Why Shouldn't Socrates Ask a Philosophical Question?

A QUESTION for any logophiles among the erudite following of these ravings – are we sure Schadenfreude is a German word? Because, given the reaction to the Breengers' unexpected loss in Dingwall on Sunday, there were a lot of very-happy Scots to be seen in places other than the Garngad, Coatbridge and Croy that night.

There might yet be a twist or two to come in this season's title race, perhaps beginning in the paddy fields of Dundee on Wednesday night, but after Sunday, the ball is back in Celtic's court – can they serve out the season and lift the title?

Ross County's shock victory was not well-received here in God's Orange County, a place where the sense of football entitlement mirrors that in the allegedly green hot beds mentioned in my opening paragraph. I received a server dose of vitriol when I mentioned to one or two locals how, at 3-1 to County, I was wondering when the Breengers would get their seemingly-statuory penalty.

Then, as the game was dragged out towards 100 minutes, Wee Liam, the “Token Tim” in our quaint former mining village, enquired if the referee was under orders to “play on until The Huns equalise”.

MIND YOU, I reckon the rise of Manchester City has seen the long-established sense of entitlement among Old Firm fans migrate south. At the moment, Manchester United may be somewhat off the pace in England, but, fear not, defeats for Liverpool and Arsenal over the weekend kept the pot boiling around their over-inflated league.

I actually struggle to be moved watching City, when they get it right, the way they play is maybe too-perfect, too-predictable. What was unpredictable, totally-unexpected and all the better for seeing it, was that twenty-plus passes move which produced Crystal Palace's winning goal at Anfield.

Jurgen Klopp's reaction – he simply said: “wow”! That summed it up perfectly.

STILL IN that Land of Make Believe which is the English Premiership, I note Mauricio Pochettino had to read the Riot Act to a couple of his Chelsea stars, after they tried to prevent designated penalty-taker Cole Palmer from adding to the hat-trick he had already scored, in what was eventually a 6-0 rout of Everton.

I often wonder how the legendary managers of yore – guys like Bill Struth, Willie Maley, Jock Stein, Brian Clough, Bill Nicholson, Wullie Shankly or Matt Busby would deal with today's star players – the balance of the relationship between club and player has probably swung too-far in favour of the player these days, just how would they have coped?

That is a very-interesting question I feel.

When it comes to penalties, there is perhaps something to be said for applying a rule whereby the player fouled, or, in the case of handball, the last player from the team getting the penalty to have touched the ball, is the guy who takes it.

Still on penalties; he may be very-good from 12 yards, but, when it comes to his core job of being a defender, James Tavernier could not keep hens oot o' a close. As a right back, he never has been and never will be Rangers class.

WE NOW know the post-split make-up of the Premiership, going into the last five games. MOMENTUM is the key word as we approach the final act of the season-long drama.

The current momentum table – a look at the clubs' form over the last five games looks like this:

Kilmarnock

Heart of Midlothian

Celtic

Dundee

Rangers

St Mirren

Not good reading for Rangers then, or for the Buddies, in their effort to overhaul Killie for the final European spot next season. However, things could well change over the final five games.

With Livingston already relegated, the only unanswered question in the bottom six is, who will be consigned to the relegation play-off spot?

The bottom six Momentum table currently reads:

Aberdeen

Ross County

Motherwell

Hibernian

St Johnstone

Hibs and Motherwell have sufficient points in the bank to be safe for another season, while Aberdeen appear to have hit form at the right time to also stay up, so, the reality is, it's the battle between Ross County and St Johnstone to avoid the play-off lottery which will keep the pot boiling at the bottom over the run-in.

IN THE Championship, with a mere three games left, we already know the four teams who will be involved in the play-offs: Dundee United, Raith Rovers, Partick Thistle and Airdrie. The question, however, is: in what order?

United could clinch the automatic promotion spot this weekend. If Tannadice alumnus Duncan Ferguson can lift his Inverness Caledonian Thistle side to beat Raith, in Inverness, then a home win by United over Scott Brown's Ayr will put the Terrors back into the big league. This will leave Thistle and the Diamonds, locked together on 51 points, but with the Harry Wraggs having a two goals better goal difference, to fight it out for third and fourth.

Who will go into the relegation play-off in this division is perhaps the most-intriguing question remaining this season.

Arbroath are of course already down, but the fight to avoid possibly joining them in League One will go right to the wire. As things stand, the fifth to ninth in the table order is:

Dunfermline Athletic

Ayr United

Greenock Morton

Inverness Caledonian Thistle

Queen's Park

However, the form, or Momentum table reads:

Dunfermline Athletic

Ayr United

Inverness Caledonian Thistle

Queen's Park

Greenock Morton

Squeaky Bum time right enough here.

IN League One – Falkirk will go up as Champions, Hamilton Accies' place in the play-offs is secure, as is Alloa Athletic's. The one unresolved issue is, who finishes fourth?

Montrose currently lie fourth, one point ahead of Cove Rangers, who in turn have a three-point advantage over Kelty Hearts. Kelty, however, have the greater momentum. Their meeting with Montrose at the end of the month could have a huge effect on the final order.

Edinburgh City are already relegated, and, in all honesty it doesn't look good for second-bottom Stirling Albion's chances of avoiding the relegation play-off.

They trail Annan Athletic on goal differencde, with Queen of the South three points ahead in seventh spot. However the two Solway Coast sides have a bit more momentum going into their crucial final three games, although, here again, it will probably go all the way to the wire.

IN League Two, Stenhousemuir are the Champions, with Peterhead, Dumbarton and Spartans in the Promotion play-offs. East Fife still have an arithmetical chance of overhauling Spartans, but, for this to happen it will need the Edinburgh side to collapse totally and the Methil Men to win all three remaining fixtures – and I don't see this happening.

The real interest in this division is at the bottom. Clyde, as has been the case for most of the season, are in bottom spot and looking at the play-off against either Lowland League winners East Kilbride or whichever side from the Highland League – Brechin City, Buckie Thistle or outsiders Fraserburgh for that final place in next season's senior set-up.

Stranraer are just one point above the Bully Wee, but, Clyde is on the better form run at the moment. This one will, again, go right to the wire.

21st Century Fitba - It's A Different Gemme Son

I HAVE come to the conclusion, the cacophony of sound and fury around 21^st century Old Firm matches is in inverse proportion to the quality of the football on-display. Take Sunday's Ibrox offering for instance.

No argument, it oozed excitement, from that opening goal, 21 seconds in, to that stunning equaliser some two hours later, but, the quality of the football left a lot to be desired. Of course, mindful of that gross under-statement of the then High Heid Yin of the SFA, the anonymous administrator who, leaving Hampden Park following the 1960 European Cup Final (Real Madrid 7 Eintracht Frankfort 3), assured the late Hugh McIlvanney: “of course, Scottish football fans would not pay to watch that sort of football every week.” We were never likely to get the chance to test that opinion.

We Scots have always liked our fitba with a side order of bluid and snotters; “Gerrintaerum” and ”rummel 'em up” are apparently officially-sanctioned tactics in the SFA coaching handbook; it is, after all: “a man's gemme son”.

So, if it's a man's gemme, can somebody please explain that Portugeuse laddie's conduct on Sunday. Macho is supposedly a Latin state of mind. So why did wee Fabio Silva, complete with Alice band, spend so-much time on Sunday afternoon rolling around on the ground, clutching various limbs and screaming for his Mammy.

The boy has talent, but not as an actor. He embarrassed himself and his club with his antics on Sunday.

Oner fears for what might have happened to him had he perhaps been facing past Celtic defenders such as Roy Aitken, Tommy Gemmell, Shuggie Edvaldsson or David Hay, to name but four members of the “Take no prisoners” school of defending.

We can only speculate on how he might have fared in Rangers' training games, up against the likes of John Greig, John Brown, Bobby Shearer or Gregor Stevens.

I fear, for all his unquestionable technical ability, Mr Silva is another recent purchase who has to go down in the Not Rangers Class section of the leger. Another to confirm his placing in that category on Saturday was, for me, James Tavernier. For all the goals he scores, he is primarily a defender, but, he is one who cannot defend, as such he stands well down the list of Rangrers; right backs I have seen.

Today's fans are awfy-easy pleased; when you see players getting a round of applause for passing the ball ten yards to an unmarked team mate. At 60-yard cross-field ball, a la Baxter or Murdoch might well stop an Old Firm game today, as the fans suffered mass hysteria at seeing such genius.

Unsurprisingly, the big talking points over Sunday's game were the VAR decisions. I believe a lot of the criticism of the system could be avoided, if football was to take a lesson from Rugby Union in how to use television evidence tosort out controversial incidents.

In rugby, when the TMO gets involved, ther incident being reviewed is shown on the big screen – everyone can see what the referee has been asked to check. Also in rugby, there is a sound link between referee and TMO, so, the crowd, or at least those in it who have got the referee mike link, can listen-in to the exchange between the guy with the whistle and the guy in the television truck. Everyone knows what they ar looking for and why.

Now, not everyone will agree with the final decision: “goal or no-goal, penalty or not a penalty” but, the decision-making is open and above board. Mind you, if you did that, self-appointed guardians of the game's soul such as Mickey Stewart would have a lot less to get aereated about.

I often use this line in my posts, but, there is no harm in repeating it: “opinions are like erse-holes, everyone has one”; Football's law book says “the referee is the sole judge of fact”. He might get his facts wrong on occasions, but, we have to accept he makes his decisions in a fair and unbiased manner. If we think otherwise, it's us that ha the problem and the game will become unplayable.

Part of the problem is, I feel, ex-players, now increasingly influential as media commentators, simply are not journalists and don't have the neutrality to comment properly. After a playing career spent claiming for every decision, they have forgotten how to switch-off.

I actually had no problems with the VAR decisions on Sunday, except, the penalty against Conor Goldson was maybe, under the old laws, a case of the ball “playing” the man. It was deflected onto his arm, ok his arm was in a strange position, but, even if it had been alongside rather than across his body, it would still have hit him – I don't see how he could possibly have got out of the way of it.

But, under the current interpretation of the law, it was a penalty, so we have to live with it. Speaking of Goldson, he had, by my count, three headers inside the penalty box, two came off his shoulder, the other hit his arm. As a header of the ball, he comes a long way down the list of Rangers central defenders. The one half-decent header on the day was at the other end, and it produced the Save of the Game by Jack Butland.

Speaking of aerial work; I remember, over 20 years ago, a chat I had with big Chris Ilewumo, who reckoned, if the sort of lifting which he saw in the lines-out in Rugby Union was brought into Football, he could score a lot more headed goals. I broached the subject with a leading refereee of the time and he said, the referee would immediately penalise any team who employed lifters to get a player that bit higher into the air to meet a cross. Spoilsports.

I cannot help thinking, if they had ploys similar to those in use in Rugby when it came to corner kicks and free-kicks into the box, it would be a better game, with players having to get their lifts right and not being involved in jersey-pulling and setting screens.

Finally, in consigning Sunday's party to history. I just wish Football would try copying Rugby's practice whereby, at the final whistle, the teams line-up faing each other and go down the line shaking hands. Also, there is an age-old custom in that game, whereby, post-match, you seek-out your immediate opponent and buy each other a beer. Maybe Football should try that, it might make for a happier game.

FINALLY – I was just about to post this, whern I noticed Celtic have written to the SFA to complain about Rangers' penalty on Sunday. Talk about spitting the dummy and chucking the toys out of the pram! “Never defeated – always cheated” has been a thing around Celtic Park for so long, it was the lore of the Jungle. Now perhaps the likes of Sir Bob Kelly and the others of The Four Families thought there was some merit in this line of thinking, but, they had too-much class to ever say it in public. The current High Heid Yins at Celtic Park clearly lack the class of the likes of Sir Bob – they are quite prepared to pander to the daftness of the extreme wing of the Green Brigade by actions such as this latest missive to Hampden.

Give the rest of us a break, by such actions you arre only embarrassing yourselves, and besmirching the history of your club.