We're Awe Doomed - Yet Again

OLD Private Fraser here, while the rest of Scotland was celebrating Celtic's magnificent 3-3 home draw with Manchester City, was trying to preach caution. Watching the game, it was clear, City was the better team, and, Celtic were lucky to escape with a point.

This, however, didn't fit-in with the tale the Scottish Football Writers Association was trying to spin to the dafties who pay at the gate, or buy the TV packages to watch Scottish fitba. I say again, the Scottish mainstream media's football writers, whether in or out of the SFWA could give Josef Goebbels lessons in propaganda.

We've been shite for years, but, wheesht, dinnae tell the punters this. Keep telling them, we are good at this gemme, and the saps will keep turning up.

Well, after last night's gubbing from Gladbach, back at Fortress Parkhead, I don't think Celtic have anywhere left to hide. They are going out of Europe before Christmas. For the benefit of those who would argue otherwise – remember this: Celtic are as much use in Europe as a three-pin plug.

Yes, they might beat Barcelona at Celtic Park, but, I would suggest, only if Barca have already qualified and want to give their youth team a run out. I suppose they could yet go the the Ethiad and win, but, by the same token, I could get off with Elle McPherson. Celtic might go to Monchengladbach and win 3-0; there is previous on this, Rangers did it once, but, that was in 1960 – before there was a national German league, and Gladbach were a largely amateur side.

But, let's face reality, Celtic lost 0-2 at home, and got off lightly. But for Craig Gordon, it could have been another embarrassing defeat. And, Celtic are, by some distance, the best team in Scotland.

Altogether now: “We're shite – and we know we are..........”

I NOTICED a wee piece on The Herald's website today, apparently moves are afoot to get a reborn Third Lanark into the Junior Central League, then the Lowland League and, eventually, back into senior football.

Old romantic that I am, I would love to see the Hi Hi, the team of Jimmy Brownlie, Jimmy Carabine, Jimmy Mason, Ally MacLeod, Bobby Mitchell, Goodfellow, Hilley, Harley, Gray and McInnes back in senior football.

Thirds were undone by allegedly corrupt business practices and died. If another Glasgow club, also undone by allegedly corrupt business practices had gone down this route – starting in the Juniors, then joining the Lowland League, and working-up through the levels – well, an awful lot of Scandinavian forests would still be standing, and there would be a lot fewer stupid comments being posted below the line on various websites.

The new team will, 50-years after the old one died, still be able to claim the history and the trophies – that much has been established!!

IT SEEMS the UK is heading for a “hard” Brexit fro Europe, with the numbers of immigrants arriving in England one of the driving forces for this sharp exit.

The Tory government is adamant, they want to control immigration and cut down on the number of Europeans now working in the UK. Unelected Prime Minister May has, on a couple of occasions, ruled-out guaranteeing EU immigrants currently in this country, continuity of stay once Brexit happens.

Well, IF this happens, we can say goodbye to such English Premiership talents as:

David De Gea (Manchester United and Spain); Per Mertesacher (Arsenal and Germany), Vincent Kompany (Manchester City and Belgium), Gael Clichy (Manchester City and France); Bastian Schweinsteiger (Germany and Manchester United), Juan Mata (Manchester United and Spain) Cesc Fabregas, Paul Pogba (Manchester United and France); Mesut Ozil (Arsenal and Germany) and Zlatan Ibrahimovic (Manchester United and Sweden) will all have to go home – along with the several hundred other EU footballers plying their trade in England.

Stands to reason, if all those Poles, Bulgarians, Romanians and so forth who are keeping the English agriculture and hospitality industries going have to go home, well then why should European footballers be allowed to stay. Popcorn ready, this could be fun.

However, we must ask ourselves – how will this affect the stellar talents emerging from what will probably be an independent Scotland? Will a “hard” Brexit, followed by indepenence mean a “hard” border, customs posts at Carlisle and the closing off of the High Road to England?

GERRY Gow died last week. Gerry was from Drumchapel, one of the many Scottish hard but talented midfielders who stalked the midfields of England in the 1970s and 1980s, when men were men, who spoke with a Scottish accent.

Gerry was best-known for his time with a Bristol City team which over-achieved by getting into the old First Division and staying there, before getting a big-money move to Manchester City.

The best story I heard about Gerry was of how, facing the 17-year-old Neil Redfearn, making his debut for Bolton Wanderers, Gow told Redfarn: “Son, Ah'm gonnae brek yer fuckin' leg”.

An older team mate told Redfearn to ignore him, since: “Gerry's only kidding-on”. Then Gow went back and told Redfarn: “Ah'm no kiddin; Ah will brek your fuckin' leg”.

Right up there with the legendary Jim Holton retort to Spurs and England's Martin Chivers, who told him: “You're nothing but a big, dirty, Scots c*nt”.

“Aye, and don't you ever forget it”, was the response from 'Six-Foot-Two, Eyes of Blue'.