RATHER like your kids in the back seat while you drive down the M6 on holiday, a lot of Scottish football fans have been asking: "Is it here yet?" as season 2011-2012 ever-so-slowly cranks up. Once upon a time, when we had an indiginous newspaper industry, rather than being a northern enclave of 'Fleet Street', the likes of the Daily Record had a couple of special pre-set fonts. The first, only used occasionally proclaimed in black 72 point: "THE KING/QUEEN IS DEAD"; the other, used once annually roared: "KING FOOTBALL IS BACK".
Today, football resumes after an ever-shortening summer break with, rather than a fanfare and a blaze of publicity - but by almost shame-facedly creeping in. Mind you, with the state Scottish football is in these days, can we blame it?
Scottish football has been on the downward slope for at least the last 25-years. In that time, the powers-that-be have made a lot of noise, come up with a lot of promises of better days around the corner, but done hee-haw about actually changing things. In increasing numbers the fans have voted with their feet. Aye, the Bigot Brothers still pull-in the fans, but, let's be honest, a lot of their combined following are signed-up for reasons which have little, if anything, to do with a love of football.
When, in the second round of matches, unbeaten Kilmarnock and table-topping Motherwell can only one-quarter-fill Rugby Park - a Rugby Park which, remember, only holds around half the number of fans it once did - why do we bother?
I've seen Killie pre-season; Kenny Shiels's team is far from the finished article, but, they are trying to play good football, albeit without a genuine striker familiar with the expected juxtaposition of a cow's rear end and a banjo. Motherwell's thumping of Inverness CT in their opening fixture even forced a smile onto Tam Cowan's coupon, Saturday was a fine, sunny day - yet - poor crowd, no goals -yawn.
It goes without saying: playing competitive football during the Glasgow Fair is wrong - but, that's the price we must pay for our long, slow, decline into genteel poverty - or ought that rather be paucity of talent, expectation and ambition.
We seriously and urgently need to re-structure out leagues, re-structure our season and re-state our ambition. But, don't hold your breath; we will surely guddle along for a good wee while yet before, if ever, things turn.
Not even the great WG Barnum could drum up interest in Scottish Football as it is today.
SO, WE now know that the Road to Rio will be via: Croatia, Serbia, Belgium, Macedonia and Wales. We might have had it tougher, again, we could have had it easier, but, when it comes to World Cups and Scotland, it was ever thus.
Croatia, who will start the group as favourites to qualify, we have faced thrice since that country re-emerged from the break-up of the old Yugoslavia: all three games, in 2001, 2002 and 2008 have been drawn - 1-1, 0-0, 1-1. So, tight games, probably decided by the odd goal would seem to be the order of the day, but, we need not fear them.
Serbia we have never met before, but in eight matches against Yugoslavia, including World Cup Final meetings in Sweden in 1958 and West Germany in 1974, we only lost once, going down 3-1 in Zagreb in a WC qualifying group match in Zagreb in 1989. Since then, the down-sizing of the once-powerful Yugoslavs to their Serbian rump has weakened them badly. Another two tight games beckon, but two we should win.
Belgium - now the two meetings with them could well be THE crucial games in our group. We've met the Belgians 15 times since the end of World War II and our record reads: won 4, drawn 3, lost 8. We have been drawn with them three times in World Cup or European Championship qualifiers and have barely registered a drawn against them, while we've won just two of eleven games against them in the last 40 years. You might say: "We are due a change of luck against them", but, these will be probably our two toughest games.
Macedonia, provided we heed the lessons of history and avoid the stifling heat of Skopje between May and October, should not overly concern us - but the lesson of that 0-1 2008 loss in the Macedonian capital must be heeded.
Then there is the clash of the Scotia Nostra and the Taffia. First the good news - we've never failed to qualify when we've been in a World Cup group with the Welsh; we can reinforce that with the glad tidings of our win over them last time out, in the Carling Cup, in Dublin in May.
But, that was achieved against a very young, inexperienced and experimental Welsh XI and it was our first win over the Red Dragons in six outings. Also, our record in Cardiff is terrible - two wins in ten visits over the past 50 years.
They will hope to field the likes of Gareth Bale and Aaron Ramsey against us, but: to modify a famous Shanklyism - if you canny beat two men, ye shouldnae be playin fur Scotland.
The eternal optimist in me believes we can win the group, far less merely qualify for the lay-offs, but, the observer, cowed with repeated under-performance by our brave lads, can equally-easily see us finish fourth in the group.
But, such are the joys of being in the Tartan Army.
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