Socrates MacSporran

Socrates MacSporran
No I am not Chick Young, but I can remember when Scottish football was good

Wednesday, 23 April 2025

Scottish Goalkeepers Are Much Put-Upon

AS PROMISED – I here return to one of my pet subjects: Scottish goalkeepers, a much-maligned, not to say mis-understood species of footballer. I have of late been forensically examining the record books and can now reveal all.

Since the first international, in 1872, 110 men have back-stopped the Scottish national side. Their international careers have lasted varying times – from Cammy Bell's 22 minutes to Jim Leighton's 91 games. How do you collate and compare such a divergence of game time? What are the criteria – other than personal opinion, for comparing the likes of Robert Gardner – number one on the list, with Zander Clark – number 110?

On games played, your list would be different from goals per game conceded; while going by the goalie's gold standard – clean sheets as a percentage of games – you get another list. Perhaps the easiest method would be to adopt the National Hockey League's measurement for ice hockey net-minders: percentage of shots saved against shots faced. Sadly, we do not have, even today, that statistic available to us.

So, here are a few lists to mull over:

Clean Sheets

First-up we have what I call: the 100-percentres, the goalkeepers who never let-in a single goal in a Scotland international. Each of these players only ever won one cap, but kept a clean sheet, these men are:

  1. John Inglis (Kilmarnock Athletic) v Ireland 1884

  2. Robert MacFarlane (Morton) v Wales 1896

  3. William Howden (Partick Thistle) v Ireland 1905

  4. William Muir (Dundee) v Ireland 1907

  5. Jock Ewart (Bradford City) v England 1921

  6. Willie Waugh (Heart of Midlothian) v Czechoslovakia 1937

  7. Dave Cumming (Middlesbrough) v England 1938

  8. Jonathan Gould (Celtic) v Lithuania 1999

  9. Cammy Bell (Kilmarnock) v Faroe Islands 2010

They are followed by those goalkeepers who kept a clean sheet in better than every other game – posting a 50% to 99.9% clean sheets record. These players are:

  1. Alexander McGeoch OBE (Dumbreck) (3/4) - 75% clean sheets

  2. John Thomson (Celtic) (3/4) – 75% clean sheets

  3. Bob Parlane (Vale of Leven) (2/3) – 66.7% clean sheets

  4. Dan McArthur (Celtic) (2/3) – 66.7% clean sheets

  5. Scott Bain (Celtic) (2/3) – 66.7% clan sheets

  6. Bill Harper (Hibs, Arsenal) (6/11) – 54.5% clan sheets

  7. David Harvey (Leeds United) (8/16) – 50% clean sheets

  8. Jim Herriot (Birm City, Hibs) (4/8) – 50% clean sheets

  9. Archie Rowan (Caledonians, Queen's Park (1/2) – 50% clean sheets

  10. Joe McWattie (Queen's Park) (1/2) – 50% clean sheets

  11. Bill Robb (Rangers, Hibs) (1/2) – 50% clean sheets

  12. Willie Fraser (Sunderland) (1/2) – 50% clean sheets

  13. Harery Thomson (Burnley) (1/2) – 50% clean sheets

  14. Ernie McGarr (Aberdeen) (1/2) – 50% clean sheets

Next up, we have the record-breakers, the men who in sequence held the record for the most appearances in goal for Scotland, these men are:

Record Holders

  1. Robert Gardner (Queen's Park and Clydesdale) – 1872-1878 - 5 caps

  2. Jimmy McAulay (Dumbarton) – 1883-1887 – 8 caps*

  3. Harry Rennie (Hearts and Hibs) – 1900-1908 – 13 caps

  4. Jimmy Brownlie (Third Lanark) – 1909 – 1914 – 16 caps

  5. Jimmy Cowan (Morton) – 1948-1952 – 25 caps

  6. Bill Brown (Dundee and Tottenham Hotspur) – 1958-1965 – 28 caps

  7. Alan Rough (Partick Thistle and Hibernian) – 1976–1986 – 53 caps

  8. Jim Leighton (Aberdeen, Manchester Utd, Hibs) – 1982–1998 – 91 caps

The asterik after Jimmy McAulay's name signifies his unique place in Scottish football history. He actually won nine caps, his first was at centre forward, scoring in a 5-0 demolition of Wales in 1882. He then switched to goalkeeper to win his eight further caps. He captained Scotland to victories over England and Wales in 1887, before going off to work in Burma. He later returned to Dumbarton, where he was appointed an honorary Sheriff Substitute.

The next list shows those goalkeepers who played in more than one international but were beaten at less than a goal per game. I list them in rising order of goals lost, fewest to most conceded per game:

Less than a goal a game conceded

  1. Alexander McGeoch OBE (Dumbreck) (4/1) 1876-1877 – 0.25 gpg

  2. John Thomson (Celtic) (4/1) 1930-1931 – 0.25 gpg

  3. Dan McArthur (Celtic) (3/1) 1895-1899 – 0.33 gpg

  4. Joe McWattie (Queen's Park) (2/1) 1901 – 0.5 gpg

  5. Harry Thomson (Burnley) (2/1) 1967 World tour – 0.5 gpg

  6. David Harvey (Leeds United) (16/10) 1972-1976 – 0.625 gpg

  7. Henry Smith (Heart of Midlothian) (3/2) 1988-1992 – 0.67 gpg

  8. Neil Alexander (Cardiff City) (3/2) 2006 – 0.67 gpg

  9. Matt Gilks (Blackpool) (3/2) 2012 – 2013 – 0.67 gpg

  10. Jimmy Brownlie (Third Lanark) (16/11) 1909-1914 – 0.69 gpg

  11. Bill Harper (Hibs and Arsenal) (11/8) 1923-1926 – 0.73 gpg

  12. Jim Leighton (Ab, Man U, Hibs) (91/72) 1982-1998 – 0.79 gpg

  13. Andy Goram (OldAth,Hibs,Rang) (43/35) 1985-1998 – 0.81 gpg

  14. Geordie Gillespie (Rang,Q.Park) (7/6) 1880-1891 – 0.86 gpg

  15. Billy Thomson (St Mirren) (7/6) 1980 – 1983 – 0.86 gpg

  16. Jimmy McAulay (Dumbarton) (8/7) 1883-1887 – 0.875 gpg

  17. Harry Rennie (HOM,HIbs) (13/12) 1900-1908 – 0.92 gpg

  18. Craig Gordon (HOM,Sund,Celtic) (81/77) 2004-2025– 0.95gpg

So, who has been our best-ever goalkeeper? Given how we Scots do love an argument, if you asked the 50,000-plus attendance at a Hampden international, you might well get 50,000 different answers. However, if you look at the above listings, some names do keep appearing.

For instance, for all the myths surrounding his tragically short life, and the manner of his death, the above lists demonstrate – John Thomson must have been an exceptional goalkeeper. We can only wonder what figures he might have posted had he lived and played longer.

Jim Leighton's records may never be broken, although, it must be said, if Craig Gordon does not soldier-on to beat Leighton's number of caps, then it will be down to injuries. For Leighton to post a less than a goal a game conceded over such a lengthy career is exceptional, while the fact that statistically Andy Goram has run him so close shows how fortunate we were to have both of them playing at roughly the same time.

David Harvey is another great Scottish goalkeeper whom we should cherish. Less than a goal per international conceded, plus being voted the top goalkeeper at the 1974 World Cup shows how good he was.

The other goalkeepers in our list of record-holders all deserve consideration in the G.O.A.T – greatest of all time – conversation. For instance, in spite of his club manager, Bill Nicholson's efforts to piss-off the SFA Selectors, by refusing to release him for international duty, Bill Brown still set a then appearances record for a goalkeeper, while Jimmy Cowan, the man he displaced, alone among Scottish goalkeepers has a Wembley win over England credited to him – the 3-1 win under the twin towers in 1949 is still referred to as: Jimmy Cowan's Match, for the way he defied a first-half English onslaught.

Years later, demonstrating how he had got used to Canadian speech patterns during his many years in that country, Sammy Cox, who played left-back that day, told me: “Jimmy's performance was the finest display of net-minding I have ever seen.” The England forward line he confined to a 75th minute Jackie Milburn goal was: Stanley Matthews, Stan Mortensen, Milburn, Stan Pearson and Tom Finney – no mugs in that quintet.

I have to confess to a personal bias towards Alan Rough, because he's a mate and for all the often unfounded criticism he endured during his career, he has remained one of the nicest, most-genuine people you could wish to meet. His years as manager of Glenafton Athletic was a magical time to be around this wee Ayrshire former mining village.

Finally, it goes without saying, statistically, our worst goalkeeper was Frank Haffey, but that cannot take away from the fact – he wasn't our worst player at Wembley, on 15 April, 1961. Others in that team played worse, and didn't get (figuratively) banished to Botany Bay. Big Frank has unfairly shouldered the blame for that catastrophy for the past 64 years – but, that is perhaps the lot of the Scottish goalkeeper – to carry the can for the failings of the outfield ten.


 

Monday, 21 April 2025

Spin Doctoring Plus Statistics - Wonderful Stuff

THAT GRATE ENGLISHMAN Winston Spencer Churchill (well he grated against the Scots, Irish, Welsh, Indians, South Africans plus a few other “lesser” nations) is credited with the remark: “There are lies, damned lies – and statistics”. So, if you're a fan of old Winnie, perhaps best not to read on, because I am going to be quoting some statistics to you.

These days, we Scots gaze nostalgically back to the supposed “Golden Years” of the 1970s and 1980s, when the National side had a season ticket to the World Cup Finals, and our club sides were forces in Europe.

If you're in this club, I've got news for you – we were shite back then; not as shite as we were in the early years of the present century, but, still shite. I arrived at this not-so-surprising revelation when doing some research into the National tam's wins/losses record since we invented International Football in 1872. I looked at the result of every Scotland game over these 152 and a bit years, collated the results by the decade and came up with a league table of how Scotland has fared over the history of the International Game.

I awarded three points for a win, one for a draw, and ranked each decade by the percentage of games we won in that period. Here is the league table: by decade, games played, won, drawn or lost, percentage of wins, percentage of points won.

1880s: p 26 - w 22 - d 3 - l 1  -  games won 84.6% : points won 88.5%

1920s: p 33 - w 25 - d 5 - l 3  -  games won 75.8% : points won 80.8%

1870s: p 12 - w 8 - d 2 - l 2  -  games won 66.7% : points won 72.2%

1890s: p 30 - w 19 - d 5 - l 6  -  games won 63.3% : points won 68.9%

1930s: p 40 - w 23 - d 7 - l 10  -  games won 57.5% : points won 63.3%

1960s: p 69 - w 37 - d 12 - l 20  -  games won 53.6% : points won 59.4%

1900s: p 30 - w 15 - d 7 - l 8  -  games won 50% : points won 57.8% 


1940s: p 19 - w 9 - d 3 - l 7  -  games won 47.4% : points won 52.6%

1910s: p 15 - w 7 - d 6 - l 2  -  games won 46.7% : points won 60%

2010s: p 83 - w 38 - d 12 - l 33  - game won 45.8% : points won 50.6%

1950s: p 68 - w 30 - d 17 - l 21  -  games won 44.1% : points won 52.5%

1990s: p 91 - w 40 - d 23 - l 28  - games won 43.9% : points won 52.4%

2020s: p 57 - w 25 - d 12 - l 20  -  games won 43.9% : points won 50.9%

1980s: p 87 - w 35 - d 24 - l 28  -  games won 40.2% : points won 49.4%

1970s: p 89 - w 35 - d 19 - l 35  - games won 39.3% : points won 46.4%

2000s: p 82 - w 29 - d 21 - l 32  -games won 35.4% : points won 39.8%


You may notice, we have only posted a record of breaking even in matches won, or better, over 7 of the 16 decades. In fact, our game has been in decline since the 1880s, the final decade of Football as an amateur game.

More worryingly, our worst decades have been those since we handed over control of the Scotland team, from the butchers, bakers and candle-stick makers of the SFA Selection Committee, to a full-time. Paid National Team Manager.

It gets worse for our football professionals. Bobby Brown, when he was appointed in 1967, was the first Scotland Manager who also picked the team. Prior to his appointment, while the Manager had some input, the team was picked by the Selection Committee. Brown made a terrific start, beating England at Wembley, then taking a less-than-stellar group of players on an unbeaten World Tour. Since then, we've been going downhill faster than a Jamaican bobsleigh team.

Using the same template as above, our record under Selectors and Team Managers is:

Selectors:

  • p 325 : w 188 : d 62 : l 75 : 57.8% wins : 64.2% points won

Managers:

  • p 511 : w 214 : d 116 : l 181 : 41.9% wins : 49.4% points won

OK, I know the Football landscape has changed greatly since even 1967, we now compete on a European rather than the British Isles stage where we strutted our stuff during the greater part of the reign of the Selection Committee.

Today, it is very-hard for a Scottish player to even get a game with one of the “Diddy Teams” in Scotland, but the fact that even the part-time amateurs of the old Selection Committees could pick national teams, which “player-managers” such as Jimmy McMullan or George Young could lead to wins over good, managed sides, while today, for all the good work of Stevie Clarke, we struggle, has to be a concern, somewhere, if not apparently along the sixth floor management corridor at Hampden.

But: “facts are chiels that wanna ding” and the facts are:

We are, under the omnipotent control of a National Team Manager, winning 28% fewer games and accruing 23% fewer points than when picking the team was down to a Selection Committee.

I have heard of managed decline, but, this is ridiculous.

The old Blazerati did manage Scottish Football rather well – from their point of view, from 1929, when we first ventured outwith the British Isles, they managed to mostly avoid the European heavyweights, disregarded the rest of the world, and persuaded the fans we were still good.

For instance, of the 13 nations who competed in the inaugural World Cup, in 1930, we had only played – and beaten – France, who finished seventh.

Of the 16 nations who contested the 1934 World Cup, we had been hammered by winners Italy in 1931, lost and drew with Austria, who finished fourth, lost to seventh-placed Switzerland and beaten ninth-placed France.

Four years later, 15 nations convened in France, and, of course, the four Home Nations were still above that sort of competitive World cup nonsense, Scotland had, however, beaten tenth-placed Germany and fifth-placed Czechoslovakia, in friendlies.

Fast forward to 1950, when we not only entered, but qualified – except, we said we would only go as British Champions and Roy Bentley's goal at Hampden denied us that chance.

Of the 13 nations who did go, the only ones we had faced in a post-war game were Switzerland, who finished sixth in Brazil and had beaten us in Berne in 1948 and England, who finished eighth in Brazil and who had of course forced our non-appearance by winning at Hampden. We had also played a USA team in what is – to the Americans a full internationa, to us a non-cap game, in 1949. After beating England in Brazil, they finished tenth.

Finally going to a World Cup, in 1954 was a reality check. We ended up in a “Group of Death”, lost narrowly to Austria, who finished third, before being absolutely walloped 0-7 by holders Uruguay, who finished fourth.

Since then, we have repeatedly been put in our place on the world stage and it hurts. So, perhaps we should say thank you to those long gone administrators, who came pretty close to proving old Abe Lincoln wrong – they did fool us into believing we were better than we thought we were.


 

Friday, 11 April 2025

Who'd Be A Goalie

MY NAME is Socrates and I am a goalkeeper; there, I've said it. Former team mates have also told me: “All goalkeepers are mad, but you abused that privilege”. Perhaps that's why I ended up swapping the perils of the penalty box for the peace of the Press Box. Or might it be that I obeyed that old chestnut: “Those who can – do; those who no longer can – coach; those who never could – write about it”.

There is a theory in football that the nations where the game is mainly played by the heart, for example Brazil, Uruguay and Scotland rarely produce great goalkeepers, whereas those nations who play mainly with the head, England, Germany, Italy, Spain appear to have a production line of great shot-stoppers.

Football isn't big on in-game statistics, perhaps because it is the most free-form of the popular team sports. In theory, a game of Football could consist of two 45 minute halves of non-stop action; this doesn't happen in other sports, where you get a concerted short blast of action between what are set-pieces. With this format, such as the six-ball over in cricket, it is far-easier to keep statistics, as a means of demonstrating which players are the most-productive.

For instance, we know that Denis Law scored 30 goals in 55 Scotland appearances, giving him a goals per game average of 0.55. Kenny Dalglish required 102 games to score the same 30 goals, giving him a gpg figure of 0.29. They are in the conversation about Scotland's greatest player, yet few of today's talking heads will include Hughie Gallacher – 24 goals in 20 games – 1.2 gpg in the conversation, because, none of them ever saw him play.

It's easy enough to discuss strikers, given, how often they put the ball in the net is the measure of how good they were. It becomes a lot more-difficult when the discussion turns to goalkeepers, the men whose job it is to keep the ball out of the net.

'Keepers are the ultimate back-stop, called into action only after the ten men in front of them have failed to do their defensive jobs. It is an unforgiving role. For instance, Frank Haffey, still with us, aged 86, out there on Queensland's Gold Coast, has for the past 64 years carried the stigma of being the man at fault in Scotland's 3-9 loss to England, at Wembley, in 1961.

It goes without saying, any goalkeeper who concedes nine goals in a game cannot have had a brilliant match. But, the reality is, poor old Frank was an easy scapegoat for the failings of others in the team that day.

The film of the game which is publically available isn't the best quality and the editing is poor, but, having watched the footage, I would say only one of the nine goals was down to a Haffey error; he might have done better at two others, but, the other six were down to mistakes made elsewhere in the team, which left Haffey totally-exposed.

Scotland were poor, I have personal experience of several of the outfield players admitting: “That day, I was rubbish, I simply didn't turn-up”, yet only Frank Haffey and Motherwell's Bert McCann, of the 11 on-duty were never again picked for Scotland.

So, Frank Haffey got a raw deal, but, he's not the only Scottish goalkeeper to suffer. We have a history of treating the glove-wearers differently from outfield players; they are more-harshly judged.

So, what might be our metrics for deciding who is the G.O.A.T. Of Scottish goalkeepers, and which players make the cut into this conversation?

Obviously, I cannot properly comment on the greats of the past – the likes of Jack Harkness, John Thomson, Jerry Dawson, Jimmy Brownlie, far less the legends of that Golden Victorian age when Scotland ruled the football world.

So, I have limited my search to the post-World War II period and come up with a list of the most-capped Scottish goalkeepers from that time. In order of being capped, these men are:

Jimmy Cowan, Tommy Younger, Bill Brown, Bobby Clark, David Harvey, Alan Rough, Jim Leighton, Andy Goram, Neil Sullivan, Craig Gordon, David Marshall and Allan McGregor.

In descending order of caps won, the order is:

Leighton – 91 caps : Gordon - 81 caps : Rough – 53 caps : Marshall – 46 caps : Goram – 43 caps : McGregor – 42 caps : Brown – 28 caps : Sullivan – 28 caps; Cowan – 25 caps : Younger – 24 caps : Clark – 17 caps : Harvey – 16 caps.

In descending order of goals per game conceded, the order is:

  1. Harvey – 16 games – 11 goals conceded – av. 0.69 gpg

  2. Leighton – 91 games – 71 goals conceded – av. 0.78 gpg

  3. Goram – 43 games – 35 goals conceded – av. 0.81 gpg

  4. Cowan – 25 games – 26 goals conceded – av. 1.04 gpg

  5. Gordon – 81 games – 85 goals conceded – av. 1.05 gpg

  6. McGregor – 42 games – 48 goals conceded – av. 1.14 gpg

  7. Rough – 53 games – 61 goals conceded – av. 1.15 gpg

  8. Clark – 17 games – 20 goals conceded – av. 1.17 gpg

  9. Sullivan – 28 games – 36 goals conceded – av. 1.28 gpg

  10. Brown – 28 games – 39 goals conceded – av. 1.4 gpg

  11. Marshall – 46 games – 69 goals conceded – av. 1.5 gpg

  12. Younger – 24 games – 36 goals conceded – av. 1.5 gpg

The goalkeeper's big thing is the “goose egg” - a clean sheet – no goals conceded in a game. Given that each goalkeeper played a different number of games, the fairest way to evaluate them by this parameter is to take their clean sheets as a percentage of games played, in which case, the order is:

  1. Leighton – 91 games – 45 clean sheets – 49.6% clean sheets

  2. Harvey – 16 games – 7 clean sheets – 43.75% clean sheets

  3. Gordon – 81 games – 34 clean sheets – 41.9% clean sheets

  4. Goram – 43 games – 18 clean sheets – 41.9% clean sheets

  5. Clark – 17 games – 7 clean sheets – 41.2% clean sheets

  6. McGregor – 42 games – 16 clean sheets – 38.1% clean sheets

  7. Cowan – 25 games – 9 clean sheets – 36% clean sheets

  8. Rough – 53 games – 16 clean sheets – 30.2% clean sheets

  9. Sullivan – 28 games – 8 clean sheets – 28.6% clean sheets

  10. Marshall – 46 games – 11 clean sheets – 23.9% clean sheets

  11. Brown – 28 games – 6 clean sheets – 21.4% clean sheets

  12. Younger – 24 games – 4 clean sheets – 16.7% clean sheets

There is an old football cliché: “You win as a team and you lose as a team”, in which case which of our dozen great goalkeepers has the best winning record with Scotland? Again, in descending order, the results are:

  1. Cowan – 17 wins from 25 games – winning percentage - 68%

  2. Harvey – 9 wins from 16 games – winning percentage - 56.25%

  3. Gordon – 42 wins from 81 games – winning percentage – 51.8%

  4. Rough – 27 wins from 53 games – winning percentage – 50.9%

  5. Brown – 14 wins from 28 games – winning percentage – 50%

  6. McGregor – 19 wins from 42 games – winning percentage – 45.2%

  7. Leighton – 41 wins from 91 games – winning percentage – 45.05%

  8. Younger – 10 wins from 24 games – winning percentage – 41.7%

  9. Clark – 6 wins from 17 games – winning percentage – 35.3%

  10. Sullivan – 10 wins from 28 games – winning percentage – 35.2%

  11. Marshall – 15 wins from 46 games – winning percentage – 32.6%

  12. Goram – 14 wins from 43 games – winning percentage – 32.6%

Perhaps the best metric of a goalkeeper's worth to his side is statistic which is extremely-difficult to find in Football, but is frequently quoted in another game – ice hockey. This is a goalkeeper's saves percentage – the proportion of the shots he faces which the goalkeeper stops.

Given how the quality of the defences in front of them and of the attacks they are facing vary, this is really, the only statistic that matters when discussing goalkeepers. The leagues such as the EPL and the SPFL do tabulate the number of saves each goalkeeper makes, but do not give this figure as a percentage of shots on target they faced.

So, lacking this crucial evidence, what conclusions can we reach from the above breakdown of the figures? Perhaps, only this, the fact that Andy Goram - “The Goalie” - an almost mythical figure among Scottish goalkeepers, while one of only 3 of the 12 men listed to have conceded fewer than one goal per game for Scotland, has the worst wins percentage – thereby proving, Jimmy Greaves, that scourge of Scottish goalkeepers, not least the above-mentioned Frank Haffey, got it right when he famously told Ian St John: “It's a funny old game Saint”. Or maybe – who'd be a goalkeeper, you just cannot win.


 

Friday, 4 April 2025

Re-Organisation - More Talk, Little Action - Again I Suspect

YAWN!!!!! That was my immediate reacton to the earth-shattering news that the think tank at the top of the Scottish Professional Football League are thinking of, once again, re-arranging the deckchairs on fitba's version of The Titanic.

Jumping the shark” is an idiom popular in the entertainment business, marking the moment in the development of a TV series, when the writing team loses the plot completely and gets desperate; it evolved from a 1977 edition of 'Happy Days' in which The Fonz jumped a shark while water-skiing. The SPFL lang syne jumped a whole shoal of sharks.

I appreciate, it would suit the butchers, bakers and candlestick-makers who run the 40 Diddy Clubs to convene a whole series of meetings, focus groups, workshops and the like over the next few months, to give the impression that they are serious about doing something. Yes, the guys from the real life inspiration for Invertottie Howkers, Wellgather Lilac, Glasgow Breengers and Kilnockie FC want to appear relevant; But it would save us all a great deal of time if they simply bowed to reality, left it up to the adults in the room and invited the representatives of The Old Firm to decide what they wanted, then rolled over to let the big boys rub their tummies in gratitude for passing their decision on the nod.

For all the excesses of the two clubs' fairly-large lunatic fringe, the Diddy Clubs will seemingly far-rather exist on crumbs from their table than force through the changes which would level the Scottish Football playing field – it makes for an easier life. This is one of the reasons why, the SPFL's rules allow two clubs, acting together, to block any changes.

They had a chance for meaningful change when Rangers went tits-up in 2012, only Aberdeen stepped up and offered handers to Celtic to stave-off a revolution.

A return to a ten-club top flight might be on the cards, who knows. Some want to turn the clock back 50 years to a 16-team top flight; but we will probably need to await the outcome of the current take-over moves down Edmiston Drive way, before there is any clarity. However, I reckon, we will see another roll of adhesive dressing applied to the rather wounded beast that is Scottish Firba, rather than the life-saving surgery which is required.

Mind you, all hope is not yet lost, but I expect recovery to be a long-drawn-out process. Meantime, here is something to ponder – I've got a little list:R

Here's a breakdown of American-owned clubs in major European leagues:

Premier League:

  • Arsenal: Owned by Stan Kroenke

  • Aston Villa: Owned by V Sports

  • Bournemouth: Owned by Bill Foley

  • Chelsea: Owned by Todd Boehly and Clearlake Capital

  • Crystal Palace: Majority owned by three U.S. investors

  • Fulham: Owned by Shahid Khan

  • Liverpool: Owned by Fenway Sports Group

  • Manchester United: Owned by the Glazer Family

  • Everton: Owned by the Friedkin Group 


Serie A:

  • AC Milan: Owned by RedBird Capital Partners (Gerry Cardinale)

  • Atalanta: Owned by Stephen Pagliuca

  • Genoa: Owned by 777 Partners

  • Monza: Owned by Gabelli

  • Udinese: Owned by the Saputo family 


Ligue 1:

  • Le Havre: Owned by North Americans

  • Lyon: Owned by North Americans

  • Marseille: Owned by North Americans

  • St. Etienne: Owned by North Americans

  • Strasbourg: Owned by North Americans

  • Toulouse: Owned by North Americans 


Other Notable American Ownership:

  • Wrexham AFC: Owned by Ryan Reynolds and Rob McElhenney

  • Birmingham City: Has US investors including Tom Brady

  • Burnley: Owned by ALK Capital

  • Ipswich Town: Owned by ORG, BPSP and Avenue Sports

  • West Ham: Has a minority U.S. Investor

  • Leeds United: owned by 49 Enterprises Global


That list includes 14 English-based clubs; add The Old Firm, Manchester City, Newcastle United and maybe a couple of other foreign-owned clubs and you have the basis of a viable breakaway league, bankrolled by mainly American money and owners who recognise the money-making potential of a league run on North American professional sports lines – with an all-powerful Commissioner, really good media deals, and a CBA (Combined Business Agreement).

Such a league makes far-greater business sense than an SPFL or even one of the English Leagues, hide-bound by well over a century of tradition.

Mind you, if the Big Two did depart into an American-style Superleague, be it largely British or even pan-European, we just might get a really-competitive Scottish League from the teams left behind. Without the big two distorting the finances and the toxic presence of their lunatic fringes, why, those left behind might start favouring native talent and Scottish Fitba could rise, phoenix-like, from the ashes of the pull-out to supposed greater riches that the Bigot Brothers have long coveted.

Of course, it might be, The Old Firm are quite happy to be big sharks, swimming in a shallow pool filled with easily-devoured food, in which case, there will be no shark-jumping any time soon and the slow decline of Scottish Fitba will only speed-up.

But, past deck-chair re-arranging has me fairly certain, any changes made will be largely cosmetic and will go nowhere near far enough.





 

Tuesday, 25 March 2025

Woe, Woe And Thrice Woe

WHEN GREECE opened the scoring on Sunday night, I had an old familiar feeling: “Now, how exactly are we going to blow this one?” At 2-0 to the visitors I was sampling my inner Yogi Berra - “it was déjà vu all over again.” When we bore further gifts to the Greeks with that third goal, I switched-off, I knew then, there was no way back for us.

So, where do we go from here? To the depths of further despair I fear. Naturally, this being Scotland, the calls for the head of Steevie Clarke were growing, even as the Tartan Army staged yet another Hampden Boo-Off.

Being Scotland manager, while perhaps not as desperate a position as trying to meet what England expects of its National Team Manager – and certainly not carrying the near-certainty of a knighthood if you even get close to achieving what England expects – is still pretty-much a case of accepting a Mission Impossible operation.

The Scottish Football Association is a joke, a by-word for incompetence, troughing and self-interest. The Scottish Professional Football League is an even-bigger joke, two obese bullies lording it over 40 cowed followers, who would rather import third and fourth-rate non-Scottish players than promote native talent.

Yet, we still produce players good enough to play in some of Europe's top leagues, although the days when the dressing rooms of the top English clubs were wall-to-wall with Scots are long gone.

In the FIFA World Rankings, Scotland are ranked 45th - 26th in Europe, behind one or two countries the Tartan Army appears to think we should always beat easily.

Our League is ranked 17th in Europe this season - 14th over the past five years.

Our clubs' positions in the UEFA rankings (again a five-year plot) are:

Rangers (26), Celtic (59), Hearts (138), Aberdeen (161), Kilmarnock (205), St Mirren (206), Hibernian (207), Dundee United (208), Motherwell (209), St Johnstone (210). There are 427 clubs listed and those six clubs grouped together from places 205 to 210 are behind one or two “diddy teams” from “diddy leagues” I would not back to beat Auchinleck Talbot.

Robert Burns famously hoped mankind might have the opportunity: “tae see oorselves as ithers see us.” I have always felt this should apply to Scottish Fitba; if it did, we might accept, National League B – the level to which the “Greek Tragedy” on Sunday condemned us, is perhaps the place we ought to be.

To be fair to our football administrators and the Fans With Lap-Tops, over the years they have convinced us to re-write a popular terracing ditty, when it comes to Scottish Fitba, “We're shite, but we refuse to believe we are.”

I could at this point:

  • call, (again) for a football revolution

  • demand we get rid of the troughers and stumble-bums who have held us back for years

  • insist we immediately institute a Three Foreigners Rule in our game

  • institute a proper player development pathway

  • bring-in a Collective Bargaining Agreement to level the playing field

  • cut the number of Senior clubs and make the lesser leagues development ones

But, it would matter not a jot. The Scots truly are The Lost Tribe of Israel. Living in a football paradise, flowing with milk and honey - “Ach! That's no fur the likes o' us.”




SO. WHAT HAPPENS NEXT? The national side now goes into cold storage until two Friendlies, against Iceland and Liechtenstein, in June. After that there is another interlude, before they face Belarus in our opening World Cup Qualifier in September.

There are not as many Friendlies now as there once were, so these two games have to be seen as a golden opportunity for Clarke, or if he departs or is let go in the interim, his successor, to have a soft start to the World Cup qualifying campaign. It gives him a chance to sort-out a few problems.

  1. Craig Gordon is now 42 and in all honesty, he cannot go on for ever. Angus Gunn is the Heir Presumptive, but is currently injured. If he is fit again, and back in the Norwich City first team, then he will presumably come back for at least one of the friendlies. But, either way, we need to find and blood a young goalkeeper, who is getting regular game time, to put pressure on Gunn.

  2. We need to find two, perhaps three central defenders. John Souttar, given his club form, particularly in the European games, is staking a claim to be the defensive lynch-pin, but who plays alongside him?

  3. Who runs our midfield? Is it perhaps time to hand responsibility to Lewis Ferguson? How much has John McGinn got left? Who are our alternatives to the guys we have relied-on for so long?

  4. How much has Andy Robertson got left?

  5. Will Kieran Tierney mark two, back at Celtic, offer as much as first time around?

  6. Where can we find a reliable, regular goal-scorer?

  7. Are there any young players in the Under-21s about ready to be promoted to the big team?'

  8. Why are our professional clubs allowed to employ so-many non-Scottish players, to the detriment of Scottish talent?

  9. Why do we no longer have a functioning player development pathway?

  10. If not Stevie Clark as Manager – Who?

But, that is probably the big, seldom-changing thing about Scottish Fitba – so many questions, so few answers. “Here's tae us, wha's like us” etc.