I HAVE come to the conclusion, the cacophony of sound and fury around 21st century Old Firm matches is in inverse proportion to the quality of the football on-display. Take Sunday's Ibrox offering for instance.
No argument, it oozed excitement, from that opening goal, 21 seconds in, to that stunning equaliser some two hours later, but, the quality of the football left a lot to be desired. Of course, mindful of that gross under-statement of the then High Heid Yin of the SFA, the anonymous administrator who, leaving Hampden Park following the 1960 European Cup Final (Real Madrid 7 Eintracht Frankfort 3), assured the late Hugh McIlvanney: “of course, Scottish football fans would not pay to watch that sort of football every week.” We were never likely to get the chance to test that opinion.
We Scots have always liked our fitba with a side order of bluid and snotters; “Gerrintaerum” and ”rummel 'em up” are apparently officially-sanctioned tactics in the SFA coaching handbook; it is, after all: “a man's gemme son”.
So, if it's a man's gemme, can somebody please explain that Portugeuse laddie's conduct on Sunday. Macho is supposedly a Latin state of mind. So why did wee Fabio Silva, complete with Alice band, spend so-much time on Sunday afternoon rolling around on the ground, clutching various limbs and screaming for his Mammy.
The boy has talent, but not as an actor. He embarrassed himself and his club with his antics on Sunday.
Oner fears for what might have happened to him had he perhaps been facing past Celtic defenders such as Roy Aitken, Tommy Gemmell, Shuggie Edvaldsson or David Hay, to name but four members of the “Take no prisoners” school of defending.
We can only speculate on how he might have fared in Rangers' training games, up against the likes of John Greig, John Brown, Bobby Shearer or Gregor Stevens.
I fear, for all his unquestionable technical ability, Mr Silva is another recent purchase who has to go down in the Not Rangers Class section of the leger. Another to confirm his placing in that category on Saturday was, for me, James Tavernier. For all the goals he scores, he is primarily a defender, but, he is one who cannot defend, as such he stands well down the list of Rangrers; right backs I have seen.
Today's fans are awfy-easy pleased; when you see players getting a round of applause for passing the ball ten yards to an unmarked team mate. At 60-yard cross-field ball, a la Baxter or Murdoch might well stop an Old Firm game today, as the fans suffered mass hysteria at seeing such genius.
Unsurprisingly, the big talking points over Sunday's game were the VAR decisions. I believe a lot of the criticism of the system could be avoided, if football was to take a lesson from Rugby Union in how to use television evidence tosort out controversial incidents.
In rugby, when the TMO gets involved, ther incident being reviewed is shown on the big screen – everyone can see what the referee has been asked to check. Also in rugby, there is a sound link between referee and TMO, so, the crowd, or at least those in it who have got the referee mike link, can listen-in to the exchange between the guy with the whistle and the guy in the television truck. Everyone knows what they ar looking for and why.
Now, not everyone will agree with the final decision: “goal or no-goal, penalty or not a penalty” but, the decision-making is open and above board. Mind you, if you did that, self-appointed guardians of the game's soul such as Mickey Stewart would have a lot less to get aereated about.
I often use this line in my posts, but, there is no harm in repeating it: “opinions are like erse-holes, everyone has one”; Football's law book says “the referee is the sole judge of fact”. He might get his facts wrong on occasions, but, we have to accept he makes his decisions in a fair and unbiased manner. If we think otherwise, it's us that ha the problem and the game will become unplayable.
Part of the problem is, I feel, ex-players, now increasingly influential as media commentators, simply are not journalists and don't have the neutrality to comment properly. After a playing career spent claiming for every decision, they have forgotten how to switch-off.
I actually had no problems with the VAR decisions on Sunday, except, the penalty against Conor Goldson was maybe, under the old laws, a case of the ball “playing” the man. It was deflected onto his arm, ok his arm was in a strange position, but, even if it had been alongside rather than across his body, it would still have hit him – I don't see how he could possibly have got out of the way of it.
But, under the current interpretation of the law, it was a penalty, so we have to live with it. Speaking of Goldson, he had, by my count, three headers inside the penalty box, two came off his shoulder, the other hit his arm. As a header of the ball, he comes a long way down the list of Rangers central defenders. The one half-decent header on the day was at the other end, and it produced the Save of the Game by Jack Butland.
Speaking of aerial work; I remember, over 20 years ago, a chat I had with big Chris Ilewumo, who reckoned, if the sort of lifting which he saw in the lines-out in Rugby Union was brought into Football, he could score a lot more headed goals. I broached the subject with a leading refereee of the time and he said, the referee would immediately penalise any team who employed lifters to get a player that bit higher into the air to meet a cross. Spoilsports.
I cannot help thinking, if they had ploys similar to those in use in Rugby when it came to corner kicks and free-kicks into the box, it would be a better game, with players having to get their lifts right and not being involved in jersey-pulling and setting screens.
Finally, in consigning Sunday's party to history. I just wish Football would try copying Rugby's practice whereby, at the final whistle, the teams line-up faing each other and go down the line shaking hands. Also, there is an age-old custom in that game, whereby, post-match, you seek-out your immediate opponent and buy each other a beer. Maybe Football should try that, it might make for a happier game.
FINALLY – I was just about to post this, whern I noticed Celtic have written to the SFA to complain about Rangers' penalty on Sunday. Talk about spitting the dummy and chucking the toys out of the pram! “Never defeated – always cheated” has been a thing around Celtic Park for so long, it was the lore of the Jungle. Now perhaps the likes of Sir Bob Kelly and the others of The Four Families thought there was some merit in this line of thinking, but, they had too-much class to ever say it in public. The current High Heid Yins at Celtic Park clearly lack the class of the likes of Sir Bob – they are quite prepared to pander to the daftness of the extreme wing of the Green Brigade by actions such as this latest missive to Hampden.
Give the rest of us a break, by such actions you arre only embarrassing yourselves, and besmirching the history of your club.
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