A Difficult Birth, Prior To a Surely Hard Life

SO, WE have a brand, spanking-new, all-singing, all-dancing Scottish Professional Football League - haud me back!!

I will, this once, fore-go my default position when assessing the thought processes, such as they are, of the Hampden "blazers" (We're awe doomed, doomed ah tell ye); no, let's be charitable and wish the new body well - but.....cue sharp intake of breath.

I fear the doubts and misgivings of the body of the old SFL kirk were all too real; I do feel they were led up the garden path and held to ransom by the old SFL First Division clubs, but, what has been decided is not the way forward for Scottish football.

We have gone from three ruling bodies to two - which is still one too many for a country as small as Scotland. It is still far too easy to become a professional footballer in Scotland. We still have too many "senior" clubs and, I am sorry but, a part-time football club cannot, by definition be a "professional" one.

It will all end in disaster, but, since "Disaster For Scotland" is a pre-set headline on every national Scottish newspaper, we cannot, when disaster strikes, as it surely will, say we weren't ready for it.

No use going over old ground, but, this isn't the right set-up, it has been cobbled together far too quickly and it will all end in tears.

THE new Rangers' strips were unveiled yesterday - well done the Stevie Wonder School of Football Kit Design, another triumph.

And well done James Traynor, Rangers' Head of Corporate Affairs - brought in at what is surely a handsome wedge, considering the Daily Rhebel and English Broadcasting Corporation retainers he had to forego - on demonstrating how (not) to make maximum impact.

When arranging these photo-shoots, attention to detail is everything, so, when trumpeting a new kit deal with Puma, attention to detail ought to include making sure none of the featured models or "players" is wearing non-Puma and most-definitely NEVER Adidas boots.

Come on James - you ought to know that.

I HAVE not yet got around to watching the BBC documentary about Andy Murray, which was shown as a prelude to Wimbledon. But, from speaking to friends who have seen it, it appears that our Andy does more training in a single day than our so-called top footballers do in a week.

That's maybe why he's Number Two in the world and Scotland is number whatever we are this week in the football world. This, of course, comes back to what I said at the start of this post - it is far-too-easy to become a professional footballer in Scotland and, until we demand greater fitness, more skill and much more dedication of our players, Scotland will be also-rans.

Nice One Britney - You Got People Reading

ON THE Herald website, indeed, on most newspaper websites, there is a wee box which indicates what have been the most-viewed items of the past few days. Tight now, THE story as far as the Herald's readership is my old mate Graham Spiers's Tuesday piece on whether or not Rangers' "died" with the liquidation last year.

This has had the commenters and posters much-agitated, with arguments for and against oldco and newco, 55 titles or one. Well done "Britney" you have achieved the prime goal of the columnist, you've got people reading you and arguing.

My own view is: if it walks like a duck, quacks and calm on the surface progress is accompanied by frantic below the water-line paddling, it is a duck.

The team which won the Scottish Football League's Third Division last season plays at Ibrox Stadium, the players play in blue shirts with white shorts, the management are still over-paying average players to a ridiculous extent, the fan base still contains a larger than average proportion of in-breds and neanderthals, who are fighting Northern Irish political and religious differences through Scottish football - Aye, they're Rangers all right.

IT took a day longer than I anticipated, but, Hearts are now officially in administration. How BDO handle things will be interesting; sadly it appears inevitable that there will be redundancies and I believe the way BDO handle things will be markedly different from the dog's dinner which Dumb and Dumber made at Ibrox last year.

I can, as I did with Rangers last year, see no alternative to liquidation; but, this ought to be good news for the proposed fans'buy-out. Better perhaps to wait for the plug being pulled, then to start afresh in SPFL4, or whatever the bottom tier of the new league is called. After all, last year's handling of the Rangers problem indicates that a "new" Hearts would surely be invited in. They might not be the 50,000 fans Rangers could bring to the table, but, Hearts' 10,000 hard core are a body which senior football in Scotland cannot afford to lose.

I HAVE been dipping in and out of the Confederation Cup matches on BBC this past week. Last night, I watched a bit of the Italy v Japan game. The fact that the Japanese can compete at that level shows the benefits of not having a century or more of "it's aye been done that way son" holding a nation back.

The quicker Scotland gets rid of "aye beenism" the sooner we will be back as a competitive nation in European and World football.

East Kilbride In The Lowland League - Window Dressing

I TRY, as far as I possibly can, to avoid East Kilbride; all those roundabouts, makes me dizzy. However, as a planned conurbation - I don't think it has, given it was a wee place until the decision was taken in 1948? to build the New Town there, much "community" about it.

However, it might be that in a year or three, East Kilbride will be a real hot bed of Scottish football.

Right now, junior side East Kilbride Thistle are the local king-pins. They've got a near 50-year history, have won the Scottish Junior Cup once and, even though the club is currently in the doldrums, they will surely rise again.

Except, their local leadership in football matters is facing a two-pronged threat, not least from the news this week that East Kilbride FC have been admitted to the new Lowland League, which will kick-off later this year.

I had a quick look at their web site and EK are certainly not short on ambition. I wish them well, but, would wager if EKFC were to face East Kilbride Thistle on Saturday, my money would be on the Thistle.

Then, there is the Clyde connection. Moves are afoot to see the Bully Wee re-locate from the wastelands of Westfield, Cumbernauld to EK; perhaps amalgamating with EK Thistle. The decision to admit EKFC to the Lowland League might just throw a spanner into the works of that one, because, it is patently clear there isn't room in EK for two or three clubs.

The fact must also be recognised, the two biggest clubs in East Kilbride are now and for as far ahead as we dare look, will continue to be Rangers and Celtic. When all these families were moved out of Glasgow to East Kilbride in the fifties and sixties, they were almost exclusively Old Firm fans; and today, in some cases more than 50-years on, the descendants of these overspill decants are still Old Firm fans.

There might be a few Thistle fans, a handful of Clyde followers and perhaps even one or two bowler-hatted Queen's Park supporters, but I am as certain as I can be, there will not be enough people left over to support two local clubs, far less three.

I suppose, putting EKFC and Stirling University into the new league broadens the geographic breadth of the organisation, but, in reality, it is unsustainable. A couple of trips to Dalbeattie, or Castle Douglas, Galashiels or Selkirk will test the loyalty of the players, far less the handful of fans which EKFC will initially garner.

I trust the EKFC fans realise where Vale of Leithen is, and don't head for Loch Lomondside.

Here's an idea for a pre-season tournament for July/August 2014. Bring together the winner of the Lowland League, the bottom team in the SPFL and the winners of the Junior East and West Superleagues; my money's already on Auchinleck Talbot coming out on top.

SO, Hearts are finally in administration; perhaps now the future of this great Edinburgh and Scottish Football institution can be secured.

Mind you, if I was Ian Murray MSP or anyone else involved in making sure there is still a Heart of Midlothian FC to support, I wouldn't be rushing to buy the club in administration. I'd gamble on waiting for liquidation, then get in there.

After-all, the way Rangers were treated after liquidation, the template has been set. Put Hearts, owned by a supporters' group, into SPFL4 next season and hope Gary Locke could bring a group of mainly young players through back to the top.

Show Rangers the correct way to do this.

OR, with Hearts in liquidation, perhaps a group of the great and good in Edinburgh football could put together a scheme, combining Hearts and Hibs, to produce a single Edinburgh club which could truly challenge anything Glasgow might throw at them. It would make for a more-interesting SPFL than we are going to get.

New League - New Promise - But Still The Same Old Media Interest - Rangers

LET'S see - Celtic are in the process of buying-in another, apparently gifted, young foreign striker, whom they will presumably hope to sell-on to a richer, but surely no greater EPL team; they may or may not be in the process of doing such a sell-on deal with the big Keen-yin.

Motherwell have managed to hold on to Stuart McCall as manager, the other SPL teams are quietly shopping in the football equivalent of Poundstretcher and Iceland - most-notably Kilmarnock, who need a new management team, like yesterday.

Hearts are, if not yet dead, in Intensive Care and, the specialist is struggling to put on his brave but concerned face.

We've got a new league set-up being formulated, although, the big junior clubs, the real powerhouses below full-time football don't want to know about it - but, what's the thing which is generating the most on-line activity among the football public during this close season?

Of course it's Rangers. Be they Celtic family members - keen to parrot the latest must-be-learned addition to the catechsim: "Rangers are deid, Sevco are not Rangers", or triumphalist CF members, keen to remind the opposition: "Youse is deid, an yer new incarnation are pish - these days: WE are the People"; or be they Orange supremacists - determined to keep Timmy in his place, by reminding him of their still-living, still-fighting, put-upon non-surrendering club's fight-back against the ranks of the jealous who so cruelly and unjustly cast the club into outer darkness; that, for all the injustices done to them: still, WE ARRA PEEPUL, supporting the Queen's XI, now and for ever.

If Rangers truly had gone-under, they'd have had to have been invented, Scotland needs something to argue about and for the foreseeable future, in football, that will be Rangers.

It is interesting that a club which didn't exactly set the heather on fire in winning the final season of SFL3, which is clearly being mis-managed, by over-paying an over-staffed, over-hyped staff, including a manager who somehow doesn't seem up to the job, should be attracting so-much money from investors from outwith Scotland.

The ordinary Rangers supporter, unlike his Celtic counterpart, doesn't seem keen to put his money in his pocket and invest. But, lots of noveau-riche city boys from London apparently see Rangers as a good investment - or, might that be a good tax loss?

Do they know something we don't know; or will they, as I feel they might - get badly burned.

At Times Like These - You Have To Laugh

WHEN you're weary, feeling small, there is, I find, an instant first-thing-in-the-morning pick-up - log-on to Herald.co.uk and read my good pal Ken Smith's Herald Diary, it never fails to lift the spirit.

I particularly liked a couple of this morning's offerings - the Diary reader who suggests the new SPFL stands for: "Standards Plummet - Fans Leave" and the (probably Hibs) fan who recalls Vladimir Romanov promising that Hearts, under this control, would: "match Rangers and Celtic".

"Aye, he got it half right" says this Diary reader.

Last close season it was: "Let's all laugh at Rangers"; this time round it's: "Let's all laugh at Hearts". Schadenfreude is a feeling we Scots relish, but, given the overall state of Scottish football, it's more a case of: "there but for the grace of God".

Even Celtic, the biggest, the richest, the current market leaders need not feel too-smug, if Mr Desmond should slip crossing O'Connell Street in front of a bus, should the maintenance on his private jet not be up to scratch, should he get too close to a twitchy stallion at Coolmore or a frisky filly at Ballydoyle - then Celtic will be in deep doo-dah too.

Anent Hearts, Mr Southern blaming the fans for the club's current crisis reeks a bit of Marie Antoinette. Rangers got into deep shit because of David Murray's mis-management; Over-spending was the downfall of Dundee (twice - or was it thrice?), Motherwell and Dunfermline Athletic. The same management method has left umpteen other clubs, such as Kilmarnock, Ayr United, Morton and St Mirren in intensive care for long periods and has left three of the above-named quartet currently up for sale, with no realistic interest.

We, the ordinary punters, love our football, we just don't love the management morons in the board-rooms and technical areas, who have by their failings, brought Scottish football to its knees.

'Wad but some power, the giftie gie us.....' as The Bard wrote. Well, the blazerati in Hampden and some of the numpties in the various dug-outs are seen as just that numpties; how typically Scottish to join-in the laughter at us, rather than doing something to have us taken seriously.

WHICH reminds me, 50-years ago yesterday, in the Bernabeu in Madrid, Scotland beat Spain 6-2, still our best result outside the British Isles.  The XI - Adam Blacklaw, Billy McNeill and Davie Holt, Frank McLintock, Ian Ure and Jim Baxter, Willie Henderson, Davie Gibson, Ian St John, Denis Law (captain) and Davie Wilson won it on a mixture of anger and chutzpah.

It was a "Fuck Youse" statement by a squad who had been decried and derided for surrendering a 3-2 lead in the final ten minutes to lose 4-3 in Norway, then been caught cold early-on and beaten 1-0 in Dublin.

"Bring them home - they're an embarrassment"; "Sack Law" - who had scored a hat-trick in Norway; "We'll get hammered in Spain": these were the measured opinions of that generation of football writers.

What did the players do. Well, there was a bomb scare at Dublin Airport - perhaps the work of the Tartan Army's terrorist wing, the Wee Arra Peepul? The players were ordered outside onto the tarmac, where Dave Mackay, challenged the rest to emulate his party piece: he would flip a half crown up in the air, catch it on his instep, flick it up onto his thigh, then onto his forehead, before dropping it into his top jacket pocket.

Baxter took-up the challenge, various wagers were struck and, by the time the bomb scare was over, the squad was happy and united. Law might have been captain on the day, but, pre-match Mackay, the real captain, said: "Go out there and show these journalists what you can do".

Six goals followed - all five forwards plus McLintock scored -  and in the second half Baxter and Law led a piss-taking keep-ball session, which was roundly condemned by the travelling journalists.

Imagine today, IF (and I know this calls for a suspension of reality), Scott Brown & Co, with a four-goal lead, could play keep-ball against Spain, at Hampden. The massed "OLES" from the Tartan Army would drown anything ever heard in the Plaza de Torres, far less the Neu Camp in Barcelona.

La Toya Jackson, Chick Young and Co would probably criticise the team for not keeping the foot down and going for a six-goal lead.

Sunshine and a Brand New Bright Tomorrow - Gie's Peace

PEACE has broken out in Scottish Football; the SFL has surrendered to the blackmail and blandishments of the SPL and their own greedy First Division clubs. Welcome to the bright glad new tomorrow.

Aye Right.

I will not forecast gloom, doom and damnation - we've been doomed and damned for years, the gloom will continue. OK, faint praise first - two bodies running senior football in Scotland is better than three; but, it's not nearly as good as one would be: but, while some bailiewicks have vanished, there are still too many snouts in the trough on the sixth floor at Hampden.

This merger has been forced, it has been unduly hurried, through the greed of the First Division clubs and I am sure they will have plenty of leisure in which to repent once the reality of what they have done sinks home - assuming it ever does.

The merger will not right the wrongs of Scottish football, it will merely extend the lives of these wrongs. There are still too-many clubs, chasing too-few interested punters. Boys will still jump at the chance of a career in football and be dumped one, two or three years later, with n o qualifications onto a labour market for which football has left them singularly ill-equipped to cope.

Celtic will still, until, if ever, Rangers are restored to something like their former strength, hoover up the bulk of the cash and titles, then spend that cash of foreign mercenaries, who will sign-on, kiss the badge, do their two or three years then shoot the craw.

The TV companies will still under-value our game, treat us like third-raters and as always, the fans will be marginalised and ignored.

More than half the clubs will continue to accept the status of "senior" clubs, and do nothing to merit that status. They will continue to insist they are "professional", when they are nothing of the sort.

At least, a start has been made to a pyramid, with the formation of the new Lowland League - except, quite a few of the better semi-professional clubs will not be in it. Don't expect too-many of the top junior clubs, clubs which are, in reality, every bit as good, if not better than some of the perennial stragglers at the foot of what was the SFL, to be applying to join the new league.

It's a mess, but, hey, we Scots simply love messes - it gives us something to moan about, and, we don't half like a moan.

Brave New World - don't make me laugh: we're awe doomed.

Dreich relaity - A Lot Of Hot Air, But Not Much, If Anything, Will Change

WELL, that was good; but, I'm afraid the Zagreb feel-good factor will rapidly wear-off as we confront the dreich reality of Scottish football in June.

The players will go off for their well-earned holiday, while the blazers will get back to what they do best, keeping Scottish football messed-up. I read Regan's attempted speil on the Lowland League. The blazers will probably cobble it together, but, it will, as explained in the Sunday papers, make no difference.

As always self-interest will rule. NO mtter what they do up on Hampden's sixth floor, we will still be stuck with too-many "senior" teams in Scottish football. The nation cannot support more than 16 to 20 "senior" clubs, and until the blazers accept this and cull accordingly - we will have to make-do with occasional good results, such as Friday's.

If they decide on 16, fair enough - one Scottish National League will suffice; if they decide on 20, let's have no more of this SPL1 and SPL2 pish - one league, two conferences; the teams play each other home and away to decide a seeding order, then we go into a Champons League play down to decide the Champions.

Fill-in around the core league season with a revised League Cup, going back to a mix of group games and knock-out, plus the Scottish Cup.

And, bring-in sanctions to make the playing field flatter; salary caps, squad caps, demand a high number of the players should beScotland-qualified, make it a Scottish League which truly benefits Scottish football.

As for the culled teams, from the current SFL2 and SFL3 - they have to be given a meaningful role, as development leagues. They should be associate clubs to the "senior' ones - do away with reserve teams, the big teams ought to have a first-team squad and an Under-19 squad; above Under-19 the players are farmed-out to the other teams - the culled "senior" ones, plus the best of the rest, whose squads have to be mainly Under-23 or Under-25. As I have said before, we might even think of aboloshing a domestic transfer system and work via loans and a pre-season draft.

But, first of all and most-important of all; we have to positively discriminate in favour of home-grown talent, which would surely see (in time) better coaching.

Unless we redefine the role of the tail of the senior dog, we couldn't have a proper pyramid. A proper pyramid would perhaps look like this:

 the Scotland team

Senior Conference A          Senior Conference B

South-West Regional League   South-East Regional League   North Regional League

Expanding pyramid structure under each regional league according to team density

That way every team would find their level, remember, not every East of Scotland, Suth of Scotland or Highland League side will necessarily want to try for the seniors and, most-certainly very few junior teams will. They prefer local rivalries and, if successful, bragging rights - we Scots do like to be better than our neighbours; we prefer to be big fish in small ponds rather than The Master Race.

TAXI for Shiels, is the cry in Kilmarnock this week; and about time too. Yes, the other high-profile Northern Irish manager in Scotland has done well in making a lot of limited resources at Rugby Park - he has given a few youngsters their chance.

But, along the way he has, if we discount the Hun hordes from the sum, probably made more enemies than Mr Lennon. He (Shiels), is a liability to Killie and, as someone with a very soft spot for the old club, and a healthy cynicism where Wee Michael the Chairman is concerned, in this instance, I'm with the Chairman.

Big Win In Zagreb - Small Ripple Across The Pond Of International Football

Many years of following Scotland has taught me one thing - difficult though it is, it pays to maintain a degree of balanced cynicism when assessing international results.

You bet, I am delighted at last night's result from Zagreb, but, one somewhat fortuitous away win doth not immediate qualifiers for the 2016 Euros make. Sure, the 70th ranked nation in FIFA beating the fourth-ranked, away from home is a good result, however, I have long held that FIFA's rankings system is flawed. Look at it in European, or even Scottish terms rather than world rankings.

In European terms, Croatia went into last night's game as the third-ranked side, Scotland were ranked 34th. In Scottish terms, the game was St Johnstone v Peterhead. OK, you would expect Saints to beat Peterhead most times they played, but, supposing the Saints players looked at the opposition and decided: "This lot can play nane, this'll be easy", were defied in the opening 20 minutes, shipped a goal in a breakaway then couldn't lift themselves to get an equaliser and finally lost 1-0.

It could happen, nobody would think too-much of it and, after a short time, the world would move on.

Last night's win was just another in the long list of "great" Scottish victories which, in the bigger picture, meant little. This is an eternal quirk of the Scottish football psyche. The Wembley Wizards match was a wooden spoon decider. Wembley 1967 was a European Championships qualifier - we humbled England that day, they still won the qualifying group. We beat France home and away in another European qualifying campaign, but lost in Georgia and didn't get through.

Pre-match I mentioned it fell on the 35th anniversary of the Iran game. In some ways, last night we were Iran. The fancied team didn't play and were embarrassed - usually it's Scotland that is the fancied team which under-performs. So, we should be thankful, for once the boot was on the other foot.

We rode our luck big style, but, the boys showed that one long-held Scottish tradition was in evidence; they battled for each other. It wasn't pretty at times, but they played like a true Scottish team, all for one and one for all.

I've never been a great McGregor fan; sure, he makes some fantastic stops, but, I don't rate his penalty box management and his judgement of crosses. Last night, he didn't have a single Class A save to make, but, he let a couple of dangerous balls whip across his face.

Hutton has always been over-rated; sure, he gets forward well, but is all too-often caught ball watching. I think, however, going to Spain has improved him - he did well.

Our untried central pairing were no worse than anything else we might have had. I was surprised that Andy Webster wasn't playing. However, on last night's evidence, we could do worse than allow Hanley and Martin to grow together.

Steven Whittaker is Mr Dependable, stick him in the team, he will rarely be outstanding, but, he will not let you down, he was rock-solid.

The midfield all did exceptionally well. Skipper Morrison filled gaps and made himself available in the manner of Darren Fletcher; I don't think he touched the ball too-often, but he was always around it and available, always encouraging and backing-up. Watching him with Hamilton, I always felt McArthur was more of a team player than the more-celebrated McCarthy. He has now, unobtrusively grown into a Scotland player of stature.

Snodgrass gambled for the goal, took it well and was tireless, the sort of box-to-box midfielder we used to produce by the barrow-load and sell-on to the top English clubs. Bannan exploded into the Scotland squad a wee while ago, then, partly through his problems at club level, all but sank. A lot was asked of him last night, he hasn't played too-much in recent months, but, he played well last night, taking advantage of his chance, which came through injuries to others. He wanted to play for Scotland - others please note.

I've never been much of a Maloney fan, but, he's had a terrific end to the season, relegation notwithstanding. He has shone like a beacon in a poor Wigan team and last night, he had probably his best game in a Scotland shirt. He's a throwback to the kind of players we used to produce in numbers and all the more welcome for that.

Finally Leigh Griffiths. It wasn't his type of game, what he was asked to do is alien to his nature, but, he ran himself into the ground, must have covered several thousand acres and for all his was a thankless role, he received terrific thanks from Strachan and particularly McGhee - who surely knew what the lad went through.

In short, last night - we had a Scotland TEAM. And, I feel, Strachan is building a squad.

That's another thing, this team grew out of a lengthy period together in the build-up, maybe we should play fewer meaningless friendlies and have more squad sessions, perhaps ending with a bounce game against a club side, to build-up confidence.

Next up, it's England. I'm scared; last night we showed we can beat a good team that has a bad night. What if Wembley turns out to be the night the bad team - England - has a good game? Maybe we should have lost last night, just to keep English over-confidence high, then slaughtered them.

On second thoughts, no - we've been down that road before. Let's just beat them any way.

Here's how I'd like to beat the English. They hammer us for 90 minutes, are denied three stone-wall penalties, then, in injury time, an English shot rattles our cross-bar, comes down a yard over the line, but, the goal isn't given. Our centre-half hoofs the ball up the park where our centre forward, a couple of yards offside, brings it down with his hand, turns, runs at the England goalkeeper, nutmegs him, sees his shot hit one post, trundle along the goal line, hit the other post and, as he rushes back to try to clear, a back-tracking England defender is tripped by our now prostrate striker, falls flat on his face and heads the ball into the net. The goal is given, the final whistle is blown - England 0 Scotland 1. Dancer!!

Infamy, Infamy, They All 'Ad It In F' Me

TO SOME of us, it's the greatest single line in British cinema history - and to the Tartan Army, it particularly resonates today, 7 June.

For, 7 June, 1978: to quote the late American president Franklin D Roosvelt, about another date - 7 December, 1941: "A date that will live in infamy", 7 June 1978 was the day when Ally MacLeod could justifiably say: "Infamy, infamy, they all 'ad it in f' me".

Poor old Ally, as he removed his head from his hands and looked out across the Estadio Chateau Carreras in Cordoba, Argentine that sunny afternoon, in the aftermath of a World Cup clash which had ended: Scotland 1 - Iran 1, knew exactly how Julius Caesar, as portrayed by Kenneth Williams, felt as he stumbled across Shepperton Studios' re-creation of Rome's Forum.

The kid-on knife wounds Williams/Caesar supposedly endured didn't hurt, Ally carried the mental scars of the "chibbing" he took from the Tartan Army, and in particular the Lap Top Loyal Brigade thereof to his grave.

So, thanks to what poor old Ally endured after 7 June, 1978, Wee Gordon Strachan can rest assured, even if, as some of us fear - our Scotland team gets a right doing in Zagreb's Maksimir Stadion tonight, the wee ginger one will get off relatively unharmed.

He will, after all, be without several men who have become cornerstones of Scotland squads during the recent, troubled past. Wee Scott Brown, for instance, would surely have relished tonight's battle; how we long for the calming presence of skipper Darren Fletcher and, if some of the Tartan Army might be quite pleased to see Gary Caldwell missing, let's not forget the often maligned one, has been a tower of strength in more than one back-to-the-wall Scotland performance over the last decade.

The Iran game is set in stone. Ignore Scotland 0 - England 5, at Hampden, in March, 1888, the date on which Arthur Montford's grand-father first intoned the phrase: "Disaster for Scotland"; overlook Richmond 1893 and Wembley 1930: England 5 - Scotland 2 on both occasions; wipe from our collective consciousness Wembley 1955 and 1961: England 7 - Scotland 2, then, England 9 - Scotland 3; fail to recall Austria 5 Scotland 0, or Austria 4 - Scotland 0, in Vienna in 1931 and 1951.

At least, when Scotland suffered these thumpings, we lost to good teams. But ONLY drawing with Iran, that result will forever be seen as the pits of Scottish football ineptitude. That wasn't supposed to happen. We were gonnae shake them up, when we won the World Cup, fur, Scotland is the greatest football team.

At least, back 35 years ago, we still had players like Archie Gemmill who had the chutzpah to go out again four days later and score one of the great solo goals of all time and inspire the narrowest of wins over one of the two best teams in the world.

Can we honestly see a Gemmill for the 21st century in Strachan's squad?

We will, most-likely, lose tonight; we know this, we can accept this - for this is where Scottish football is today. We are an irrelevance, make-weights in our World Cup qualifying group. This is the spot to which the befuddled blazers of Hampden's sixth floor corridors of power have led us.

This is the legacy of Graeme Souness's belief - when he arrived to take up the post of Rangers' manager in the summer of 1986: that there wasn't another Scottish player then active fit to lace his boots - so Rangers would virtually ignore Scottish talent and import from abroad; thereby sparking-off an  "Import  or stagnate" recruitment process which, 27-years down the line, has seen us indeed stagnate and is only now, at an almost evolutionary pace, being reversed

Or, if we believe in miracles, we will hope that Leigh Griffiths, or Steven Naismith can, from somewhere, conjure-up the the individual skills of Gemmill, or Cooper, or Eddie Gray - the three men who scored the greatest individual goals ever scored by Scotsmen and bring down the Croats.

Aye, when you sign-on for the Tartan Army, you sign on for a life-time on the roller-coaster of football emotions.

That, and having the English for neighbours, is the price we pay for being born as one of the greatest wee people God ever put breath into, in the Greatest Wee Country On The Planet.

Development Plan - My Arse

MEDIA management - don't you just love it? Somebody at the SFA - 'Boyneband Broadfoot?' decides that a specific player will be put-up for media duties and the donkeys of the Scottish Football Writers Association dutifully troop down to the SFA's team camp, throw a series of easy questions at that day's patsy, then return to Glasgow to write-up their masterpieces - yawn.

Yesterday it was Russell Martin of Norwich City, or Russell Who? as he is known to the Tartan Army. Nae harm to the boay, he seems a nice guy, but, he and his type are the problem with Scottish internaitonal football today.

I would never decry the boy's ability. He is an English Premiership regular with his club, so, he has to be worth a shot. He is English-born, to a Scottish father and therefore qualifies through the Caledonian diaspora feeder stream. This is to his credit and an advantage, we suspect he might be able to trap a falling bag of cement, a feat which is beyond most home-grown SPL players. I also suspect, having had an English football education rather than a Scottish one, he just might be able to find a team-mate standing further than five yards away with a pass to feet, and might also have a professional attitude to his craft.

But, he came onto the SFA's radar as his club climbed through the ranks in the English League. His experience of European football at a meaningful level is almost non-existent and he missed-out on the international grounding of Under-21 honours.

This is my main beef with the Hampden blazers; they will squabble like feral cats for a place on the glamour trips - how many "blazers" have wangled their way onto this week's sun-kissed jolly to Croatia I wonder? But, when it comes to implementing a development plan for Scottish international football - "not my department Jimmy".

I look at the first Scotland "development" teams. The first Scotland B team, which drew 0-0 with France in Toulouse in 1952 was: Ledgerwood (Partick Thistle), Parker (Hearts), Cunningham, Docherty (both Preston North End), Davidson (Partick Thistle), Kelly (Blackpool), Buchanan (Clyde), Moir (Bolton Wanderers), Gardiner (East Fife), Gemmell (St Mirren), Ormond (Hibernian). The Doc, Hughie Kelly and Willie Moir had already been capped, Willie Cunningham, Jimmy Davidson, Ian Gardiner, Tommy Gemmell and Willie Ormond would all go on to win caps, indeed, Cunningham captained Scotland during the 1954 World Cup Finals.

The first Under-23 team, might have been hammered 6-0 by a Duncan Edwards-inspired England at Shawfield in 1955 but: Duff (Hearts), Parker (Falkirk), Caldow (Rangers), Mackay (Hearts), Baillie (Airdrie), Holmes (St Mirren), Leggat (Aberdeen), Walsh (Celtic), Hill (Clyde), Wishart (Aberdeen) and McParland (Partick Thistle) was an XI which included in Parker, Caldow, Mackay and Leggat four future Scotland players, two of whom, Eric Caldow and Dave Mackay captained the country and attained "legend" status - while Doug Baillie became a press box legend and the uncapped Bobby Wishart won Scottish League titles with two provincial sides, Aberdeen and Dundee.

The first Under-21 team, which drew 0-0 with Czechoslovakia in Pilson in 1976 read: Clark (Aberdeen), Burley (Ipswich), Albiston (Manchester United), Aitken (Celtic), Stanton (Hibernian), Burns (Celtic), Cooper (Clydebank), Wark (Ipswich), McNiven (Leeds United)/subProvan (Kilmarnock), Narey (Dundee United)/sub Muir (Hibernian) and Sturrock (Dundee United). Clark and Stanton were "over-age" players, in there to provide experience, but nine of the rest went on to achieve full international status; all nine had careers ranging from the very good to the legendary.

We used to develop internationalists through a Scotland system. Perhaps we could have done it better, but we did it. Today's Scotland team-building seems to consist of looking at a middling English club having a good run, finding-out if any of their players has a Scottish parent or grand-parent, then capping them. It's the internaitonal equivalent of what the clubs are doing, shopping in the football equivalent of Iceland or Farm Foods.

There doesn't appear to be a long-term plan. My God, the Murrayfield Mandarins, the sporting by-words for stick-in-the-mud, old-fashioned, we-don't-care-we-will-do-it-our-way, stick-in-the-mud traditionalism, are more-ready to encourage young players, be organised and progressive than their SFA cousins.

Would it not be better for us to pick an Under-23, B or Futures squad and send them off to play in the likes of South Africa, Australia, New Zealand or North America, places where the Caledonian Diaspora is well-established, to gain experience and bond, before coming back and being fed into the national team?

I realise the former colonial outposts in the southern hemisphere and the New World have come on a bit, while we've regressed, since the SFA sent a touring party unbeaten round the world in 1967. That touring squad was: Andy Anderson (Hearts), Willie Callaghan (Dunfermline Athletic), Eddie Colquhoun (West Brom), Jim Cruickshank (Hearts), Alec Ferguson (Dunfermline Athletic), Doug Fraser (West Brom), Joe Harper (Huddersfield Town), Harry Hood (Clyde), Bobby Hope (West Brom), Jim McCalliog (Sheffield Wednesday), Jackie McGrory and Tommy McLean (both Kilmarnock), Willie Morgan (Burnley), Andy Penman (Rangers), Harry Thomson (Burnley), Hugh Tinney (Bury), Jim Townsend (Hearts), Ian Ure  and Jonathan Woodward (both Arsenal).

Cruickshank, McCalliog, Penman, (one cap each), McGrory (three caps) and Ure (ten caps) were the capped players on that tour; Callaghan, Colquhoun, Fraser, Harper, Hope, McLean and Morgan were subsequently capped, Harry Hood ought to have been while Ferguson has done not bad in the intervening years.

Berti Vogts, having seen the German FA successfully use B, or as they dubbed them "Futures" internationals as a means of bridging the gap between Under-21 and Full internationals, introduced such a stepping-stone when he was Scotland boss. But, gradually since Berti's departure, enthusiasm for such games have declined and Scotland has been the poorer for it.

Better to find-out if a player has got what it takes in a B international than in the cauldron of a World Cup qualifier - even one which means nothing to us, since we're out anyway.

AM I the only one who thinks a British FA, with the Celtic fringes throwing-in their lot with The Common Enemy, as has been suggested this week, would be a bad thing for Scottish football?

Thanks for that support - this has to be a non-starter.

101-Up And On This Evidence - More To Follow

BACK IN the late 1980s, following their unprecedented and since unemulated run of three Scottish Junior Cup wins in a row, the then Auchinleck Talbot committee had a special niche built into the lounge bar of the Talbot Social Club, adjacent to the pavilion at Beechwood Park.

I cautioned them at that time that this maybe wasn't the wisest use of resources; this niche was specifically built to house the Scottish Junior Cup, no other trophy fits the bespoke space. I suggested the Talbot run HAD to end, and while never doubting that they would win it again, I fancied there would be a few seasons during which the empty space would mock their preseumptions.

And so it transpired, however, the modern-day Talbot committee, which includes the likes of secretary Henry Dumigan and treasurer Davie Loy, who have been there since the first great, will not have to worry about a void taunting them for the next 12 months, after their tam's win over Linlithgow Rose, at Livingston, yesterday.

The better team won, more-emphatically than the 1-0 score-line might indicate and, truthfully, it will be very hard for any team, even Linlithgow, to wrestle the trophy off Tucker Sloan's men next season.

The final was scrappy, but, it was a good day out - particularly for the Talbot Taliban. Mind you, as someone who saw his first Junior Cup Final back in 1956, I reckon this particular grade of football has never been the same since time-honoured "Gerrintaerum" tactics were banished, in the face of opposition from MMA cage fighting. There was one three-man "stoat-up" on Sunday which had we older afficiandos smiling, but, generally today, Junior football is about as entertaining as watching an SPL game.

 I was discussing events today with some junior fanatics, who were relishing a not bad weekend for junior football in Cumnock and Doon Valley: Talbot won the BIG one, the Scottish, on Sunday; Glenafton had won the next-big one, the West of Scotland Cup, on the Sunday; while, to loud cheering from the surrounding villages, Scumnock were beaten in the final of the Ayrshire Cup on the Friday night - "the best result of the weekend", according to one Glenafton fanatic.

The same guy, came-up with a plausible means of getting round the convention whereby the Scottish Junior Cup Final has become, over many years, a disappointment to the cognoscenti.

The occasion, the stress, the fact the game is played on an all-seated senior ground, which doesn't allow the freedom to wander about and generally abuse the referee and opposition, is reckoned to reduce the junior fan's enjoyment of what should, win or lose, be the biggest day of his club's season.

"Why not play the final in one of the several well-appointed junior grounds, such as Pollok's" my friend suggested.

"I t isn't as if the Junior Cup Final will fill a senior ground - the bigger junior grounds can easily accommodate five-to-seven thousand "real" junior fans, standing and enjoying themselves" he continued.

"There were only about 1500 fans at our final on Saturday, but, inside Newlandsfield Park, they created a Hell of an atmosphere.

Of course, the Hampden blazers, the sponsors and the hangers-on will have to be taken care of and not every junior ground is equipped to do this, but, while the "prawn sandwich" brigade have to be looked after, the real fans, who follow their clubs everywhere should take priority. I think my friend from the Glen has a point.

Sunday's trophy win was Talbot's 101st, not bad for a wee team from East Ayrshire.

This Is A Big Game - Don't Miss It

TODAY'S sermon concerns not football, but Fitba' - the real thing, red in tooth and claw, or, as it is better known: Scottish Junior Football.

Tomorrow afternoon at the ground currently named The Braidwood Motors Stadium, Livingston - Almondvale to the rest of us, Auchinleck Talbot and Linlithgow Rose will do battle for one of the most-magnificent trophies in the game: the Emirates Scottish Junior Cup; a wonderful physical embodiment of the Victorian silversmith's art, alongside which even the mighty European Cup itself is a big long drip of plainness.

After this pish we have endured in Scotland this season, tomorrow's match ought to be back page news, because, this one matters - a great deal.

The two best teams in the Scottish senior game haven't met in the national final since 2002, when Rangers edged-out Celtic by the odd goal in five; indeed, with Rangers paying the price for their sins in SFL3, in this season now in its death throes, the big question has been: could Celtic lose their focus often enough to make things interesting? In the end, Neil Lennon got his men focussed enough, often enough, that interest levels rarely rose above minimal.

In truth it was a wee bit that way in the Juniors; Talbot cruised unbeaten through the West Superleague, amassing 62 of a possible 66 points to win the title by 23 clear points.

In the East, although their league campaign remains as yet unfinished, Rose have been almost as dominant, unbeaten with one fixture to fulfill, 20-points clear at the top, simply the best.

Rose have been equally-ruthless in the cups. The West Lothian side has put together a 50-game unbeaten run, stretching back to March 2012. Talbot, like Celtic, have had the occasional hic-cup. Their loss to Wishaw in the West of Scotland Cup was akin to Berwick Rangers beating The Rangers; a couple of local cups were lost in the lottery of penalty kicks, while the neighbouring club we in Ayrshire love to refer to as 'Scumnock' put a smile on their own injury-interrupted and uneven season by edging out the Talbot in a local cup-tie last month.

Thus, for the first time since that old fox Willie Knox plotted the undoing of Pollok, at Hampden in 1986 to kick-off that unique run of three Scottish Cup wins in successive years, Talbot will go into the Scottish Junior Cup Final as underdogs.

Talbot and Linlithgow have dominated the old trophy this millennium. Rose won the Cup in 2002 - inflicting Talbot's first Scottish Junior Cup final loss in seven finals to do so; they won it again in 2007 and in 2010. Talbot re-modelled themselves after that 2002 reverse to lift the trophy in 2006 and again in 2011.

Last year, at the same Livingston venue, they were perhaps a tad over-confident in facing Shotts Bon Accord, the Lanarkshire side rose better to the big day and scored a surprise but deserved win - the need to make amends for that is a huge contributory factor in Talbot being back for their third straight final.

Who will win? You have to accept that, after winning in 2002, and having been the club which ended Talbot's 1986/87/88 run of wins by knocking them out in the fourth round in 1989, Rose will start as favourites.

I honestly wouldn't like to try to separate two very evenly-matched sides. As ever in cup finals, it will come down to which team wants it more. However, since both teams know only one way to play - going forward, this one just might live up to the hype and be a classic.

If you cannot get to Livingston, the game will be live on BBC Alba, kick-off 4.05pm.

IN PREVIEWING the big game, I spoke to one of the Good Guys in the hierarchy of Scottish football - SJFA president George Morton.

Morton is that rarity - a decent 'Scumnockian'. As a "daft" young man he signed for Talbot, who back then did a lap of honour if they won a corner, and on his debut, against 'Scumnock', he scored a hat-trick; 'Scumnock' still won, 8-4 or something.

That night, he got back to the family home to find his clothes and personal belongings neatly stacked-up on the front step, and his father standing there with a stark choice: leave Talbot or leave the house. George left Talbot and has been secretary of 'Scumnock' for 37-years; this has been a thankless task, given that for most of that time the 'Scumnock' committee - apart from George, was made-up of the finalists in the Scumnock Village Idiot of The Year competition - which is an extremely difficult title to win.

The winner gets to be 'Scumnock' Juniors' president and one guy held that title for over 20-years.

So, Mr Morton has suffered for his football, but, in spite of the many blows he has suffered, he remains a true gentleman. This week, I asked him about the current banishment to the fringes of the Junior clubs and his thoughts on the on-going pyramid proposals.

As I felt he might, George reckoned only a few Junior clubs will be interested in the possibility of climbing the pyramid to the senior ranks.

"The costs involved will be prohibitive", he explained.

"They will need to upgrade their grounds and while some of the top clubs would not find that too-onerous, others will struggle to install floodlights or disabled toilets. Also, a lot of clubs are quite happy to play away locally, local rivalries are hugely-important in the juniors; the costs involved in travelling all over Scotland will put a lot of clubs off."

He sees regionalisation as being key to a pyramid's success, and reckons such a move would also benefit some of the perennial strugglers in SFL2 and SFL3.

"The top junior clubs are better than most of the East of Scotland and South of Scotland "senior" clubs," Morton believes.

"There is no benefit to be had from the likes of Talbot or Linlithgow playing these clubs regularly, they will not get any better doing so. Yes, we need re-organisation down as far as the Juniors and the non-SFL "senior" clubs, but, it has to be the right re-organisation and it has to be managed properly.

"At the end of the day, given a choice between beating each other regularly and beating the likes of Spartans, or Whitehill Welfare, good clubs though they are, most of our fans, or Talbot's fans will, I am sure, settle for keeping the local rivalry going."

This is the drawback to promoting change in Scottish football. At the end of the day, we perhaps like our 21st century version of the old Clan Wars - local football.