I AM STILL trying to get my head round what happened. “'Hun Direction' – The Homecoming” should have been a triumph, instead, it was a classic case of “Second Album Syndrome” as the promise of the reformed boy band's first album - “Live at the Theatre of Pies” crashed and burned. Proof if you like, what has the fans raving in Hicktown, Iowa, doesn't always work on Broadway.
I have long maintained, absolute top tier football – Manchester City etc – is downright boring; two sides, each determined to pass the other to death by boredom, afraid to take any shot which is not virtually-guaranteed to count, no thank you. Give me good old-fashioned Scottish Fitba, defenders who would struggle to trap a falling bag of cement, or who can miskick off either shin; that guarantees you mistakes, near-misses and excitement – and we have seen plenty of this on TV over the past seven days.
You know, I have extreme reservations about the huge number of non-Scots now strutting their stuff in our game. OK, one or two are good players, but, the majorioty ar every bit as inept as home-grown Scots. Back when I was involved in a couple of imported sports here, ice hockey and basketball, the High Heid Yins who were running these sports made much of their wish to see North American coaches in-place. Yes, North American-trained players were a welcome bonus, bringing a razzmataz the locals couldn't match, but, of more long-term benefit, was the work ethic of coaches who knew just what it took to make it in a deeper talent pool.
So, I say, keep the foreign coaches, such as the guys at Aberdeen, Motherwell and St Johnstone, but, let's cut back on the imported players and improve the home-grown talent as a matter of urgency.
ONLY TWO THINGS prevented me from achieving my ambition of being Scotland's international goalkeeper. The first and most-crucial was a distinct lack of talent, the second was, I am living embodiment of an old but true saying:
Those who can do
Those who no longer can coach
Those who only thought they could write about it.
Right now, we are seeing the dying days of The Craig Gordon Years. OK, the influential Lap-Top Loyal will trumpet the claims of “The Goalie” as the G.O.A.T. Of Scottish goalkeepers – a clan which has had to endure more than its fair share of being disparaged and disrespected.
These G.O.A.T. arguments are almost unwinnable, but, for me, big Craig has to be in the discussion. However, even he would admit, he is not the 'keeper he once was and who gets the gloves long term is a discussion we need to be having.
Angus Gunn, if he can get back to his form of his first caps, is the Heir Apparent, but, the number one jersey is not yet his as of right. I have to say, from what I have been watching of late, the standard of goalkeeping, at least in the Scottish game, is not great. Mind you, some of the 'keepers who on a weekly basis give the impression of being a scientist's wet dream – incapable of catching a cold – are not Scotland-qualified.
I can think of at least three eminent Scottish goalkeepers of fairly recent vintage who were renowned “Shaggers” - tis a pity the Scottish Football Association never investigated a suggestion made by Pat Crerand back when he was on the ITV World Cup Panel of 1970. Watching the great Brazil team winning that tourn ament, Paddy suggested: “We kidnap the likes of Pele and Tostao, bring them over here and put them to stud to build a team for the future.”
Failing that, did none of the three goalies I am thinking of pass-on their skills during their extra-curricular activities?
OK – IN TERMS of pure technical football ability, Scottish Fitba hums like a farm field with a dung spreader on it, but, you have to admit, for all the mistakes and mis-kicks, it's exciting. Just look at the Premier League table.
We all know, the title and probably all three domestic trophies are heading for Celtic Park, and while they are safe in Second, the on-going soap opera down Edmiston Drive is providing terrific entertainment for the public at large.
But, there is a terrific three-club scrap going on for third spot, and another good fight for the other top six places and a possible showing-up in Europe next season. Then, the fight to avoid the relegation play-off spot could go to the wire, as could the battle to avoid the automatic relegation place, so yes, plenty of reasons to turn-up over the remaining weeks of play.
There is also much to get excited about in the Championship. Falkirk, seemingly on-course for promtion not that long ago, are now in a three-way battle for the automatic promotion place, with Livingston and Ayr United. Partick Thistle seem safe in the final play-off place, but, could yet, being Thistle, spring a surprise in the post-regular season games. Again, much to look forward to.
Yes, our game is rubbish, and it's not helped by the current fashion for bringing-in low-grade players from England and abroad and ignoring native talent, but, maybe we Scots simply like our entertainment provided by people with minimal talent – that never harmed Fran and Anna or a long list of past and current Scottish “comedians” I could name.
