Lisbon Wasn't That Bad - You Might Have Been In Auchinleck

I DISCOVERED, several years ago when compiling my Family Tree – which took me back as far as several martyrs during the Covenanting “Killing Times” that there is a bit of nero-divergence running through my ancestry -one or two ancestors were deemed: “a wee bit funny” - as in funny peculiar rather than funny ha-ha. And before the usual suspects from the massed ranks of Ayrshire Rugby point a finger: “guilty M'Lud”.

My latre elder brother William was always considered, even for a tight-head prop, a wee-bit touched. For instance, he was never a great believer in Murphy's Law – If it can go wrong it will. However, he did hold that O'Reilly's Corollary: Dat Murphy always was an optimist was of far-greater relevance to the modern world.

I commend this approach to those Tartan Army foot soldiers, currently in full Frankie Howard – woe, woe and thrice woe mode following last night's two-goal loss to Portugal in Lisbon.

It has long been one of the pillars of this blog, that Scottish Fitba has to be one of the most crazy-mixed-up areas of sport in the world. No nation has greater and more-glorious wins: Wembley Wizards 1928, Wembley Wizards 1967, Jimmy Cowan's Match 1949, Madrid 1963, or more-disastrous losses: Peru, Iran, Wembley 1955, Wembley 1961, Wembley 1975.

Following Scotland as a Tartan Army foot soldier sometimes looks like a civilian version of the great George Macdonald Fraser's take on the fighting Jocks of the 51^st Division: “They would follow their Anglo-Scottish officers anywhere, usually out of a morbid fascination as to what manner of trouble they would lead them into this time”.

So, while naturally upset at the results against Poland and Portugal, I am not weeping, wailing or renting my clothes asunder – I've seen this movie before.

One of the reasons behind the formation of the UEFA Nations League, the competition we are currently playing in was to better formulate the UEFA and FIFA rankings, by doing away with meaningless friendlies in favour of games which meant something.

On paper this should have played in Scotland's favour, since we have traditionally done better in meaningful games as opposed to “friendlies” or “challenge games”. The reality is, however, the better you do in lesser leagues, eventually you hit your ceiling and find yourself perhaps a wee bit out of your depth. That is where we are at the moment.

Some good results a few years back have got us into the European Nations A League, the international equivalent of the Champions League – we are now playing with the big boys.

{an explanatory paragraph is required here. I have, for the purposes of this post, ignored the overall FIFA Men's rankings; according to that grou0ping, Scotland is the 48^th best country in world football. However, until we qualify for another World Cup, we will not be facing, in a competitive game, some of the nations above us – the African, South American or Asian nations – but we will be facing other European nations. So, for the basis of comparison, I have used each country's UEFA ranking.}

Thus we find, in our Group A of the Nations League, we are in with Portugal (ranked 6 in Europe), Croatia (8) and Poland (15), Scotland is ranked 24 in Europe. There are 16 nations in the four groups in the Nations A League. The only countries ranked lower than us are Israel (37) and Bosnia-Herzegovina (36).

The following countries, all ranked above us, are in League B or lower: England (3), Austria, Ukraine, Turkiye, Sweden, Wales, Russia, Slovakia, Romania, Czechia. In a way, we've got lucky, but our luck has run out and we are swimming with sharks.

So, perhaps those keyboard warriors who are calling for the head of Manager Stevie Clarke, or demanding a cull of the squad, should shut-up and enjoy the ride. I repeat my oft-used words of warning, our game is in such a poor state, it would not matter who we had as manager, we don't have many diamonds, unpolished or polished, among the players the Scotland boss could call on.

If you measure Scotland's standing in European football via how our domestic league is viewed, the situation is slightly better. According to UEFA'S Association Co-efficient table, Scotland's SPFL is the 17^th best league in Europe, and we are competing in the Nations League against Portugal (7), Poland (18) and Croatia (19). Aside from Poland and Croatia, the only other domestic leagues among the Nations League A nations are Serbia (20), Hungary (22) and Bosnia-Herzegovina (39).

Our Associations Co-efficient is defined by the performances of our clubs in the three European club competitions – Champions League, Europa League and the Conference League. The ranking points we earn this season will be accrued by Celtic, Rangers and Hearts.

Each club is mandated to register a 25-man squad for whichever competition they are involved in. This season, Celtic, for the Champions League, have registered 25 players, only 8 of whom (32%) are Scottish. Rangers, in the Europa League, have registered 21 players, only 4 of whom (19%) are Scottish, while Hearts, for their Conference League campaign, have registered 19 players, of whom 9 (47%) are Scottish. So, out of the 65 SPFL-registered players due to play in the three major European competitions this season, only 21 (32%) are actually Scottish.

If Scottish clubs are so unwilling to feature Scottish talent, how can we expect to nurture the necessary quality of player to take the national team to where many of the Tartan Army think it should be?

I like to try to finish on an optimistic note. If you disgruntled Tartan Army foot soldiers, wearily coming back from Lisbon think you've had a hard few days, please spare a thought for those Talbot Bees down in God's County.

Auchinleck Talbot, going out of the Scottish Junior Cup in the second round, beaten 2-3 at Fortress Beechwood, by Lossiemouth United, now that is what you call a bad result.