They Couldn't - Surely?

I AM STARTING to worry; with the luck they have been carrying thus far, this flawed England team just could go all the way and finally end what their deluded fans see as 60 years of hurt and bring it home. Mind you, if they do, it would probably be the biggest boost to the Scottish Independence movement, ever. The only question then would be – just how would the Scottish National Party blow the opportunity?

This is not a good England team – for all he was, in my view, vastly over-rated, the don't have a defensive organiser anywhere close to Bobby Moore's class. Granted, Harry Kane and Jude Bellingham are World Class, Jordan Pickford is a more than capable goalkeeper, but, they have been joined in the squad by one or two who would not get into the Scotland squad.

But, they have ridden their luck and are in the final four, perhaps the best time for them to go out – just as English expectations hit peak hysteria. If they do reach the final, then lose, their media will still sell it as a triumph. Win it, Kane gets his K (knighthood) – lose in the final, he only gets a CBE. Go out in the semi, he maybe gets an OBE.

Meanwhile, Stevie Clarke will be denied the knighthood his stewardship of our team merits.

However, I reckon England is the weakest of the final four sides, but, as old Napoleon Bonaparte insisted: “Give me a General who is lucky” and Thomas Tuchel is certainly riding his luck thus far. Received wisdom has it that France and Spain are the two best sides left, then the argument is over how you rate the other two. Of course, The Donald has been involved in this World Cup and the eventual result could all come down to which nation he wants to win it – and how Infantino pauchles it to get that outcome. Indeed, the only reason I can think of for having England in the final would be to hear what sort of abuse their fans came up with to hurl at The Donald, and how FIFA and the American broadcasters tried to counter that abuse.

THE WORLD CUP hasn't finished yet, but, already, we are into Season 2026-27. The first games in the League Cup kicked off on Saturday, while this midweek sees the first qualifying rounds of the three European competitions concluded. We should perhaps be grateful, the Scottish Professional Football League still has sufficient status to keep our clubs out of these games, but, for how much longer?

It used to be, the fitbas remained in the cupboards until at least the new Open Golf Champion had been crowned.Covering The Open gave our leading fitba writers the chance to demonstrate they could write sensibly on topics other than The Old Firm, it was an enjoyable wee break before the season-long grind of trying to make the duopoly at the top interesting.

My favourite story of Scotland's top fitba writers covering The Open concerns the legend that was Ian “Dan” Archer. Dan covered Sandy Lyle's iconic Open win at Royal St George's in 1985; while he was there he took the opportunity, afforded by the superfast hovercraft service from Dover to Calais, to nip across the channel and enjoy a leisurely lunch at a three-star Michelin eatery just outside Calais – now, that's class. He was still back on the course and able to file his copy in time.

Of course, the best fitba person's Open experience has to be that enjoyed by the former St Mirren director, a gentleman high-up in the banking profession, who had, at very short notice, to arrange accommodation at one Open for Sevvy Ballesteros' father-in-law, who was a honcho for a major Spanish bank.

Our man pulled this off by getting one local manager to vacate his executive house in favour of the Spanish party. The fixer's reward was, on the Sunday, the final round, he was invited to watch the play from inside the ropes, as a member of the Ballesteros posse. As he told me on the following Monday: “After you've watched the final round of The Open from inside the ropes – you never go back to paying to watch.”

THE DRAW for the first two rounds of the Scottish Communities Cup (the Junior Cup as was) was made over the weekend. I found a corker in the second round, with Dufftown: “The malt whisky capital of the world” bracing itself for an invasion from the travelling hordes who follow the mighty Auchinleck Talbot.

The good people of Dufftown are well used to having their peace shattered by visiting American tourists, plus other visitors from elsewhere. I think, however, they will never have seen anything like the Talbot Bees who will follow their side as they embark on the campaign to win the magnificent trophy for a record-stretching 16^th time.

What they will make of the unique Talbot anthem: Eeka Peeka Pucka Po I do not know.

FINALLY – While Fleet Street will be pulling out every trick in the book for Jude Bellingham, for me, the real star of this World Cup is whoever writes the Paddy Power ads. His/her latest – a preview of England v Argentina is hilarious, saying what most of Scotland and Ireland is thinking.

 

Donald Shat His Troosers

THE 2026 FIFA WORLD CUP has not been, as we approach the quarter-finals, a vintage tournament. We have seen just about the worst German squad this century and a pretty poor Brazilian outfit already knocked out. The organisation has been patchy, the refereeing questionable and, the interference we all feared – The Donald sticking his neb in where it wasn't wanted to help the USA – has, naturally occurred.

Sure, there have been some good bits, not least the way the Tartan Army got the party started, before, in time-honoured fashion, the Scots went home early. If this tournament is indeed the last rage against the dying of the light from the likes of Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo, well, since they're in the U S of A, they are taking their cue from Kenny Rogers and going out in a blaze of glory.

However, much as it hurts a Scot to write this, but, thus far, THE game of the tournament was surely Mexico v England. The build-up was something else, all the talk of altered kick-off times, then, the weather produced a last-minute one hour delay. Was it worth staying-up for a 2am kick-off? You bet it was.

This is not a great England team. While they did have the additional goal advantage which the old Wembley gave them at the time, and they did get one goal in the final which would never survive today's goal-line technology and VAR, the winning team of 1966 did contain a number of world-class talents – a handful of players who were arguably the best on the planet in their positions.

The 2026 team does have a couple of players who would be in any “World-Class?” question, and a goalkeeper who is definitely England-class, but, I still believe, the first time they meet a team with attacking flair, their defence will crumble.

For all Mexico's late pressure, their attacks were meat and drink to English defenders, against more-subtle opposition, their back line's deficiencies will be exposed.

But, it was still a tremendous game, and to silence the Azteca was still a magnificent feat. Even we Scots can salute them, before adding – now Erling Haaland & Co – do your thing.

MOST-POPULAR result in the World Cup was surely Belgium 4 – USA 1; an outcome which had the whole world saying: “Get it right up ye' ya Orange Balloon”, after The Donald's intervention to get the USA's Forlarin Balogun reinstated for the game, following a red card.

Hopefully, Trump will not totally spit the dummy, declare war on Belgium then boycott the final. Unlikely, however, he has no sense of self and will probably still think the world loves him. The terrible Infantino will also lord it over the final, utterly convinced, the game at the top level politically is now so-corrupt, his rickly-deserved sacking will not happen.

TIME WAS, there was a joke in there: “What do you call a Scotsman at the World Cup?” - “The Referee”. Our team might have struggled to qualify, but, our referees were highly-rated by FIFA.

In the 1950 tournament, in that seminal final game, in which the world record attendance of 173,8500 crammed into The Maracana, oor ain George Mitchell was one of the linesmen – the first Scot to be scheduled to officiate at a World Cup.

Fifty-two years later, in his second World Cup, Hugh Dallas was Fourth Official for the 2002 World Cup Final, since when, no Scottish official has been honoured with a call-up to officiate at Football's biggerst tournament.

Between Mitchell and Dallas, Scottish referees were regularly asked to strut their stuff at World Cups, the full list is:

• 1950 World Cup – George Mitchell

• 1954 World Cup – Charlie Faultless

• 1958 World Cup – Jack Mowat

• 1962 World Cup – RH (Bobby) Davidson

• 1966 World Cup – Hugh Phillips

• 1970 World Cup – Bobby Davidson

• 1974 World Cup – Bobby Davidson

• 1978 World Cup – JPR (John) Gordon

• 1982 World Cup – Bob Valentine

• 1986 World Cup – No Scottish referee

• 1990 World Cup – George Smith

• 1994 World Cup – Les Mottram

• 1998 World Cup – Hugh Dallas

• 2002 World Cup – Hugh Dallas

Since then, over the last six World Cup Finals, no Scottish referee has been called up. Yet, when you consider some of the controversial – and in some cases completely bewildering – decisions which have been made in the current tournament in North America, you have to wonder what Scotland's referees did to miss out so regularly.

My own theory on our officials' absence is this – Hugh Dallas was sacked by the SFA, on the back of a complaint from the wider Celtic Family, in 2009. Almost immediately, he was appointed to a job with UEFA, and suddenly Scottish referees stopped getting called up to the big tournament.

Or, perhaps it is this. In this 21^st century, the norm has been for teams of officials to be appointed from each country. Now, can somebody name four competent Scottish referees from the past 20 years?

Maybe we should import a couple of retired officials from elsewhere to oversee the SFA's refereeing department and drag standards upwards. Carrying-on as we have been of late clearly isn't working.

 

Paraguayan Footballers Don't Change

ONE OF THE less-documented chapters in the long and tumultuous footballing life of Thomas Henderson Docherty occurred in the summer of 1958. The Doc had played a key role in Scotland qualifying for the World Cup Finals, to be played in Sweden that year.

He had done a superb man-marking job on the great Alfredo de Stefano as Scotland beat Spain at Hampden in their opening qualifier. He then steadied the ship after the SFA Selectors viciously sacked Captain and effective Player-Manager George Young before the return game in Madrid, which Spain won at a canter.

This meant that Scotland had to beat Switzerland in their final qualifier to reach Sweden and in the match, at Hampden, Docherty gave a true Captain's performance to drag us over the line to Sweden.

However, after a 0-4 thrashing from England, back at Hampden in April, 1958, Doc was dropped; he remained in the 22-man squad which travelled to Sweden, but he was by then very-much in the “only to be used if everyone else is injured” category.

So, while the selected team prepared to open the tournament against Yugoslavia, in Västerås, Doc and Clyde's Archie Robertson were despatched to Norrköping to spy on next opponents Paraguay, who were playing France.

They reported back that the Paraguayans were very enthusiastic, but liked to “put it about a bit” and Scotland should prepare themselves for a bit of a battle. Doc went to his grave convinced that the SFA High Heid Yins totally ignored his report. Any way, a couple of rare goalkeeping errors from Captain Tommy Younger, which ended his Scotland career after 24 straight games, gifted the South Americans two goals in a 2-3 defeat.

In his match report for the next day's Glasgow Herald, Cyril Horne, the great Herald reporter, legendary for putting a Glesca Kiss on a gloating Uruguayan football writer four years previously, wrote: “This Paraguayan team is one of the poorest I have seen in international football. Their greatest assets were their tremendous enthusiasm and the variety of unfair tricks they employed.”

Mr Horne was typically incisive in his view on the match referee, Italian official Vincenzo Orlandini, of whom he wrote: “Signor Orlandini, for whom in the past I have had great respect, was a very poor referee indeed. The Paraguayan outside left kicked a Scot at least a dozen times after he had been outwitted, but the only punishment he suffered was a talking-to.”

What, one wonders, would today's SFA High Heid Yins make of Horne's brutal summing-up: “The tactics of Paraguay apart, Scotland lost this match because of goalkeeping errors, weak play at right back and poor shooting – the last the very fault that has been so apparent in recent months in every Scottish team.”

Fast forward 68 years and plus ca change. Scotland goes out of a World Cup because of our errors at the back and our inability to score, while Paraguay are roundly condemned when a weak referee allows them to reduce a game to a kicking match.

Mind you, today's Scotland stars might prefer, following a defeat, if the Scdottish press restricts themselves, as the Herald did the next day. To a report on the progress of the five Scotland players injured in the game. No hysterical four-page post-mortem on the loss.

Having watched that Paraguay v France match on Saturday night, I have only two thoughts:

1. Why didn't Didier Deschamps pull Mbappé and Dembele, to save them from possible injury at the hands of Paraguayan defenders who were in full head-hunting mode?

2. How bad must Scottish referees be, that we don't have a single official at this World Cup? When you reflect on how such a terrible referee as Ilgiz Tantashev of Uzbekistan can, after his rank rotten performance in our group game against Morocco, be given a knock-out game, in which, if anything he was even worse, our referees must be even worse than we think they are.

Scotland - Always Travelling Hopefully - Never Arriving

THE ONE consistent thing about Scottish international football since we first took to the world stage in 1950 has been our inability to meet our expectations.

Since our initial tilt at global or pan-European competition at the 1950 World Cup, we have entered either the World Cup or the European Championships 35 times. In these 35 tournaments, we have qualified in 14 and slipped amongst the also-rans in 21 – a 40% qualification rate.

Not particularly impressive, but, still a lot better than our non-success when we have reached the main tournament – where we have yet to advance beyond the initial group stage on all 13 occasions when we competed.

Our grim record is listed below:

• 1950 World Cup – Qualified 6 of 16 European entrants – did not travel

• 1954 World Cup – Qualified 8 of 26

• 1958 World Cup – Qualified 8 of 27

• 1962 World Cup – 12 of 28 – Failed to Qualify

• 1966 World Cup – 14 of 29 – Failed to Qualify

• 1968 Euros – 9 of 31 – Failed to Qualify

• 1970 World Cup – 12 of 29 – Failed to Qualify

• 1972 Euros – 21 of 32 – Failed to Qualify

• 1974 World Cup – Qualified 6 of 32

• 1976 Euros – 18 of 32 – Failed to Qualify

• 1978 World Cup – Qualified 6 of 31

• 1980 Euros – 22 – of 30 – Failed to Qualify

• 1982 World Cup – Qualified 5 of 31

• 1984 Euros – 24 of 32 – Failed to Qualify

• 1986 World Cup – Qualified 13 of 32

• 1988 Euros – 16 of 32 – Failed to Qualify

• 1990 World Cup – Qualified 12 of 32

• 1992 Euros – Qualified 5 – 33

• 1994 World Cup – 22 of 36 – Failed to Qualify

• 1996 Euros – Qualified 12 of 47

• 1998 World Cup – Qualified 10 of 49

• 2000 Euros – 20 of 50 – Failed to Qualify

• 2002 World Cup – 26 of 50 – Failed to Qualify

• 2004 Euros – 20 of 50 – Failed to Qualify

• 2006 World Cup - 24 of 52 – Failed to Qualify

• 2008 Euros – 16 of 50 – Failed to Qualify

• 2010 World Cup – 27 of 53 – Failed to Qualify

• 2012 Euros – 27 of 51 – Failed to Qualify

• 2014 World Cup – 34 of 53 – Failed to Qualify

• 2016 Euros – 28 of 53 – Failed to Qualify

• 2018 World Cup – 20 of 54 – Failed to Qualify

• 2020 Euros – Qualified 24 of 55

• 2022 World Cup – 16 of 55 – Failed to Qualify

• 2024 Euros – Qualified 14 of 55

• 2026 World Cup – Qualified 6 of 54

In these tournaments, the results statistics are:

• World Cup Qualifiers: p 142 – w 73 – d 31 – l 38 – for 232 – agnst 153 - 51% wins – 59% of available points won

• European Championship qualifiers: p 130 – w 62 – d 30 – l 38 – f 200 – agn 145 - 48% wins – 55% of available points won

• World Cup Final Tournament games: p 26 – w 5 – d 7 – l 14 – for 26 – agnst 45 - 19% wins – 28% of available points won

• European Championship Final Tournament games: p 12 – w 2 – d 3 – l7 – for 5 – agnst 18 – 17% wins – 25% of available points won

• Overall: p 310 – w 142 – d 71 – l 97 – for 463 – agnst 361 – 46% wins – 53% of available points won

So, while our performances are fairly consistent whether we are competing in the European Championships or the World Cup, we have tended to do better in the World event, where we have qualified for the finals in 10 of our 20 qualifying attempts – a 50% success rate. In Europe, we have only qualified in 4 of our 15 qualification attempts – a 27% success rate.

We are now in our eighth decade of truly competitive international football, playing nations from across Europe and the World, whereas from the 1870s until the 1940s we only played competitively against the other British Isles nations. These eight decades have seen us slump from being one of the top eight nations in Europe to now being a mid-table side. The results in each decade are:

• 1950s – average European ranking 8 – qualifying success 3 from 3 – 100%

• 1960s – average ranking 13 – qualifying success 0 from 3 – 0%

• 1970s – average ranking 12 – qualifying success 2 from 5 – 40%

• 1980s – average ranking 16 – qualifying success 2 from 5 – 40%

• 1990s – average ranking 12 – qualifying success 4 from 5 – 80%

• 2000s - average ranking 21 – qualifying success 0 from 5 – 0%

• 2010s – average ranking 25 – qualifying success 0 from 5 – 0%

• 2020s – average ranking 14 – qualifying success 3 from 4 – 75%

Worryingly however, when we do qualify for a final tournament, we have a tendancy to under-perform, as this table shows. It should be noted, our qualification process is always against other European nations, thus, in addition to how we perform overall in World Cup Finals, we have to compare our performances there against that of the other European nations which qualify; the results are:

• 1954 World Cup – Qualified 11 of 26 European entrants : finished 11th European - 15th of 16

• 1958 World Cup – Qualified 11 of 27 : finished 11th European - 14^th of 16

• 1974 World Cup – Qualified 8th of 27 : finished 7th European - 9^th of 16

• 1978 World Cup – Qualified 6th of 31 : finished 7^th European - 10^th of 16

• 1982 World Cup – Qualified 5th of 31 : finished 13^th European - 15^th of 24

• 1986 World Cup – Qualified 13th of 32 : finished 13^th European – 19 of 24

• 1990 World Cup – Qualified 12th of 32 : finished 13^th European – 18 of 24

• 1992 Euros – Qualified 5th of 33 : finished 5^th of 8

• 1996 Euros – Qualified 12^th of 47 : finished 12^th of 16

• 1998 World Cup – Qualified 10^th of 49 : finished 14^th of 15 – 26^th of 32

• 2020 Euros – Qualified 24^th of 55 : finished 22^nd of 24

• 2024 Euros – Qualified 14^th of 55 : finished 24^th of 24

• 2026 World Cup – Qualified 12^th of 55 – finished 15^th of 16 - 35^th of 48

Only twice, in 13 tournaments for which we have qualified for the finals – in the 1974 World Cup and at Euro 2020 have we bettered our qualifying performance when it matters. Is it perhaps a Scottish thing – that it is better to travel hopefully than to arrive? Whatever, we have still to break through the glass ceiling into the knock-out phase of the finals.

Since we joined the rest of the world in 1950, our median position in the European nations pecking order has been 15^th, while we have generally succeeded in qualifying for the finals in 45% of the two major international tournaments. Stevie Clarke, having led us to three of the last four tournaments, leaves us slightly ahead of the game, can his successor cheer-up the nation by taking us even higher?

Can whoever gets the job get us where we want to be, into the sharp end of either of the major tournaments? That is the big question and our great hope.

 

The Best Of Times - The Worst Of Times

THIS IS the best time to be Chief Football Writer for a mainstream Scottish media outlet, but 2026 brings additional joy. Instead of writing the normal midsummer pish - outrageous rumours about who The Ugly Glasgow Sisters are about to recruit, this close season, they have the added bonus of speculating on who is going to pick up the poisoned chalice, recetly discarded by Stevie Clarke, and become the new Scotland boss.

What joy: freedom to regurgitate any old rumours, carte blanche to make-up pish, a free pass to let your mind run free and all in the certainty, it's impossible to second guess the gigantic minds along the sixth floor corridor at Hampden – because, collectively, that lot haven't enough brain power to blow their bunnets off should they collectively explode.

Well, it will fill column centimetres, but, the elephant in the room will be left unmolested – because the truth is – it doesn't matter who gets the gig, under our warped system of football governance, Scotland will continue to be what we have been almost from the day International Football became truly thus – a lower mid-table nation on the periphery of the game at the top level.

You could make a reasonable argument for suggesting, up until the end of the 1920s, Scotland was one of the leading nations in the international game – mainly because, we ignored the rest of the world, being quite content to play against only England, Ireland and Wales.

Our record against the other three Home Nations as the four British associations were collectively known was a good one. At the end of the 1928-29 season, the record in the Home International Championship was:

• Scotland – 23 wins

• England – 20 wins

• Wales – 4 wins

• Ireland – 2 wins

Scotland was also in a dominant position in the head-to-head meetings with the other three, for instance, Alec Cheyne's iconic goal, direct from a corner, which won the 1929 meeting and allegedly gave birth to The Hampden Roar clinched Scotland's 24^th win over The Auld Enemy, who had only beaten The Jocks 15 times. Our lead over the Irish and Welsh was even-more emphatic.

Over the ten years up until World War II, we continued to hold sway, in the ten fixtures of the 1930s, we beat England by five wins to four with one draw.

After the war and with the Home Nations back in the bosum of FIFA – everything changed. England appointed Walter Winterbottom, a former Manchester United wing-half as their first Team Manager in 1946; and while he did not pick the team, under his tenure, England began to cut into our lead in head-to-head victories, while England became better than us internationally. The SFA clung-on to control, long-serving Secretary Sir George Graham insisted, with Rangers' George Young as Captain, we didn't need a Team Manager.

I have been assured by international team mates of his that Young was indeed the Scotland Team Manager in all but name. Including the games against Austria and Hungary, on the 1955 end of season European Tour, when he was injured and couldn't play but directed operations from the dug out, Young led the side in 50 internationals, the record in these games reads:

• 30 wins

• 7 draws

• 13 defeats

• 60% wins

• 65% available points won

• 1.95 points per game

That record should earn Young a place on the top shelf of any pantheon of Scottish managers.

When Rangers' club commitments meant Young wasn't available for the 1954 World Cup, the SFA Selection Committee appointed Huddersfield Town Manager Andy Beattie as part-time team boss, but, this was hardly a marriage made in Heaven, and, after losing their opening game, to Austria 0-1, Beattie had had enough of interference from the blazers and resigned, although he was prevailed upon to take the team in their second game – the notorious 0-7 loss to Uruguay which signalled us crashing out of the tournament.

Young came back to set Scotland en route to qualification for the 1958 World Cup Finals in Sweden; his thanks, to not be selected for what he had hoped would be his final international, against Spain, in The Bernabeau – which we lost 1-4.

The next decade saw Scotland stumble along. The Selectors continued to pick the team while various Team Managers prepared the squads, with varying degrees of success.

Beattie had a second go at the job, with no more success than first time round. Ian McColl managed a credible near 61% winning ration, but was sacked after back-to-back draws with England and European Champions Spain. Jock Stein was brought in to get us to the 1966 World Cup in England, but couldn't manage it, then after short spells with John Prentice and Malcolm Macdonald in-charge, in 1967, Bobby Brown was appointed as our first full-time Team Manager, and was also given the right to select the squads.

Apart from perhaps one or two of the backwoodsmen in SFA blazers, this switch to giving the Team Manager absolute authority, including over team selection was met with huge approval – by the fans, and in particular by the fans with typewriters from the mainstream media. However, in a definite case of being careful what you wish for, here are the relevant statistics:

Scotland's record when the Selectors picked the team and either the Captain or a Team Manager prepared the team:

• p 321 – w 177 – d 62 – l 82 – w 55% - points per game 1.85

Scotland's record when the team is selected and managed by a Team Manager:

• p 535 – w 227 – d 121 – l 187 - w 42% – ppg 1.5

Opinions naturally vary, but, it generally believed that the hardest part of coaching a team is team selection, getting the balance right so a team performs to its optimum potential.

I am not saying we go back to the bad old days when the SFA Selection Committee was all-powerful, so that a guy who was a butcher, baker or candlestick-maker from Monday to Friday could suddenly, by putting on his SFA blazer and sitting in a directors' box on a Saturday become the all-knowing judge of whether or not a particular player was international class.

That system may have got us some big wins, but, it also produced several One-Cap Wonders whose performances in the Scotland jersey had the Tartan Army, to a man, wondering – how did he manage to get picked for Scotland?

Maybe there is a case for something like the All Black's system in Rugby Union, where the Head Coach is a Selector, but, he is not the only guy picking the team and he has other qualified guys assisting him in answering the selection dilemmas.

Such a system might get us into the knock-out stages of the big competitions, but, I fear it will still not cure the blatant failings in our system of football governance.