I HAVE long held that the likes of Marks & Spencer, Tesco, Asda, Morrison's and Sainsbury's would make even more billions, were they to introduce Wotherspoon's-style pubs at their larger stores. Then, we gentlemen would have somewhere to wait in peace and comfort while our womenfolk indulged their need to shop.
A similar annexe to Hampden, where the gentlemen of the fourth estate could wait while the "blazers" were upstairs playing funny buggers with whatever dismal future Scottish football has, would similarly, I am sure, net much-needed cash for those same blazers to squander.
Because, the Lap Top Loyal, the Celtic Congregation and the wee men who cover the wee teams are again hanging around on that massive front staircase, waiting for word on the next lame-brained re-organisation plan which the Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse - Lawwell, Regan, Doncaster and Longmuir have come up with.
Don't worry, it will not be the radical, revolutionary even scheme which is needed to halt and reverse the years of decline and fall; rather it will be a cobbled-together compromise which hopefully offers enough self-interest to gain approval.
If we thought last year's close-season drama, all that stuff about sporting integrity, all those whispered, behind the back deals, was sickening - I fear we may be due for chapter two.
Is there nobody in Scotland who can knock heads together and put us on the right road. Come-on Eck, Nicola - or are you going to pass on an opportunity which, if grasped properly and carried through just might sway the Independence referendum.
I LIKED the suggestion in this morning's Herald Diary, that, after his arrest during his victory celebrations following the PFA Scotland Awards Dinner, Scouser Michael Higden of Motherwell be immediately granted Scottish citizenship and fast-tracked into our international side - since he is showing the necessary qualifying conduct.
DAFT though we may sometimes be, both individually and collectively; I will never shrink from the belief that, when compared with their Saxon counterparts, Scottish football writers are a sensible bunch.
Further evidence of this was offered this morning on the website of one of the supposedly sensible London broadsheets - the papers of record and authority.
One of the football writers was speculating on who would be Jose Mourinho's assistant at Chelsea.
Right now, Chelsea have a manager, The Chosen One has a job as manager of Real Madrid and for all his nudge, nudge, come and get me supposed approaches to Roman Abramovich, that position hasn't changed.
When you look at that level of journalism, it is good to know I am semi-retired. The craft is going down the stank ever faster.
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