Wanted - A Missionary In God's County

BACK IN the dog days of the last century, I could claim, with justification, that I was: “The last neutral in Ayrshire Football.” As the national newspapers' go-to freelance sports writer in God's County, I would spend one Saturday in the press box at Rugby Park, the next at Somerset Park. At the time, it mattered not a jot, since the clubs were invariably in different divisions.

On the odd occasions when I did have to cover what I called: “The Second Ayrshire Derby” - the Premier such fixture, of course, concerns Auchinleck Talbot and Cumnock Juniors – it was known among my fellow scribes that I leant towards the blue and white half of the County; however, I was never accused of not giving The Honest Men an honest critique. Indeed at a time when Killie often struggled to win a corner, watching Brian McLaughlin creating chances for the likes of Henry Templeton, John Sludden and Tommy Walker was often more fun than listening to the chants of “Sack the Board” 14 miles up the A77.

So, I am somewhat sad to see Lee Bullen parting company with Ayr United. I thought Bullen did well last season, however, professional football is a results-driven business, and the results this season have not matched that of last, so, as inevitably happens in the game, Bullen's time at Somerset Park is over.

Now, the question is – who will his successor be? It's not as if the job is of such a high profile that we will see days or weeks of speculation in the media as to who will get the gig, so I will keep my powder dry, although, there is one name, which I am sure we will see the Glasgow-based fitba hacks running with, which has me saying: “Please, not him”. No names – no pack drill.

From my position, as a proud Ayrshireman who would love to see BOTH of the County teams in the top flight, I would love to see the United board go for a young coach, who is prepared to give the many talented young players in God's County a chance.

For instance, in the past couple of weeks, United has parted company with Fin and Ollie Ecrepont, brothers from a well-known Ayr sporting family, who have won Scotland age group honours. Youngsters such as these should be given every chance to learn, grow and succeed at United, rather than being allowed to depart to lesser clubs.

It used to be that United had a hard core of locals in the team – I would like to see whoever gets the gig go back to that practice, I mean, talent in Ayrshire didn't dry-up when the likes of Robert Connor, Stevie Nicol or Alan McInally, three United youngsters who went on to win full caps, left Somerset Park.

Mind you, the abuse which Bullen has suffered from some of the club's supporters does these so-called fans no favours. I was speaking to one United-supporting friend of mine this week, who admits, he has only been to three games at what we Killie fans dub: “The Piggery” this season. He tells me, he has been sorely scunnered at some of the abuse being heaped on Bullen.

It's not as if United has been a top division club of late. That's the trouble with Scottish football, the pyramid has four “Senior” tiers:

1. The Premiership – 12 teams

2. The Championship – 10 teams

3. League One – 10 teams

4. League Two – 10 teams

In reality, I reckon these tiers should read:

1. The Old Firm

2. Hearts, Aberdeen, Hibs, Kilmarnock

3. The rest of the Premiership plus Dundee United

4. Everyone else

Until the “Diddy Teams” grow a pair, work together to curtail the power and inluence of “The Bigot Brothers” and level the playing field, football in Scotland will continue to struggle.

I HAVE never got into Women's Football. I am not one of the dinosaurs who insists the fairer sex (or is it gender these days) shouldn't be allowed to play; also, I hold in tremendous respect the great Scottish ladies such as Elsie Cook, Edna Nellis, Rose Reilly and Julie Fleeting – and that's just the Ayrshire greats – Kim Little, Jen Beattie and Caroline Weir, who have illuminated the game, but, somehow I cannot get as worked-up about our Women's team as I can for the Men's one.

But, and I admit it is a low bar, watching the SWPL highlights show, on BBC Shortbread on Monday night, I thought the great Julie and Jane Lewis did a better job of talking about the games than most of the members of the Lap Top Loyal and the Celtic Family we are normally exposed to. The fitba wasn't that bad either.

Speaking of this, I have seen the national BBC bosses taking heavy flak for the way they are loading the football programmes with female talking heads, some of whom give the impression they are only there because they are female – bringing little or nothing positive to the party. Some critics are suggesting its diversity and equality gone crazy – they may have a point.

When it comes to sports presenters and commentators from the women's side, perhaps we Scots have been spoilt, by the all-round excellence of the likes of Sally McNair, Hazel Irvine, Jill Douglas, Lee McKenzie, Moira Gordon and Alison Walker. All of these ladies could hold their own with anyone, and were a lot better than some of the male talking heads they worked alongside.

 

Der Kaiser Has Passed

THE DEATH of Franz Beckenbauer demonstrates the major difference between Rugby Union and Football. In the handling game, former players are encouraged to get involved in the game's administration, once they hang up their boots; in football, money talks, it is the money men who own and run clubs, few of whom ever played, who get to make the big decisions.

Much of the publicity around Beckenbauer in his playing days, certainly in this country, centred around his supposed rivalry with Bobby Charlton. In the 1966 World Cup Final, German manager Helmut Schoen was so afraid of what Charlton might do to his side, he sacrificed Beckenbauer's attacking prowess – which had played a major role in getting Germany to the final – and instead instructed him to man-mark Charlton. In the end, this meant neither player played a significant role in that game.

The 1966 World Cup Final
 

Four years later, in Mexico, with England ahead, Sir Alf Ramsey took Charlton off, to save him for the semi-final. This move freed Beckenbauer from his marking role, to influence matters further forward, with the result, Germany came from behind to win.

In the UK, it is doubtful if Beckenbauer, once he hung up his boots, would have been allowed to have been anything more than an influential club manager. While Charlton, after a breif and unsuccessful spell as manager at Preston North End, had to be content with an ambassadorial role with Manchester United, Beckenbauer was able to move upstairs to a meaningful managerial role with Bayern Munich, and he was certainly far-more than a mere figurehead when he fronted Germany's successful bid to host the 2008 World Cup.

He was a major figure in the German game, both on and off the field.

As a youngster, he played up front – his intention, to play for Munich 1860, back then THE club in Bavaria, where Bayren were, to use a modern phrase: “the noisy neighbours.”

Then, aged 12, a Munich 1860 player slapped him during a game, end of love affair, and when Bayern came calling, he signed. His timing was spot-on, as Bayern climbed over their city rivals to become Number One in Bavaria, then in Germany as a whole.

By the 1966 World Cup, he, at just 20, was already a key man in the German midfield, a box-to-box midfielder, who also chipped in with some vital goals. He was still a midfielder in 1970, where his courage in playing on with a dislocated shoulder against Italy in the semi-final almost inspired a surprise come back for the handicapped Germans.

Four years on, and with the Germans hosting the event, Beckenbauer had morphed into 'Der Kaiser' – the on-field fulcrum of the national side. He had moved back to central defence, where he reinvigorated the centre-half role. Prior to the change in the Offside Law in the 1920s, the centre-half had been an attacking player, then clubs such as Arsenal and Rangers pulled their centre-half back to be an out and out ddefender.

Beckenbauer could defend, but, the instnicts of a midfielder were still there and he was more than capable of bringing the ball out from the back and creating – just as the pre-1920s centre-halves had done.

He is credited with getting the team back on-course, after they lost to East Germany in the group games in 1974, before again inspiring them to their come-from-behind win over Johan Cruyff and his great Netherlands team in the 1974 final.

It helped, of course, that the victorious German team included some wonderful players – the other Bayern stars, goalkeeper Sepp Maier, left-back Paul Breitner, striker Gerd Muller, and Uli Hoeness; the Borussia Monchengladbach contingent, such as Berti Vogts and Rainer Bonhof and Cologne's Wolfgang Overath.

This was a golden era for German football, Beckenbauer was a key man as the Bayern club lifted their first European trophy, beating Rangers in the 1967 Cup-Winners Cup final. But, greater success would come in the next decade, as Bayern took a hat-trick of European Cup wins in 1974-75-76, Germany, European Champions in 1972, lost the 1976 final on penalties, before winning again in 1980.

Beckenbauer wasn't involved in that 1980 final. He had, in 1977, allegedly to play off a huge tax bill in Germany, signed for New York Cosmos, where he linked up with Pele. He loved his three years in New York, before returning to Germany, to win one further Bundesliga title, with Hamburg, in 1982. He went back for one last season in New York, then retired from playing.

In 1984 Die Mannschaft – the German national football team – were in the doldrums, so, breaching the normal system, of appointing a coach who had come through the regimented ranks of German coaching, the German FA invited Beckenbauer to take over the national side.

He got them to the 1986 World Cup Final, where they encountered a force of nature called Diego Maradona and lost 2-3. Four years later, in Rome, Germany had their revenge and Beckenbauer joined Mario Zagallo, who also died this week, in winning the World Cup as a player and a manager.

There was a brief an unhappy spell at Marseilles, where the French players seemed unwilling to work like Germans, before he returned for more success as manager at Bayern, before moving upstairs, to eventually become Honorary President of the club, a position he still held at his death.

He was vice president of the German FA, when he secured the 2006 World Cup for his nation,

Beckenbauer married three times, had five children, four of whom survive him, while there were also rumours of a sixth child, born before his first marriage.

He redefined the centre-half's role, he led from the front and tasted a great deal of success over his long career. However, when it comes to discussions about the greatest footballers of all-time, it is the midfield play-makers and the strikers, the genius dribblers who dominate the argument. Beckenbauer is perhaps the only defender who gets a mention – although, the question is: was he really a defender, or simply a unique player who put his individual stamp on the game?

Prior to Beckenbauer, perhaps only Fritz Walter or Uwe Seller are mentioned as the greatest German footballer, after Beckenbauer – there is no discussion – that role is his.

 

Rangers' Problems, You Need A Heart Of Stone Not To Laugh

THOSE OF US who support one of Scotland's 40 “Diddy” senior teams – i.e. those clubs who are all about football rather than keeping 17^th century Irish history alive in the 21^st century – we rather enjoy it when one or other of the Bigot Brothers is feeling slighted or wronged. At the moment, it is the blue half of the duo which is spitting the dummy and chucking the toys out of the pram. But, fear not Rangers fans, ere long it will be the other lot who are moaning when things are not going their way.

Instead of fulminating about what they didn't get, maybe Philippe Clement and his coaching staff should be sorting-out the deficiencies which saw the likes of Cyriel Dessers managed to miss a chance you would expect a player who cost upwards of £4 million to convert.

The fact is, moaning about a penalty they didn't get has allowed Clement and his media cheerleaders to avoid the facts:

• Rangers were a poor second to Celtic in the game

• The majority of his squad, for all the good work he has done in improving their form since becoming manager, are simply not Rangers Class

There are deficiences too in the Celtic team. I have never, for instance, believed Brendan Rodgers is a Celtic Class Manager. But, while Celtic can be slipshod when playing one of the Diddy teams, when it mattered – they stood up to be counted, where one or two in the other team didn't.

It is still early days, but, since they won the game, I haven't seen evidence of too-many Bears complaining about Kilmarnock getting that penalty at Ibrox on Tuesday. It would be Killie, did you know, that club, in the 1980s, went ten years without getting a penalty awarded them at all.

Mind you, you have to be in the opposition's box to get a penalty, and the Killie sides back then didn't do this too often, I seem to recall.

I can just visualise the conversation between John Beaton and the VAR team on Tuesday – VAR: “You'll need to have a look at this one John, looks like clear hand-ball.”

JB: “OK boys, but, remember where we are, this is a tricky one.”

VAR: “Usually we wouldn't bother you John, but, Wee Peter has been stirring things up at Hampden, and we've been telt tae make a statement; so, in a first for VAR – the instruction is, penalty against Rangers.”

JB: “Ok, but FFS boys, my life will be a misery doon the ludge at next week's meeting.”

ONE OR TWO of the great brains in SFWA – the Scottish Football Writers Association will be sorely hurt, should the High Heid Yins at Pittodrie back Manager Barry Robson for the remainder of the season. Because the fans with laptops are growing restless at the fact Barry has not been sacked yet.

These 21^st century Tricotouses are desperate to be able to write fiction about who will replace Barry, some will not be happy until the axe falls. Don't they realise, on current form, Aberdeen have actually got the fourth-best record in the top-flight?

The current form table reads:

1. Hearts – 13 points from 15

2. Celtic – 12 points from 15

3. Rangers – 12 points from 15

4. Aberdeen – 9 points from 15

5. Kilmarnock – 8 points from 15.

Mind you, hope springs eternal for the doom-sayers of the mainstream media. Aberdeen have to travel to play Clyde in their next game, in the Scottish Cup, and while the Bully Wee might be struggling at the foot of League Two, six points adrift and favourites to maybe drop into the Lowland League, Ian McColl must surely fancy his team's chances of upsetting the Dons on 19 January. That result, if it happens, will surely give the lap top warriors the ammunition they need to up the demand for Robson's head.

STILL WITH Les Tricotouses of the SFWA, Fabio Silva's 19 minute cameo at Ibrox on Tuesday garnered rave reviews from The Lap Top Loyal. Clearly the on-loan man from Wolves has a bit of a swagger about him.

So, how does this play in respect of Les Tricotouses' campaign to get Lawrence Shankland transferred to Rangers? I am on-record as wishing the Big Two would recruit more Scottish players and then play them, but, the bare-faced way their media cheer leaders are trying to get Shankland moved does grate somewhat.

Mind you, the fact the High heid Yins down Edmiston Drive would rather buy flashy continental marques than good, solid, ahme-grown talent might mean, they will look for another non-Scot to play up front, rather than a proven SPFL goal scorer.

This has been the pattern since 1986 and I don't see it changing any time soon.

FINALLY – Rangers seemingly want Willie Collum banned after his VAR decision not to award them a penalty at Celtic Park. Michty Me, there's gratitude for you, all those honest mistakes, benefitting Rangers, he has made over the years.

Willie and his VAR team may or may not have got it wrong in deciding Rangers weren't getting that penalty. Hey that's life; poor old Willie has had pelters in the past, so. I don't suppose he will lose too-much sleep about pelters for one which benefitted Celtic.

Of course, being awarded a penalty and scoring it, that's two different matters. Everyone in the blue camp will of course be convinced, James Tavernier would, had the penalty been given, have converted it. Tavernier is a good penalty taker, he has an 80.4% success rate from the penalty mark – a wee bit short of wee Johnny Hubbard's 95.5% benchmark, but, he's not 100% certain to score.

But, with regard to the Ibrox indignation, whatever happened to the old Rangers virtues of dignity, in triumph or defeat? It seems the old Bill Struth approach of: “We welcome the chase” - the current custodians of the club appear to have an overwhelming sense of entitlement, a case of: “We are Rangers, we must always win.” Sad, very-sad, and further proof of the enduring wisdom of “Dan” Archer.