Socrates Sings Paper Roses

 

DEREK McINNES as the new Kilmarnock manager – maybes aye, maybes naw; we'll wait and see. He certainly has a good track record in Scotland, but, as a long-time Killie fan, I feel the current board, like so many Rugby Park boards before them, hasn't thought this one through properly.

Take the length of Derek's contract – 18 months. What can he achieve in that time? Promotion, either by winning the Championship, or via the end-of-season play-offs, well, that has to be the first priority.

Assuming he does that, part two has to be getting Kilmarnock back to where we fans think the club should be, top six in the Premiership. That's going to be the hard part. If he can do these two things, which are the minimum I am looking for, ok, maybe he can get a new contract, or, and this might suit him better, he could maybe get a bigger job on the back of his success at Kilmarnock.

Derek's managerial record is interesting. He has been in-charge at three clubs: St Johnstone, Bristol City and Aberdeen. According to Wikipedia, he has managed 618 games, winning 290, drawing 142 and losing 186.

This gives him an overall winning percentage of 46.93% of the games managed. This is a good record for a man who has not had charge of a major club – one with presumptions of winning a league championship or national trophy regularly. In all he has onlywon two trophies as a manager, the First Division title with St Johnstone in 2008-09 and the League Cup, with Aberdeen in 2013-14.

However, winning trophies with Kilmarnock would definitely count as a welcome bonus, given our club's past record. What the fans will want, as a starting point, is for Killie to get back into the Premiership, then become hard to beat.

Given McInnes' record, we can harbour such expectations. His “not losing games' record as a manager stands at 69.79% - he has won or drawn 432 of the 618 games he has managed. Even when he “failed” at Bristol City, he won or drew 31 games, only losing 32.

So, if he can galvanise the team, get us promoted, we can look forward to better times ahead. From where the club currently is, I think that's all we are asking.

However, as a fan, I am greedy for more. Difficult though it might be to achieve this, I would love to see Kilmarnock back to where they were when I first began to attend Rugby Park, in 1959.

Back then, Kilmarnock had, under Malcolm MacDonald, been runners-up in the 1957 Scottish Cup. Willie Waddell then took over and his record as manager was:

• Managed 389 – won 215 – drew 76 – lost 98 – wins percentage 55.27% - did not lose percentage 76.6%.

Under Waddell, the club's finishing positions in the old First Division were: Fifth – eighth – second – second – fifth – second – second – first.

In the Scottish Cup, under Waddell, Kilmarnock reached: Last 16 – quarter-finals – Runners-up – last 32 – quarter-finals – last 32 – semi-finals – quarter-finals.

In the League Cup, under Waddell, Kilmarnock reached: Quarter-finals – semi-finals – third in section, dnq for knock-out stages – runners-up – second in section, dnq – runners-up – second in section dnq – second in section, dnq.

Championees!!!

 

The Waddell Years showed what Kilmarnock could do, I would like to see the club back there.

Waddell was at Rugby Park for eight seasons. In the eight seasons prior to his arrival the club's finishing league positions were: Eighth in Division 2 (24^th) - twelfth in D2 (28^th) – fifth in D2 (20^th) – fourth in D2 (20^th) – second in D2 – promoted - (18^th) – tenth – eighth – third. So, he joined a team which had generally been on the up – Killie had enjoyed a better league finish in each of the six seasons prior to his arrival.

In the eight seasons following his departure, the club's final league positions were: Third – seventh – seventh – fourth – seventh - 13^th - 11^th - 17^th (relegated). That relegation, in season 1972-73, along with Airdrie, was followed by the same two teams bouncing straight back up in 1973-74. They finished 12^th in 1974-75, so didn't make it into the inaugural top ten, when the Premier Division started in 1975-76.

So, the Waddell Effect didn't last long at Rugby Park. Under Waddell, they had been a full-time club, offering, with Hearts, the most-consistent challenge to Scot Symon's all-conquering Rangers. But, by the time Jock Stein's Celtic ruled the roost, Killie were struggling – they have never really looked like getting back to where they were during the Waddell Years.

Perhaps, if Stevie Clarke had stayed longer, Killie could have remained one of the leading clubs, but, Scotland's need was greater than Kilmarnock's. For me, Derek McInnes' biggest challenge will be to – once he gets us back into the top flight, seeing if he can bring about a 21^st century version of the Waddell Years in the first half of that decade – the 1960s.

If I can offer some advice to Derek McInnes, take a leaf from the Waddell play-book, who always had a good number of Ayrshiremen in his first team. The Kilmarnock team which I first followed was: Jimmy Brown (Buckhaven); Jim Richmond (Blantyre), Matt Watson (Paisley), Frank Beattie ( Bannockburn) Willie Toner (Shettleston), Bobby Kennedy (Motherwell), Rab Stewart (Kilmarnock), Jackie McInally (Ayr), Andy Kerr (Lugar), Bertie Black (Lugar), Billy Muir (Kilwinning).

An all-Ayrshire forward line, and having locals in the side was a feature of the Waddell Years – look at the league-winning squad: Bobby Ferguson, Andy King, Jim McFadzean, Davie Sneddon, Ronnie Hamilton, Eric Murray, all Ayrshiremen. The best Kilmarnock teams have always been loaded with locals – let's get back to this, there has never been a lack of talent in God's County – find it, nurture it and watch Kilmarnock flourish.

More Old Firm Pish - And An Award For A Good Guy

I REALLY worry at the thought processes of some fans – (always assuming they are capable of rational thought). I managed a wry smile on Ne'erday, when I chanced upon a Celtic group page on Facebook. Those members of the Family who read the page were absolutely wetting themselves at the news, “Sevcovians are raging at their club's lack of activity during the January transfer window.”

This follows speculation that Rangers will not be doing much business this month, because they don't have the money. Celtic meanwhile, ended 2021 by signing three new Japanese players – I suppose this could be deigned a “Tora, Tora, Tora” moment down Parkhead way.

However, let's throw a bucket of ice-cold water on the celebrations. I pen these words on 1 January, 2022.

• The window has just opened, it does not close until one minute to midnight, on Monday, 31 January

• Most significant deals are done towards the end of the window

• A lot can therefore happen over the next 30 days.

As things stand, Rangers are six points clear of Celtic at the top of the table, after 20 of the requisite 38 games. Rangers have won 16, drawn 3 and lost just 1 of their games thus far, for 51 points. Celtic have won 14 games, drawn 3 and lost 3, for 45 points.

Rangers have collected points at the rate of 2.55 per game, scoring goals at a rate of 2.15 goals per game, while con=ceding 0.7 goals per game.

Celtic have collected points at the rate of 2.25 gpg, scoring at a rate of 2.10 gpg and conceding 0.6 gpg. In every measurement, except goals conceded, Rangers are ahead of their rivals.

Therefore, in spite of changing managers mid-season so far, Rangers have the better record.

If they continue to accrue points at this rate, Rangers will end the season with 97 points, overtake them and lift the league title, Celtic will need to win 2.79 points per game, or, to put it another way, they will have to win 53 of the 57 points which are available to them between now and the final game. Or, to put it yet another way, their performances will have to improve by a smidgen other 30% EVERY game.

Rangers don't really have to change anything, merely continue to be as-efficient as they have been thus far. The pressure is firmly on Celtic, to up their game and overtake them.

There will be three further Old Firm games this season. Should Celtic win all three, the chances are, they will go on to win the league. If they cannot win all three, then they will need Rangers to drop more points against “the diddy teams” than they themselves do.

Things will get interesting when hostilities resume, but, there is definitely more pressure on Celtic, to hit the ground running and claw back Rangers' current advantage.

And, of course, if the rumoured Nathan Patterson to Everton transfer does happen, this will add something between £10 million and £16 million to the Rangers' war chest.

Small beer in English Premiership terms, but, in Scottish terms, this does give Gio van Bronckhorst wriggle room, should be feel he needs to augment his squad.

Mind you, selling Patterson endorses the view, Rangers, like Celtic before them, have realised the reality of 21^st century football – since they play in what is, in commercial terms, a football backwater – the Old Firm, for all their great history, are no longer major European clubs.

Their future is in bringing through and selling-on young talent, such as Kieran Tierney and Patterson, whom they then sell-on to clubs, probably with less-distinguished histories, but playing in bigger leagues.

Yet, if/when, we finally get an NFL/NBA/NHL-style European football league, with their rivalry and fan bases, any such competition would want them on-board. Getting the two clubs into such a competition – provided it was properly organised and managed - could be the salvation of Scottish football.

ONE OF the true stalwarts of Scottish Fitba was recognised over the Ne'erday Holiday, when it was revealed that Henry Dumigan is Auchinleck's Citizen of the Year.

Henry Dumigan with a familiar trophy - the Scottish Junior Cup

This honour is richly-deserved, since Henry has, for most of the past 40 years, been Secretary of Auchinleck Talbot.

To those not from God's County, the significance of being the local junior team's secretary will be unknown. The fitba team secretary carries major prestige and with it massive pressure in Ayrshire. He's the man who has to liaise with the several different characters on the committee, keeping them more-or-less heading in the same direction.

He has to keep it real with the team manager, deal with the complaints of the supporters and generally keep the many plates spinning across a long season. It's a thankless job, even at Talbot, by common consent just about the best-run team in Scotland.

Henry learned from among the best, his mentors were Davie Loy, who was still involved with Talbot in his tenth decade and the late Malcolm Donnachie. He has been luciky too with the managers he has worked with, such as the legends that are Willie Knox and current incumbent Tucker Sloan.

He has had to sign for and look after over 70 trophies and deal with an increaisng work-load as Talbot has evolved from a successful Junior club, to a successful non-league senior one.

And, even before he receives his Citizen of the Year trophy, he's got the small matter of organising Talbot's Scottish Cup clash with Hearts, at Beechwood Park, later this month.

However, I have no doubts, Henry will tackle this task with the same quiet efficiency he has shown over the years in matters Talbot. Former SJFA Supremo Tom Johnston, and Henry's opposite number from Cumnock Juniors, past SJFA President George Morton tried for years to get Henry to become involved in the minefield of SJFA politics, he has always refused – for Henry, Talbot comes first and last.

Congratulations Henry.

Politicians - A Lot Of Hot Air To Little Effect

I APPRECIATE, when it comes to 21^st century politicians, we are dealing with a fairly rum bunch, particularly in the United Kingdom. We've got the worst Prime Minister in living memory – arguably ever; a Leader of the Opposition who only got the job because his predecessor was too left wing for the powers-that-be in the party of the left, and the guy who now has the job was seen as the least-worst of a poor lot. We need not bother ourselves with the Liberal Party and when it comes to Holyrood – jings, crivvens, help ma Boab – to coin a phrase.

We've got a First Minster, supposedly from a pro-Independence party who is less-willing to mention Independence than Basil Fawlty would mention the War in front of German guests. The Scottish Tories are led by a linesman, Scottish Labour by a total chancer, the Liberals by a hauf-wit, who took over from a quarter-wit, while the Greens, led by cauld kail personified. Aye, we're in a raw state.

But, last week a leading Scottish politician, John Swinney, plumbed new depths, when he called on Scottish football fans to not go to games to prevent the further spread of Covid.

Brave call John, but, you're mainly dealing with Celtic fans here, and they have a complete mind of their own – they barely ever listen to their own club's high heid yins, with whom they are mostly at war.

Mind you, I think Swinney only still has a job, because he knows where the bodies are buried, could probably do for Sturgeon in her efforts to get rid of Alex Salmond, and keeping a big job, rather than any talent, is his price for staying.

To my mind, there is no question, but that Scottish football needs root and branch reform, would be better for a winter shut-down, and, while I will readily concede, the Scottish Government has handled Covid a Hell of a lot better than that bunch of hooks, crooks and comic singers down in that there London, I would like to think they could have done better.

Instead of relying on a better nature which those he was addressing do not possess, I think if Swinney wants to get involved in Scottish fitba, he should start by telling the time-servers along the sixth floor corridor to sort things out – or no more government assistance or funding. That might get them working.

WHEN I WAS “on the tools” covering football as my main sports-writing interest, I dubbed myself: “the only neutral in Ayrshire,” since I covered Kilmarnock one week – Ayr United the next. I had my own 'phone lines and regular press box seats at both grounds – although very-occasionally one of the Glasgow A team would have to be decanted when sent out to “the sticks.”

These were good days, and I made some very-good friends among the staff and regulars at both grounds. So, while my Kilmarnock bromance goes back to the 1950s and Andy Kerr, Bertie Black & Co, I have fond memories too of the days of Ally MacLeod and the likes of Templeton, Walker and Sludden at Somerset Park.

Therefore, it gars me greet to see both clubs looking for new managers at this time of year. The Honest Men are flirting with the Scottish Championship relegation zone, and while KIllie are three places higher, and 14 points better off in the same division – that's not where I and the rest of the Kilmarnock Army want our side to be.

Both boards therefore have big decisions to make, choices which they need to get right, before hopeful pushes for higher and better things in the New Year.

IT'S A RUNNING joke in Scottish football at the moment – that referees have been , in the event of a match being goalless, told to keep playing until Celtic score. At least with Rangers, the old certainties still accrue – we keep playing till Rangers get a penalty.

I gather the referee at Paisley the other night is in deep doo-dah, since he only played six minutes over time. Of course, if football was run properly, and the playing field was indeed level, we would have 90 minutes “ball in play.” The clock would stop every time the ball went out of play, or the referee blew his whistle. Time keeping would be out of the hands of the referee, there would be a highly-visible game clock in every ground, and there would be no arguments.

Well, there still would be, this is Scotland after all.

THE GUARDIAN this week published their list of the 100 top footballers in the world – 11 of them were English.

So, if they're that good, how come they couldn't beat Scotland, a nation which didn't have a single player nominated? Yes, you read that right, the likes of Trent Alexander-Arnold of Liverpool and Jack Grealish of Aston Villa are in there, but, their superior team mates, Scots Andrew Robertson and John McGinn don't get a mention.

TARBOLTON, or Tarbouton in the local lingo is one of these strange Ayrshire mining villages of legend. It used to fit Donald Finlay QC's description of his own birthplace in Fife: “eight thousand of a population – four surnames.”

Tarbolton is a bit more cosmopolitan these days. It also has its share of sporting icons: Tommy Gemmell 1, the under-capped, cultured St Mirren inside forward of the 1950s was from the village, as was former European boxing champion Evan Armstrong, and the great former Scotland rugby captain and British Lions icon Ian 'Mighty Mouse' McLauchlan.

Today's top trumps in Tarbolton sporting icons is Kris Boyd, who its perhaps fair to say, causes Celtic more bother from his press seat than he ever did when scoring goals for Kilmarnock, Rangers and Scotland.

Boydie's every utterance seems to drive a large section of the Celtic Family to a frenzy. He regularly gives Chris Sutton lessons in the gentle art of the wind-up. I can see Boydie having a long and lucrative media career.

FINALLY, Ayrshire Junior Football, and in particular Cumnock Juniors lost a legend just before Christmas, with the death of Jim 'Buller' Reid, from the effects of Covid. Coming as it did, hard on the heels of the death of Billy 'Bongo” Smith, this was a very-rough double blow to a club which is not having a stellar season.

  

While Bongo worked his magic on the park, then off it as a brilliant coach, Buller was never more than a fan, a committed one at that. He was also one of life's natural comedians, a talent he put to good use around the working men's clubs of Ayrshire and beyond.

If your club was financially-stretched, or if you wished to raise some money for a good cause, all you had to do was have a word with Buller, and he would put together a show, with his gang of fellow entertainers: Buller and Friends, and a good turn-out and a healthy financial return was assured.

He graduated to the after-dinner-speaking circuit, and it was well-known in Ayrshire, that if Buller was speaking at the likes of a Sportsman's Dinner, one or two of the supposed big-names from Glasgow would excuse themselves – they didn't like to be shown up by a guy, whose day job was as janitor of a primary school.

Some of Buller's best one-liners were honed, off the cuff, watching his beloved Cumnock. Allan Crow, long-serving Editor of The Fife Free Press and one of the leading writers on ice hockey, still gets red-faced when reminded how, as a young tyro with the Cumnock Chronicle, as he walked to his spot at Townhead Park, he was greeted by Buller calling: “Oh look, it's Lord Affleck,” a reference to what Buller viewed as a pro-Talbot slant to Mr Crow's football reports.

Buller and I went back to pre-primary school days, when he and his parents lived in “The Dandy Raw” in Lugar. This gave Buller the right to be highly-critical of my writings, a right he pursued with gusto. The Reids were re-located to Cumnock, where he fell-in with a bad crowd at Townhead Park.

Buller was never President of Cumnock, he should have been, but, back then Cumnock went further than the other Ayrshire clubs. Every one elected the Village Idiot to the committee, but, as I repeatedly told Buller, only Cumnock would elect the VI President, so, as one of the sharpest minds around the club, he was never going to get the job.

Worse public speakers and entertainers have been awarded MBEs. OBEs. CBEs and yes knighthoods, without ever raising the sums of money for good causes, and entertaining the public as well as Buller did.

He was a truly great guy, who will be sadly missed in Ayrshire and beyond. My sympathies are with his family at this terrible time.

In a recent blog post, I referred to Ally McCoist as “A National Treasure,” well, by the same measurement. Jim Reid was an East Ayrshire Treasure, we should cherish his memory.

National Treasures Occasionally Upset The Nation

NATIONAL TREASURE is an English construct – a title given to the likes of Judi Dench, Maggie Smith, Delia Smith, Mary Berry, Joanna Lumley, French and Saunders, Bobby Charlton, Ian Botham, or Ian McKellen, to name but a few.Generally, the status is conferred on someone acceptable to 'Middle England' who has been around for years.

It's not a status we Jocks pay much attention to, for the simple reason, anyone who enjoys some success up here, usually, and who can blame them, fucks off to warmer climes, if only to escape that great Scottish antidote to success and getting 'A Big heid': “Him, Ah kent his faither.”

 

But, if we ever felt the need to have Tartan National Treasures, well, Ally McCoist would probably be in there alongside the likes of Sir Billy Connolly, Denis Law, Kenny Dalglish and Allan Wells. However, he did himself no favours with his all-too-brief cameo appearance on SPOTY on Sunday night. His over-view of the Scottish Football Year was definitely only for Bluenose consumption, no mention of how the feats of the national team, under Stevie Clarke have lifted all our spirits; he passed-over his old club St Johnstone's cup successes as quickly as he could.

It was almost as if somebody in the BBC Sport Head Office in Manchester sent out instructions: “Get Coisty to do 30 seconds, if only to shut-up the Sweaties.”

I suppose we will have to wait for Independence before we get a half-decent review of the Scottish Sporting Year, in football or any other sport; we cannot expect the District Commissioners at Pacific Quay to do anything likely to upset the higher-ups in Manchester or London.

Still, seeing Jen Beattie win The Helen Rollason Award was an unexpected pleasure, JR's daughter thoroughly deserves the praise for her very-public battle against Breast Cancer.

CONGRATULATIONS to Celtic on winning their 20^th League Cup. The romantics among us were probably hoping managerless Hibernian could upset the hot favourites, but, this was one Christmas fairy story which was always unlikely.

Japanese striker Kyogo Furuhashi was again Celtic's main man, although, as is now seemingly his norm, he upset a lot of people with his well-known propensity for going to ground at the flimsiest excuse. Quite honestly, I don't think the likes of Jock Stein or Billy McNeill would have put-up with his “simulation”. He might be the worst offender, but, he is not alone in modern football – every club seems to have a player who wants to be Tom Daley.

You sort of wonder what Kyogo would have done if faced with a John Greig, or (in the interests of balance) a Tommy Gemmell – guys who had no time for divers, whose attitude to them (although there were fewer about in the 1960s and 1970s) was: “Here Son, Ah'll gie ye somethin' tae dive aboot.”.

ONE OF my class-mates at “The Academy,” as we called our seat of learning in East Ayrshire, to differentiate it from inferior Academies in Ayr, Kilmarnock, Glasgow and Edinburgh dropped me his annual Christmas message over the weekend.

Jimmy achieved his life's ambition in his teens, when he pulled on Auchinleck Talbot's black and gold stripes, at a time when the 'Bot winning a corner set-off massive celebrations. These were the fallow years BWK, before Willie Knox arrived to set the standards now being maintained and even surpassed by Tucker Sloan.

Having played for Talbot, Jimmy turned to rugby, and, the minute his NCB apprenticeship was over, he headed south, to University. Today, retired, he lives in the West Sussex stockbroker belt in some comfort and relies on the likes of me to keep him informed on events back home.

I had to inform him that Talbot will be entertaining Hearts in a televised Scottish Cup tie in the New Year. Like many Ayrshire Exiles, he has difficulty getting his head round this, but, he is learning.

Going to Fortress Beechwood will be a difficult experience for some of the Hearts players. In fact, I think even Craig Gordon will find it an interesting afternoon.

Even for Craig Gordon, Beechwood Park will be a whole new experience
 

When I heard the draw, I was reminded of a story told me by a former Rangers player, who, as a young tyro at Ibrox, was sent down to Beechwood to play in a testimonial.

This was back in the days when shorts were short, and, as he came out to warm-up he was greeted by two of the Auchinleck equivalents of a 'Cougar' or 'MILF', who invited him to: “Come ower here Son, an' gie's a feel o' yer gnadgers.” It is an encounter which left a mental scar w3hich still hurst today, 30 years or more on. Craig Gordon, you have been fore-warned.

I HOPE all those perennial critics of Scottish referees were watching the highlights, if not the live broadcast, of Sunday's game between Liverpool and Tottenham. If so, I trust they will shut-up after what looked to me like two absolute howlers from match official Paul Tierney.

Other than the extension of the particular SFA bye-law 1690-1888 whereby: a “red card offence” is not a”red card offence” when it is committed by the Rangers or Celtic captain has been introduced in England, and re-worded to read “the England captain” I can see no reason why Harry Kane stayed on the park following that potential leg-breaker assault on Andy Robertson.

I can see some justification for the Robertson red card for his tackle on Emerson Royal, but, for me that was, at worst, a yellow card.

The Final Whistle For Bongo

THESE ARE sad days for those of us I the wide Ayrshire football family. We have lost one of our Elders, with the passing of Billy “Bongo” Smith MBE. Bongo had been battling Cancer for some time, always with a smile on his face, but, a bout of pneumonia on top of his Cancer has done for him, and Ayrshire football is the poorer for his passing.

Like Me, Bongo had the best-possible start to his football career, with Lugar Primary School, where we came under the influence of a real fanatic about the game, Headmaster Alex Rowan. Wee Alex produced a stream of terrific players, many of whom, from such a small school, would win Schoolboy honours or go on into the senior game: Andy Kerr, Bertie Black, John McTurk, Hugh Neil and Bongo, to name but a few. Many more had good junior careers, with Lugar Boswell Thistle and other teams.

At Cumnock Academy, Bongo came under the influence of another of the legends of schools football – Charlie Wilson. Here he captained the first Cumnock Academy side to win the Ayrshire Cup. He won Scottish youth honours and went senior, with Preston North End and Sheffield United, where he played in the old First Division – which is now the English Premiership.

But, it was back home, in the juniors with Cumnock, that Bongo really made his mark, firstly as a player with the Townhead Park outfit, but, more-importantly back at his old school, where he rose to become Head Janitor.

He gave sterling service to Ayr United as a youth coach, where he worked with several managers, including Ally MacLeod, Willie McLean, George Caldwell and George Burley; the latter two had followed him as successful Academy players and captains.

At the school, he worked closely with Deputy Rector and Director of Football John Hunter to keep the school's production line of young talent moving. The pair didn't necessarily see eye-to-eye, as shortly before he died, John Hunter, uncle of billionaire philanthropist Sir Tom Hunter explained.

“In one team we had, well even a blind man could see that Craig Burley was going to make it right to the top – he was, even at 15, an absolute thoroughbred. But, there was this other kid who barely got off the bench, I didn't see what he had to offer, which was hard for me, since we both came from New Cumnock.

“I didn't rate him at all, but Bongo saw something and kept insisting – that boy will make it, So, I am absolutely delighted to say, I was wrong and Bongo was right about Billy Dodds.”

Bongo's service to the school and to football there and in the wider Ayrshire area saw him made MBE by The Queen. He knew everybody and everything about the game in God's County.

I remember one Saturday, while I was covering a game at Somerset Park, we heard of a bit of bother at a Lugar v Dalry game at Rosebank Park. We looked at each other and said, as one: “Peachy!” a reference to a notorious Lugar supporter and committee-man.

We were later assured, Peachy had not been involved, but, on the Monday, I was down at the school on behalf of the Cumnock Chronicle, and as usual, my first stop was the Janitor's station to see Bongo.

While we were speaking a Sixth Year pupil, Lachlan Miller, who was then playing for Lugar, came past, so, we asked him: “What happened on Saturday?” His response had us both laughing, as he began: “Well, Peachy...”

He got no further as we both burst out laughing.

The rock of Bongo's life was wife Eppie. Theirs was the schoolboy and schoolgirl romance which would last a life time. They were the Posh and Becks of Cumnock Academy – Billy captaining the football team, Eppie the hockey and netball teams. Eppie had a long career as a teacher, Billy had his janitorial duties so, between them, they touched the lives of a couple of generations of local kids.

Billy's father “Wuggie” was a respected boxing trainer and also the trainer for the great Lugar team which reached the Junior Cup Final in 1956. His elder brother Robert is one of the stalwart of grass roots motor sport in Scotland. A family then which gave a lot to sport both locally and in the wider community.

Bongo was also a key member of the Ayrshire Former Professionals football team, which raised a lot of money for charity. That team was choc-a-bloc with legends: Eric Caldow, Bertie Black, Bobby Lennox, Sanny McAnespie, junior legends such as Wilie Frew and Bongo, they entertained thousands and had a ball doing so.

Bongo loved football and gave it his best shot. But, he could be critical of the modern game. I remember one aside as he passed the press box during a “draw nae fitba” one Saturday.

“That's so bad, I could play centre midfield out there wearing a lum hat and a claw-hammer jacket and never break sweat,” he said.

Rest in Peace Bongo, you were a credit to your district and your family. You will be missed, because they don't make them like you any more..