyle, Jimmy Brownlie, Peter McWilliam, Alex Smith.

1920s - Andy Wilson, Davie Meiklejohn, Jimmy Gibson, Jimmy McMullan, Alex Jackson, Jack Harkness, John Thomson, 

George Stevenson, Bob Ferrier.

1930s - Alex Massie, Andy Anderson, George Brown, Bob McPhail, Tommy Walker, Jimmy Simpson, Matt Busby, Bill Shankly, Jimmy Delaney.

1940s - 1950s - Jimmy Cowan, Bobby Evans, Sammy Cox, Billy Liddell, Lawrie Reilly, Bobby Collins, Graham Leggat.

1960s - Alex Hamilton, Davie Wilson, Eddie Gray.

1970s - to present day - Davie Hay, Alan Rough, Jim Leighton, Rose Reilly, Julie Fleeting, Kim Little.

I Believe We're Better Than The Welsh - Strachan Must Convince His Players

I HOPE WGS has had his trick cyclist's hat on this week - because he has to get inside the heads of his players and persuade them, no, wrong word, convince them that the Welsh team in general and Gareth Bale in particular, are no better than they are.

I appreciate the boy Bale is a good player, however, like so-many of the big names who ply their trade in the English Premiership, there's a touch of the Barnum and Baileys about him. He's been hyped-up something rotten. One man can make a difference to a team, but, one can never beat 11.

WGS should be reminding his squad, had the refereeing team in Cardiff in the first match been even half-way competent, Scotland and not Wales would have won that game. We are good enough to beat the Welsh and, with the Tartan Army in full voice on the slopes of Hampden, nothing less is acceptable.

I accept, it will take a miracle to get us to Rio from where we now are, but, most-definitely, the comeback starts here, tonight.

ANOTHER wee reminder to Charles Green, Ally McCoist and the other entitlement junkies around Ibrox.  Yes, Scottish football does (apparently) need the cash your followers bring into the game - that's why you were allowed into SFL3, when, had "sporting integrity" and the SFA/SFL's own rules been strictly adhered to, you wouldn't even be there.

But, don't push it - another year in the lower divisions means another year for the management within Ibrox to realise, their management model, though not as flawed as that pursued by Sir David Murray, is still flawed.

Stop spending money on crap imports, properly nurture your kids, give them at least a year longer in which to gain experience and, when you do get to the top flight, you'll be more ready to cope and to eventually win back what you see as your rightful place as Ra Peepul.

Mind you, to get there and stay there - you'll probably need a change of manager.

THE (Glasgow) Herald has this week been running a series: The Top 50 Scottish Footballers of All Time. This is a shameless push for readers, either to the hard paper copies, or even the on-line version of a paper which is a shadow of its past glories.

The Herald list causes pub comments, but, as a serious list of the top 50 Scottish players, is subjective, and also flawed, since the young guys writing it lack the experience to properly evaluate a top 50 from the many great Scottish players since 1872.

The top five will be revealed tomorrow: we can assume already that Messrs Jimmy Johnstone, Kenny Dalglish, Denis Law and Jim Baxter will be there, with AN Other. I cannot begin to speculate on the final order, but expect - if only to assuage Old Firm passions, the Lawman will take top spot.

I hope, tomorrow, to post, not my alternative top 50, but, a top 50 of fairly obvious oversights. If nothing else, it will demonstrate the depth of talent we have had over the years.



ALMOST forgot, anent tonight's game. John "Bomber" Brown has been criticised for suggesting our defenders ought to remind Gareth Bale they are there early in the game. This is refined fitba speak for: "Just kick the so-and-so, as early in the game as you can", a tactic which has much to recommend it.

Best examples I ever saw of letting an opponent know you were there, early doors, came not in football, but in athletics and rugby.

The athletics one came in the 1979 European Cup Final, a team event in which each country had but one representative in each race. In the 800 metres, East Germany fielded Jurgen Straub, who would, a year later, take silver behind Seb Coe in the Olympic 1500 metres final in Moscow.

In the 1979 European Cup semi-final, he had elbowed Coe out of first place in the race, so, for the final, the British selectors picked Steve Ovett for the 800, with Coe stepping up to the 1500.

Anyway, in the 800, the gun went and Ovett came straight across from lane five to lane two at the 200 metres split point and immediately hooked Straub - who, sensibly, took station behind the Brit and accepted the silver medal.

The second occasion was in a Calcutta Cup game at Murrayfield, in the 1980s - the exact year escapes me. Scotland kicked off and instead of chasing the ball, John Beattie, father of Johnnie and now a distinguished BBC broadcaster, went straight downfield and punched England's six foot eight second row Wade Dooley.

Dooley, who lived up to his name on more than one occasion, immediately forgot all about the game plan and spent the entire 80 minutes trying to get his own back on Beattie Senr. Effectively playing with 14 men, England were well beaten.

Let them know you're there - it works. 

Scweaming Old Firm

I'VE forgotten his name now, but wasn't it a former Chief Executive of Aberdeen, subsequently discredited if I recall correctly, who described the Old Firm as a couple of raddled old "ladies of the night", desperately trying to attract somebody to take them away from Scottish football.

This week I tend to think of them as Violet Elizabeth Bott.

This week should be all about the happiness of the Paisley Buddies at their heroes' League Cup triumph and about the preparations for WGS's first competitive game as Scotland boss, but no, the Glasgow drama queens had to scweam and scweam until somebody paid attention to them.

Let's start with this storm in a tea-cup about the Green Brigade being "kettled" by Strathclyde's finest and prevented form holding an illegal march to Celtic Park from the other end of the Gallowgate.

Don't these guys know - you have to wear orange sashes and bowler hats to be allowed to parade your bigotry through the streets of Glasgow. Them's the rules.

Not to be outdone, we have this week''s sensible comment from Chuckie Green - who thinks Rangers should be parachuted straight into the middle 12-club league in the new and not yet ratified 12-12-18 formation of the proposed Scottish Professional Football League.

I don't suppose it has crossed Chuck's mind that:

His team is still "on probation" and is not yet in full membership of the SFL, far less the new league.

Had the rules been strictly adhered to - "new" Rangers wouldn't even be there.

Even if they win SFL3 - ok, when they win SFL3, Rangers will still only be the 31st-best side of the 42 "league" clubs in Scotland - how does being 31st in the pecking order entitle you to a place in the top 24? The logic of that one escapes me.

But, then the Old Firm has always done entitlement very well.

With pronouncements like that, am I alone in thinking Chuck hired the wrong media ego to be his spin doctor - he should have hired Chick Young rather than James Traynor.

WHICH brings me to Chick's team - St Mirren: Aye Right!!

I am happy for the Saints that they won the League Cup, but, since winning that trophy means essentially nothing - it doesn't get you into even the Europa League for instance, it's a fairly meaningless bauble. But, the League Cup always has been very much a Cinderella trophy.

I have long argued that the SFL, who run the tournament, should be thinking out of the box a bit when organising it. Back in the day, when it was run on a group leading to knock-out quarter-finals format, it was a great starter to the season, but, over the years it has lost its way.

I reckon the SFL should insist that teams which enter should field mainly Scottish sides - let's bring back the "eight diddies" or three foreigners rule, which means, each team has to have eight Scots-qualified players on the park at any one time in a tie. This would surely do much to encourage home-grown talent and would surely level the playing field.

FINALLY, I am still beelin' over one match outcome last weekend. My ain wee team, the once-mighty Lugar Boswell Thistle were playing Irvine Meadow in a local cup-tie on Saturday at Rosebank Park.

The "Jaggy Bunnets" had well and truly mowed the Meadow, and were leading 3-0 after 70 minutes when the game was abandoned, due to heavy snow. Now, the last time Lugar were 3-0 up on the Medda, I was still in primary school, but, now the match has to be replayed and I have a feeling that the Meadow, who have been playing some dire stuff this season, will be more like their true selves and will win this replay.

I know Meadow play in royal blue shirts, white socks and black stockings with red tops and they were once known as: "The Rangers of junior football", but, this abandonment has me believing in conspiracy theories.

WE WUZ ROBBED.

   

Time The Saints Marched In

THE great Bill Leckie allegedly quit the Paisley Daily Express back in 1987, over the paper's refusal to put his colour piece on St Mirren's Scottish Cup win over Dundee United on the front page - with a picture of Ian Ferguson scoring that cup-winning goal. It is difficult to blame him, but, the PDE was a strange animal back then.

When I had my spell in the paper's sports hot seat, things were different and on the couple of occasions during my spell there that St Mirren won something tangible - lesson learned, we went to town.

So, I trust Paul Behan, the latest in line to run the sports desk, is girding himself for a busy Sunday night, since I have a wee feeling that the Buddies can beat Hearts tomorrow and lift the Scottish League Cup for the first time.

I made a lot of friends in Paisley; St Mirren has a hard-core of decent fully-comitted fans, some of whom - such as Chairman Stewart "The Fat Controller" Gilmour and Brian "Marc's Dad" McAusland - are actually on the board. The likes of club Commercial Manager Campbell Kennedy, the true fans who work behind the scenes for FOSMA - the Friends of St Mirren Association and the celebrity fans such as Dougie Vipond, they deserve a win.

Not that I have anything against Hearts. A cup win would look good on Gary Locke's CV and I've got a lot of time for Ryan Stevenson, but, on-balance, I'd like to see Saints win, with a Stevie Thompson winner as a bonus, then he really could consider himself as good as his idol, the one and only "Basher" Lavety.

NAIVE fool that I am, I thought maybe a season or two in the lower leagues might teach some Rangers fans humility and some Celtic fans not to fear the men in blue. But, sadly, a trawl through the internet yesterday - it was a slow day - has taught me, nothing has changed.

The two teams might be leagues apart, but,the poison is still there and, I fear, the boil will never be lanced and the puss got rid of.

I HAVE never been a Dunfermline fan. Something about the club has always grated with me, even when they put on a Premier League purvey for the press, when the club was in the First Division.

And, maybe that is the kernel of the Pars'problems. When they were feeding us hacks royally, they couldn't afford it - we knew that, perhaps the club didn't and, being hungry hacks, we ate up and said nothing.

Dunfermline Athletic has been living beyond their means for years, now, reality has bitten and, unlike the fallen Rangers, there is no economic case for making them a special case and saving the club.

It is still sad that the club might well not survive past the end of the season, in fact, might not even reach there, but, while the first domino to fall, Rangers, has been prised upright again, I don't see the same thing happening to Dunfermline, and, if (when) they go, others will surely follow.

MESSAGE TO THE HAMPDEN BLAZERS - WE'VE GOT TOO-MANY SENIOR CLUBS IN SCOTLAND, IF A FEW FALL BY THE WAY SIDE IT WILL BE NO BAD THING FOR THE LONG-TERM GOOD AND SURVIVAL OF SCOTTISH FOOTBALL.

Craig Brown - A Good Man Who Deserves His Retirement

A YEAR or two back, at a post-match press conference, I addressed Craig Brown as "Bleeper" in posing a question. Later, one of the young pups who is one of our "top" football writers, asked what "Bleeper" was all about.

Brown has been known by that nickname since the late 1950s, because, after he skied a clearance in a Rangers training game, some player wag, (that's a joker as opposed to a WAG - wife and girl friend), allegedly that future giant of the Press Box, the Sunday Post's Doug Baillie said that when the ball came down it was making the same "bleep, bleep" noise as 'Sputnik', the first Russian unmanned space craft.

That tale goes to show just how long Mr Brown has been around football. Indeed, I have a book in the house with a picture of Brown, back when he was the "hottest" young talent in Scotland, captaining a Scotland Under-18 Schools XI, which also included Andy Roxburgh and a reserve from Govan High School named Alex Ferguson. Three future Scotland managers in one team - the goalkeeper, by the way, was future Hearts and Scotland back stop Jim Cruickshank - not bad.

Sadly, a serious knee injury put paid to Brown's hopes of greatness, until, in his own memorable phrase: "I was third-choice left-half at Rangers, behind Baxter and a Catholic".

Self-depreciation was Brown's defence against disappointment. He was a good Scotland manager, because, he was used to working with second-rate players, from his days at Clyde, and because, he was used to only having players under his charge part-time.

I have always found him very approachable, he has never taken football to the Shankly extremes of considering it more important that life or death. Of course, apart from a short spell at Dundee, he was never a full-timer, and, being college educated and having his brains in his head rather than his feet, a sense of proportion, all-too-often lacking in the Scottish game.

I wish him well in retirement, where doubtless he will become a welcome recruit to the Sportsound team - the traditional retirement home for former Scottish football managers.

He might also find time to rectify a couple of past omissions. Two sixtysomething widows of my acquaintance, both showing few signs of wear and tear and still, by their own admission, appreciative of the attentions of a refined gentlemen have always felt somewhat slighted; since Brown didn't "hit" on them whilst cutting a swathe through the female students at Craigie College in Ayr.

Their message is: now you've retired Craig, come back to Ayr and pay us a visit.

Whilst we are dealing in matters of the flesh - last week in the Guardian cricket blog, the story was told of the South African fast bowler of the 1930s who was a hero of the late, great, England wicket-keeper Godfrey Evans, since the Saffer had been the first player to score 100 on tour - that has nothing to do with runs-making, but refers to the fact that, on a tour of England, he bedded 100 women.

Evans will hold for all time the absolute England to Australia record - he apparently bedded a different lady every night during the then six weeks long voyage from England to Sydney during the 1950s, and threw in several matinee sessions with other ladies as well. And there was me thinking sex had been invented in October, 1964.

The Evans record makes David Boon's 73 cans of lager devoured on a Sydney to London flight look well, small beer.

BUT, I digress. I wonder, now we have an English Premiership-free last eight in the Champions League, and Spurs needed an extra time away goal to get past Inter in the Europa League - will our southern neighbours STILL insist that the EPL is: "The Greatest League In The World".

You bet they will - Sky and the English press corps have never let reality infringe on the hype.

Lionel Messi - No Longer The Top Argentinian

IT has been a good week to be Argentinian, not such a good one to be Italian - what with wee Lionel Messi giving another masterclass in Barca's Champions League win over AC Milan, then the Argentinian cardinal coming out of left field to grab the big gig in St Peter's.

Watching the Barca v AC match, I was again struck by football's failure to adapt well-proven fair play ideas from other sports. I was struck by the way the AC defenders almost waited their turn to boot Messi. Two or three took yellow cards for quite cynically preventing the wee Argentinian genius from inflicting even more damage than he did.

Why cannot football adopt the basketball idea of personal fouls, so that, if you commit a certain number of fouls - in basketball it is five - you are out of the game, but you can be replaced.

Another basketball idea which would have worked in the Neu Camp was the idea of team fouls - so that, when a team commits a given number of fouls, in total, each subsequent defensive foul gives the opposition a free throw from the foul line. In football that would mean, penalty kicks.

These two ideas, personal and team fouls, just might put an end to the cynical - stop him by any means - fouls on the likes of Messi or Cristiano Ronaldo and allow the entertaining flair players to play. I commend them to the house.

FROM the haste with which David Longwell of the SFL came-up with the notion that the Old Firm should be allowed to put second teams into the Scottish senior leagues, once they bugger off either to England or, more likely, to Europe - I think we are being softened-up for such an eventuality.

The next change to the Champions and Europa Leagues has to take them closer to a European NFL, and, when that happens, the two Glasgow sides will be in it, given their core support.

So, it makes sense to have a continued OF presence in the Scottish domestic game and anyone opposing such a move has, to my mind, to have a screw loose.

In fact, it could happen even before they head off to pastures new. Let's face it, if Celtic are in Aberdeen, with only a limited number of their core support able to get a ticket, then that leaves an awful lot of Hoops fans, who would, I warrant, be only too happy to cheer-on a Celtic Under-23 team at Ayr United or Dumbarton.

Similarly, when Rangers get into the top flight, the same scenario will apply and this will mean extra income for the smaller clubs. I know some will not like what they see as preferential treatment for the Big Two - come off it, they've been getting preferential treatment for years, this will only formalise this, but, has benefits for the rest. What's not to like about it?

SPEAKING of fierce rivalries - the natives are getting a wee bit restless here In Orange County, at the possibility of a Talbot v Cumnock Emirates Scottish Junior Cup Final this season. Such a fixture would surely produce the biggest crowd of the season for Rugby Park - the obvious venue.

Both sides are in quarter-final action this weekend, with the 'Nock entertaining cup holders Shotts Bon Accord at Townhead Park and the 'Bot, who are unbeaten at the top of the Stagecoach West of Scotland Superleague through in Fife facing Kelty.

I understand, if they get into the semi-finals, the square and oval balls will be in the hat for the draw, no other pairing offers such a potential pay day for the juniors - while Strathclyde Police will fancy the overtime.

Goal Line Technology - There Is No Alternative

THINGS our mithers said, number 1690: "Weel - ye ken noo".

We now know that Scottish football is so skint, we cannot afford goal-line technology; we further know that the short-term answer, to tide us over until the day we can afford glt (don't worry, Wee Eck will divert some of his oil billions come the revolution) will be better training for our officials.

Aye Right, I don't think the steroid has yet been invented which would have allowed Raymond Whyte to be in two places almost simultaneously in the Hearts v Hibs game: he'd have had to have been quicker than Usain Bolt to have adjudicated on offside on the 18-yard line when Leigh Griffiths hit that shot, then got to the corner flag to decide whether or not the ball had crossed the line - and he'd only have got that quick with chemical enhancement.

So, in cases such as last weekend's, we could have the best-trained officials in the world and it wouldn't have helped.

The blazers are telling us it would cost upwards of £100,00 to fit the necessary equipment at each ground, so, it is likely we'll have argument for years to come. What's new in Scottish football? Argument and controversy has kept the game going for over 140 years up here. What alternatives are there?

In the short term, we could look for goal judges, as they have in ice hockey, fingers poised over a button which sets off a red light whenever the puck crosses the line - that system might work in football, the goals are bigger, the ball is bigger than a puck and moves somewhat slower.

Goal line officials are supposed to work in European games, but, as the Celtic v Juventus game at Celtic Park clearly demonstrated, only if we pick officials who are allowed to bring their guide dogs into the country - the additional assistant referees that night were clearly two see-no-evil brass monkeys, rather than trained officials.

IF trained properly and capable of doing their jobs, AARs, as they are called might work, but, not for the first time - I hae ma doots.

DON'T you just love the short-termism and lack of effective thinking in the EPL. Just a few short weeks ago, Football Focus did an in-depth piece on Reading, which praised manager Brian McDermott to the heavens. This week, after losing to Paul Lambert's Aston Villa, he gets the sack, with our old pal Paulo De Canio seemingly set  to make the short commute from Swindon as successor.

I have always liked Paulo, he's an original, but, will he (if he does get the gig) do better than McDermott? Again - I hae ma doots.

FINALLY, well done to our Women's team, who followed-up their 4-4 draw with England by beating Italy in the Cyprus Cup. But, how typically Scottish, to have earlier lost to New Zealand. That said, in any sport, you have to accept that the Kiwi ladies will have had more backing than the Scots from their own association.

I still say it is a bloody disgrace that the Scots women such as Julie Fleeting - surely the finest Scottish striker since Denis Law - or Kim Little, who have qualified through winning 50 caps, are still not officially recognised in the SFA's Hall of Fame.

At least Signorina Reilly is in the Scottish Football Hall of Fame, with Julie F a certainty to join her sooner rather than later.

Ach, women canny jine the Messons, so maybe that explains the omissions from the SFA HoF.